I lost respect for him when he told me about his experience with hookers
Q. Today I have found out something about my boyfriend's past that has really bothered me. We've been dating only around 5 months now but it's getting to the point where it's pretty serious and we're actually going on holiday together for a week in a ...
A. 5 July 2014: If he left like he wasn't "clean" after that 3-some then he was bragging earlier with this "amazing experience" - it was said so he wouldn't sound like this was a regret.
As for showering after sex, some people do ( I am one of those - I don't "b... (read in full...)
I lost respect for him when he told me about his experience with hookers
Q. Today I have found out something about my boyfriend's past that has really bothered me. We've been dating only around 5 months now but it's getting to the point where it's pretty serious and we're actually going on holiday together for a week in a ...
A. 5 July 2014: Well, if he went out about town with two elder brothers I can see the scenario where they either paid to "get him laid" or used some brotherly peer pressure to do so, or.. simply encouraged him. Though it does seem a little nasty to do on a family ... (read in full...)
My ex that abused me is moving and its freaking me out because I don't know where he's moving to
Q. Am I over reacting? I don't want to go to much into things but my ex partner abused me. We've been separated a few years now. He still contacts me from time to time. Anyway he contacted me to tell me he's selling up and moving. I thought...
A. 4 July 2014: Have you ever ASKED him how he got your number? Because either someone in your circle GIVES him your number or you need to have an unregistered phone number.
I understand that it worries you, I would be too.
I suggest you take extra preca... (read in full...)
I lost respect for him when he told me about his experience with hookers
Q. Today I have found out something about my boyfriend's past that has really bothered me. We've been dating only around 5 months now but it's getting to the point where it's pretty serious and we're actually going on holiday together for a week in a ...
A. 4 July 2014: He was 18, male with a pulse and in Thailand... While I agree with the attitude towards prostitution and exploration of kids and women especially when it comes to the "sex industry" you have to remember a couple of things.
1. He is NOT you. If ... (read in full...)
No birthday present from boyfriend
Q. Hi everyone, I'm just wondering if your new boyfriend of 3 months does not get you a birthday present what would you think to that? He hasn't got much money at all. He got me a card, but I was hoping for a little something. Even some chocolates,...
A. 4 July 2014: I have to agree with Auntie Cindy.
You two have BARELY started dating, it's only been 3 months. I think buying dinner (even if it was his "turn") and a card is fine. And if you two are still together when his b-day rolls around I wouldn't go overb... (read in full...)
I love her but I feel we should break up
Q. My gf and I have been together for about 4 years and it's been mostly good. But for the past year I have been unhappy. I've tried to determine why I'm unhappy but don't really have a reason. I just am. I've told my gf about my feelings and tried to...
A. 4 July 2014: I think you DO know why you want to break up, you just don't want to say it out loud.
Keeping her around because you daughter likes her is callous.
And dumping her then discovering that you are JUSt as miserable when you are alone, so you to... (read in full...)
Is it acceptable that my boyfriend talks to his old high school girlfriend on the phone once in a while?
Q. Hi all, so I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 years now. He is very loving and supportive of me and always makes me his top priority in his life. He does anything and everything for me. He talks to his old high school ...
A. 4 July 2014: My husband does. He talk to his ex wife maybe once a month, his highschool sweetheart (who is married too btw) maybe once or twice a month. Usually it's texting back and forth one/two days a week and it's never anything sexual, sensual or ... (read in full...)
Since I refused to do things he's seen in porn he wants nothing to do with me
Q. My bf watch too much porn and he gets himself relief by watching but he still want to have sex with me and wanted to do it from behind but I won't let him and he doesn't understand when I tell him no. He tells me I'm no fun, I did what he wanted me ...
A. 4 July 2014: So why stay with him, You two are not compatible sexually and since he is withholding himself from you in "punishment" because you won't do whatever it is he wants sexually he is manipulating you into going, OK let's try.
If it's anal you refuse t... (read in full...)
Is my FWB guy trying to tell me something now that he knows I'm dating someone?
Q. I had a fwb with a guy for 18 months. From the beginning he told me it was just for fun. We met up for sex every 4-6 weeks, and we would meet up for coffee once or twice a week too just to keep in touch. Recently I met another guy who has become m...
A. 4 July 2014: Honestly I would cut the contact with the FWB guy and focus on the one you call BF.
Just because the FWB is now "moaning about no one wants him", he could CLEARLY any time in the 18 months have asked you out. HE DIDN'T, and now that you have mov... (read in full...)
I'm afraid he's only with me because of my daughter
Q. Hi. I'm a 42 year old woman that has left a 25 year relationship with an abusive ex partner. I am over him and his actions!! I know not all men are the same and I understand I may have some insecurities which I have openly discussed in detail w...
A. 4 July 2014: Find yourself a job and a place you can afford for you and your daughter and leave this guy. He is manipulative and uncaring. WHY not want MORE for yourself?
He knows exactly how to hurt you and he also knows you are "stuck" with him unless y... (read in full...)
I feel foolish now that he has gone back to his wife
Q. I was seeing a separated married man for a few months. It ended a couple of months ago. He has since got back with his wife. I now feel foolish. He was already separated when we got together and had been for a year. At the time I was at rock bottom ...
A. 4 July 2014: Now this is not a waggle finger at OP.
Yep, people assume that even if a guy ( or lady) has been separated for YEARS he/she is single. He/she isn't. He/she still has a LEGAL binding contract with his WIFE, that means he LEGALLY can not ... (read in full...)
Can a married person having an affair have the right to accuse the partner of being deceitful?
Q. Does this make any sense or am I wrong? Here's the scenario: a single guys is having a torrid love affair with a married woman for a long time. He only sleeps with her but does socialize with other women, and men of course, from time to time, bu...
A. 3 July 2014: I'm sure it made sense to HER.
I'm sure she saw what she WANTED to see. The fact that SHE is a cheat she might presume that everyone else are too, that way it's EASIER for her to excuse her cheating.
And maybe it was because HE was willing to b... (read in full...)
I feel foolish now that he has gone back to his wife
Q. I was seeing a separated married man for a few months. It ended a couple of months ago. He has since got back with his wife. I now feel foolish. He was already separated when we got together and had been for a year. At the time I was at rock bottom ...
A. 3 July 2014: Eh you made a bad choice, a bad mistake. Don't waste to much more time beating yourself up.
As long as you REALIZE and LEARN from that mistake, it's all good. It was maybe a lesson you needed.
As for the wife... if she smirks at her just smir... (read in full...)
How do I feel less ugly after being ditched on a date twice?
Q. This is the second time I've been ditched/stood up on a date in the past few months and it's really disheartening. I was meant to be having casual drinks with a guy at a bar, conversation was a bit stunted, but I tried my best to keep it flowing. I ...
A. 3 July 2014: I have to agree with Cerberus, You need to learn to stop giving a flying fart what these guys think.
OBVIOUSLY they weren't keepers - a DECENT guy doesn't DITCH a date. If he is not interested he makes an excuse, walks her home or make sure she... (read in full...)
Was she reasonable to accuse me of emotional cheating?
Q. Here we go on the merry-go-round once again. Our relationship started to go down hill. I had been married before, and I admit to cheating, so I vowed not to make that same mistake again. So when I met V, I took my time and listened, when she said...
A. 3 July 2014: I think you are oversimplifying things.
Emotional cheating MIGHT not have come up in the "field" til more women joined, that really doesn't mean EMOTIONAL cheating doesn't exist or didn't exist til women pointed it out. That is like saying t... (read in full...)
I'm in turmoil. I love my husband, so do I stay with him or move in with my lover?
Q. I've been having an affair with a co-worker for the past 6 months behind my husband's back. I'll admit, our marriage has become a bit stale in the bedroom department, all my husband talks about is bills, paying the next bill, financial st...
A. 3 July 2014: If you leave your husband and move in with this new guy, how long do you think it will take for the two of you to become mundane and talk IRS and other issues PERTAINING to a marriage and being a grown up?
You need to (to put it crudely) Shit or ... (read in full...)
How to find inner peace and closure when my ex refused to give it?
Q. How to find inner peace and closure when my ex refused to give it? I posted on here a couple of weeks ago. Just some follow up kind words would be nice. My ex broke up with me. Said it was not a lack of love on her part, but that she was having m...
A. 3 July 2014: I think I said the same in my last answer to you (in your other post) and Aunty Cindy says it too.
SHE doesn't OWE you closure, she doesn't OWE you friendship - she doesn't OWE you squat.
YOU will find closure your own way. It's not somethi... (read in full...)
I'm unemployed, my family support me, he lost his job and wants me to give him money to relocate
Q. Why is he so angry? Is this an abusive relationship? So my bf lost his job and he's having a had time finding another one. I've been supporting him with money for food. Phone bills etc Now be wants to relocate for a job and he's told me to...
A. 3 July 2014: If you don't have a job how are you supposed to help him with money? You mean your FAMILY has to cough up so he can relocate, right?
And when he relocates he will dump you and start his "new" life.
I get that not having a job is stressful, bu... (read in full...)
I like a married guy. How do guys behave when they have genuine feelings for girl Versus if they just want sex?
Q. I like a guy whose older than me. He's married, I'm not. He's only really made a sexual joke once or twice. Other than that, he tells me i'm pretty/cute, he holds doors, tries to make me laugh, compliments me, goes out of his way to talk to me an...
A. 3 July 2014: HE is married so what does it matter?
Does he have genuine feelings for a girl (you)? No, a married man chasing after some young girl is NOT being genuine. He either has an ulterior motive of having some sex on the side or getting his EGO stroked ... (read in full...)
Attracted to women 98% of the time. Am I bi-sexual for other 2% of the time? Implications to consider?
Q. OK, so I'm 24 and this question's about sexuality. I'm attracted to women, would say about 95-98% probably, but for me it would take a mostly exceptional man in terms of personality, looks etc. for me to go out with him, but would this make me bisex...
A. 3 July 2014: Bisexuals are attracted to both gender. SO if you are attracted to and considering a relationship with EITHER a man or a woman I think you can call yourself bisexual. IF you need a label.
Some women don't want to date a bisexual man, only because ... (read in full...)
My fiances sister is a great girl, but I don't want her living with us!
Q. I understand that some of you may think I am purely being selfish but please try and understand what I'm saying.... Ok, so my fiancée and I got our own place last year. We had both saved to be able to buy our own place, and when we got engaged i...
A. 3 July 2014: First of all, you should NOT be the one asking her for money. YOUR fiance should.
And you need to talk to your fiance. REmind him that the DEAL was for 3 months, it's been 7. HE needs to give her 30 days to find her one place.
I get it that... (read in full...)
Younger older relationships in the light of the Rolf Harris thing
Q. I had a relationship with a much younger woman I was 41, she was 17. It didn't work out, though I did not do anything wrong except decide we were not that compatible and arrive at the conclusion there was something not quite right about it! I regret ...
A. 3 July 2014: I don't think 41/17 is at all a smart pairing. One (the 41 year old) has had a LOT of life experience, work experience and relationship experience the 17 none (at least none to speak off).
However, should you now, 10? years later beat yourself... (read in full...)
Should I move out of state with my husband and try to reconcile our marriage?
Q. My husband and I got married rather quickly after meeting and falling in love (within 6 months) and have been married for over 2 years now. We have a sweet one year old daughter. We are a Christian family, and I have difficulty considering divorce ...
A. 2 July 2014: You two should have done some pre-marital counseling, but too late for that now.
But marriage counseling is not too late. If you wish to TRY and reconcile, don't assume you can do it on your own, FIND a counselor and BOTH go.
And USE birth... (read in full...)
He told me he liked me but he has a girlfriend. Why did he do that?
Q. I liked a guy and I told him how I felt and he told me that he felt the same way. about a week later he told me he had a girlfriend. I asked him why he did it and he told me because they liked each other. So then why didn't he ask me out? Should I ...
A. 2 July 2014: Hmm. I think many guys are 15 are all over the boards when it comes to girls. Should you have asked him out? Well too late to think about that now, honestly. You didn't and he didn't LIKE you enough to ASK you out, instead he found another girl to ... (read in full...)
Was he just using me for sex?
Q. Basically there was a guy I was dating for 4 months and since I have moved back to my home town, this guy has cut if off with me doesn't speak to me and makes excuses when I want to speak to him. So I confronted him and he said whatever we has was a ...
A. 2 July 2014: I'd cut the contact totally, there is nothing for you here.
He will gladly STRING you along for company and sex if you are close enough for booty calls.
I think you already know the score.
A guy calling what you thought was a relationsh... (read in full...)
Dating naive girls
Q. Sometimes I meet an attractive girl but then find she's very naive (has many male friends and doesn't believe that most of them just want to get in her pants eventually). That puts me off because I think I wouldn't be able to handle the jealousy, ...
A. 2 July 2014: Being naive doesn't mean stupid or incapable of being faithful.
As for you suggesting to "set strict boundaries" - you are NOT her daddy you are her (potential) BF, so while you can AGREE on some boundaries (which would mean what goes for her goes... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to be a Male escort ...
Q. I have just discovered that my boyfriend is taking a part time job as a Male escort , and would consent to having sex with another woman . He was honest with me , but I feel hurt and betrayed knowing he will not be faithful to me . He cl...
A. 2 July 2014: Yea, I'd say sure go for it, but I can't stay your GF. I understand that he thinks that is an EASY way out of debt, but I'd not date a male prostitute or "escort".
I'd be walking. No way I'd "come to terms" with that, sorry.... (read in full...)
Will my new job damage how my hair grows?
Q. I'm starting a new job soon. They keep the temperature cold there since it's a food warehouse. I know all that air conditioning makes the air extremely dry. I know if I dress warmly, I won't feel uncomfortable, but there is one thing in particular ...
A. 2 July 2014: I can't see why.
If you take good care of your hair you should be fine. I assume if you have to wear warm clothes you can wear a hat too.... (read in full...)
Am I selfish because I do not want to be selfless?
Q. I was dating who I thought to be the most perfect man 3 months ago. He was everything I thought I wanted in a man, and more. We broke up very recently and I have been having mixed emotions of it everyday and am trying to sort out my feelings. ...
A. 2 July 2014: I agree with FA.
It was the right thing to do. Long Term this would be a disaster for you. He might not even pay attention to it.
People can have ADD and be amazing people. BUT like anything else it takes a special someone to live with it.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has double standards ..
Q. Hi everyone! I have been with my bf for almost a year. Long story short, I went drinking with our mutual friends (he was not present) last week and he got mad with me. True, we did drink But within the circle of 6 friends, we only shared 3 bottles ...
A. 2 July 2014: There should be no difference in you going out with friend and him going out with friend (or co-workers). Having 1/2 or a whole beer is not a crime.
I find it rather controlling that he thinks it's OK to be MAD at you for having friends, and for ... (read in full...)
Questions for females, does this happen to anybody else?
Q. weird question coming your way - mostly aimed at women. i started my period about 5 years ago and it's still unreliable timing-wise so i always wear sanitary towels (yes literally ALWAYS and i find tampons uncomfortable so don't use them) but that's ...
A. 2 July 2014: I suggest a few things.
Consider 2 things.
Most sanitary towels have a plastic type coating and that can actually MAKE you produce more moisture and it can give bacteria a "good home" (something you don't).
It would kind of be like wrapping... (read in full...)
Husband sulking over old school pal
Q. Hello Thankyou in advance for any advice..sorry it's so long I've been with my husband for a long time and we have a 8 year old daughter together and older kids from our first marriages, on the whole we've been happy, but about 6 months after we ...
A. 2 July 2014: I would sit him down and tell him either you two talk it out and work it out (and you need to stop apologizing, you have already apologized enough) OR divorce is the next logical step.
Because living like the two of you do now is not working.... (read in full...)
He came back from a holiday and ended the relationship
Q. I really need some advice. I'm having a hard time getting over my ex. We were seeing each other for about a month before we became official, when we were just seeing eachother he said he didn't want me seeing anyone else. He was pretty paranoid...
A. 2 July 2014: H cheated on you and rather then fess up and face the music he pulled a "I lost my feelings for you" out of his rear.. I bet you.
It's not because YOU aren't/weren't good enough - more like HE isn't good enough. He rather spend time with friend t... (read in full...)
Why does a mature woman resort to immature behavior during an argument?
Q. What kind of personality profile does this? The woman in question is in her late forties, and whenever there's a heated argument or disagreement going on, she resorts to "no contact" and shutting me off completely! She jumps to conclusions and ...
A. 2 July 2014: I'm one of those people you have to goad and poke with a stick for quite a while before I go "off". But these days, I have a pretty good handle on my temper.
I actually walk away from any fight my spouse and I might have. If there is a disagree... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend interested in sex but just not with me?
Q. I have been with my bf for almost 4 yr our sex hot and heavy in the beginning now its no where to be found the occasional cuddling, peck on the lips. Sex we don't talk about it, I have to ask for it and Im sick of that I am attractive and I feel ...
A. 1 July 2014: I would call him on it. You say you never talk about sex, why not? And... isn't it about time?
I think Uncle WiseOwlE might right that he wants the "domesticity" of a partner but not necessarily the constant effort in keeping YOU happy.
The fac... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for him to get the divorce and get a mortgage with me, and now that he says he will, I'm not as excited as I thought I would be!
Q. You may know from previous posts I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have just had a weeks break as I could not cope anymore with only seeing him once a week. I have taken up Ho vies and made new friends but at the end of he day I still ...
A. 1 July 2014: The ring while it might be pretty... is a hold out tactics. And then he goes on holiday with his daughter? Nothing planned with you? At all?
He thinks the ring will keep you around, he gave HIMSELF ANOTHER 2 years to wait. Wanna bet... in 2 years ... (read in full...)
I know the relationship wasn't working, but I feel like I should try again
Q. Hi everyone Just over a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost four years. It was a mutual split, but very unexpected...I will explain.. It was a Sunday afternoon, he was playing on one of his game consoles and I decided to visit ...
A. 1 July 2014: So because you have OVARIES you are the one who should spend her time off CLEANING house? He couldn't have LOGGED of his game long enough to run the vacuum, folded some clothes?
He works PART time, yet it's YOUR job to maintain the house? BEcause ... (read in full...)
I was wrong, I cheated and how do I turn things around?
Q. I cheated on my wife with another woman, she's 29, and now the thrill has worn off. She moans about bills and laundry, and once in anger said "Go back to your ex-wife". Well, I'm still legally married to her, but I quit the marriage for this other ...
A. 1 July 2014: I think Caring Guy puts it best.
YOU should be on your own. Divorce the wife, SET her free. And end it with your "mistress".
FOCUS on your SON. HE needs YOU. The two women don't.... (read in full...)
Is it a compliment that my husband has been masturbating over our wedding photos?
Q. A few times I have found my wedding photo album not the way I had put it away. I solved this when I found my husband masturbating while looking at photos of me in my wedding dress. He didn't notice me seeing him doing this. I haven't told him anyt...
A. 1 July 2014: I was at first taken back by the whole jacking off to a wedding picture (call me old fashioned) but then I got thinking...
That was a pretty HAPPY day (for most of us) The bride and groom look their best, they are at the doorstep of a new and exci... (read in full...)
My Bf's family bully me and my Bf never stands up for me. How can I cope with this?
Q. I am hoping that you may be able to help me find the way on this problem... I don't especially like my boyfriend's family. It is very strange as he is entirely different to them. To describe them will sound critical I am afraid but they are loud, se...
A. 1 July 2014: I have to agree with Cerberus and Cindy here as well, AND with Arabella.
Put yourself first for a few here.
YOU CAN love another and not be a total doormat for their family. Suffering ABUSE from his family doesn't mean you LOVE him more. It jus... (read in full...)
I'm not ready for commitment and I think I might know why
Q. Hi. Need advice. Basically I am in a 1.5 year relationship with my girlfriend. She is always pressuring me for marriage. I do not want that yet but definitely in the future. I am always in lust with a lot of other women. I think that might be th...
A. 1 July 2014: Counseling for RAPE is ALWAYS a good thing. Do you HAVE to tell your GF? np, but it might make her understand you better. As I see it, IF YOU want to SHARE that part of your past with her it is YOUR choice. It's not a must.
My question to you is t... (read in full...)
Would this be OK, I just want to say thankyou..
Q. Would this be ok? not a rship question but you all give such great advice here, hope you can help. I am a live theater fan and am going for the second time to a show in my city next week ( the final performance) I have checked w...
A. 1 July 2014: A flower with an attached card would be sweet. And NO you don't have to give the whole cast.
Bear in mind if you get like a single rose to get one of those little plastic container (with water/flower-food) on the bottom of the stem. I would us... (read in full...)
My ex husband is trying to make me the bad guy in this
Q. My ex husband is backing out of his responsibilities . When we decided to let our girls get a dog he agreed to take on 50 percent of the care. That pretty much means when he has the girls their dog goes with them. After five yrs he has decided he ...
A. 1 July 2014: Well, I think the planned was flawed from the beginning. What IF something happened to one of you? Or let's say your ex had to move across country and the kids could only see him after a plane ride?
I mean it was an unrealistic plan IMHO.
... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for him to get the divorce and get a mortgage with me, and now that he says he will, I'm not as excited as I thought I would be!
Q. You may know from previous posts I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have just had a weeks break as I could not cope anymore with only seeing him once a week. I have taken up Ho vies and made new friends but at the end of he day I still ...
A. 6 June 2014: I think you deserve better, or rather MORE then he is willing to give you.
It's OK to be sad, hurt and angry - but take some time with NO CONTACT and let yourself move on. YOU have put in 5 years with this guy and when push came to shove...... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for him to get the divorce and get a mortgage with me, and now that he says he will, I'm not as excited as I thought I would be!
Q. You may know from previous posts I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have just had a weeks break as I could not cope anymore with only seeing him once a week. I have taken up Ho vies and made new friends but at the end of he day I still ...
A. 7 May 2014: If he is still married getting a mortgage with him is the DUMBEST (sorry) thing you can do.
NO MORTGAGE til the divorce is final. And I strongly suggest that IF you two do NOT marry but share mortgage that you MAKE sure there is a PIECE of paper... (read in full...)
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