Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 28 July 2014: Every single person out there have done something they are not proud off. EVERYone has made some mistake or other, not everyones mistakes involve sex, but WE ALL mess up. It's called living.
OK so she has done something in the past you never im... (read in full...)
Is there really ever a good time to break up with someone?
Q. I've been dating someone for 3 months who has started to get clingy and needy. He's a very nice man and has many wonderful qualities but he is way more into this relationship then me. I'll give some examples of his needy behavior: He tex...
A. 20 July 2014: The guys was obviously really KEEN on having a full time MATE, not just a GF.
6 months is way short, but who knows maybe he found one who was as needy as he was.
The thing is you two weren't a good fit, and that is OK. Doesn't mean the next gu... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's little sister is going all wierd on me.
Q. Ok this is weird. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 and a half years. The other day we went to the water park with her younger sister. While there at one point the litter sister, who is 18 and I'm 20, started to tickle me underwater ...
A. 20 July 2014: Could be the little sister is crushing on you, I'd honestly NOT spend time one-on-one with her.
Sounds a LOt more like a crush then wanting to hang with her "brother-in-law".... (read in full...)
Two exes, both wanting to rekindle the romance!
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend for 8 years. We broke up two years ago but last month we bumped into each other randomly for the first time since the split. A lot of old feelings came up. We've been casually dating and hanging out since we met up. The ...
A. 20 July 2014: Hmmm.. Both relationships didn't work out in the past, any of the reasons why you broke up back then resolved?
And yes you spend 8 years with him, it would be hard not to feel SOMETHING for him.
As for the guy you saw last year, well why d... (read in full...)
Will I ever stop regretting that I wasted my 20s?
Q. Hello helpers, Recently I am coming to terms that I have been depressed some way for nearly 10 years now. I didn't think I was before I just thought life was naff and I could never be happy. But anyway over the years I have spent time with no amb...
A. 19 July 2014: IF you WANT to stop regretting it you can. It's like everything else, but most of all.... REGRET is a waste of time. YOU can not change the clock, you can not change the past, so why put ALL that energy into the regret? All it will do is make you ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting? My husband's been having outburts that make no sense. It this the start of domestic abuse?
Q. I have been with my husband for five years, married for two of them. He is usually helpful, polite, funny and affectionate. In the last three years, there have been outbursts that made no sense. In the first one, he started an argument when we ...
A. 19 July 2014: Having a bad day, is having a bad day, you tell your spouse; "Honey today sucked I'm sorry if I'm not good company..." YOU do not HIT stuff or scare your spouse.
What I think you NEED to do is ask him WTF is up. And don't do it when he is upset/ab... (read in full...)
His temper is threatening to spoil this relationship!!
Q. I'm so stuck with this. I don't know if I'm being over picky or if I'm being sensible. My partner of 2 years is brilliant. No, better than that, he's incredible! We met a few years ago through mutual friends and he made it obvious he liked me but ...
A. 18 July 2014: I just don't get how this guy can be OH SO PERFECT... when he treats you that way. (even when it was "only" occasionally)
I also know that most women (8 out of 10) stays with a guy like this, because they REFUSE to accept that THIS is who he i... (read in full...)
Why are some women so insecure when it comes to porn?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for the last five years. We met in high school and pretty much hit it off right away. We became instantly close from then and although we have our own share of problems, porn was never one of them. We have b...
A. 18 July 2014: Personally, I'm not bothered that my husband views porn, I don't see it as competition AT all, but MANY women do. I do find that men who can USE their imagination (instead of having to watch OTHERS have sex) are all in all better lovers.
Doesn... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I'm having twins?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have had sex for a little bit about every weekend for 1month I'm 22 he is 23 and we weren't protected once. I thought he was wearing a condom turns out I was wrong... Now I'm pregnant. I told him and he was quite surprised but ...
A. 18 July 2014: OK that makes more sense, thank you for clearing that up. Since your BF already knows you are pregnant, having twins isn't going to be a huge difference.. yet.. Once you two have to buy all the stuff, bedding, clothes, formula, nappies - constantly ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 18 July 2014: So OP you say (and I quote)
" I just think that unfortunately men and women are held to different standards."
YOU hold WOMEN to YOUR standard. YOUR choice. And if YOUR standard is more important than being with a GOOd woman, then you do not ... (read in full...)
Do you have any idea how I can work on self worth issues to make me feel like I'm deserving of love for who I am?
Q. Hi all, I have significant issues with self worth and self esteem. I have never been to a therapist to discuss thid but as I get older, I'm finding these issues are negatively impacting other areas of my life. I have struggled with eating di...
A. 17 July 2014: Amen to YOUWISH's post.
It's NOT the norm that a BF goes out to bars with ONE female friend without his GF (at least once in a while) - I'd dump a guy like that in a heartbeat. Though he DID give some useful advice, you SHOULD get some counseli... (read in full...)
I was left in the dark and he chose to be uncommunicative when we broke up. What went wrong? How to deal with it?
Q. Advice needed on how to deal with being left in the dark. I was seeing someone, it wasn't really going anywhere serious but I liked him .Our last conversation wasn't great- by text - and ended with a question from me. And no answer from him. Being...
A. 17 July 2014: You are looking for answers so you can figure out IF you did something wrong. Don;t waste time with that.
If you NEED to know why, CALL him. ASK him. He might STILL not give you what you want from him, but at least you tried.
Having a rela... (read in full...)
I think a man who wants woman will not let her go!
Q. I met a man and everything fell together so seamlessly. We were both crazy about each other and he told me he saw a future with me, and very quickly was telling me he was in love with me (within a month). I am weary of people falling too quickly ...
A. 17 July 2014: He let you go because you didn't want to play by his rules. It's NOT just about how much a person love you, but how well the two of them can communicate and compromise that makes for a successful relationship.
You two (if I read your post right) o... (read in full...)
My partner and I get along brilliantly with my ex and his girlfriend but no one around us seems to understand. Is this situation really that weird?
Q. I feel like I'm having an affair because nobody accepts this situation!! I was with a man for 8 years, we never married but we did have two children during this time. We split up for many reasons, the relationship was horrible for the last 2 years...
A. 17 July 2014: I think it's rare, not weird.
Be glad that you all can behave like decent folks. As for what family and friends think, I'd just let them THINK what they like but make sure they respect the fact that you OBVIOUSLY can handle being adult about it... (read in full...)
I can't get a Bf, but is it because I think boys judge girls on their looks?
Q. I had a crush on this boy for about a year, (he was 18) and we have been friends for about 4 years. I thought it was time for me to tell him how I feel, it took a lot of courage but eventually I asked him out. He said he'd get back to me.. He came ...
A. 17 July 2014: Poor smuck! ( the boy, not you).
He is obviously so immature, callous and stupid he had no idea what he passed over. YOU.
At 18 some BOYS think big tits is all they need, some learn some don't.
I think you should be really proud that you cu... (read in full...)
Bf has a short fuse and says he has PTSD and as a result I walk on egg shells. What can I do about this situation?
Q. My boyfriend said he has PTSD and he doesn't take any meds for it. He did take meds for a couple months but he didn't like the way it made him feels so he stopped taking. He was in the army and he said he started feeling that way I guess after he ...
A. 17 July 2014: Honestly, there is NOTHING you can do other then leave.
PTDS doesn't go away on it's own. Medication don't help either it just dulls the mind.
If he isn't ACTIVELY in some kind of therapy through the VA he will only get worse. Trust me on that... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I'm having twins?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have had sex for a little bit about every weekend for 1month I'm 22 he is 23 and we weren't protected once. I thought he was wearing a condom turns out I was wrong... Now I'm pregnant. I told him and he was quite surprised but ...
A. 17 July 2014: Unless you are more like 12 weeks along (not only a month) a ultrasound can't show twins. BUT going by your statement that the US showed twins...
One or two babies, not much he can do, or you. All you can do is show him the US picture.... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 17 July 2014: I agree that it is UNREASONABLE for you to be mad over HER past. And a past as TAME as hers. Seriously.
No one is going to KEEP themselves "pristine" at the age of 37 because they MIGHT meet someone like you. It's unreasonable for you to have tho... (read in full...)
Are people more likely to speak their minds when they are drunk?
Q. So ive got the inevitable question. Are people (espeically guys who are kinda of shy but just in general as well) more likely to tell their true feelings, and speak their mind when they're drunk or after even drinks? Is it true what they say th...
A. 17 July 2014: Oh, I so agree with Auntie Cindy!
DRUNK people just talk more. All kind of ridiculous notions pop into a drunk person's mind, and because the thought is there they speak it. Normally with being sober our filters are in place, that goes out the ... (read in full...)
Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl?
Q. Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl? They're doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome. What I mean by the same type of ...
A. 17 July 2014: I agree with Tisha (again)
To male anon... I don't think a woman looks at a GOOD guy/NICE guy and says oh he is no challenge, let me go for an abusive nasty piece of work!!
The REASON a woman turn down a guy (or a man turns down a woman) is... (read in full...)
Is my online friend right to be angry that I didn't ask him for money?
Q. I have a great online friendship been going on about 18 months now, we are good friends have lots of chats and fun. Earlier this year I was out of work and he was very supportive of me cheering me up and just being there for me to chat when I was do...
A. 17 July 2014: I agree with Tisha and WiseOwlE
It is a HUGE red flag that he throws a fit you didn't ask for money. And NEVER accept money from someone you DO NOT know in person, specially for something as TRIVIAL as "netflix" (or whatever supplier you used... ... (read in full...)
Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl?
Q. Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl? They're doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome. What I mean by the same type of ...
A. 16 July 2014: I think your friends rather make this about the girls then about THEMSELVES.
As in... the GIRLS (they want) don't want them so they are just So Out of Luck - instead of realizing that MAYBE the type of girl they are chasing is NOT for them.
... (read in full...)
They say I would have been rocked by a tree stump. Do they have a point?
Q. OK, I had sex with a new boyfriend recently. It was our first date and he took me to the highest heaven. My friends were not as impressed. They told me my reaction was based on circumstances and looks, ie it was my first time after 23 years of ...
A. 16 July 2014: does it matter what they think? YOU are the one having sex with him, so if you enjoy it, more power to you..
I'd not share any more intimate details with them if they can't just be happy for you.... (read in full...)
Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl?
Q. Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl? They're doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome. What I mean by the same type of ...
A. 16 July 2014: I too fully agree with you.
I find it absolutely TIRESOME when I hear the term "good guys finish last" or all girls want a bad boy" because they are BOTH so stereotypical bullshit as you can get.
I have dated 4 men in my life - 3 were without d... (read in full...)
How to control rage issues, that have cost me my marriage?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I have a big problem and was wondering if anyone can refer me to some good websites, or help me to find information on this. Basically, my husband and I got in a fight, and I hit him. This has happened before, and I went to ...
A. 16 July 2014: There can be two reasons, one can be a hormonal imbalance that makes your anger feel uncontrollable, and maybe your last anger management counselor wasn't good at giving you working tools to control yourself.
Or maybe you thought the counseli... (read in full...)
We had an amazing weekend connection but now I haven't heard from him. Do I call?
Q. I met this really good looking guy at a friends BBQ last weekend. We hit it off instantly and chatted for hours. We ended the night by kissing. We live in different states and he spoke of me visiting him. We even talked about sex and how he wasn't ...
A. 16 July 2014: Nothing wrong in being a romantic, however, I'd keep going slow with guys. This one was using you as a little week-end fantasy, but apperently he was decent enough to not "try" for sex. Maybe because he KNEW he couldn't really give you squat ... (read in full...)
Should I break off my engagement to my LDR? Concerned about so many issues.
Q. Should I break off my engagement? I'm engaged and I love my fiance-he has a lot of wonderful qualities-honest, loving, caring, etc. I do feel like I am taking on perhaps too much baggage to be with him and I am concerned about how our future w...
A. 16 July 2014: He NEEDS to get a lawyer. IF he has the kids 50% of the time, he shouldn't pay (or at least not pay much) as for the mortgage, that needs to be sorted out asap. OR she can pull LOANS of the house and HE will pay forever... Not a viable solution.
... (read in full...)
I have been invited to spend time with my Bf's elderly grandmother. What can I do there so don't feel like a freeloader?
Q. I'm going away for the Summer, to my boyfriend's grandma place. She's quite the old lady (90 I think) and lives in a very, very small town by the river (the whole town has about 20 houses). She owns a farm, so I'll be getting home cooked meal...
A. 16 July 2014: Offer to help out. Help pick the veggies, do the dishes, whatever she NEEDS you to do.
I think a box of chocolate sounds kind of lovely to bring. Maybe as your BF's mom/dad what SHE (the grandmother) really likes.
... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 16 July 2014: Um, why haven't you told him you aren't ready yet? I mean the poor dude have you HANGING out in his bedroom while the house is empty and then when he tries to initiate something you push him off but don't TELL him exactly why?
IF you are not read... (read in full...)
We had an amazing weekend connection but now I haven't heard from him. Do I call?
Q. I met this really good looking guy at a friends BBQ last weekend. We hit it off instantly and chatted for hours. We ended the night by kissing. We live in different states and he spoke of me visiting him. We even talked about sex and how he wasn't ...
A. 15 July 2014: I agree, he is STILL into the ex-gf. The break up was ONLY 2 months ago.
IF he really wanted to start something more with you he would have been ALL over you (in texts and phone calls).
His loss, move on.
... (read in full...)
I think she might try to initmidate me when we meet!
Q. I have recently moved to live with my long distance boyfriend. In a few days time I'll be meeting one of his female friends. I get the feeling that this girl has become used to being adored by all her male friends and may not appreciate me taking ...
A. 15 July 2014: I agree don't expect the worst, be who you are and be nice. INCLUDE HER, show her you aren't one of those girls who can't handle "female competition", because THIS isn't a competition.
IF she does turn out to be what you fear she could be, "kil... (read in full...)
Am I too polite?
Q. I have been single for 4 years now and am getting worse with women. I am too polite and too gentleman like at times , and when meeting a girl I like I go really polite I can occasionally have a chat with one but never see a signal for me to ask th...
A. 15 July 2014: Being polite, having manners is NOT your problem. Your problem is you don't GO for what you want, because you don't want to be turned down. It's easier to "presume" that GIRLS are the ones not sending you clear enough signals.
The assumpti... (read in full...)
A stranger came up to tell me he liked me. Is he a threat?
Q. Hello, I was walking to work yesterday morning 7am, half way there I saw a man come jogging around the corner and he suddenly stopped about twenty yards infront of me then continued tonwalk towards me. I have to admit I did feel uneasy in my ...
A. 15 July 2014: Honestly, better safe then stupid.
If you felt uncomfortable when he approached you, I would have told him. I'm sorry I have no interest in striking up a conversation as I am running late and then I would have walked off.
As for giving you a... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? Holiday booked with Bf but I don't want to go.
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in twenties) have been together for 5 years but we're having our first holiday abroad this year. He can be very snappy at times and I've found he's been doing it a lot recently, I've talked to him and he's said he will sto...
A. 15 July 2014: I would look into cancellation insurance if you bought any (I have always done this, but I know not everyone want to spend that $50-200.)
If you haven't then.. is this a place you want to go? If so, GET a separate room and have a vacation on your ... (read in full...)
Am I too manly?
Q. My whole life I have been into sports. I love sports, I love games I love things normal woman don't. I grew up an only child for 12 years and I was basically my dad's son. But I've also been hurt many times by men in my life. So to protect myself I ...
A. 14 July 2014: I think you should stick to being who you are. Now if you only "acted" like one of the guy I can see being less "manly" (as you call it, but this is who you are.
I have always been a tomboy, had more male friend then female and was never very fem... (read in full...)
I know I'm better off without her but I would deal with it for my son!
Q. Well, I was with my now ex for a little over 3 years before we split. We split last year for 4 months an got back together. This time its been a year an I have been patient with her. We broke up for stupid reasons an in the beginning we would talk ...
A. 14 July 2014: Yikes I would honestly go through the courts and have a visitation schedule, if you live close to your parents or her parents make THAT the pick up and drop of point, that way you do no have to deal with her, unless it's about the kid.
Perso... (read in full...)
Is it okay to date a third cousin?
Q. Is it ok to date my 3rd cousin on my mother's side? ...
A. 14 July 2014: Yep. Legally it is, what you family might think is a whole other matter.
One of my good friend's mom is married to her second cousin (second marriage for both, and since they were in their late 40 and didn't WANT any more children) there really i... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be my own mother? What do I do with my real one?
Q. I cannot live with my father because of legal issues between my siblings. I have moved out of there and into my mothers house. She has cheated on my father and continues to have this affair which includes extremely late nights where i cannot reach ...
A. 14 July 2014: You are in the 18-21 age group so you "technically" don't HAVE to live with your mom. Not sure what kind of legal issues that can prevent you from CHOOSING to live with your dad, but you are a LEGAL adult ( I assume Brazil is 18 too).
So what you... (read in full...)
I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should I be worried ?
Q. I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he h...
A. 14 July 2014: Well, I kinda believe the playing around with condoms drunk... I know my first BF and I had a fun night going through a box trying to make balloon animals.. however, drunk or not (we were) we cleaned up after us.... (read in full...)
Am I just being a typical bloke?
Q. New to this everyone. How is everyone? I'm just a young lad. Started a new job a few months ago. I'm really enjoying it. I've maybe got this totally wrong. Picking up the wrong signals. So there's this really attractive girl. She's 2...
A. 14 July 2014: She might fancy you, she might fancy making you fluster, and she might just be flirting.
Stay professional. You have only been there a few months.
I honestly think SHE is being a bit inappropriate towards you.
I'm one of those people who ... (read in full...)
I told a secret that could jeopardize my relationship!
Q. My boyfriend told me a secret about two of his friends, and made me promise to absolutely not tell a soul. I really messed up. I was blackout drunk and told one of my best friends that secret. I feel incredibly guilty because I know I really fu...
A. 13 July 2014: Hmm.. if you were black out drunk you wouldn't remember telling this, BE honest. You told her and that is that. Being drunk is not an excuse. And not to be rude I think you told her because you either felt a need to share the "burden" or you wanted ... (read in full...)
Do girls REALLY fondle each other to attract male attention?
Q. There is this guy at work, who I will call "John". John is a real chick magnet. Every girl, whether workmate or customer, is attracted to him. E.g. while I am talking to a female customer, she snatches looks at John, and many times smiles to him. ...
A. 13 July 2014: Some girls do, I'm sure. NOT all.
I'd say "attention.. ummm.. seeker" are the ones who primarily do that. It's kinda pathetic.
... (read in full...)
I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should I be worried ?
Q. I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he h...
A. 13 July 2014: First off, EWW if someone find a condom in their couch WHY toss it BEHIND some furniture and not out in the trash? That's gross.
Secondly, if he DOES let friends use his place that could be a reasonable explanation.
If it was open AND unused ... (read in full...)
Is there really ever a good time to break up with someone?
Q. I've been dating someone for 3 months who has started to get clingy and needy. He's a very nice man and has many wonderful qualities but he is way more into this relationship then me. I'll give some examples of his needy behavior: He tex...
A. 26 November 2013: There is never a time like the present to dump this guy. He isn't for you. And it's not about his b-day or Christmas or whatnot, because then there is Easter and so forth.
It's NOT working for you, so end it. Or suck it up and deal with more of ... (read in full...)
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