My ex lover, who's a married man, won't leave his wife and children for me. But he keep buying me things even though I said I only want to be friends. Do you think he is too emotionally involved to lose contact with me?
Q. I had an affair with a married man but ended it because it wasn't going anywhere, I ended my marriage and now I'm seperated.Anyway my ex lover started contacting me and I told him that I ended my marriage and moving on with my life,I told him I ...
A. 4 August 2014: Give the presents back and cut the contact, he now sees you as an "easy" sex partner. He already knows you so he won't have to "find" a new affair partner and if giving you presents means you will still have sex and NOT expect anything from him, ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 2 August 2014: I don't mind talking about feelings, I don't mind talking about issues in the (in my case) marriage/relationship, but I would not appreciate someone wanting to BE with me because I held a PhD in Psychology. Because then it's NOT me they want it's my ... (read in full...)
Need tips to help a player boy falling madly in love with me but not handling it well
Q. I am dealing with a man who is having difficulty handling Love and handling it very strangely. I am concerned for his wellbeing. Well I met this guy a month and some days ago who from what I was told by many, he was a bad boy you know AKA player p...
A. 1 August 2014: You assume... presume... that he will CHANGE for you. Or that YOU can change him.
I think that is the wrong notion from the get go.
HE is who he is. You can play ALL the games and try all the "strategies" you want, but he will still be WHO he ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a female therapist/psychologist?
Q. I just thought i would ask this question. Basically I'm a sensitive man....not a weak man...but i had a very unhappy childhood/ dysfunctional family. And alot of bad things have happened in my life...(bad luck, life failures, betrayals by others ...
A. 1 August 2014: I don't think you should LOOK for a therapist/psychologist as your life partner. That would mean SHE would be your doc and you would be the patient - not an ideal match in a relationship.
Also if you start dating a woman who has to deal with peo... (read in full...)
I am suspicious of this married guy and don't trust him. He's hinted he'd like a relationship. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I am feeling really down about an issue to do with a guy who 'came on' to me about a year or so ago. When I first got to know him he was a friend of my (now ex) partner, who I was with for 17 years. My gut instinct when I met this person was ...
A. 1 August 2014: I wouldn't just "back off" from this ... "friend" I'd totally cut him out of my life, he is not going to HELP you in your life OR your career. He will GLADLY screw you over on both occasions and not a good way....
And I agree, why not just tel... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend back to the way he used to be?
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my current bf for 4 years. We were best friends started dating 3 years back. He was currently in different state due to job and will be back in few months. For past 2 years our relationship was going on fine, we used to ta...
A. 1 August 2014: I think he is done with the relationship, but doesn't have the nuts to end it.
So instead he treats you like you are annoying and irritating and he can't be bothered to listen to you or even call you.
My suggestion is to SIT him down when yo... (read in full...)
Should I flirt more or leave it alone?
Q. I have been having private violin lessons for just over a year and i really like my tutor. His always impressed by how much i have learnt since the last session (think it helps that i like him, so willing to do more)and has text me once or twice af...
A. 1 August 2014: I think if he was interested in more than being your tutor he would have asked you out already, sorry.
... (read in full...)
How should I handle the fact that private information about me was revealed to others by a ''friend''?
Q. Ok, so, I have had this crush on one of my female friends,who i will refer 2 as SN, for months now, and i had only told 1 person im a bi female, my best friend. SN is one of my best friends 2 other best friends. So anyway, i got sick of keeping it f...
A. 1 August 2014: I think you need to realize that having a crush on someone is something you DO NOT NEED to share, because when you DO DRAMA ensues.
YOU caused all this drama.
So you like a girl, who happens to be a friend. Well, you have 2 choices - tell h... (read in full...)
Was it a joke? I haven't met him yet. We talk online.
Q. So yesterday I was just having a normal online chat/convo with a friend I haven't yet met but no off and talk to a bit and the convo turned to sex - with watch others for money, as a joke. But then soon turned into details of what we would do and ...
A. 1 August 2014: Hmm I think it sounds highly suspect.
1. you have no real idea who he is (JUST who he claims to be) He could be a girl from your school getting ammo for school start so she has some great gossip/ rumor fodder.
Now you might say, I don't thi... (read in full...)
Feel sick to my stomach. Love my wife, and know it's wrong to text another woman. Need guidance on how to deal with all this, please?
Q. I am a married man and I have been texting another woman for about 1 year, she does not know I am married. I love my wife very much and I can't be without her, I don't know why I began texting the other woman but I have become good friends with her ...
A. 1 August 2014: GROW a set.
What you have with the other woman is an emotional affair built on lies, you haven't even told her you are married, so it's NOT a friendship. You have a "fake friendship", and you don't know what to do?
You know exactly what to ... (read in full...)
Will I have difficulties in pregnancy because the man weighs alot more than me?
Q. My boyfriend weights 124 kilograms and my weight is just 56 kilogram. We're planning to have a baby. Will I have to face any difficulty during pregnancy because of the fact that I'm going to get pregnant by a man who weights a lot more than me?...
A. 1 August 2014: Was he a big baby? Were you?
His and your current weight has no bearing on the size of your child or how hard your pregnancy will be.
My husband was a BIG baby and I was a BIG baby and we had 3 fairly BIG babies. It's partially genetic and part... (read in full...)
My fiancé keeps trying to take nude photos of me without my consent!
Q. Okay, so we were on vacation and hot at it and my significant other (my fiancé) got up from the bed, then all of a sudden I saw a flash in the dark room and he took a picture of me nude and then he wanted to take closer pictures of my body parts. I ...
A. 31 July 2014: I agree with Tisha.
This is beyond creepy, it's also VERY disrespectful. Personally I'd go through all his devices that can store pictures to see if he has a "hidden cache" of nudes of ME and then delete them all.
After that, I would actually e... (read in full...)
Do a lot of people misinterpret politeness as flirting?
Q. Do a lot of people misinterpret politeness as flirting? I hate it when I'm friendly to people only to have them act cold. I smile at people passing by while out in public. Sometimes I'll get a scowl in return, usually from women. Men just look aw...
A. 31 July 2014: I think a LOT of people mistake being polite, using your manners as flirting. Why? Because people forget to use their manners themselves most of the time.
I'd just be who you are and f you smile at people then keep smiling if they get miffed a... (read in full...)
Why marry me if I wasn't his type?
Q. Why would my husband have married me when I was cjwarky not his type ? All through our marriage he would make little comments about my looks .. Implying that there were things about me that disappointed him . He was constantly looking at other ...
A. 31 July 2014: I think your husband is an idiot, who doesn't know how to treat a woman right, wife, ex-wife or not.
And with all those little comments over the years towards your looks, was/is he a perfect 10?
Why are you even considering taking h... (read in full...)
I'm going on a summer holiday! Or am I?
Q. I have booked a holiday with my boyfriend of 2 years,(it was to be our first together) and was excited about it until he let it slip that the itinerary will consist exclusively of places he visited with his late wife of 17 years (she died 4 years ...
A. 31 July 2014: I understand your anger. He should have told you WHY he thought that would be a good spot BEFORE booking it, so you had a say in going or not. (not that you didn't have a say, you just didn't know WHY he wants to revisit).
But, since it's booked a... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he just not that into me?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I feel like he’s just not that into me. He’s been in florida for over 2 weeks now, but I’m always the one calling/texting him. This isn’t the first time that this has happened. He goes down to Florida to ...
A. 30 July 2014: My question is HOW much interaction are you expecting from him?
He is on vacation seeing family. I can't see the huge need to Skype or constantly text and call, but I'm also from the generation that lived life JUST fine without cell phones a... (read in full...)
Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child?
Q. Am I being silly to be upset over the fact my boyfriends mum made a joke over whether I should wear white I get married because I have a child? I know it may seem harmless but it's actually rather hurt me. I was 17 when I had my son, who is now...
A. 30 July 2014: I'm with Auntie Cindy.
I don't think your MIL was ragging on you she was bringing up an etiquette point. I choose to NOT wear white, it was more of a cream colored, because I LIKED the dress and the lace with my pale skin a "white-white" dress wo... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? My husband bought his female colleague perfume!
Q. My husband told me that he really appreciates his female colleague and bought her perfume for her birthday gift. Should I be worried? ...
A. 30 July 2014: *** forgot to add****
Buying her perfume isn't CHEATING on you. It's a (IMHO) bad choice in present. That is all.... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? My husband bought his female colleague perfume!
Q. My husband told me that he really appreciates his female colleague and bought her perfume for her birthday gift. Should I be worried? ...
A. 30 July 2014: I do not think perfume is an OK gift to a co-worker. I think it's a rather intimate gift. Now if it was a gift basket with all kind of soapy/spa stuff I'd say no worries, but perfume? That is not OK.
Either you husband doesn't think it's inapprop... (read in full...)
Does he love me if he wants a threesome?
Q. Does he love me. Wants threesome other women ...
A. 30 July 2014: I agree, love and 3-some aren't mutually exclusive.
But Like SVC said, if you have doubts, then perhaps not.
How long have you been together, why did this 3-some come up? IS is something YOU want? (If not then TELL him I don't WANT other peopl... (read in full...)
My family ignored my repeated requests to have a homemade card for my birthday. I"m hurt and disappointed!
Q. Ok, so it is my 19th birthday today, so this may sound trivial, but it's important to me. When I was growing up, it was a tradition to make birthday/anniversary/Christmas/thank you cards for family. That continued for me and my older brother until ...
A. 30 July 2014: Like Auntie Cindy, so lovely explained about her family's Easter egg tradition, I think that is how your family sees homemade cards.
Honestly, making a card with your own two hands doesn't mean you LOVE someone more, or CARE for them more then if ... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 29 July 2014: You could make this simple... Hope for a boy. OR... give your child ONLY a first name :)
If I were in your shoes, I would NOT give my child her name as middle-name. No, I would not want any of my children to be named after some racist, rude mem... (read in full...)
He was always happy to talk on the phone, but not so much for getting together in person
Q. I met a guy online 5 months ago and we went on our first date after about 3 weeks of chatting. We had a great time and it was clear we got on well. Soon after our first date, he started calling me every night and we would speak for over an hour ...
A. 29 July 2014: My guess is he WAS seeing multiple girls or he REALLY wanted to like you more then he did, hence stringing you along.
I honestly think you dodged a bullet here. Going from wanting to marry you to meeh can't even bother making a date with you does... (read in full...)
He put down the booze and picked up the anger!
Q. Last year I was seeing someone for over a year (we were friends for 3 years prior to dating) and we broke it off because he had some issues with alcohol. That issue has become a lot better. We started hanging out again in May and have been trying to ...
A. 29 July 2014: Not sure why he drank before, (other then maybe socially?) but my guess is, he used it to medicate himself. THAT can be part of why you didn't see the abusive side of him.
He is no longer "medicating" himself so his TRUE self is showing. And not ... (read in full...)
Why should I have to pay to have given him a second chance that has crushed me?
Q. I had a boyfriend for ten months that I loved alot, and he said he loved me too. We are in our late 30s. He left me for his ex that he was married too, she didnt want him to move on. She didnt like me, so she said shed give it another try if I was ...
A. 29 July 2014: I can't put it any better than WiseOwlE already did.
You "fought" over a guy and "won" except the prize isn't SUCH a prize after all.
And I'm sorry, he just doesn't WANT to put forth as much of an effort as you want him too, BECAUSE he knows... (read in full...)
I'm married and have been chatting with a man for a year. We'll never meet so its harmless isnt it?
Q. Ok so where do I start. When I was on maternity, I spent long days in the house by myself. My husband has become rather un-attentive and has lost interest in most conversation. I was very lonely and restricted in money for doing activities...
A. 29 July 2014: It was a fantasy for him, you thought it was real. THAT is how it often goes when people carry on bonding emotionally with another person they TRULY don't know.
All you know is what he TELLS you. Or what he hints at.
So accept your OWN culpabi... (read in full...)
My grandparents play favorites and I'm fed up!
Q. This is very long. It's getting harder for me to hold in my feelings. My family have always had problems. My grandparents always like to play favorites with their grand kids. There were three of us and they treated Emily much better. Babysitting, ...
A. 28 July 2014: I don't think this is uncommon at all.
Growing up one of my cousins (my aunt's youngest boy) was the favorite of my maternal grandmother. He was always very uncomfortable with the attention and "bigger" presents, a good kid (grew up to be a priest... (read in full...)
My B/f's having a relationship with another girl who I was led to believe was his ex, I snooped though his texts and guess what I found?
Q. Hey all so I've been dating this guy going on 3 months we started dating while he was in another relationship. The relationship was serious he and the girl he was with had been together a year and 3 months and they lived together. Any way I was so...
A. 28 July 2014: Chigirl and Cindy nailed it.
Grow a set of ovaries, read up on morals, common sense, common decency and self respect. Study hard, you are severely lacking.
Since you are in the 18+ category I also want to say this, IF this is how you let this... (read in full...)
We found out our close friends gave us a recycled gift as our wedding gift! Would you mention that you know to them?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm really annoyed about something and I can appreciate there are more important things to worry about but I do feel I've been taken for a fool. My fiance and I got married 2 months ago and because we already live together...
A. 28 July 2014: Well, it's pretty tacky to ask for money (IMHO) but... it's even more tacky to regift things (and not even bother checking the box).
Now, IF yo uwant drama and lose some good friend, then tell them.
If you don't, then let it go.
If you ca... (read in full...)
The families' demands are ruining my wedding experience
Q. I need some advice on whether we should allow our families to take control of our upcoming wedding or just tell them that everything they want is far from what we want. We have been together for five years and we have a three year old. We have bee...
A. 28 July 2014: I utterly agree with Auntie BimBim.
Tell them, THIS is HOW WE want our day to be, WE would love for you to come, but if you can't be HAPPY for us on the day, then you can choose to decline the invitation.
The hen/stag do would NOT be paid by, ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 28 July 2014: Every single person out there have done something they are not proud off. EVERYone has made some mistake or other, not everyones mistakes involve sex, but WE ALL mess up. It's called living.
OK so she has done something in the past you never im... (read in full...)
All of a sudden I have an urge to change my appearance ....
Q. Hi..so I am a relatively not girly person. I don't like wearing skirts or dresses and wear baggy t shirts. I usually have thick eyeliner and my hair is pixie cut short, almost boyish cut. But suddenly out of nowhere I am feeling the uncontrollable ...
A. 27 July 2014: It's pretty normal, go for it!
I have 2 daughter (2 are teens) who go from sloppy, to girly, to tomboy to "I don't know what to call that style", to cosplay outfits.... and it's fine by me. As long as they don't run around with their butts st... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife that I'm considering a visit to see a prostitute?
Q. Yes, this is a weird question to ask. However, my wife of 20 years will not have sex with me and has not for more than 10 years. It is something we have talked about many, many times but nothing ever changes. She doesn't want to divorce me and I...
A. 27 July 2014: I agree with Cindy.
You deserve to have a sex life of course, everyone should have the sexlife they want. BUT you also want the housekeeper, the nanny, the maid, the cook the cleaner, the company that your wife provides.
If she is unwilling... (read in full...)
Did I miss the boat? Should I reply to his message brushing me off?
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this. I contacted a guy last night. I only met him once and it was a while ago. I had a night out with a friend and I met him then. I sent a friend request last night and sent him a message just asking if he remembered ...
A. 27 July 2014: You can reply back, no problem, I'll delete you too. Good luck.
And that should be that.... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake in breaking up with my boyfriend?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend and I'm trying to figure out if it was a mistake or not. We'd been official for about three weeks, but we'd been seeing each other for almost 3 months. I broke up with him because about a year ago he dropped out ...
A. 26 July 2014: Yes, you did the right thing. For you and for him.
You should NEVER go into a relationship thinking you can or need to change your partner. It's more of a compatibility thing. Either you are compatible or you are not.
He is heading somewher... (read in full...)
Did I miss the boat? Should I reply to his message brushing me off?
Q. I'm not sure what to do about this. I contacted a guy last night. I only met him once and it was a while ago. I had a night out with a friend and I met him then. I sent a friend request last night and sent him a message just asking if he remembered ...
A. 26 July 2014: I agree, just don't add him, there is NO point in adding him. So you snogged him back when he was single and did nothing till now, and NOW he has a GF and doesn't want to get into anything.
Next time you met a guy you like enough to kiss in publi... (read in full...)
Should I ask out the 22 year old woman I'm interested in?
Q. Hi I'm a 31 year old guy, 2 months ago I split up with a 23 year old. Now I've met a 22 year old who I like but I'm worried she is too young for me so I haven't asked her out yet. I got the impression from a few of my friends and family tha...
A. 26 July 2014: Are you interested in the younger ones because you think they aren' as keen on marriage (yet) as the ones that are older? That would sort of make sense.
My question to you is, the 23 year old, did you have a lot on common, was the age a problem ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure
Q. So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...
A. 26 July 2014: She sounds like she needs help, MORE then you can give her, as in being committed.
Since you met her through friends have you ASKED any of them what is really up with her?
If I were you I'd call :
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Read up on the... (read in full...)
Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new?
Q. I got a question, i'm a gay guy and I love straight men, especially buff or frat guys. I can't get enough of them. Why are some straight guys so scared to try something new? ...
A. 26 July 2014: If you mean why would a straight men NOT have sex with you? Because he is STRAIGHT. That means SEXUYALLY he is attracted to women ONLY.
Now if he was BI-sexual, pansexual or bi-curious you might have a chance, but an absolutely straight guy? Not... (read in full...)
He had a girlfriend but I let him take my virginity ....
Q. I met this guy almost a year ago, we became friends and started talking a bit. I started liking him but found out that he has a girlfriend so in my head I kind of labeled him as well just a friend even though I liked him. One day I dont even rem...
A. 26 July 2014: Eww he is just a super gross dude who wants to use you and then PIMP you out to his cousin?
Cut the contact, he IS NOT a friend.
CUT the contact because he will NOT leave his GF for you, that whole Vegas spiel was just to get in your pants, m... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting to what I discovered about my Bf's Hooters visit?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. Recently, he went to Hooters with his friends and at first, I was pretty annoyedd but then I got over it until I found videos in his history of Hooters girls. Am I overreacting because I feel lik...
A. 25 July 2014: No, it's really tame and no big deal.
It's mediocre food served by pretty girls. That is all. My FIL loves the place. I guess because he can sit and drink beer and ogle pretty young things...
I have been there for a babyshower once and I don't... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure
Q. So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...
A. 25 July 2014: Oh goodness.....
You are going to get stuck with this emotional rollercoaster for a lot longer then I think you want to.
Why say;" yea I love you, but..." No. That is like giving her hope. And the whole camping your doorstep? Seriously? If a ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure
Q. So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...
A. 23 July 2014: I have to say, DO NOT date her because you feel pity or you are scared she will harm herself if you end the relationship.
If you LIKE her as a person, and it seems to me that you aren't as into her as she THINKS she is into you... then continue... (read in full...)
I'm married and have been chatting with a man for a year. We'll never meet so its harmless isnt it?
Q. Ok so where do I start. When I was on maternity, I spent long days in the house by myself. My husband has become rather un-attentive and has lost interest in most conversation. I was very lonely and restricted in money for doing activities...
A. 20 July 2014: Is it harmless as it will never come to fruition?
If it was "harmless" you wouldn't HAVE these doubts.
YOU said it yourself you feel like you are falling for him, don't you think that is CROSSING a line big time?
What you are doing is... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 18 July 2014: So OP you say (and I quote)
" I just think that unfortunately men and women are held to different standards."
YOU hold WOMEN to YOUR standard. YOUR choice. And if YOUR standard is more important than being with a GOOd woman, then you do not ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 17 July 2014: I agree that it is UNREASONABLE for you to be mad over HER past. And a past as TAME as hers. Seriously.
No one is going to KEEP themselves "pristine" at the age of 37 because they MIGHT meet someone like you. It's unreasonable for you to have tho... (read in full...)
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