I can't depend on him and I can't manage another baby
Q. Hello everyone, I feel like I am in terrible dilemma. I think I'm pregnant, in fact I'm certain I am (test tomorrow) I have a 13 month old baby and am still with my partner but we're living apart at the moment. The past year has been very st...
A. 16 September 2014: First relax. You don't need to make any decision til you know for a FACT that you are pregnant.
So take the test and THEN decide.
It would be EASY for him to say, no you HAVE to have the baby. Especially if he isn't providing financial, emoti... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Pot calling kettle black?
Q. Quick question. Am I in the wrong and he is right? I made a off hand comment to my boyfriend that men don't share their feelings (I was talking about a friend who is a guy, he seemed in a pissie mood so I asked him what was wrong to which he said...
A. 15 September 2014: I would then decline to talk to him AT ALL til he can talk to you in a civilized manner.
Yelling back does nothing. Nothing for you, nothing for him.
Know what I mean? It's like people who hit their kids, telling their kids don't hit others... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Pot calling kettle black?
Q. Quick question. Am I in the wrong and he is right? I made a off hand comment to my boyfriend that men don't share their feelings (I was talking about a friend who is a guy, he seemed in a pissie mood so I asked him what was wrong to which he said...
A. 15 September 2014: I agree with Cindy (and your BF)
Not everyone are open ALL the time, some work out their own issues by themselves instead of talking to others.
I wouldn't make an issue out of this. You two obviously don't fully agree on what "open" about fee... (read in full...)
Should I stay and try to work things out?
Q. I am engaged, but my fiancée is asking me to do things I don't want to do. I still love him and I want to be with him, but he keeps asking me to do things I cannot do. He likes for me to go to bars and dance with strange men while dressing very ...
A. 15 September 2014: You need to start backing your WORDS up with action. YOU KEEP telling him you DON'T WANT to do this that you don't LIKE to do this and he keeps pushing, KNOWING that you will give in.
Now why do you give in? Because you are afraid he will leave yo... (read in full...)
We're no longer together but I was offended by his actions
Q. I went to a wedding recently with an ex bf. we didn't go as a couple but we went together because we were both invited, our mutual friends would be there as well. during the wedding I noticed him talking to this girl on the dance floor. then I saw ...
A. 15 September 2014: You are/were having a FWB - which doesn't make you a couple or involved (at least NOt in his eyes).
He SEES himself as single with a convenient F-buddy (you) but free as a bird to chase any chick he wants, in front of you or when you aren't a... (read in full...)
What do you uncles and aunts mean when you say "children come first" if a childless person is dating or married to another person who has a child or children?
Q. Hi. I'd like to know, what do the aunts and uncles and others mean when they say: "children come first" if a childless person is dating or married to another personwho has a child or children? Does that mean the person with children does not have ...
A. 14 September 2014: I think it's self evident what most people mean when they say, kids should be your FIRST priority.
I married a man with an ex wife and kids. I didn't feel "slighted" that he spend time with his children (without me) whenever he could get the chan... (read in full...)
What does he want from me? I rejected his FWB request 3 times. But I do have feelings for him
Q. Hello everyone, before asking my question, I'll give a 'little' background. I'll try to make it short :) Last year around winter I became closer to one of my friend's friend, and I fell in love, and after awhile he kissed me, and we started dating. ...
A. 14 September 2014: Cut the contact 100%, don't fake a friendship that isn't THERE. He wants a roll in the hay with you, nothing more. Some uncomplicated sex. He KNOWS you like(d) him a lot so he was hoping to PLAY on your feelings to get SEX from you.
He can't be... (read in full...)
Should height be a factor in not picking someone?
Q. Should height be a factor in not picking someone? There's a guy I went out with recently, cute, sweet, funny, and we got along fine it's just that he's so short. I mean I'm short too but he's like 2 inches taller than me and I'm 5'1 I love ...
A. 14 September 2014: Is it shallow?
Somewhat yes, but.. some people would say, there is also the whole :"we like what we like".
Personally, I think "discarding" a guy because of his height is shooting yourself in the foot, because if he HAS the greatest persona... (read in full...)
I feel she was leading me on and then she pulled the carpet out from under my feet!
Q. A long time female friend, (know her 50 years) and I both divorced. We date as friends. During one of our dates she talked about sex. She told me she hasn't had sex in 7 years. It kind of sounded like an invitation, so I asked her if she'd have sex ...
A. 14 September 2014: Were you wrong? I would say... not really, but what I think and what SHE thinks might be two different things.
You THINK she mentioned it to tease you, I don't think so. She was talking to you as a friend and confidant, not as a woman "fishi... (read in full...)
Can my mom and her new husband really change my name? I don't want them to!
Q. My dad die when i was ten, and for 2 years it was just me and mum. I still miss my dad. Mum made a new friend Dave, he is okay actually and i get along great with him. After a while we all started holidaying together and then Dave moved in with us. ...
A. 14 September 2014: I'm not sure on the legal side of your question, but other Aunties have explained that.
When you turn 16 if you DO NOT want Dave's last name - go change it back. (or you can wait til 18). I would however sit your MOM down alone and tell her that... (read in full...)
I'd like to discover more about this guy at work and have some fun. Can I consider that, and yet not hurt my Bf?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for over 2 1/2 years. I love him and that I could possibly have a life with him. But over this past year those feelings haven't been as strong and I've thought about leaving him at times. I have now found out th...
A. 14 September 2014: Ok, you know what you are doing is wrong on so many levels.
How would you feel if your BF wanted a little "fun" with a co-worker he had a crush on? Bet you wouldn't like that ONE BIT.
You think life would be easier and more fun with co-worker, ... (read in full...)
Should I move on and find someone new? Or should I find out why she broke up with me?
Q. I used to like a girl a lot. We were in a relationship. A long distance one. One day she just broke it off. Didn't tell any specific reason. From that day I have had no contact with her. Now I'm really lonely and need someone. What do I do ?...
A. 14 September 2014: Should you find out why? Well, she might not WANT to talk to you no more, she might not want to tell you.
So best you can do is accept that it's over and that LDR rarely works for people long term.
BLOCK her from your life, phone, email,FB ... (read in full...)
My ex says if I date before my kids are grown he'll keep my property
Q. My last Question was in March about the living situation with my ex. Well the relationship could not be repaired and we went our seperate ways shortly after. We are still in contact having a child together, and we are in a legal battle over some ...
A. 14 September 2014:
You write :
"P.S the way he controls me is by threatening me that he won't make his half of the house payment if I date."
So bring up with you lawyer what you can do about this. My guess is, if he is LIVING there you can have him EVICTED.
... (read in full...)
Does he want to be in our child's life or not? His new Gf says he saves pictures of his son that I post on FB
Q. I was with someone for only a month before I found out I was pregnant. At first he wanted nothing to do with me or my child, but two months into my pregnancy he decided he wanted to be there, however, this soon changed a month later when he left ...
A. 14 September 2014: Does he pay child maintenance?
As I see it HE is using YOUR child to make himself look like a good guy. "Look here is a picture of MY baby" and girls go AWWWW - carrying around a picture of his kid doesn't make him a Dad.
I can tell you what I ... (read in full...)
If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?
Q. If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...
A. 14 September 2014: To quote you:
"even one of the anonymous female users even said in an answer to one of my other questions that an inexperienced man is a turn off for women, she stating it not just from her point of view but that the vast majority of women ar... (read in full...)
Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...
A. 14 September 2014: My first BF was a virgin at 19 and so was I. He was also the best lover I've had out of the 4 men I've been with in my life. Why? Because he didn't "think" he was the shits in the sheets, he was game for anything we could think of and he had NO ... (read in full...)
We've broken up yet again. Should I forgive or forget?
Q. Advice please. My boyfriend of 3 years has just told me he want us just to be friends. We have broken up quite a few times in the yearswe have been together due to him accusing me off being unfaithful. For which i have never. Should i forgot him? or ...
A. 13 September 2014: I'd "vote" forget him and move on.
Listen, he has been ACCUSING you of doing things you have never done, which means he doesn't trust you OR your word.
Why waste MORE time on this fella? If you want a partner, why not look for one who WANTS th... (read in full...)
If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?
Q. If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...
A. 13 September 2014: How do you know this for a fact?
You have so many preconceived notions about stuff you actually have NO experience with. And those notions and ideas RULE your life and I guess they suit you, because then YOU can blame everyone else for the stat... (read in full...)
If you've never had a girlfriend, does it get more hopeless the older you get?
Q. If a guy is past a certain age and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, should he just accept and deal with the fact he will never get a girlfriend? Because the older a guy gets and is inexperienced, the more of a turn-off it becomes to women, ...
A. 13 September 2014: Not all women (or men) wants an "experienced" man (woman). Because sometimes "experience" means baggage, such as an ex-wife, kids, debt and drama.
So I don't think your chances are less the older you get, but.. I DO think it will be HARDER f... (read in full...)
My ex says if I date before my kids are grown he'll keep my property
Q. My last Question was in March about the living situation with my ex. Well the relationship could not be repaired and we went our seperate ways shortly after. We are still in contact having a child together, and we are in a legal battle over some ...
A. 13 September 2014: It's really simple, really.
CONTACT a lawyer.
IF you are married to your "now-ex" and not done with the divorce, I'd advise you wait till the divorce is final to date. If you have a "common law marriage/relationship" I suggest you go over your... (read in full...)
Did I push this man too much or did he just get what he wanted?
Q. About four months ago a guy I knew from years ago became friends on facebook. We have mutual friends and I live abroad and he lives in my hometown. Immedtiately in becoming friends he told him he was separated from his wife and that he had a daught...
A. 13 September 2014: Just want to add to your update..
No, you don't deserve to be ignored, but it's not surprising that he chose to do just that instead of acting like a mature grown man.
And maybe? It IS better to not try and keep in touch after this?... (read in full...)
He rejected me but still flirts
Q. My guy friend had rejected me and when he rejected me I was really devastated but know he flirts with me and when I wore pants with ripped knees he kept touching my leg and tried to put his fingers up under my pants where my pants were ripped and he ...
A. 13 September 2014: Yep, I agree with Cindy.
You LET him, so he keeps doing it. You are like the practise dummy (not calling you dumb though, mind you) where he can hone his skills til he finds a girl he really likes.
You like him, he doesn't like you ("that" way)... (read in full...)
Straight man is sending me mixed signals
Q. I am a gay man that has become good friends with a straight man. He knows I am gay but I think he is curious about his sexuality. He always says he is straight but he is sending me mixed signals. What do I do?...
A. 13 September 2014: Ig nore the mixed signal and treat him like he is purely straight. Why? Because IF he gets the nerve up to experiment he might realize that it's not what he wants after all and blame you for pursuing him.
There are PLENTY of people out there wh... (read in full...)
Did I push this man too much or did he just get what he wanted?
Q. About four months ago a guy I knew from years ago became friends on facebook. We have mutual friends and I live abroad and he lives in my hometown. Immedtiately in becoming friends he told him he was separated from his wife and that he had a daught...
A. 13 September 2014: I am not sure what it is you can't understand. The GUY isn't divorced (which means STILL MARRIED) He told you SEVERAL times that he ISN'T looking to date, yet you pushed it hoping he would change his mind once you bedded him?
I don't see him usin... (read in full...)
I know what I want to do, but how do I start this?
Q. This is the only site I trust, and honestly the only one I know of that can answer my questions. This is different. It's about my future career. I'm sorry if this is too out of context, but I need to know. I'm in high school, and know I need to s...
A. 13 September 2014: If you are good at it, you can do what MANY young people have done - POST your music on YouTube.
Check out YouTube for other people who are already doing what you want to do, TALK to them, some might give you an idea of what you need.
Look fo... (read in full...)
We have feelings for each other but he's leaving for Iraq soon.
Q. Basically a good friend of mine is going to fight in Iraq an I've started getting feeling for him. We want to be together but we also both know that it's close to impossible since we already live so far away from each other. I'm confused an don't ...
A. 13 September 2014: Be his friend, be his support while he is gone, he will NEED that more than having a "gf". Deployment are hard on ANYONE but a brand new relationship? Even harder. Skype, e-mail, chat when you can while he is gone. If you two are a good match it ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with him but when can I do it?
Q. I have been in a relationship for a little over two years. At the moment he is away and working in the uk whilst I am in Germany. In this time apart I have begun to realise that I haven't been myself in this relationship. I constantly have my ...
A. 13 September 2014: Just get it done. Switch seats if need to.
I'm not really sure what you mean that you need to be compensated for him cheating?
Instead of compensation, DON'T date a cheater. IF a guy cheats he is out. YOUR BF cheated, he is out.... (read in full...)
His ex paid for his college and housing, now she wants him to do the same!
Q. I’m almost 26 and my bf is 27, his ex is 29. A little background first; his ex helped him get through University as a full time student while she took care of the expenses of their house and his fees. When they split up after 6 years of relationship ...
A. 13 September 2014: I am with your BF too.
What she DID for him was major. YES, they were a couple so it made sense, but even people who DATE don't HAVE to do what she did.
I don't see any emotional blackmail. I see an agreement made by two people who HAPPENED to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend calls me and rants about things, is this normal?
Q. Hi all, I'm dating a man who likes to/ needs to "vent". This is what he calls it anyway. To me, "venting" has always meant something like calling a friend (or even talking out loud to myself in the car) and just saying what's bugging me. Just ...
A. 13 September 2014: I'm sorry it's NOT your job to be his verbal punching bag when things annoy him in life.
Can't you imagine what would happened if he got into an accident while "venting" to you? Guess what it would be YOUR fault!!
The man has some serious iss... (read in full...)
Three years of emails and now he wants FWB?
Q. When I have known someone for three years and there is no relationship. Just emails. Three dates for coffee and chatting. Emails only. Now he has indicated he can only be friends with benefits as that is the only thing that works for him he ...
A. 12 September 2014: Personally, I'd let him know that you have appreciated the conversation over the last 3 years but you are not looking to be anyone's FWB or F-buddy. And that you rather cut the contact then continue down a road that leads to nowhere - or at least ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my hatred and bitterness towards women?
Q. How do I remove my hatred and bitterness towards women for them expecting guys to make the first move? Doing the approaching and asking out, initiating/escalating, taking the lead? I hate this one sided dynamic with a huge passion, even though I am ...
A. 12 September 2014:
To quote Mark D. White, Ph.D. (philosophy)
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201310/does-everyone-find-confidence-attractive
" It’s an awareness of who you are, regardless of how you compare or measure up to ot... (read in full...)
What can I do to help my friend who's down?
Q. You guys gave good advice on my last question so I was wondering if you could help me. My best friend recently broke up with her boyfriend. He cheated on her and she is crushed. I've tried my hardest to help her and comfort her but she refuses. ...
A. 12 September 2014: Does she have any hobbies? Is there a TV show she really love? Did she used to LOVE the zoo when she was younger or have a favorite museum? There are many things you can do that are free or fairly cheap.
Ask your mom/dad to take (or just drive) y... (read in full...)
My friends are messed up with drugs -- is there anything I can do to help?
Q. ok.. so i have this friend of mine hes awesome we hangout like twenty times a week with my brother sometimes without him everything is alright but theres three problems his ex wife has a drug problem and he to has a drug problem i know its none o...
A. 12 September 2014: You can't fix this for him. I know that you want to. But there is no magic fix to "curing" an addict.
You have told him to seek help, he isn't ready. And until HE hits rock bottom, he might never be ready.
As for his soon-to-be-pregn... (read in full...)
How to be a friend to someone you still love (or like) but have to forget?
Q. I have this whirlwind "romance" with a co-worker I've only known for two months. It started out as being polite. He's a new staff, I'm old and so I started to show him the ropes. He would say how smart I was etc. After seeing how I work. I would ...
A. 12 September 2014: Wow, your poor husband.
WHY marry at ALL if you didn't LOVE your husband? And WHY stay another year if you already know that you feel nothing of significance for your husband and never did? Because... it's convenient for you?
And the other... (read in full...)
My wife wants a bi sexual thing and has no idea I know it.
Q. I've been good friends with a married couple for many years. I knew her well long before he came into her life and before I knew my wife. My wife and her developed a close friendship which I didn't mind at all. This woman told me my wife is bi ...
A. 12 September 2014: Yes, your marriage IS in trouble. NOT because she approached a WOMAN, but because she approached SOMEONE besides YOU for sex.
You ask:
" What do you say to your wife when you catch her cheating with another woman, her behavior is unacceptable ... (read in full...)
I don't like that my girlfriend's dance partner pulls her close. Do I tell her?
Q. Hey guys, Let me get straight to the problem.. My girlfriend has joined the dance classes and she went there today and she was telling me what happened there! Told me that theres this guy his dance partner.. While dancing he tends to pull her hard...
A. 12 September 2014: Part of dancing is touching your partner. Some dances it's on hands, hand on hip, hand on shoulder and so forth, other types you move as one.
If SHE doesn't have a problem with it, why do you? If she has an instructor, don't you think if it was i... (read in full...)
Is there a chance for this relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having some problems lately... I've been feeling a bit left out because he has a large group of friends and a new job and so on. We've still been hanging out and when we do it has been really nice and great just like ...
A. 12 September 2014: I personally, think when people need a "break" in their relationship it's the beginning of the end. It's not a holiday FROM the relationship, it's a break, a precursor to a break up.
You kept the kiss a secret for a whole year to NOT hurt him... (read in full...)
If I leave my wife it will be for the right reasons, but it would be a comfort to know this friend is out there
Q. I have read many questions of women wondering if they should date a man after he divorces if he shows interest in you before he actually divorced. This may be long to explain, so I will try to be as brief as possible as this question is from the ...
A. 12 September 2014: I agree with Cindy.
The new "friend" is being smart. She doesn't want to get roped into you and your wife's drama.
SORT yourself out before pursuing someone else. That means GET a divorce, have it FINALIZED before pursuing another woman.
... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to consider porn cheating?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years and the relationship is going pretty well so far. The only thing that really bothers me, and I have expressed myself, is the fact he watches porn on his days off while I'm at work. In my ...
A. 12 September 2014: Personally, I'm not a fan of porn, which means, I DON'T watch it. I don't expect my husband to feel the exact same.
We don't agree 100% on everything.
Do I consider it cheating? no.
Would it be cheating if you read a sleazy novel? Let's sa... (read in full...)
Do I need to tell guys that I don't shave down there?
Q. Same person who just wrote in about starting over sexually I just thought this was different enough for a new entry--I don't like to shave or really even trim my bush, I do very minimal maintenance.Once you're at that crossroads, where you're ...
A. 11 September 2014: A little "trim" might actually not be a bad idea (makes periods less... messy, to put it delicately).
Do you have to shave in order to keep a guy happy? I'd say no. If you prefer a full bush, half bush, trimmed hedge, landing strip, bikini w... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my friend and he won't end things with his girlfriend
Q. Hi there,i am ruhi.for some days i hav been living in a dilemma.plz help.as i have a friend who already has a girlfriend and i feel i have fallen for my friend.for one year we have been talking to each other as a friend but now for last 5 months we ...
A. 11 September 2014: He has a GF. He doesn't want to dump her for you.
So here is where you stand. The guy is trying to pull a fast one on you. He is hoping for some uncomplicated sex from you, but he DOESN'T like you enough to end it with his GF to be with you.
... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my hatred and bitterness towards women?
Q. How do I remove my hatred and bitterness towards women for them expecting guys to make the first move? Doing the approaching and asking out, initiating/escalating, taking the lead? I hate this one sided dynamic with a huge passion, even though I am ...
A. 7 September 2014: Well, you could start out with STOP blaming women for you not having found someone. HATING WOMEN for a standard that have been created by men? It's not really fair, is it?
I'm sorry buddy, you do NOT get issued a girl-friend or fuck buddy on your ... (read in full...)
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