Am I trapped in this relationship with his Ex-wife a factor? Now he wants to move closer to his Ex !
Q. I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 60 yrs old, live with my boyfriend (AND his grumpy Mother) for 3 yrs...who has been divorced for over 20 years, he has a 30yr old daughter who is married with kids of her own. My boyfriend ha...
A. 25 May 2015: Congrats on the new job! And good luck!... (read in full...)
He wants casual but I want a relationship, should I give him what he wants?
Q. I feel like im loosing my mind. I met a mysterious guy and we got on so well, he told me he felt comfortable around me, making me feel relieved and srawn even cloaer to him, but recently he told me he only wanted a casual relationship.I'm 18 and ...
A. 11 April 2015: No, don't waste your time on a dud.
If he can't be BOTHERED to date YOU, don't be BOTHERED to be his HOLE in the mattress to park his penis in.
My guess is he is doing this "mysterious" thing to wheel you in, but matter of the fact is... HE HA... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for us to move in together?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years We are both is our 40s .. We both live in our parents house to save money .. He is divorced with two children. He pays for everything in his parents house and also pays for almost everything for his ...
A. 10 April 2015: What exactly are you supposed to wait for? For hos parent to die? His kids to move out? What exactly? I'd ask him that.
Would it not be possible to find a small place (even a rental) that the TWO of you can live in ? One that is close by? Now the ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and upset over my ex and how to treat the situation! I'm only young but I was with my ex for a year and a half and it was a pretty intense and loving relationship.
Q. Ok so I'm confused and upset over my ex and how to treat the situation! I'm only young but I was with my ex for a year and a half and it was a pretty intense and loving relationship, in which we spent a lot of time together. During our relationship ...
A. 10 April 2015: I think the more time you spend HOPING he will change his mind, the longer you are wasting your time.
IF your relationship was so great, I can't see why you cheated so easily.
My advice? Cut the contact. You keep him around hoping he will c... (read in full...)
She cheated on my boyfriend with her current boyfriend but still tried to contact him?
Q. First year I dated this guy he's 4 years older than me....he showed me emails of this girl asking how he was and wanted to talk to him check up on him, I asked him who was she? He told me it was one of his ex girlfriends that cheated on him with a ...
A. 10 April 2015: What I really don't get is why he didn't INITIALLY asked her to stop contacting him, and after THAT ignoring her.
3 pages SPEAKS to a LOT of emotions.
And dating a 13 year old? HOW old was he at the time? I mean GOOD on him for not taking it fu... (read in full...)
How can I make my sister see what she is doing to her life and her children?
Q. Hi everyone! I'm finding it hard to watch my sister throw her life and children away! A little background: my sister has always struggled with attention after our mother had an affair and divorced our father when she was only 13. This led to my s...
A. 10 April 2015: You can't :(
She might need some SERIOUS counseling or wake up call, but telling her what she is doing is wrong and bad will go for deaf ear by her. SHE doesn't WANT the responsibility of being an adult and a parent at that. Which is probably... (read in full...)
Do you think it's worth texting this potential FWB that I'll be visiting his town?
Q. I gave my number to some guy that was in town for a few days and I thought well why not have some fun if he texts me to meet up. A day later he texts to see if I want to hang out at the beach and so I went. We talked for hours and it was just him...
A. 10 April 2015: Why not? So what if he says no thanks? I'm sure there will be other attractive guys in that town.
Now, if you are HOPING it will lead to more then some NSA (no strings attached) I wouldn't put my hopes up.
But really what is the worst thing ... (read in full...)
Why is it worse for a man to be bitter and resentful than it is for a woman?
Q. If a man is bitter, resentful, is filled with feelings of bitterness, resentment, no woman will want him, but a man is generally more forgiving if a woman is feeling bitter, resentful, why is this? Why are guys expected to always, or almos...
A. 10 April 2015: I don't think it's worse for a man to be bitter. I think it's a SHAME for BOTH men and women to WASTE time, emotions and effort on bitterness, but I do think we ALL go though a time where a little bitterness is a good thing. It's the people who ... (read in full...)
I want to know if and how having 2 children has affected my body
Q. I am a 21 year old with a 3 year old and an 8 month old. They both have their birthdays in August. I know my body pretty well but there are a few places that are in the dark. Literally. I long to know what my vagina feels like especially after my...
A. 10 April 2015: Kegels DO make a huge difference. You may not be able to FEEL them (and no, cracking walnuts with your vagina is not going to happen before or after kids).
Your vagina is a muscle with a amazing quality to stretch and get back to almost normal s... (read in full...)
My ex cannot stand to see me after 9 years? Why is he like this?
Q. I have a question about my ex. I ended the relationship back in 2004 because of how he treated me, he was 20 at the time and I think a lot had to do with his lack of maturity. When we broke up, things were a bit convoluted. We agreed to be friends ...
A. 10 April 2015: I think it SIMPLY doesn't matter. AFTER 9 years, he, his actions and choices, really should be irrelevant to you.
I'm friend with my first BF (it ended over 20 years ago) but I would NOT EVER even consider wasting a MINUTE on my #3 BF too much dra... (read in full...)
Do men even care if porn use hurts their partner?
Q. My question comes as the result of my husband constantly using porn despite an agreement not too and two years of counselling. I have now organised alternative housing but am hurt and wondering what the world has come to Do men even care if porn use...
A. 10 April 2015: I don't think it's ALL men either.
YOUR husband, agreed to the "house/marriage rule" of no porn. Whether you wanted it out of personal insecurities, moral or political stance is IRRELEVANT.
He agree. TO me that is like the marriage vow - t... (read in full...)
I"m on the pill but yet boyfriend is paranoid I'll get pregnant. How do I get him to relax?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half, and the first couple times we were intimate, I was not on birth control, and he refused to wear a condom. He told me to trust him, reassured me that I would not get pregnant, and promised ...
A. 10 April 2015: Tell him no condom, no sex.
I find it rather ridiculous that he is so worried NOW... AFTER making 4 kids.... Honestly YOU are the one who should worry. If you get knocked up and he leaves... you will get a pittance in child support. Because ... (read in full...)
I feel if I don't give my boyfriend what he wants sexually he will leave me
Q. I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over three months now. After a couple months of dating I had sex with him, it was my first time but not his. I'm still really uncomfortable around him and insecure when we do stuff. I hate ...
A. 10 April 2015: If you feel like YOU have to CONSTANTLY compromise yourself to BE with him, it's NOT a good relationship for you.
YOU should NOT feel "forced" to do things sexually (or otherwise) in order to BE with someone.
I don't think it's YOU not bei... (read in full...)
I think my Ex GF Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Q. I've recently broken up with my gf of about a year. I loved her more than any woman I've ever been with, but throughout the relationship she exhibited signs of mental instability that I overlooked or made excuses for because I love her. Someone ...
A. 9 April 2015: Leave her be. I wouldn't be surprised if she already know she isn't an "average Annie". She knows her behavior is NOT always stable or healthy.
You write:
*** I've been told repeatedly never to speak to her again***
SO freaking RESPECT t... (read in full...)
Have never had sex with my boyfriend of 6 years.....
Q. I am in a situation with my boyfriend and I am completely lost as to what to do.... My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 6 years. I am 34 years old and he is 36. He is the second boyfriend I have ever had as I was in a relatio...
A. 9 April 2015: I can't imagine staying in a relationship for 6 years with a guy, JUST because he is a good guy. To me that sounds like a FRIENDSHIP not a relationship.
You are 34, so the window of fertility and healthy pregnancy is tiny. Have you even TALKED k... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he can't be with me because I had sex for money while we were broken up
Q. I'm a 28 year old woman I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year now we recently split up ironically because he didn't trust me but we were going to work things out before we did though I had to tell him something I did because it was killing me ...
A. 9 April 2015: I think you need to stop being with this.
He can't accept your past.
And I think you NEED to realize that prostituting yourself (sex for money) is not something most people want in a partner.
I don't really see how YOU having sex for money... (read in full...)
Is it okay to keep secrets in a relationship?
Q. My bf wants to know everything about me and wants no secrets between us. If I tell him something is a secret like what I did last weekend he pressures me to tell him what it is. Is it okay to not share everything in a relationship? seeing him for 3 ...
A. 9 April 2015: I agree with SVC
There is privacy and then there is secrecy.
If you were planning his birthday over the week-end and don't want to tell him because it's a surprise, I can understand a secret. But if you did something you KNOW would ruin the r... (read in full...)
I've fallen deeply for a man I haven't met yet!
Q. I need to ask for advice about something very special and a very complicated situation. Two years ago I got divorced and after had been enduring a very tough relationship. I always knew I would eventually move on and find someone who would deserve ...
A. 9 April 2015: First of all, YOU d not know this guy. You know what HE has told you and what you can glean from his "online personality" - I say it's not LOVE it's infatuation. It FEELS like love, but I think you NEED to PUMP your breaks and slow down.
1. Th... (read in full...)
My wife works with her ex and he's always calling her
Q. my wife works everyday with an x lover and he is always calling her on the phone for long conversations and she doesn't understand why this bothers me. We've been married for three yrs and it is becoming a problem so what should I do, leave or let ...
A. 9 April 2015: Have you tried to ask her to walk in your shoes on this? How would she feel if you talked with an EX as much as she does (outside of work)?
Are these phone calls professional of two "friends chatting?
I don't see why you should "let it go" as i... (read in full...)
How do I get my money back and get over him?
Q. Dear Cupid I was with my current bf for almost 4 yrs now. Earlier we had perfect relationship later point he became emotionally abusive and now just cause I contacted him once when he didn't call me for few days he blocked me everywhere. No I...
A. 8 April 2015: You could try taking him to the small claims court (depending on how much you loaned). The burden of proof is not the same as in the criminal court and the fact that you have e-mails from him talking about borrowing money would certainly help your ... (read in full...)
He never says yes or no to the kid question, so I'm wondering if it's worth it?
Q. I've been with partner for 6 years, a year ago we had the kid conversation and it was brought up again recently. Whilst I'm willing to let nature it's course, he has told me he has dreams and aspirations he would like to achieve, It's put me in a ...
A. 8 April 2015: I think it's fair enough that you sit him down and tell him, POINT blank I would like a YES or NO answer to whether you want kids WITH me within the next (let's say 2-3 years).
If he CAN'T give you a straight yes or no... I would take it as a NO.... (read in full...)
What can I do about my husband's infatuation and his need to talk, all the time, about a girl he works with?
Q. I am so frustrated with my husband! We have been married ten years but together for 15. I thought things were really good we have a child both have good jobs and holidays. Right now we are on a family holiday. My husband keeps bringing a girl up ...
A. 8 April 2015: Have you pointed out how annoying this is? How is "little crush" is making him look? Talk about pathetic behavior, drooling over some 20's something chick, HE WORKS with. How it's ruining the FAMILY vacation?
Honestly, If he doesn't stop this sil... (read in full...)
Why do I have to bring such effort into forcing my ex to take responsibily re child support ?
Q. My child's father has sort of, abandoned responsibility. I have filed for child support, but a part of me just wants to close the case because it's already been more of a hassle than anything. It's been such a mess that I feel like it takes away...
A. 8 April 2015: Don't give up, this is for your child and your child's future. I have seen the kind of hoops you have to go through, but once it's set up it out of your worries.
Why do you have to force it? Because the guy is not thinking of you OR his child...... (read in full...)
How does one know when it's time to leave a relationship ?
Q. Can I ask everyone, if they gave up on a long term relationship, and how they knew the time had come to say goodbye. We have been together nearly four years and he has just stopped making the effort. I have suggested several meets and he alw...
A. 8 April 2015: You can say goodbye without a row, without a fight.
He ISN'T seeing you as a partner. He calls himself single and doesn't even mention you at work. AFTER 4 years?
I'd say he has already "left" the relationship but is texting out of habit.
... (read in full...)
Should I get in contact with him? Text him?
Q. Hi I recently met a boy out clubbing the last couple of weeks. We have spoken about meeting up, but since Saturday night he never text me like he said he would. I really like him- should I text him? No nasty comments please. Thanks ...
A. 8 April 2015: You could shot him a text suggestion a time and a date (met in public, so you can avoid it being some sort of booty call) -see what he says..
I see no reason why you should sit around and wait for his move.
However, you haven't heard from him s... (read in full...)
He cancelled out on meeting me last minute?
Q. I have been seeing this man for around 2-3 months (we are not official). He admitted to me a few days ago that he likes me a lot and wants to get to know me and would eventually like a relationship with me. We arranged to meet today, and last nig...
A. 8 April 2015: If both HE and his sister lives at his Mom's it kind of make sense for him to babysit - or if the sister is a single mom who got called to work out of the blue and had no one else who could do it, or that she trusts... That fact that he feels a ... (read in full...)
I don't think he will ever change. Should I just move on once and for all?
Q. I was supposed to get married approximately a year ago, but called the wedding off about a month or so before it was supposed to happen. If I hadn't called it off, HE would have gone ahead with it, even though we were not getting along at all. I ...
A. 8 April 2015: He won't change, and you will NOT make him "get" it. not matter how much you harp on the issue.
He says things, maybe not to hurt others, but to make a statement. Whether the statement HURT someone feelings or not, he doesn't CARE.
I think... (read in full...)
How do we help our sister in dealing with infidelity in her marriage?
Q. My sister (35) has this week discovered her wife has been having an affair for most of their two year marriage. Needless to say she is devastated and blindsided. Extreme anger giving way gradually to depression. Worst of all she was undergoing ...
A. 8 April 2015: It's been a week, let her grieve if she needs to, but I would make sure to check in on her as much as possible. I'd say give her a couple more weeks for the "mourn period" after that, try and see if you can get her to come out and do stuff (not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friend is flirting with me and I'm not sure what to do about it
Q. Hi, this is kind if a weird question but here it goes. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for about three years, and I love him to bits. Recently we started hanging out with some of his old friends more, which I am super happy about because ...
A. 8 April 2015: Next time KICK his foot and just say "Opps sorry WAS that your foot?"
That might be what it takes for him to take a hint. If that doesn't work, suggest loud enough for your BF to hear it, that he (the dude) plays footsie with your BF instead ... (read in full...)
How do you stay 'good friends' with someone when you really fancy each other? Would it be better to just cut all ties?
Q. This site looks great!! So glad I came across it. My question that I have is about friendship between a man and a woman. I have had an on off 'thing' with someone at distance for a few years and neither of us are quite ready for a proper ...
A. 7 April 2015: I have to agree, it's your choice.. .waste your time hoping or cut ties and move on.
... (read in full...)
My sister thinks I'm overreacting to my niece's bad behaviour
Q. My sister refuses to put her foot down on my 5 year old niece's behaviour all the time and it's making me not want to visit them because doing so has become a pain. She doesn't smack her which is understandable but even if her kid does somethi...
A. 7 April 2015: I totally get you.
There is nothing worse then a bratty kid. At 3 some of it might have been "kid behavior" and "cute" at 5.. it starts to NOT be so cute no more...
BUT it's NOT your job to discipline your niece. You might think a "naughty... (read in full...)
How do you cope with a 'lovechild'
Q. My husband has 3 children. 2 with me and 1 with his ex. That is pretty normal in todays society, I know, however he had his first child with me and his second with his ex. He got me pregnant and her like 4 months apart. After our daughter was born ...
A. 7 April 2015: I hope to GOODNESS that he has proof (written) that SHE has refused child support - because in MANY states SHE can (if her current BF leaves) DEMAND back paid child support from your BF.
My advice - Tell your BF to contact a lawyer, ASK for a DN... (read in full...)
He has a new job and I'm worried that he'll text girls. How do I control my jealousy?
Q. So my boyfriend has just got a new job which involves working away sometimes, today is his first time working away and he is away for 4 days. I'm so happy for him that he has this new job however at the back of my mind I can't help but think he...
A. 7 April 2015: Well, here is the thing about trust.... Once lost it's BEYOND hard to get back. You may NEVER trust him again, he MAY not BE trustworthy.
You MADE the choice to STAY with him when he LAST texted other girls- he MADE the choice to text them. So... (read in full...)
WhenI didn't find his joke funny and I told him that his "joke" made me feel uncomfortable. Could I have handled this better?
Q. Hi! I need quite some answers quick on this situation because it’s actually driving me nuts. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year and 3 months and yesterday, we were talking and he was joking about something that I felt really uncomfor...
A. 7 April 2015: I think it's fair enough that you SPEAK up if you feel uncomfortable with something he says, whether it's a "joke" or not.
We ALL have out personal boundaries.
Let him pout and sulk a while. Maybe he needs to re-think whether the joke really ... (read in full...)
WhenI didn't find his joke funny and I told him that his "joke" made me feel uncomfortable. Could I have handled this better?
Q. Hi! I need quite some answers quick on this situation because it’s actually driving me nuts. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year and 3 months and yesterday, we were talking and he was joking about something that I felt really uncomfor...
A. 7 April 2015: I think it's fair enough that you SPEAK up if you feel uncomfortable with something he says, whether it's a "joke" or not.
We ALL have out personal boundaries.
Let him pout and sulk a while. Maybe he needs to re-think whether the joke really ... (read in full...)
Was his threesome suggestion just an excuse to have sex with another woman? Is it wrong that I felt hurt by his actions?
Q. I agreed to a threesome with my husband and a friend. I've never been with a woman but agreed to try to please my husband. He didn't even touch me. feeling uncomfortable, i went outside. he proceeded to have sex with her. i was reduced to watching, ...
A. 7 April 2015: You should NOT have agreed to the 3-some if it was something YOU didn't want yourself. But that is hindsight, I suppose.
Yes, he wanted a 3-some because THAT way you agreed to it and can't call it cheating.
What I don't understand is th... (read in full...)
He called me selfish. He blames me 100%. Is there anything else I can do, to try and help us find solutions, not blame?
Q. Whenever me and my boyfriend argue he always blames me for whatever problem has occurred 100% and never takes any responsibility.Though I must say we do not argue any more than any other couple I know. I used to take this that things were 100%...
A. 7 April 2015: Honestly, there isn't anything you can do to change this. I don't this is all about you though.
HOW does he treat his mother?
How does his dad treat his mother?
I ask that because this BLAMING you 100% of the time is a learned behavior. I th... (read in full...)
I'm ready to settle down and start a family, but she isn't.
Q. Dear All, I need some advice and help, I have got myself in to a pickle! I am a 34 year old man, I have been looking for ideal soul mate or a woman who I can start a family with, In the process I have dated quite a few. I finally moved in with ...
A. 7 April 2015: I'm fully with YouWish here.
YOU are SO not ready. The fact that you think juggling two girls is OK if the END GOAL is for you to pick one to be the mother of your future children, you are lacking not only common sense, common decency, but also... (read in full...)
How long, on average, does it take to get over a 7 year relationship?
Q. Hi there, My question is about breaking up with someone. How long, on average, does it take to get over a 7 year relationship with someone you really loved and still love? I am going through this now and it's been about 3 weeks but I am still ...
A. 6 April 2015: Took me 2 years (roughly) to get over a 4 1/2 year relationship. So it all depends on you, the relationship, how it ended and so on.
Nothing is set in stone. I have seen people who were "over" a 5 year relationship in weeks (my guess? They wer... (read in full...)
Text overload and being clingy may have scared him off!
Q. Hi there, I am looking for some honest advice and interested in hearing views from men as well, if possible. Basically, if a guy really genuinely likes a woman and is 'into her', during the early dating stages and she freaks him out with text ov...
A. 6 April 2015: I agree, that there isn't ONE perfect partner out there for each of us, life just doesn't work that way.
If you FEEL like you ARE texting to much or if HE feels you are, then cut down a notch. YOU are in MY age group so you SHOULD remember... (read in full...)
I found out he was married when his father in law died
Q. Been seeing a man for about a month, we work for the same company but not in the same property meaning we do not physically see each other at work a lot at all. Anyway, I found out that despite what he told me, he is married since it was announce...
A. 6 April 2015: Tell him/text him. I'm sorry for your loss, but do not contact me ever again, as I want NOTHING to do with you.
Then block and delete his number.
It's NOT being mean, it's BEING honest. He may not "appreciate" the honesty, liars seldom do,... (read in full...)
Am I trapped in this relationship with his Ex-wife a factor? Now he wants to move closer to his Ex !
Q. I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 60 yrs old, live with my boyfriend (AND his grumpy Mother) for 3 yrs...who has been divorced for over 20 years, he has a 30yr old daughter who is married with kids of her own. My boyfriend ha...
A. 6 April 2015: If you have 40K in the bank, why not look into a room mate situation? Where you rent a room instead of finding your own place (yet). Then keep looking for jobs even perhaps one you may not have considered to do - something to HELP you not dig too ... (read in full...)
How do you cope with a 'lovechild'
Q. My husband has 3 children. 2 with me and 1 with his ex. That is pretty normal in todays society, I know, however he had his first child with me and his second with his ex. He got me pregnant and her like 4 months apart. After our daughter was born ...
A. 5 April 2015: Are you being immature? Not really, but you ARE being unfair. The KIDS he MADE with her didn't HAVE a choice in all this. It's a CHILD. Don't HATE on a kid. It's petty and unbecoming. Hating the EX? Doesn't help you either. It just makes you look ... (read in full...)
Am I trapped in this relationship with his Ex-wife a factor? Now he wants to move closer to his Ex !
Q. I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 60 yrs old, live with my boyfriend (AND his grumpy Mother) for 3 yrs...who has been divorced for over 20 years, he has a 30yr old daughter who is married with kids of her own. My boyfriend ha...
A. 3 April 2015: You say you are trapped, is that because you CAN'T live on your own? You have no place/income?
... (read in full...)
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