How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 14 February 2022: Congrats OP!
best of luck for the future!... (read in full...)
Is it a game or is she genuinely interested?
Q. a female work colleague who I got on well with, left the company I work for, to go to university. we speak now and then on facebook, and she is good at getting back to me, surprisingly. when I last messaged, I didn’t get a reply, not that I was ...
A. 2 January 2022: It all depends, do you WANT coworkers on your Facebook?
If you aren't sure I'd leave the friend's request alone and not accept JUST yet. You don't HAVE to accept all friend
requests you get.
And yes, some people like to snoop.
Personall... (read in full...)
She hasn't responded to a recent Facebook message. Have I done something wrong?
Q. here’s how it goes. I work for a company that deals in computers, I enjoy what I do and have made friends from it. the job is okay, nothing special about it, a jobs a job as they say. I found out a work colleague is leaving the company after ma...
A. 2 January 2022: She might have a BF/fiance/husband so a message from a male coworker might not feel OK to reply to for her.
Or she is leaving the past in the past when it comes to work and former coworkers. Some people do that. Doesn't mean you did anything... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 2 January 2022: Just let it take its natural cause.
When you get back and you both are testing negative for Covid then meet up and talk.
I'd hold back on asking him what question he has, LET him ask when HE is ready.
You want to know NOW. I get that but... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about a manipulative close friend
Q. I have recently discovered that one of my closest friends is a liar and a manipulator; there really isn’t another word for it. In the past 6-7 I’ve had some doubts here and there, but never got a clear confirmation. Until now. I’ve known her...
A. 1 January 2022: I absolutely agree with YCBS, this isn't ON you nor YOUR doing - this is ALL her.
You guys in the friend circle probably ignored a lot of red flags with this one, which in turn emboldened her to keep doing this and creating division and drama. S... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting the games to stop?
Q. Have been having a few irritating games being carried out in our situationship. Just annoying. I felt I was being toyed with I said it must stop and now he is ignoring me and turning away when he comes near me. Am I being out of line expecting t...
A. 1 January 2022: Are you out of line to ask for games to stop? No.
Does it mean he will respect your wishes? No.
Why not just END "whatever" it is you got going on with this guy and block, remove, ignore and delete ANYTHING pertaining to this guy?
He isn't... (read in full...)
After my friend rejected me, I spiraled into depression
Q. Hi, any advice is appreciated. I've been feeling lost recently. About 5 years ago when I was younger I asked my best friend out and she rejected me. Ever since I was sent into a spiral of self hate that I'm only now recovering from. 3 year...
A. 31 December 2021: OP, I'm sorry you got hurt.
Rejection is part of the human experience in various forms. From love interests to jobs, to a variety of other things. We all get rejected in life. Everyone one of us.
You didn't get singled out to be rejected.
... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after he admitted to watching porn?
Q. I don't even know where to start Me and my boyfriend / ex boyfriend had a lot of problems. I could never deal with his past but I kept trying. And 2 days ago he told me something new from his past, and I was so hurt that I only had one thought ...
A. 30 December 2021: "If watching porn is a deal breaker for you, then I say forgive him, but move on."
Amen to Ciar.
I totally agree.
Either you are OK with it or not.
Secondly, tell him to NOT get a tattoo of your name any time soon. It would be dumb. It ... (read in full...)
Was I love bombed?
Q. Was I love bombed? So I've known this guy for the past 5 years. He lives in another state and we only see each other every other year. We were fwb and he was never very affectionate towards me, but during our recent encounter, he was showerin...
A. 30 December 2021: Ok this has been going on for 5 years and nothing "good" has come of it, plus you found out that you are just "one of many" women in his life.
So, you have to decide, is THIS what I want or not?
My guess is that you want something "real"... (read in full...)
Why did she contact me sfter telling me not to contact her
Q. This is an odd situation. I got dumped by this girl, and saying that we’re not on speaking terms goes without saying. She tells me to "No longer contact her for ANY reasons." So, I honour that fully. Now, strange thing is, she, for some oddball ...
A. 29 December 2021: She wants your attention. That is clear.
You call her an "enemy" which is a strong word to call someone, even an ex, and especially years after a break-up, shouldn't you be indifferent by now? Why hold on to feelings about this woman still? ... (read in full...)
If she does not like me why the friend request?
Q. hi aunts advice needed, I work at a warehouse processing materials for shirts and badges for football teams. there is a female at work who doesn’t seem to like me, either because I’m ugly or get on her nerves. I normally don’t do social media, b...
A. 29 December 2021: Maybe she wants to snoop on your life, OP
Some people are like that. You say she hates you, I think that might be a bit strong. People don't in general HATE others for being ugly or.. annoying.
What is your best move? Just unfriend & block... (read in full...)
Does she see things from my point of view
Q. I’ve been friends with a female who I have had a crush on, for many years. we both like each other but have never acted on our instincts. she told me she had a boyfriend, which I was disappointed by. I told her that I have a crush on her and she ...
A. 29 December 2021: You aren't her friend. You have an ulterior motive for being around her, the fact that you are attracted to her and want to date her. That is not friendship, OP
People don't (in general) want to date their friends.
Declaring your feelings fo... (read in full...)
Is my brother in law using my sister?
Q. Am I crazy to think my brother in law is using my sister? She helped him obtain residency papers, start a new career which led to a 50 percent salary increase yet he didn’t get her anything for Christmas? She was so upset. I didn’t know what to say ...
A. 27 December 2021: Buying property in his home country can be an investment. It can be for HIS family back home or... he will at some point move there with or without divorcing your sister.
Does he celebrate Christmas?
And how is the marriage overall?
Did ... (read in full...)
Is it worth asking this personal trainer out?
Q. I haven't dated in over 2 years now, so I'm a bit out of practice so to speak. My life is finally in order as I recently moved to the States, have a job, a house I just bought, and am slowly trying to adapt to a "real life" again. I'm 34. I've...
A. 27 December 2021: Thanks for the update and clarification.
That does make a difference IMHO. Ask her out for coffee, see where it goes.
Even if she is "only" a recruiter, she might not be allowed to date clients. Different GYMs/Companies have different rules.... (read in full...)
Do I have a valid reason to be upset with him?
Q. I started a LDR with a filipino man last year in September and we talk everyday and check up on each other, spend good time together. I came up with the idea to send our own cultural foods to each other. So he agreed, and I asked whether he was able ...
A. 25 December 2021: First of all, it seems that you know this can't really go anywhere. Other than some pen-pal-ish friendship. So you know that while you FELT excited and attracted to him in the beginning and hoped it could be more, over time you have come to realize ... (read in full...)
My husband recently confessed to being tempted to accept a blow job
Q. My husband recently confessed to me that when he was young he was offered a blowjob by a friend and said the ONLY reason he said no was that his friend wanted to record it. He even admitted if that was not the case he might have tried it on his ...
A. 24 December 2021: If this happened prior to marriage, I don't really see a HUGE issue.
It doesn't make him gay.
It makes him curious.
I think the idea that MEN would give a VERY different blow job than a woman is probably a bit "interesting" for some m... (read in full...)
My wife expects perfection, even in fantasies
Q. I feel like my wife has gotten really boring when it comes to sex and fantasies. Everything surrounding it has to be perfect, even in fantasies. She suggested we watch porn together but because everyone in the video had to be the exact right level ...
A. 24 December 2021: I think you might have hit the nail on the head.
She isn't really wanting sex (for whatever reason) so she complicates it as much as possible because she knows that will likely prevent sex from happening. It might NOT be done on purpose though. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant after breaking up with my ex for stealing from me
Q. I have been in a relationship with a guy 6 years younger than me and have been trying for a baby ... 6 days before my periods he stole money from me ...I was pissed off and I just went mute and told him to never speak to me until he has returned the ...
A. 24 December 2021: I can understand how you are feeling, but morally I don't agree.
It takes 2 to make a baby. Half of the baby's DNA is his. You wouldn't HAVE this pregnancy if it wasn't for him. I think he has the right to know. As much as that sucks.
I'm gue... (read in full...)
Is it worth asking this personal trainer out?
Q. I haven't dated in over 2 years now, so I'm a bit out of practice so to speak. My life is finally in order as I recently moved to the States, have a job, a house I just bought, and am slowly trying to adapt to a "real life" again. I'm 34. I've...
A. 24 December 2021: Mmmm, OP
You do know that PTs (personal trainers) are usually VERY social and very friendly because THAT is how you get clients and keep clients. That is how you get a good salary. It's not just showing people how to work out. The social aspect i... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend lashes out at me when he's stressed
Q. I have a new partner after getting divorced and I have to say I really like him. We have the most amazing passionate relationship and in the last few months we’ve both admitted it’s love, we live quite far from each other but we manage it fine and...
A. 24 December 2021: Should you worry?
I'd say yes.
You live far enough away from each other that he CAN be on his "best behavior" when you two meet up and you only see a tiny bit of his personality when he is stressed. HOW do you think it would be if you lived wit... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I haven't spoken in two weeks
Q. I have been with my partner over four years though we have had many ups and downs, primarily because I feel he doesn't want commitment. He says he is committed to me, wants no one else yet he doesn't want marriage and evades the topic of moving in ...
A. 24 December 2021: I think you need to accept that he will NEVER fulfill your needs.
And I think you need to accept that the relationship is over. You are NOT his GF. You have been his "companion" or perhaps a sort of FWB, but never someone he wanted to BE with.
... (read in full...)
Is this the end of Dear Cupid?
Q. Is this site reaching the end of its life? Not to say that I want it to be but are we actually providing a genuine service to anybody any more? Back in the "good old days" we'd have a couple of hundred questions posted every month. Now we do...
A. 21 December 2021: Miss you Cindy!
Hope all is well with you. And yes there have been a few glitches with not posting stuff, and then days later it worked again. It's frustrating to write long answers and then poof they don't show up :(
Glad to see you are doin... (read in full...)
My friend uses her self inflicted heart condition to gain sympathy
Q. My friend is a hard drug user. When I met her 10 years ago she was clean and stayed clean for the next 5 years. When I first met her I told her that normally I would never have a close friendship with a drug user as those people are on a differe...
A. 21 December 2021: OP, you are right in feeling how you feel.
Just know you can't control her OR your sister.
You might have better luck talking to your sister, letting her know to not get taken advantage of. But again, you can't control your sister and her c... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has allowed his ex girlfriend to move in with him
Q. Hey there! I got in a relationship 3 months ago with this amazing guy and I really like him. We have been spending all of our weekends together and have been on two trips. The relationship with him was going great until last month when he told me ...
A. 21 December 2021: I agree with Ciar.
You did the right thing. You didn't cause drama you just left.
In my experience, MOST people who keep exes around after a breakup do it for a reason. Either they are still emotionally invested in them, still love them, want ... (read in full...)
I'm beginning to see my boyfriend as a free loader
Q. Free rider? My boyfriend of 8 months now seems like a free rider..tell me.if am mistaken I didn't notice anything until it was time to go on vacation. We went to Cancun and all but 500$ was paid with my points all inclusive. 500$ went on my credi...
A. 21 December 2021: Urgh!
Take the loss, OP, and just dump him.
This is going to happen over and over, HE is a user. The reason he can go to all these expensive sports events is that YOU paid for the vacation.
Maybe blast him on socials? It might make h... (read in full...)
Are things serious?
Q. My girlfriend kissed me in the cheek for the first time, and in school! Does this mean things got more serious?...
A. 20 December 2021: We can't guess that, OP
You would have to ask her.
... (read in full...)
Do I just not respond to text from friend? Its been a troubled relationship
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles ! First of all, thank you for the help and support you’ve given me over the years ! And I wish you all the best in the new 2022 ! Hopefully it will be much MUCH better than the previous two ?? Long story short – after DECA...
A. 20 December 2021: OP, wouldn't it be easier to just block and delete her? If you block them all, you don't have to fret over what to do IF/WHEN they text.
You don't see her as a friend, or "family by proxy", you know she is toxic to those around her. There is no re... (read in full...)
Is this the end of Dear Cupid?
Q. Is this site reaching the end of its life? Not to say that I want it to be but are we actually providing a genuine service to anybody any more? Back in the "good old days" we'd have a couple of hundred questions posted every month. Now we do...
A. 20 December 2021: Yeah, I think DC is dying, unfortunately.
I don't think the couple of trolls on DC ( I think we have more than one active troll) are responsible for the decline. I think perhaps some people find sites like Redit with millions of users is just bet... (read in full...)
My mother ruined my wedding day
Q. I have a controlling mother- she’s always been like it and ive just spent my whole life accepting it. She has no boundaries and interferes all the time. I got married 3 years ago and did so many things that upset me and like an idiot I...
A. 19 December 2021: I'm sorry that your mom is a cow.
The thing is THIS is who she is, She was like this before the wedding and she will continue to be like this after and probably until the day she dies. THIS is who she is.
Many people have this idea that weddin... (read in full...)
How do I handle my controlling sister in law without damaging relationships?
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost seven years and together for almost 11. I've always had a good relationship with my in-laws...BUT. I have also always felt like I've had to tiptoe around his only sibling (a sister who is a year older ...
A. 19 December 2021: I don't see it as being controlling to suggest a present - maybe she read or saw something about the concert and thought, "OH maybe Mom and Dad would like that".
All YOU would have had to say is, a nice idea perhaps but we have already purchase... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't enough for me anymore
Q. My boyfriend is not enough for me anymore. I have always thought it wouldn’t matter that he’s short, cause he was in shape. Then, he got fat. Refuses to work out which I do. We don’t even look like a couple. Then he got grumpy. Is in weird angry ...
A. 15 December 2021: You are done and have been done for a long while, I'm guessing so LEAVE. There will ALWAYS be an "excuse" for NOT to leave, OP.
It's sad that his dad is sick, I hope he gets well. However, you two dating has nothing to do with his dad's illness.... (read in full...)
Can I get a date on facebook?
Q. To sum up briefly, about 3 years ago we met about 10 times as she was serving me at the postal service, we don't know each other, I think she was interested in me at the time but nothing happened, the only chance to meet her is to contact her on ...
A. 14 December 2021: Yes, just go slow. What is the hurry anyway?
Start with a simple going for coffee. It's OK if that encounter seems to go really nice to say that you found her attractive. But don't "spring" it on her in a Facebook message.
If she thought you ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife cheated. Sad and don't know what to do
Q. My wife of 20 years or so.I found a letter that my wife wrote to a man. Who she was having an affair with the letter was so detailed about the sex she had with him.I pick up the phone called her work and told her about the letter .She said it was ...
A. 13 December 2021: Mike,
You know what to do. Call a lawyer, file for divorce, get a STI check-up (asap)
Why she made her choices is anyone's guess. Sounds like she is trying to gaslight you into thinking it's no big deal when in fact it is.
Sorry, OP I'd b... (read in full...)
My husband has double standards
Q. I’m in a marriage, and I recently found out my husband has had a pattern of secretly texting other woman, gets emotionally close and then ghosts them and moves on to the next woman, I had my suspicions for years but buried my head in the sand about ...
A. 13 December 2021: What did you expect?
He didn't want to own his actions with his "emotional affairs" so why would he be OK with you doing something similar?
After all, you aren't him, right?
You were just supposed to keep your head in the sand and pretend... (read in full...)
Is it normal to cry over not being able to do your routine?
Q. Is it normal to cry over not being able to do my routine? Very unusual for me, I live with parents but I have a very busy schedule with work etc. I specially took a day off so I could sort my room and myself which means extra time spent on me...
A. 12 December 2021: Sometimes dumb shit can make us all want to cry or actually cry.
However, if this is not something you have done before, then maybe there is more to it?
I mean, couldn't you have gotten a bowl and pitcher with warm water and then just washed... (read in full...)
I got called a homophobe when I did nothing wrong
Q. I go regularly to a nearby gym (I'm a young woman). Due to something horrible going on in my life right now I am often pretty stressed and was walking around the gym earlier today with a serious expression on my face. As I did so I passed two guys ...
A. 12 December 2021: OP, relax.
Some people just like to create drama out of nothing.
You had NO idea he was gay, thus you didn't look down at him FOR BEING GAY, nor did you give him dirty look, YOU HAD a BAD DAY!
FFS!
Stop playing along with this drama-ll... (read in full...)
Should I go to husbands family for Xmas after racial incident?
Q. My husband's family makes a huge deal out of christmas, huge dinner, tons of gifts, etc. Whenever we are there, we do all the dishes for a family of 6, and when guests come over we do all the dishes for a family of 15. Also, I clean up after all the ...
A. 12 December 2021: What strikes me is this:
" I am exhausted from standing up for myself in racial incidents, but honestly I think even if I was with a POC I would have to stand up for myself in other ways so IDK, it's like leaving one set of problems for another.... (read in full...)
Can I get a date on facebook?
Q. To sum up briefly, about 3 years ago we met about 10 times as she was serving me at the postal service, we don't know each other, I think she was interested in me at the time but nothing happened, the only chance to meet her is to contact her on ...
A. 12 December 2021: I agree with YCBS,
You didn't make a move 3 years ago but NOW you HAVE to? Because now you are ready?
"I know I needed to talk to you earlier but a lot was going on, and I wasn't ready for this. I'd really want to get to know you, and if ther... (read in full...)
Why does my ex make everything so difficult ?
Q. I’m trying to make the best of things after splitting with my ex but she keeps making everything so difficult. I don’t understand what her problem is. We have a 15-month old son together so obviously need to stay in each other’s lives because ...
A. 10 December 2021: Ok, first of all, have the visitation schedule made legal. Talk to a solicitor and family court ( or the UK version of that). HAVE it in writing. LEGALIZED. Same with the maintenance. HAVE it legalized and in writing. But make SURE you have the ... (read in full...)
Why did I give in this time to his media request?
Q. Hi all, I need to vent about this. I had a secret “boyfriend” when I was young. He was my first everything. I’ll call him John. This was many years ago. I was 13, he was 17. I explored why in my 20s in therapy. My mother was an abusive person a...
A. 10 December 2021: It's NOT your fault that he keeps making new accounts, YOU can not control him. AT all. Nor is it your job.
But do not reply to him. At all. Even answering once, is an "open invitation" in his eyes. So don't reply at all. Even if you want to defen... (read in full...)
Why did I give in this time to his media request?
Q. Hi all, I need to vent about this. I had a secret “boyfriend” when I was young. He was my first everything. I’ll call him John. This was many years ago. I was 13, he was 17. I explored why in my 20s in therapy. My mother was an abusive person a...
A. 9 December 2021: OP, he is stalking you.
He groomed you into a relationship that was SEXUAL when you were 13! He is still trying to manipulate you.
He takes NO responsibility for what he did when you were 13. He even made some hurtful remarks to make you feel... (read in full...)
How would you deal with this situation?
Q. I have been engaged to my fiance since August 2019 and our wedding's delayed due to COVID-19. Been together since 2014. My dad normally hasn't had a problem with him, but now he's had a problem with both me and him, and claims my fiance is mental...
A. 8 December 2021: Sounds like our resident fiction writer is back.... (read in full...)
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