This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 18 December 2017: While I don't think he would hit you, I would NOT see him at either of your homes for this conversation.
Do you really think you HAVE to meet up to break up? I get that it's a respectful way to end a relationship (to break up in person) but I do... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 17 December 2017: I can understand why you feel the way you do. Getting back "just" for Christmas is not really realistic. If it's over LET it be over.
I think getting back together will only emphasize that what he did was a "mistake" and it leaves open the door... (read in full...)
Not sure how I feel about this married man anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey all! So I've been hooking up with a married man (mid 30s, yes I know im terrible for it) for about 9 months now, but the first time we had sex, we didnt communicate or see each other for almost 3 months, like I actually thought I wouldn't see or ...
A. 14 December 2017: Maybe dear OP,
You should take some time off from dating altogether and work on WHAT you want in life. That includes your own personal standards which seem pretty flimsy.
You don't want to date guys your age - my guess because the ones you hav... (read in full...)
How do I get the power back in the relationship?
Q. Hi, I started an affair with a guy from work around 1 year ago, who actively pursued me. The relationship I was in was physically and dometically abusive and around 5 months ago after police involvement I left him and moved out on my own, which was ...
A. 14 December 2017: You never had the power with this guy, OP
But I think your primary concerns should be focussed on working on yourself, not on HOW to "snatch" a guy who is pulling away.
You JUST ended a violent and abusive relationship 5!! months ago. It's... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being brutally honest and I can't cope with it.
Q. Been dating for a year and it's the BEST relationship I've ever been in. However, he's starting to be brutally honest and I'm not liking it. I've told him how I felt, even cried and I try to avoid certain topics just because where it can lead to. He ...
A. 13 December 2017: You say he has STARTED to be brutally honest, so this is a new thing? Do you know what brought it on?
And what exactly is he "brutally honest" about?
Is he just being critical and calling it "honest"? Is it only YOU he is being "honest" with or... (read in full...)
He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.
Q. I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...
A. 13 December 2017: While I get you like him a lot, THIS is why the two of you won't last.
He says:" why can't you JUST change"... Well, WHY can't he?
He is using manipulation to get what he wants, except... you are NOT the party-girl he WANTS you to be, my guess ... (read in full...)
Hard for me to tell if he is genuine
Q. Hi everyone. I’m just asking for advice because I’ve been out of the dating game for a while and I’m not sure how to go about pursuing a relationship. Basically, my ex and I broke up in March and it took me until October to really get over him. I ...
A. 12 December 2017: I see a few red flags here... my guess is, so do you... or you wouldn't have made this post.
He says one thing but does another. RED FLAG
He is full of shit, IMHO. He claims that he is looking for a relationship with you (to your mutual frie... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty I missed hen do
Q. Hi everyone. I'm having a friendship dilemma. A close friend is no longer speaking to me because I didn't attend her hen do. I declined months prior due to the dates not being good for me - it's a month of birthdays and prior planned trips. ...
A. 11 December 2017: I think if you had NOT had plans and THEN didn't help you would have reason to feel "guilty". But you let her know in GOOD time that you were not going t be able to make it because of prior plans. HOW does that make you a bad friend?
Doing... (read in full...)
Do I owe her an apology?
Q. Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...
A. 11 December 2017: Seems like you and here are more f-buddies than a couple or even an FWB. So no, you can DO whatever you want.
If she actually saw you as her BF, she would have introduced you to the guy from work, not just a one-line greeting and then "hiding"... (read in full...)
My roommate and her boyfriend constantly hog my couch, but other than that, they're not much of a bother. Am I right in feeling irritated?
Q. I'm not sure if this is ok to ask, but I'm having issues with my roommate. I feel like I may possibly be overreacting, so tell me your thoughts. We've lived together without issues since July. However, she has a long distance boyfriend who vi...
A. 11 December 2017: Set up a schedule on who gets the couch. You get it 2 weekends of the months - she gets it two weekends of the month.
It's really that simple.
She has no clue that you are upset about this. Whether it's because SHE still has a BF or has taken ... (read in full...)
Just lost a parent and he’s gone away. Should I break up with him for this?
Q. Hi All, Just looking for some advice at what is already a confusing and low time. I’ve just lost a very close family member, a parent and I feel like my partner hasn’t been as supportive as he could. I’m not taking it well at all. We were very clo...
A. 11 December 2017: I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think you SHOULD break up with him. There is just no future here. Imagine having kids? Will they then ignore their grandkids too? Or "just" you, the mother?
He is perfectly fine with this "separation" bec... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 11 December 2017: No, OP you didn't MAKE him do what he did.
Can it be due to PTSD? Sure, but unless he is getting help for it (same with the drinking) what's the point in looking for the REASON he did it? HE made a choice (while intoxicated) to hit you.
I'm ... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 10 December 2017: Yes, I agree you didn't behave EXACTLY like him and I don't BLAME you for reacting (and for calling him a dick - because he was one) the thing is arguing with him won't fix his behavior - leaving is/was your best option. And again, I don't blame you ... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 10 December 2017: There is nothing wrong with having a male friend or being happy to see them. Your now ex-BF's jealousy is not a sign of great passion or how much he cared - it's a sign of him thinking HE should be the only man that made you smile. That is ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my girlfriend about an unwanted kiss?
Q. Hi I am a male aged 25 , I have been with my gf for almost 2 years , I am studying abroad so we are in a LDR for like a year , yesterday I went out and I was with my friend there and he talked to a girl and I was his wingman and started talking with ...
A. 10 December 2017: No, you don't HAVE to tell your GF.
You didn't go for the kiss. You did TELL her you didn't want to take it further, you didn't want her number etc. YOU did ALL the right things. The GIRL on the other hand... didn't. She wanted to push the enve... (read in full...)
I was cheated on and now feel like every man will cheat on me
Q. Basically, one year ago I ended a 3 year relationship with a guy who I figured was cheating on me. I was devastated and I think it has affected me a lot in all my relationships with people. I doubt everything anyone says to me. I recently met a guy ...
A. 10 December 2017: A few things I want to point out here, OP
1. Not EVERY guy will cheat.
2. Not EVERY guy is your ex-BF.
3. YOU didn't "make" your ex-BF cheat on you. HE made that choice. Cheating IS a choice, and not a good one.
3. Punishing EVERY guy ... (read in full...)
She's left me twice does she deserve my respect? Or do I just be her friend like nothing ever happened?
Q. Hello ladies, got a question for you, I was seeing this woman, she left me for another guy, OK, five years later we started to see each other again, she did it again, with a friend in a band, now he dumped her and she is trying to talk to me, am I ...
A. 10 December 2017: Nope, she should be on you "Oh Heck no, never again list!"
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Don't let her go for round 3, OK?
I wouldn't even pretend that she is a "friend" - an acquaintance I rather not be around. TH... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his ex and his family during Christmas?
Q. I have met the most wonderful guy ever. I have totally fallen for him after years of rubbish relationships and I love him wholeheartedly. He has a young daughter with his ex and he never gets to see her despite trying over and over to be civil wi...
A. 10 December 2017: All he needs to do is contact a lawyer/solicitor and set up a visitation schedule. IF he is paying child support/maintenance it shouldn't BE a big deal to work out a schedule. ONE parent can't set all the rules UNLESS the other has agreed to it. And ... (read in full...)
Will he always cheat on me?
Q. Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now and a month ago I caught him talking to other girls on snapchat and receiving nudes. I pulled him up on it and was going to leave him however gave him a second chance. A few days ago...
A. 10 December 2017: Yes, he is going to KEEP trying to cheat AS LONG as you KEEP dating him. He will just get better at hiding it. Come on...
"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me"
The guy is an immature twat that doesn't REALLY want a serious r... (read in full...)
A practical joke gone horribly wrong
Q. My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...
A. 10 December 2017: So Eve is ENTIRELY innocent her and you are just going to hang her out to dry so YOU don't get in trouble? Wow, selfish much? Shame on you.
Teach her a lesson - cruel much?
All I can say is I hope you and Bailey will see what happens to peopl... (read in full...)
Do you find this touching odd or it’s normal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your inputs. I’m 40 years old and just started dating 5 years after my divorce. I’m independent with a great job. I met a guy online who turned out to have some mutual friends with. He is 45, professional, ...
A. 9 December 2017: Don't have friends butt in, OP
Don't do that. Especially if there is to be a future here. These kinds of tests are no OK and juvenile.
Would YOU want someone to do that to you?
It really proves nothing.
TAKE your time getting to kno... (read in full...)
What can I do to deal with his attitude?
Q. Is my husband a narcissist? At the moment I am not working outside the home. The company I was working for went under. Even when I was working I still did 100 percent of the household chores and never once complained about doing it. If I go ou...
A. 8 December 2017: If this is how he has ALWAYS been, then this is WHO he is. And if this is who he is, he is NOT going to apologize for being himself.
He sounds like he takes you for granted and like an entitled ass (to be frank). I don't think the "‘Oh it's nic... (read in full...)
Is it OK to ask him if he's serious about me?
Q. I’m currently in a long-distance relationship. I met him last 2015 but our relationship become more interesting when he come to visit me in my country April 2017 and again Oct 2017. It is our first time to be together, it was fun and we got the c...
A. 8 December 2017: I have to agree with WiseOwlE here.
I met my now husband on a vacation. Nothing much happened physically but we did bond and enjoy each other's company. I don't think either of us thought it would lead somewhere, me perhaps less than him as he pu... (read in full...)
Troubled and confused by girlfriend and her kitten
Q. Dear all This problem is a bit strange and you may think I am weird, however this is just the way I am. I am in a long distance relationship with a girl I love very much. We have plans to be together soon. Recently she out of the blue to...
A. 8 December 2017: I would encourage her to re-home it now before she gets TOO attached. someone who gets stressed that the cat wakes her at 5 am... doesn't seem ready for the commitment of having a pet. My husband and I have cats (WAY too many lol) 2 of which were ... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 8 December 2017: Maybe your tour to Germany will give her AND you enough time to think this over.
YOU can't MAKE her want to be with you. Just because YOU changed your mind doesn't mean SHE will.
Sometimes the quote:" absence makes the heart grow fonder" is ... (read in full...)
I'm unhappily married but in love with a man who's engaged but hesitant to leave his fiance
Q. Please could I ask for some advice on my situation... I have been married for 3 years but for the last year the marriage has been very difficult and we both feel that we have grown too far apart to fix things, although haven’t yet said we will div...
A. 8 December 2017: I absolutely agree with the uncles and aunts that say - FIX your own stuff before jumping head first into something new.
You ARE using this new guy as a distraction from YOUR reality. YOUR bad marriage and YOUR meeh life.
Either fix your ... (read in full...)
On dating site for six years. Should this be a worry?
Q. I've been seeing a guy for a month and a half now. We text everyday, talk on the phone and we have been on multiple dates. Each time he is initiating it. So far things are looking spectacular! However, when I asked him how long he has been on the d...
A. 8 December 2017: Yes, you should ask him.
6 years is a LONG time to be looking. I'd be interested in how many relationships/people he hooked up within this period. Not saying he OWES you a number, but I would be curious.
If he really IS looking for lo... (read in full...)
Should I get her approval that I attend a fetish party?
Q. Im a closeted crossdreser, I'm totally straight, No bi tendencies. I have a long term wonderful girlfriend. I'm loyal to her, She knows about my crossdressing habit and she is cool with it as long as she doesn't see me dressed up. Never. This c...
A. 8 December 2017: Should you ask for her approval? I think so. But would you respect her if she said no?
Would she say yes just to try and show how "cool" a GF she is?
It seems to me that dating someone who wants NOTHING to do with what's a big part (your cross... (read in full...)
Do you find this touching odd or it’s normal?
Q. Hi, I have a question and would appreciate your inputs. I’m 40 years old and just started dating 5 years after my divorce. I’m independent with a great job. I met a guy online who turned out to have some mutual friends with. He is 45, professional, ...
A. 8 December 2017: It is a bit odd, honestly.
And I think he is trying to move this on too fast. So many people think they can create an "instant relationship" if they just rush into things. Which also means they don't pay attention to potential red flags etc.
... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 8 December 2017: OP, she might forgive you for your crass behavior, she might not. Pretty sure forgiveness isn't OWED to you.
Even if she DOES forgive, it doesn't mean she will forget or feel the same about you. You don't have a time machine you can't take bac... (read in full...)
Why the strange reaction to my bridesmaid offer?
Q. Hi Everyone :) I have a best friend who is acting strange. She recently started acting odd ever since I got engaged in August of 2017. I asked her if she would be my maid of honor? She said yes, then I met up with her at a restaurant and got...
A. 7 December 2017: I agree with N91,
Call her out on it. If she is acting like this, it might be that she resents the "responsibility" of being your MoH, she resent your hubby-to-be or she feels like saying no would be mean or rude...
Talk to her. THAT is wha... (read in full...)
Dealing with low self-esteem and body image from acne scars
Q. Hi guys, I have been dating a guy for close to 2 months. We have a great connection and i really like him. But he cares too much about physical appearance. I think I am good looking, both body and face, but have hypopigmented acne scars on my...
A. 7 December 2017: Is he totally flawless himself? I bet, he is not!
Yes, it would be stupid to BREAK up with you over acne on YOUR bum - but if he is THAT shallow do you really want to be with him? Imagine if you later get pregnant and get stretchmark or gain wei... (read in full...)
Should I leave my job even though I'm knee deep in student loan debt?
Q. I've been in advertising for about 2 years now. The work load I have have can easily be divided among 3-4 people, my pay is pathetic and myself and a few other workers were harshly reprimanded by our boss a few months ago for something we/I didn't ...
A. 7 December 2017: ALWAYS have a side job when starting a venture on your own. You can't rely on a new business to take off and be successful from the start, in some cases, it can take a year or even two to get a company on its feets.
So instead of "just" quitting... (read in full...)
I want her back but she doesn't want a relationship. How can she just walk away?
Q. So, there was this girl I met two years ago and I am in love with her (we dated and were pretty serious) . I am in the military and I was stationed in Alaska.( Where I met her, I am originally from Florida). But I hurt her and she well I left ...
A. 7 December 2017: I can see why she wants nothing to do with you, OP You were horrible to her and fickle. When the ex-gf from Florida didn't work out you thought you could just pick up where you left off with the Alaska one and when she ignored you, you STALKED her. ... (read in full...)
His daughter found my text messages to him and now he wants to cool things
Q. Hi I met a guy whom Ive known for years .. he was married before twenty years ago . He has three kids two grown up another who is eleven he lived with a woman before but didn’t work out I’ve just been seperated six months and for years I ignored ...
A. 7 December 2017: I agree with WiseOwle,
He is using his daughter as an excuse. He is old enough to tell his daughter that 1. he was seeing you and 2. that whom he dates is his choice.
I'd block him and move on. If he tries to contact you when this settles dow... (read in full...)
How do you get over the first person you were sexual with?
Q. How do you get over the first person you were sexual with? I don't understand why I am so stuck on this. My first kiss was at 17, and he was also the first guy I ever touched or let touch me. However we did not have sex. I wasn't in a relationship ...
A. 6 December 2017: I think we ALL carry people in our minds and hearts who meant something to us. Even decades later. While we perhaps idealize them as time passes they will stick with us for the rest of our lives. However, there is a difference between having fond ... (read in full...)
How can I get over this embarrassment?
Q. This boy I like knows I was spanked and now I can’t face seeing him ever again. Me and my brother got caught skipping class. Mom was so pissed she had us stay in our rooms all afternoon. When dad came home, my brother got to go down stairs but cus ...
A. 6 December 2017: I agree that spanking is not an appropriate way to discipline a child (of any age). Skipping school hurts no one but yourself, OP. You GET the opportunity to go to school to learn and have a chance at an education. Skipping school is for losers... ... (read in full...)
Jealous of our unfair treatment
Q. Before I get into it, I'm well aware of the bad rep age regressors have. I know what many of you think of us, but please just refrain from passing judgment. I've heard it all already anyway. I regress to ease anxiety, depression, the bad thoughts...
A. 6 December 2017: Honestly, OP?
What I think of people who "regress" as a coping mechanism is irrelevant. If it works for you, then it works for you.
However, it has nothing to do with my answer to you.
You are NO longer dating this guy. So what he CHOOSES ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty I cheated on my boyfriend with his boss
Q. I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 22. We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years and I’m beyond happy with him. The other night, we were fighting and I ended up leaving our apartment and just going for a drive when I stopped at the gas station and saw his ...
A. 6 December 2017: I agree with N91, you need to own your actions and accept the consequences.
Which means you NEED to tell your BF that you cheated.
Having had a fight is no excuse neither is drinking. While I do think you got carried away with the idea th... (read in full...)
I refused to trade nudes for friendship. Now what?
Q. A few months ago, a group of boys at my school saw me sitting alone, and asked if I wanted to join them. I never dared to approach them before, because I like one of them. They became my friend circle. I felt happy, hanging out with them, and b...
A. 5 December 2017: I think you give the group of boys WAY to high praise. If they are SO easily swayed to mistreat you then they aren't as great friends as you might want them to be.
Honestly? All you CAN do is hold your head up high and ignore both groups for now.... (read in full...)
How do I let go of these obsessive thoughts about his past?
Q. I have met my boyfriend last year and Im so happy with him. The only thing that bothers me is that I keep digging up the past - one day I woke up and wondered, did he really was with me and only me from day one of us knowing each other? This s...
A. 5 December 2017: It's really easy... ASK yourself EVERY time you have those thoughts... do I want to date this guy or not?
If you do - let the thought go.
If you keep this up you will lose this guy. Because everyone has limits and you keep pushing it.... (read in full...)
I'm into him and I would like to make a move! But we live together at uni, whatbif it went wrong?
Q. Simply put, me and one of my uni flatmates are into each other. He's very shy, I know he has never even kissed anybody before, and I would like to make a move so badly. We flirt, we make excuses to spend time with each other, and he does things for ...
A. 5 December 2017: You are right, it CAN go wrong. It can also go very right. If you really want to explore this I'd say go VERY VERY slow.
Get to know him better. See how much "common ground" there is. Future plans, goals, hopes, and dream can also tell you some... (read in full...)
I lost a good friend and now feel guilty
Q. Dear All I just need some advice. About 4 months ago I met a girl online as a language exchange partner. Purely platonic. We talked a lot and became really good friends. As we grew closer she said many things that made it clear she was not l...
A. 5 December 2017: Total lunatic doesn't cover it. But she was also a lunatic who KNOWS how to manipulate people for a certain outcome, except... with you it didn't work.
Someone who tells you:" DATE me NOW or lose me forever!!" Is off their rocker! And in between ... (read in full...)
I refused to trade nudes for friendship. Now what?
Q. A few months ago, a group of boys at my school saw me sitting alone, and asked if I wanted to join them. I never dared to approach them before, because I like one of them. They became my friend circle. I felt happy, hanging out with them, and b...
A. 5 December 2017: OP, that is an awfully sad story.
And I get wanting to have friends, I really do. But the boys were NOT good friends with you and the girls were trying to set you up (probably with incentive from the boys). They were trying VERY hard to get phot... (read in full...)
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