I feel I shouldn't move in til he sorts his children's visitation issue.
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now. we live separately for the moment he has his home and I have mine. He has asked me to move in his home but, I have declined at the moment for this story I will tell. he has 3 children 9,10 and 18. I have ...
A. 9 January 2018: The lawyer might go a certain route - a "let's try and do this in a gentle way" before pulling out the alienating of the dad. That part is more for a judge to hear.
The thing is that the kids at 9 and 10 (the 18 year old can do what she/he w... (read in full...)
I feel I shouldn't move in til he sorts his children's visitation issue.
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now. we live separately for the moment he has his home and I have mine. He has asked me to move in his home but, I have declined at the moment for this story I will tell. he has 3 children 9,10 and 18. I have ...
A. 4 January 2018: Honestly?
I think you need to stay out of it.
I get that you are on the side line watching all this but HE needs to DO this and HE needs to work through with a lawyer on what is BEST for the kids.
It does sound like she is using the kids an... (read in full...)
Why me? Why now?
Q. I probably sound pathetic but sometimes things get to me and usually I have no-one to talk to because no1 understands. This week I told my boyfriend I would see him this weekend we both agreed (it fits in with us both). I called him. He answered. I ...
A. 24 December 2017: "Why me? Why now?"
Maybe you need to be more critical in your choice of partners?
Someone who will ignore you because they have a bad day instead of TELLING you they are having a bad day is not very mature nor a good partner.
Make up your mi... (read in full...)
Am I a terrible person for wanting an abortion?
Q. I'm 18 in my first year at university. In week one I met this guy and we became friends, and then really close friends, spending a lot of time together and when we weren't together, talking on the phone and texting. As you can imagine, we got ...
A. 24 December 2017: Take the test.
And learn from this. I get that people don't like the "feel" of condoms but if THAT is the ONLY birth control available then don't be stupid and agree to no condoms. Pull out method is NOT a type of birth control. YOU CAN NOT rely... (read in full...)
Wil he realise what he had?
Q. Well I’m 24 and his 26. he's had relationships before but not very decent people I’m trying to belittle his ex's or I don’t see my self higher up its just a fact that he brought up many times and I know for my self. The type of girls he dated were ...
A. 24 December 2017: OP, your post is very hard to read.
But I think I get the gist of it. You need to stop being so inconsistent. You say that you don't want him to change but YOU DO!
You want him to have better friends, to value you more, spend more time with y... (read in full...)
Do I buy him a Christmas present?
Q. Hey all.. I've met a lovely guy - on tinder actually - we have had 3 dates and have both come off tinder as we have agreed we would like to see where this relationship goes. We are seeing each other again on Saturday.. but Christmas day is Monda...
A. 24 December 2017: You could find something small and Christmasy - box of cookies, little mince pies, something along those lines but nothing bigger or more personal.
It's still the getting to know you phase, so don't overdo it.
... (read in full...)
I feel I shouldn't move in til he sorts his children's visitation issue.
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now. we live separately for the moment he has his home and I have mine. He has asked me to move in his home but, I have declined at the moment for this story I will tell. he has 3 children 9,10 and 18. I have ...
A. 24 December 2017: 1. I think you are smart in using some common sense here.
2. You don't know what REALLY went down that resulted in the divorce.
3. Paying Child support is GOOD, but it doesn't mean he was a good husband and father to his family. Just say... (read in full...)
Will he wait for me to be ready?
Q. My boyfriend got his very first teaching job this fall teaching music at an elementary school. I always knew he would be a great teacher, he loves kids and music is his passion. We met last year in university; he is two years older and kind of ...
A. 24 December 2017: I think there is more to this than just what family and friends say. You ACTUALLY think that these ELEMENTARY kids and women who gush over him online will automatically make him want to cheat?
I think the DISTANCE is more likely to make him want... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my narcissistic friend?
Q. I hope you can give me some insight into a friendship I had since college. Thank you! I feel as if I'm only just waking up and realizing that this friend of mine is actually a narcissist. Am I being subjective? When we were younger, I someho...
A. 23 December 2017: Some people are friends for life, some for a time and some for a season.
I think she is used to working angles and network both with coworkers and friends. It might BE that she isn't GOOD at getting the "invites" but she is good at the "hustle"... (read in full...)
I am never approached by men
Q. I am about to turn 23 in a year and I have never ever been approached by any guy anywhere before in my life nor have I ever dated anyone. I know it is not due to my weight because I am thin and petite (some people tell me that I even look as young ...
A. 23 December 2017: If you sit in your hand and WAIT for men to approach you, you will probably NOT be approached by the men you are interested in.
Being hit on by loads of men isn't an accomplishment or life-skill.
Being able to converse, chat and even better ... (read in full...)
Playing truth or dare .... I didnt like his answer.
Q. I’ve been talking to this boy he’s in the same year as me but in a different school and tonight we were playing truth or dare I asked him what the most he had done with a girl is and he said he wants to take it back but he’s fingered someone.Ohhh ...
A. 23 December 2017: I'm not sure what it was about his answer you didn't like but here is the thing. You might find that he has done stuff you find too "advanced" for you age or gross that he did this with someone that wasn't YOU. Either way, I think it might be a ... (read in full...)
The men I’m attracted to never like me back!
Q. Ok so my problem is quite straightforward - the men I’m attracted to never like me back! I don’t know maybe my standards are too high, but how do I change that? I’ve tried all of the usual advice, including dating different types of men; focusing...
A. 22 December 2017: It could be that you actually come across as not interested (if you are tongue tied) when you feel attraction. As for that. well it's part of who you are. It's not something you can easily change - you could try and fake it but that will create ... (read in full...)
The men I’m attracted to never like me back!
Q. Ok so my problem is quite straightforward - the men I’m attracted to never like me back! I don’t know maybe my standards are too high, but how do I change that? I’ve tried all of the usual advice, including dating different types of men; focusing...
A. 21 December 2017: Well, how realistic is your "list"?
I get that some people have these comprehensive "lists" of traits or whatnot, that a partner NEED to possess but I have SEEN in person how that just doesn't work in reality. I had a very good friend who h... (read in full...)
Should I end it with my bed buddy or fight for him?
Q. This is kind of a long story... I've had this weird on-again, off-again thing with this guy for two years. I wouldn't call him a friend; just a bed buddy. We'd meet up once or twice every month or two just to hook up and then we wouldn't talk un...
A. 21 December 2017: There is no future here.
I know that is not what you want to hear, but let's take a peek at reality.
It's been 2 years but hasn't progressed past f-buddies. You told him how you felt and he went off to sleep with other women. You decided that... (read in full...)
How do I stay out of friends argument?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, two if my dear friends had a fight, I stayed out of it. The one who's in the wrong keeps insisting I take her side, the one who's right is glad I'm out of it. I keep telling the one who's insistent that I like them both an...
A. 20 December 2017: You can stay Switcherland forever. That is just not how life works. I get that you don't want part of their drama, but you ARE allowed an opinion. And you can then choose to share or NOT share this opinion.
If the one who WANTS you to join in ... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 20 December 2017: The reason HE has drama at work is his own doing.
He is the supervisor and shouldn't be trying to hit on his female staff or look for romance at work.
This is what happens when people think the workplace is a dating pool. When people aren't in... (read in full...)
An older man wants me to move in as a live in lover.
Q. hi im kinda thinking about maybe accepting this proposal to be this guys full time sort of live in lover.He was the one who suggested it would make him a kinda suger daddy. He seems very nice (we have met on 3 occasions now and althogh i manage...
A. 20 December 2017: Jackie, are you a prostitute? Or should I ask it like this, DO you want to be a prostitute?
Because that is what you are doing. The whole notion of a "sugar daddy" (gagging and choking here) is for an older guy to BUY a younger woman. To "rent" h... (read in full...)
Husband is cheating, wants me to leave the marital home.
Q. Hi, I hope you can give me some advice. My husband of 19 years asked for a divorce in April this year, straight after I finished treatment for breast cancer. There has been no intimacy for 2 years now. He has refused to leave the family home ...
A. 20 December 2017: Talk to a lawyer/solicitor/legal advice.
While he might PAY the rent for you to live elsewhere, you can (in some countries (not sure about Australia)) lose the right to ANY money on the house if you leave. So GET legal advice.
Secondly, sel... (read in full...)
I'm crushing on my ex's brother, his partner is my friend
Q. I no this might sound really bad. But I am so confused right now!! I split with my ex over 3 years ago we have a child together. I have stayed close with his brother and with The brothers current partner. Me and the brother have always been flirty ...
A. 20 December 2017: You know what to do. I'm just not sure you WANT to do what's right.
But, I will leave that up to you.
From where I stand you are enjoying the flirting and you see it as harmless - even though it ISN'T banter. It's DISRESPECTFUL to his partner a... (read in full...)
Did this Married Man forget his former mistress already?
Q. I dated a Married Man (MM) for a year and a half. We both worked at my dad’s office. He got caught by his wife 3 times but never left me. The 3rd time he got caught things got pretty bad. He started going to counseling and distanced himself from me. ...
A. 19 December 2017: Does it matter? In the long run?
He obviously wants nothing to do with you. He probably blames YOU for his "getting fired" and "marital drama" even though he was as much in charge of making really piss-poor life choices as you were.
Except,... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 19 December 2017: I think Woman B should ACCEPT this is NOT a guy worth pursuing. WHY would any woman of substance and quality CHASE after a man who is CLEARLY not into her but into another woman?
It's not High School anymore.
Look for love OUTSIDE of the w... (read in full...)
Still mising him two years on
Q. What is making me cling to memories of my ex? He dumped me two years ago. He abruptly ended the relationship (after months of dating he broke up over text) basically I didn’t fit his schedule and needs anymore and he disregarded me. Obviou...
A. 19 December 2017: Maybe it's because you are so busy beating yourself up over a guy who clearly wasn't a good match?
Just because you were nice and accommodating doesn't mean you two were a good match long term. It doesn't mean he took advantage either. He probably... (read in full...)
Do you think he cares that I don't call him so often?
Q. Dear cupid, I like this guy over 5 years now we talk on the phone I call him he never calls me i think the headache don't call me because I have to use my next door phone and he knows her they use to work to getther I use to call once ever week ...
A. 19 December 2017: You could ask him?
My question to you is, why are you talking to someone on the phone only? Is this a sort of friendship? Like a pen-pal but with weekly calls instead of letters?
And why do you need to use your neighbor's phone?... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 19 December 2017: Why do I say he is unavailable? Because of the immature games, he is playing.
He wants one girl but can't have her, so he uses her to make the other girl feel like she has to step up and try harder - but the guy doesn't really WANT to second g... (read in full...)
He wants sex 2 times a day or more!
Q. I started seeing a mew guy. I really really like him. Hes very very affectionate which i love. However, he wants sex/relief twice a day, sometimes even more! The other day he woke me at 3am to have sex, but in the morning he wanted it again. Every ...
A. 19 December 2017: I think YOU need to set boundaries.
Honestly? I nym 20's I might not have resented a partner waking me at 3 am for sex (unless I had to be up at 6 am and needed my sleep) but... In my 30's and now in my 40's? I'd shut that down fast.
So my a... (read in full...)
Helping spouse pay their child support
Q. I currently work 2 full time jobs, in order to pay off debt. I pay all the bills. My husband works a construction job and pays his car note, child support, and takes care of personal expenses. Now he has fallen behind on child support payments and ...
A. 19 December 2017: I think since you carry ALL the bills it's MORE than fair that you do NOT pay his child support as well.
I would suggest instead that he sits down and makes a budget and then talk to Child Support Services (might even have to look for a lawyer -... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but want to know how long I'll last when I have sex
Q. Greetings. I'm a virgin and and am thinking of me being able to last very long. Is it possible to know how long I can do it without doing sex as yet? As masturbation is not the same as cohabitation. Thanks a lot. May we all be guided in both l...
A. 18 December 2017: What Ciar said,
There is no way of knowing how long you will last. What is always a good thing for a first time (and consequent times) it to ensure that your partner is pleasured THOUGHROUGHLY before you "get" yours. If you focus on them FIRST it... (read in full...)
Would a guy settle for one woman if he can't have another?
Q. A guy complained that girl A does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has becoming closer to girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like the...
A. 18 December 2017: Woman (not girl) A needs to grow the F up - she is still mentally in Highschool and it's sad. I think she is enjoying that the moron of a man is using HER as ammo and fodder to torment Woman B.
Woman B needs her head examined as she is chasing ... (read in full...)
My ex is living with his partner but confessing to love me. Is he playing games?
Q. I split with my partner two years ago. He gets in contact every few months to say he misses me etc. Not long after we split (he ended the relationship) he met someone else. He’s confessed it was a rebound. Last month he told me that I’m the only ...
A. 18 December 2017: Oh, OP
He DEFINITELY is playing you. He has settled into a routine with this newer woman (rebound or not is irrelevant) and he is a bit bored. So by contacting you and laying it on THICK, he is hoping you might drop your knickers o occasion... (read in full...)
Why do people question that we are just friends?
Q. I have a male friend who is one of my closest friends and we’ve known each other about a year and a half. Earlier this year I met his girlfriend and we too have since become friends. I socialise with them as a couple and individually. There’s n...
A. 18 December 2017: Yes, men and women can be friends.
And some men and women CAN'T.
I would ask the NEXT person who asks, why on Earth they think that you are/were a couple. See what they say.
Personally though, if the GF is OK with the friendship, who care... (read in full...)
Signs he is a compulsive liar? what the heck is that attitude after breakup?
Q. Hey everyone, So I broke up with my bf about 1 month and a half ago. I am 22, he is 25. We had been together for 1 year and a half. We met as international students (in Australia, I was exchange student and he was studying engineering ther...
A. 18 December 2017: My thoughts?
YOU dodged a crazy bullet!! Be GLAD you found out about all these badly woven web of lies now instead of later. Someone who can't JUST break up with you - without having to "kill off" his dad and make his step-mom/mom sick - is a sic... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 18 December 2017: While I don't think he would hit you, I would NOT see him at either of your homes for this conversation.
Do you really think you HAVE to meet up to break up? I get that it's a respectful way to end a relationship (to break up in person) but I do... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 17 December 2017: I can understand why you feel the way you do. Getting back "just" for Christmas is not really realistic. If it's over LET it be over.
I think getting back together will only emphasize that what he did was a "mistake" and it leaves open the door... (read in full...)
Is there a chance my crush likes me back?
Q. There is a guy nice guy at my church and I liked him the monent I saw him but he had a girlfriend and I back off which was a year ago and forgot about him. Me and him are in the same weekly church group but never really talked much Recently I had...
A. 16 December 2017: Why not initiate some small chats with him?
Touching legs/arm when sitting in church doesn't mean much. But for him to NOT move away might mean he is OK with it or that he just doesn't read more into it.
It's much easier to see if he could be i... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 16 December 2017: So let them both go.
STRIVE to be a better person. Talking smack about so-called friends is not the way to go. If you have issues with friends or loved ones you go STRAIGHT to the "horse's mouth", not behind their back.
LEARN from this. That ... (read in full...)
How do I act with this coworker?
Q. How do I act with my coworker- a little background -when I started working for this law firm I noticed that me and one of the senior lawyer were attracted to each other BUT he is married. Although I would never push the envelope I do notice he might ...
A. 16 December 2017: Just be polite and professional. Whether he "likes" you or not or you "like" him is ABSOLUTELY irrelevant. Even if he is looking for a fling or whatnot, don't fall for it.
This is your WORKPLACE! Where you EAR your living, not the local watering... (read in full...)
My wife wants an open relationship, I don't
Q. My wife insists on a open relationship for her but not for me. I am very resentful about this but she says its this or nothing. I love her but I am going nuts....
A. 16 December 2017: Yep, I'm with YouWish
I'd call her bluff and say "or nothing." If she still insists.... maybe it's time to file for divorce. You can't MAKE her want to work on the marriage but you can decide if you are willing to give up your own standard... (read in full...)
I love him and want to be his but I don't want to get hurt
Q. So I started dating this guy I never though I’d be with and fell in love with him and he fell in love with me. We had the best relationship. Well he joined the military a year after dating and I decided I was going to support him, that my love for ...
A. 15 December 2017: When he comes to visit just HANG out - NO sex. If he isn't REALLY looking to commit to you again then DO NOT have sex.
It IS very true that rumors of cheating partners increase around deployments. I remember my husband told me of this notice b... (read in full...)
What is a normal amount of sex?
Q. Im 30 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. We don't have any kids. How much sex would be 'normal'? Id say on average we probably do it twice a month. ...
A. 15 December 2017: I don't think there is a "normal" average, but... For me personally... it sounds low.
However, if this works for the two of you, then it works. If you aren't feeling fulfilled (sexually) or your partner is not feeling fulfilled, you two need to ... (read in full...)
My female friend said she had an "inappropriate" dream about me. What could it be?
Q. A friend of the opposite gender brought something up. We were talking about dreams, all sorts of dreams, and then she said 'I had a dream about you recently'. I asked what the dream was about and then after a long pause she responded with 'it's ...
A. 15 December 2017: I agree, probably sexual.
I agree with Chigirl, next time just ask - was it a good dream or bad?
... (read in full...)
Is this my motherhood talking or would I have changed my mind as I grew older anyway?
Q. I have a daughter who will soon become a teenager. (they grow up sooo fast!). My sister commented that we'll soon have some dating-drama in the house. Which made me think of my teenage and young adult years. What would I do as a mother if my dau...
A. 15 December 2017: I have 3 teenage daughters so I get the whole train of thought. All I can say is TALK to her, be open to listening to her (and TRY not to judge too harshly but give her advice that can help HER make the best choices for her).
Not all older gu... (read in full...)
I'm doing all the work in the relationship!
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 months now. I really love him and feel like he could possible be the one to walk into my future with. He carries a lot of baggage in regards to sexual abuse, drug abuse and so on. He is taking anti-depressants ...
A. 14 December 2017: I absolutely agree with YouWish,
He is in NO condition to be in a relationship. He SIMPLY isn't a place where he can GIVE anything. So he takes, takes and takes because he has NOTHING to give.
He isn't in a healthy place mind, body or soul. wh... (read in full...)
Not sure how I feel about this married man anymore, what should I do?
Q. Hey all! So I've been hooking up with a married man (mid 30s, yes I know im terrible for it) for about 9 months now, but the first time we had sex, we didnt communicate or see each other for almost 3 months, like I actually thought I wouldn't see or ...
A. 14 December 2017: Maybe dear OP,
You should take some time off from dating altogether and work on WHAT you want in life. That includes your own personal standards which seem pretty flimsy.
You don't want to date guys your age - my guess because the ones you hav... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 11 December 2017: No, OP you didn't MAKE him do what he did.
Can it be due to PTSD? Sure, but unless he is getting help for it (same with the drinking) what's the point in looking for the REASON he did it? HE made a choice (while intoxicated) to hit you.
I'm ... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 10 December 2017: Yes, I agree you didn't behave EXACTLY like him and I don't BLAME you for reacting (and for calling him a dick - because he was one) the thing is arguing with him won't fix his behavior - leaving is/was your best option. And again, I don't blame you ... (read in full...)
This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?
Q. Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...
A. 10 December 2017: There is nothing wrong with having a male friend or being happy to see them. Your now ex-BF's jealousy is not a sign of great passion or how much he cared - it's a sign of him thinking HE should be the only man that made you smile. That is ... (read in full...)
Triangle friendship double cross!
Q. Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...
A. 20 November 2017: You can't fix this.
You were a crappy crappy friend to Sam and I'm not surprised she cut you off.
Sorry, but you don't go around and talk smack about your "so-called" friends behind their back, you should have found other subjects. Making... (read in full...)
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