Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...
A. 10 January 2018:
If you try something (sexual or otherwise) and you don't enjoy it, it's not something you need to KEEP trying in order to keep a BF.
I can't imagine expecting a guy to go down on me if he really didn't like it.
Sometimes we find that giving ... (read in full...)
His email to his brother hurts more than his affair
Q. My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...
A. 10 January 2018: Is this really the man you see yourself grow old with? Someone who shows so little respect for you, and the marriage?
As for why he is pretending it never happened, well it's MUCH easier than taking RESPONSIBILITY for his actions.
The LONGER yo... (read in full...)
Did I speak out of turn?
Q. Hello. My friend has a son and downplays his eating habits. It’s not serious according to her as it’s just a learning disability. He is 10 years old and only eats fast food, usually French fries, pastries or chicken tenders. I’ve seen this almost ...
A. 10 January 2018: Plenty of studies suggest that children (especially) DO NOT benefit from "fast food" because it is over saturated in all things our bodies do not need not can process.
I watch a 3 year old who is the most picky eater I have ever met. His mom NEVE... (read in full...)
I feel too shamed to talk to my family
Q. Sorry this is a lot but I need to get it off my chest as its too shameful to tell my family and friends. I met an ex vet on Instagram. We fell in love through each others art. He lives in the US and I live in the UK. There is a 20 year age gap betw...
A. 10 January 2018: Dear, OP
YOU need to wake up and smell the coffee. The guy is FULL of shit and is hoping for a meal ticket, especially if he is owing 60K in child-support.
There is no future with this guy. He is the kind who will create drama to throw you off... (read in full...)
I feel stuck,I know I love him but don't know if I can trust him.
Q. I’ll spare the gory details, but I dated this guy for about 9 months (September ‘16 - Jun ‘17). It was the happiest relationship of my life. I was the first to say I love you (which I’ve never done before) about 6 months in; he said it, then took it ...
A. 10 January 2018: I think your expectations are not in sync with him at all. You WANT things from him he isn't quite ready to share, you can't FORCE that from someone else. Even more so he didn't entire "get" what you wanted, which is why I think he fumbled with it. ... (read in full...)
The conversation will revolve around babies, should I suck it up and go?
Q. I am a happily married 37 yo childfree woman. Next sunday two friends of my hubby - invited us to lunch. His pals are both married, so we’re talking about lunch with two couples. One couple has a three year old very lively boy and another has just...
A. 10 January 2018: Have you tried changing the subject?
I think it's PRETTY normal for pregnant women and women who recently had kids to talk A LOT about kids. It's a natural progression. Because the kids become the center of their universe.
BUT that doesn't mea... (read in full...)
Should I confront my soon to be ex husband about his girlfriend from another country?
Q. Been married 18 years and my husband asked for a divorce 9 months ago. We are both still living in the marital home awaiting property settlement in a few weeks time. The situation is very stressful and toxic for me. We both have lawyers ...
A. 10 January 2018: What good will the confrontation do YOU?
All it will do is give him power. He doesn't CARE. And he will continue to gaslight you and lie to you.
All you can REALLY do is start getting your ducks in a row. Make sure you have a place you can af... (read in full...)
My gf wants to learn salsa dance and I hate it. How to say no
Q. Hi. I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now. I'm planning to propose soon but there's is something thas is making me reevaluate my relationship. I took her once to a latin club where salsa music is played and she absolute...
A. 9 January 2018: Honestly?
My group of friends did Salsa dancing for over a year, it was the "hot new thing" back then lol and most of the time you danced with absolute strangers but there are still rules. And it's fun.
So what that she has found a hobby YO... (read in full...)
Should my 65 year old mother try online dating?
Q. Hi , Thanks for always being helpful. My mom is 65 years old. My father passed away ten years ago. My mom feel very lonely. I do my best to spend time with her but still she feel lonely. I advice her to date someone. She is happy with my idea. Bu...
A. 9 January 2018: Honestly?
I would look more for meetup groups in her "age group" - what hobbies does she have?
There are plenty of activity groups for over 50+ it's just a matter of finding one SHE likes.
My guess is she is more looking for company rath... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 9 January 2018: I get you OP,
I think we all understand where you are coming from. The thing is, IF you keep trying to TELL him what HE can do, WHO he can hang out with you will lose him. You ARE dating him, and not his group of friends. Right?
As for him th... (read in full...)
My best friend and the boy she knows I like ....
Q. Hi,I really need help with this one... Okay so I suppose this issue started about 2 years ago, when I first this friend of mine, over time our friendship developed and he was someone I felt comfortable with. Then at the start of this year, I stupid...
A. 9 January 2018: I think your friend is a crappy girl and this guy? Slimy as an eel. Eww.
He KNEW before you two hooked up that you liked him more than he liked you - all those excuses and apologies AFTER... means nothing.
A person don't go from REALLY not ... (read in full...)
I found my best friends sex tape online
Q. This is unbelievable. There is a girl I’ve been friends with since we were two years old, and we are now 24. I recently found a video of her on a porn site (one of my friends who met her at a party sent me a link saying it looked like her). It 10...
A. 9 January 2018: Honestly? this is a hard one.
You can either create an anonymous e-mail account and send her the link. (to the porn)
Why? Because if you tell her she might feel absolutely uncomfortable that you KNOW and have SEEN this.
OR you can call... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doest take care of herself and has no ambition
Q. Is it me? Is it her? Are we fizzling. I feel like my gf of 4 yrs doesn't make effort. Everytime we are going out we isn't putting effort in. I don't mind until I realised its everyday. In my family my mum and sisters always make sure they presen...
A. 9 January 2018: You know, OP?
She might not be a good state herself, she might know she is not at her best but she can't seem to care or motivate herself. Not even for you.
This is not likely going to change. Having no ambitions is not something that h... (read in full...)
I feel I shouldn't move in til he sorts his children's visitation issue.
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now. we live separately for the moment he has his home and I have mine. He has asked me to move in his home but, I have declined at the moment for this story I will tell. he has 3 children 9,10 and 18. I have ...
A. 9 January 2018: The lawyer might go a certain route - a "let's try and do this in a gentle way" before pulling out the alienating of the dad. That part is more for a judge to hear.
The thing is that the kids at 9 and 10 (the 18 year old can do what she/he w... (read in full...)
Is it too late, should I move on?
Q. I really need some advise. There's a guy at work who I have a big crush on or maybe more. I know dating coworkers its a bad idea, most of the time. So I was trying not to put attention to him. At the beginning I noticed him and liked him right away ...
A. 8 January 2018: EDIT:
I would try to gain his attention again.
Should have been...
I wouldn't try to gain his attention again.
LOL Darn darn autocorrect........... (read in full...)
How can I have sex without feelings?
Q. Why can’t I handle intimate relationships? When I get intimate with a man it’s like my power and common sense go away I feel so weak and vulnerable. I look at my ex”s pics on social media after a year and a half and I see him with another woman and ...
A. 8 January 2018: You wait with the sex until there is a solid foundation and a exclusive relationship.
You can't turn emotions on and off at will. That isn't "normal".
Women (more than men) tend to bond over sex. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to be "stup... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!
Q. I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...
A. 8 January 2018: Why do you need proof?
Reading your post it's pretty obvious that you have decided he IS cheating.
You don't OWE him proof, he doesn't OWE you proof either. Now if we were talking someone you were married too, then yes I get the whole "get p... (read in full...)
Is it too late, should I move on?
Q. I really need some advise. There's a guy at work who I have a big crush on or maybe more. I know dating coworkers its a bad idea, most of the time. So I was trying not to put attention to him. At the beginning I noticed him and liked him right away ...
A. 8 January 2018: Maybe he has come to the conclusion that dating coworkers is not a good idea, OR he isn't interested at all.
I would try to gain his attention again. If you are looking to date, look outside your work place.... (read in full...)
My best friend seems to want to end our friendship
Q. I've been friendly with my pal David for over 30 years. He drives a taxi for private hire for a living.I provide computer fixing services. A month ago, for the first time ever, he referred a customer of his to me who had a computer problem. The...
A. 8 January 2018: I too would reach out and have a chat.
He might feel a bond with this old lady or just have soft spot for her - doesn't mean you are now at her beck and call, you have a business to run.
So talk to him. If he can't see your point of view th... (read in full...)
Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...
A. 8 January 2018: Well, if he breaks up over this, isn't it better?
You don't like doing it and he wants it. It seems to mean you two aren't quite on the same page.
The LAST thing you should do is giving BJ if you absolutely don't want to, JUST to keep a BF.
... (read in full...)
He ended it after 15 years and I can't move on
Q. hi my name is carol and upto 3 years ago i was havein an afair it lasted 15years but one day he said he couldet see me any more but never realy said why i was deversteted and still am thort after all them years i desevred better i still miss him and ...
A. 8 January 2018: Sorry, OP
1. STOP looking at his Facebook (and that of his family & friends) it's NOT going to help you move on.
2. Accept some culpability here. YOU were part of an affair, which means HE was the married partner - which in turns mean HE wa... (read in full...)
He's got a girlfriend, should I wait and see if it works out?
Q. Over 3 years ago, I met a guy in college who I began dating. We were both about 20. He is great and is a total sweetheart. We met and began dating in the summer 3 years ago. After our first date, he would always text and call, but was a little slow ...
A. 7 January 2018: You know this "thing" has been going on for 3 years but neither of you have taken ACTIVE steps to make it happen. So far it's all fantasy and make-believe.
If he was SO into you he wouldn't be dating his ex-GF again. For him to still give their re... (read in full...)
My husband raised a boy as his own, but now he is 19 I don't want him included in our family!
Q. Hi Just need a bit of advice...my husband met a woman who already had a child 17 years ago. My husband then helped bring him up, however when this child become 13/14 he came into a lot of trouble and trouble has followed him since. Oliver no...
A. 7 January 2018: I think you have to talk to your partner and see where he actually stands on this issue.
I don't blame you for not wanting this around your little family any more. We ALL have limits.
If your partner still wants to be there for the kid, well th... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!
Q. I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...
A. 7 January 2018: If you have already made up your mind that he is cheating, WHY waste any more time on this fella?
The longer you spend on a "bad" match to bigger the chance of missing a "good" one.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home
Q. My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...
A. 7 January 2018: Well, I guess it's better you find this out now before marriage and kids.
If I were you I'd start looking to get all my ducks in a row and move out.
That he think he can compare cooking to paying bills is just beyond me, it's stupid "logic" t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!
Q. Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...
A. 7 January 2018: You are both so young, and you NEED to either TRUST him or cut him lose.
If you have been together for 5 years he knows what he stands to lose by cheating (if that is what you worry about) while away.
Why don't YOU go on a vacation with a ... (read in full...)
I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!
Q. I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...
A. 7 January 2018: I don't understand why you didn't just BLOCK and move on the moment you felt you HAD to drive by his house.
I'm sorry that isn't NORMAL in a relationship to do "drive by's" if they don't answer a text. That seems utterly unhealthy.
And I a... (read in full...)
Did my friend hook me up with a player?
Q. I am confused and need help to make up my mind and deal with my dented ego. A very good man friend hooked me up with his bestie. He knows us both very well. My friend is a very decent guy, he knows me since I was 11 and would not hook me up just ...
A. 7 January 2018: He will tell you when available?
WTF kind of excuse is that?
Honestly... I'd move on. If something was up and VERY important he could have picked up the phone and told you. After all he could have sex with you so saying a few words of what's ... (read in full...)
I feel embarrassed and stupid about the party!
Q. My boyfriend invited me to his friends party. I don’t know too many of his friends but he really wanted me to go so I went. We got to the party and he sat across the table from me and talked to his friends and took shots with his friends while I sat ...
A. 7 January 2018: Why the need to overact?
Why not simply BE honest and tell that you are disappointed that he didn't try and make you feel more welcome and to introduce you to him friends, that you felt unwelcome and uncomfortable.
Maybe next, you can put down... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't treat me like an equal partner and expects me to slog at home
Q. My partner and I have been together for seven years, engaged for two. It’ll be two years this coming April since we bought a house together, he is in the military and I work full time in banking. Unfortunately, I’m starting to resent him with ...
A. 7 January 2018: Let's look at it this way.
The house is in HIS name, right? So IF you two split it would be his? Correct? (yes, I know common law marriage exist and the common law system provides that property acquired by one member of a married couple is owned... (read in full...)
Any chance he will come back?
Q. We dated for 6 months and our releationship was very passionate.He broke up with me because of his depression as he later explained.Then after 5 months he texted me asking for a second chance promising he would not repeat the same mistakes and i ...
A. 6 January 2018: I hope he doesn't try and date you again.
Not because there is anything wrong with you, you sound lovely. But... because HE isn't in a place (mentally) where dating is something he has energy for.
You are 16-17? So you will learn (over time... (read in full...)
What's the deal with my incredibly rude, passive aggressive new flatmate?
Q. I've been living in this place since October as I lived with my friends for the summer but it was in a dodgy area. I initially lived with two European girls but they had to move back to their home country due to their company transferring them over. ...
A. 6 January 2018: I don't know what your deal it.
SHE is a stranger, a roommate, not a partner or playmate for you.
If she hasn't bought any food and isn't eating yours, so what? She is old enough to live on her own, so she is old enough to make sure she ha... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend not allow me to perform oral sex on her?
Q. My GF and I have been dating for 3 years. Our sex life is very good and frequent. The question I have is she will do anything in the bedroom with me except allowing me to go down on her. I have asked her many times as to why and she said she doesn't ...
A. 6 January 2018: If she isn't a fan of oral, respect it. Don't push her to do things (especially in the bedroom) that makes her uncomfortable or overly self conscious. Why? Because it RUINS sex for her.
Use your fingers instead. Do erotic massages... USE your ima... (read in full...)
New girfriend wants marriage .... I don't!
Q. Simple situation, I've recently walked out on a 18 year marriage, we've lived apart or part-time for the last 2 years. We have no children, fury babies only. She has the lions share of income and I was not satisfied in our relationship, we simply ...
A. 6 January 2018: You need to be honest with your new partner.
While a new woman is NOT going to be like your soon-to-be-ex-wife, if marriage is NOT something you want BE upfront.
Seems like this young lady is more of a rebound for you. Did you think because sh... (read in full...)
We met online a week ago and already love each other
Q. I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...
A. 6 January 2018: Yep, this is not love, OP
This is a mix of chemistry, infatuation and lust. BE honest with yourself. I get that having someone interested in you and wanting you is QUITE intoxicating, you have ONLY known each other a week - YOU do NOT (I repeat) ... (read in full...)
My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.
Q. I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. ...
A. 6 January 2018: Again, choose neither.
You and your ex-BF didn't work out. There is a reason for that.
Your current and you aren't working out either, so end it. And end it nicely (don't offer friendship or anything like that just let him know you don't feel y... (read in full...)
I am worried about oral sex and hygiene
Q. I've been in a relationship for a while now. She's coming over for the weekend. This will be the first time we'll be alone together in a private place. We've talked about being physical and we're both ready for it. I want to please her sexually. ...
A. 5 January 2018: Honey...
YOU pee out of your dick but I bet you would have no problem with HER putting that in her mouth, right?
If the notion of licking someone's clit, labia and outer part o the vagina - USE clingfilm as a barrier. And put a condom on when... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my drunken night?
Q. I went out last night and got really drunk. A guy grabbed me and started kissing me and feeling me up and without thinking I started kissing him back. Then he said he would help to get me home safely but he got out of the taxi too and we ended up ...
A. 5 January 2018: I'm with N91,
YOU cheated, drunk or not, you need to own up to what you did and what happened.
If your BF then decides he can't continue dating you, you take that as a lesson in life. Don't get so drunk you don't CARE what you are doing. I hav... (read in full...)
Are my husband's conditions unfair?
Q. My husband's conditions for our marriage were that I would never talk to men online ever (including my male cousins, childhood friends who were like my brothers and gay male friends), that I would cut off contact with all my male friends in real ...
A. 5 January 2018: I agree with Denizen,
YOU agreed to these (honestly ridiculous) rules, so you SHOULD honor them. It doesn't matter that the guy is queer or not interested in you sexually. If you have AGREED to not talking to other men, then you don't. Simple a... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling inadequate?
Q. Ever since I was little, I was always in my older siblings shadow. I've healed a lot, but I still find myself inadequate compared to their successes despite having my own. I was always compared, sibling has a better social life, higher education, ...
A. 5 January 2018: I totally understand how you feel, but I would TRY and look at it from a different perspective. When your parents rave about your siblings, it's probably more out of PRIDE (in their offspring) rather than wanting to put you down.
My dad and I ta... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants sex on demand, what about what I want?
Q. I love my boyfriend we been together nearly a year but he always wants sex in the morning and I just don't and if I don't have it when he wants he gets into a strop all day and just walks off and if we go out he will just walk miles in front of me ...
A. 5 January 2018: Since talking to him doesn't seem to work, maybe you need to consider that the compatibility just isn't there.
A guy who ONLY thinks of getting HIS rocks off, who throws fits when you are not feeling up to sex - that's a BAD fit for you. (for any... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling inadequate?
Q. Ever since I was little, I was always in my older siblings shadow. I've healed a lot, but I still find myself inadequate compared to their successes despite having my own. I was always compared, sibling has a better social life, higher education, ...
A. 4 January 2018: We all have things we are good at.
My older brother is WAY more successful than I ever was, he had WAY more drive and ambition. He was always better at sports. We both have decent amount of education. I have two bachelors, he has a masters.... (read in full...)
I feel I shouldn't move in til he sorts his children's visitation issue.
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now. we live separately for the moment he has his home and I have mine. He has asked me to move in his home but, I have declined at the moment for this story I will tell. he has 3 children 9,10 and 18. I have ...
A. 4 January 2018: Honestly?
I think you need to stay out of it.
I get that you are on the side line watching all this but HE needs to DO this and HE needs to work through with a lawyer on what is BEST for the kids.
It does sound like she is using the kids an... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants sex on demand, what about what I want?
Q. I love my boyfriend we been together nearly a year but he always wants sex in the morning and I just don't and if I don't have it when he wants he gets into a strop all day and just walks off and if we go out he will just walk miles in front of me ...
A. 3 January 2018: I think your BF have been through relationships where the sex died and he doesn't want ANOTHER relationship without sex... However, his behavior is KILLING your desire for sex with him, stone dead.
I would tell him that. While sex is a huge par... (read in full...)
My ex still loves me but I don't want to hurt my current boyfriend.
Q. I suddenly met my ex in a wedding a month ago. He still loves me the same and love me though he know I'm in a new relationship. He always treated me a way far better than my present one. I don't want to hurt anyone. But I'm stuckedin between two. ...
A. 1 January 2018: If your current BF isn't a good BF, then end it.
Then take some time being single. There are PLENTY of more guys out there for you NOT to recycle exes.... (read in full...)
I feel I shouldn't move in til he sorts his children's visitation issue.
Q. I have been dating my bf for 2 years now. we live separately for the moment he has his home and I have mine. He has asked me to move in his home but, I have declined at the moment for this story I will tell. he has 3 children 9,10 and 18. I have ...
A. 24 December 2017: 1. I think you are smart in using some common sense here.
2. You don't know what REALLY went down that resulted in the divorce.
3. Paying Child support is GOOD, but it doesn't mean he was a good husband and father to his family. Just say... (read in full...)
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