Why does my partner bring up my ex?
Q. Why does my partner bring up my ex? This will happen if she wishes to upset me in an arguement or even from right out of nowhere; which can be particularly problematic. I have told my partner that I really dont want to talk about her. I have reas...
A. 29 January 2018: Focus on your health OP
Maybe she just don't WANT to not create drama. Some people feed on that and she KNOWS what drama she can get if she brings up exes.
I'd probably tell her to stay away while you recover, it will give you time to regain y... (read in full...)
I feel I owe this married man an apology
Q. Hello Aunts, I met this man sometime in 2015 when i was on a temporal job in another state in the country. He is Married with a son. When we first met, he was attracted to me and we pretty get along so well. He dropped hints about dating me bu...
A. 20 January 2018: Even if all you want is a "sex mate" - chose one that is SINGLE so you don't go around hurting other people (like a wife or partner).
Want a bit more for yourself.... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 20 January 2018: Just ask him to meet at the nearest Starbucks (or whatnot that is close to your house or work) so you can get the ring.
When you show up, get the ring, wish him well in his endeavors, BE ALL smiles, and GTFO. Don't take the time to listen to sad l... (read in full...)
Boyfriend shows no respect
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we have been practically living together since day one. First off he is a total momma's boy, which I have no problem with. But I know he will never out me first before her. My problem is that he ...
A. 20 January 2018: So why are you with him?
While I don't THINK he should put you above his mom in priority - after all you have known him 8 months, SHE his whole life. And that should never be a competition anyways.
But for someone to TREAT you like you are the... (read in full...)
I feel I owe this married man an apology
Q. Hello Aunts, I met this man sometime in 2015 when i was on a temporal job in another state in the country. He is Married with a son. When we first met, he was attracted to me and we pretty get along so well. He dropped hints about dating me bu...
A. 20 January 2018: Cut the contact, OP
He isn't looking for a friend. He was hoping that the "friendship" would lead to sex. He is married.
Think about it for a minute here, HOW would you feel if YOUR husband were up to these kind of things with another woman? Y... (read in full...)
Does he want me anymore?
Q. Hiya sorry if this is long I’ve been with my partner for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together we have had a few relationship problems this last few months such as our sex life has been non existent then I find porn on his phone which makes ...
A. 19 January 2018: It sounds like YOU don't really want HIM anymore either.
I think he is sabotaging the relationship in hopes that YOU will leave.
I think you two need to have a long talk and figure out what the next move it. Don't stay together in MISERY, I don... (read in full...)
How do I get my life back?
Q. Husband found out I have been using tumblr for fandom stuff and threatened to smash my phone. He didn't understand what "reblogging" meant and thought that character pictures were actually real dudes. I'm not allowed to talk to "strange people on ...
A. 19 January 2018: Divorce him. Start over. BOTH of you.
I get that he has trust issues with you, if you were having an affair with a coworker years ago, but this is absolutely ridiculous.
1. He can't DEMAND that you do not work, I mean REALLY? You actually... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he's ever had sex with her?
Q. Hi guys! Quick question.. I've been having a sexual relationship with a man for almost a year. We used to work together but we now both moved on to other jobs right after the first time we had sex. So here's the thing- Right before we had se...
A. 19 January 2018: OP, so you are OK with this casual sex going on (him sleeping with MULTIPLE women) but he can't have slept with someone you know?
And if she is your friend, don't you think SHE would have hinted at it or mentioned it?
I think you are WAY more... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 19 January 2018: Good for you, OP!
As "petty" as it may sound I hope it helps you move past this guy and past thinking YOU did something wrong.
He KNEW what he was doing, and he was being a twat!
Chin up and better luck next time!... (read in full...)
So Do I go to what broke me who I love or the new guy who has fallen for me completely.
Q. Never felt so confused in my life .. Where to begin .. I was with a guy for two years, absolutely head over heels we was very happy but our issues from past relationships soon cropped up, no excuse but this guy began messaging a lot of girls r...
A. 19 January 2018: OK, OP
Did your mom ever tell you not to touch a hot stove or the oven door when it was on?
I bet she did.
And did you TOUCH it?
I bet you didn't. Because you KNEW and understood that you would get burned. And that getting burned ... (read in full...)
Why does my partner bring up my ex?
Q. Why does my partner bring up my ex? This will happen if she wishes to upset me in an arguement or even from right out of nowhere; which can be particularly problematic. I have told my partner that I really dont want to talk about her. I have reas...
A. 19 January 2018: I'm sorry for your loss, first off.
Secondly, I'd tell her. That you are DONE with having the ex used as ammo, and if she CHOOSES to keep doing it there is no future with you.
Now you might not WANT to really end the relationship, so... (read in full...)
Is it mean to ghost someone who is nice but you just don't want to see anymore?
Q. Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a ...
A. 19 January 2018: I think ghosting someone is pathetic if they have done NOTHING wrong/mean/bad to you.
I think it's the COWARD'S way out.
So you don't want to cry, I get it. But you are a GROWN woman who should understand how HURTFUL it is when someone just cut... (read in full...)
Is "I don't have a boyfriend" an invitation to ask her out?
Q. Is "I don't have a boyfriend" an invitation to ask her out? Basically there's this girl I really like since a couple of years but I but never asked her out because I was unemployed and didn't have a car or a place of my own. Now that I'm better off, ...
A. 19 January 2018: You should have been faster on the "trigger" there, OP
When she said: "I don't have a BF" you should have asked : "do you want one?" - perfect opportunity wasted! (just kidding, OP) but it would have been a nice icebreaker and could have been use... (read in full...)
I'm in the relationship because of obligation and chivalry. Should I give her another chance or end it for good?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend on and off for over 3 years. In the beginning she was a work colleague I was hesitant to get with her as although we flirted, played about together and eventually slept together, I wasn't looking for commitment. ...
A. 19 January 2018: OP,
You can't change her. It just doesn't work that way.
Your "mistake" was thinking you could have something casual with a person who wasn't looking for casual, so you ended up in a relationship you didn't want and you have let THAT go on f... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if he's ever had sex with her?
Q. Hi guys! Quick question.. I've been having a sexual relationship with a man for almost a year. We used to work together but we now both moved on to other jobs right after the first time we had sex. So here's the thing- Right before we had se...
A. 18 January 2018: Why is it any of your business if he slept with her or not?
Unless the BABY she is carrying is his, who the F cares?
No, you don't ask, you are not OWED a list of his previous partners. Just like it's NONE of his business whom you have slept w... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 18 January 2018: OP, just learn from it.
I get that it can be hard to find a decent fella online, so maybe TRY other things too?
Meeting people through family, friends, hobbies, sports might actually work too.
It's OK to tell a guy (if he tries to get you ... (read in full...)
I don't feel confident to talk dirty
Q. How can I feel confident talking sexy with my ldr . He like porn that features lots of mistresses and assertive women and I just dont feel I have the confidence to pull that off. When he asks me to talk sexy I just freeze and can't help feeling very ...
A. 18 January 2018: I'd honestly just google this, IF you actually WANT to talk dirty. It's really not for everyone.
https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2015/11/dirty-talk-the-ultimate-guide-for-beginners/
http://www.se... (read in full...)
Should I be open to casual sex to gain experience?
Q. I am a 25 yr old male with a problem in dating/sex I cant figure out. I am finishing medical school this year. I put in a lot of work/long hours to get where I am. I go to the gym try new hobbies etc. I was shy in high school,got better in...
A. 18 January 2018: I don't think you will gain MORE confidence by having more casual sex.
More partners does NOT equate to becoming a better lover. Why? Because each person is different. Likes different things (in and out of bed). It's not like the medical text boo... (read in full...)
How can I stop thinking about my married coworker ?
Q. How can I stop daydreaming about my married co-worker ( we are both in the medical field) and Work in close proximity. I believe we have a mutual attraction- I say this because conversation sometimes has steered to unprofessional chit chat ( we ...
A. 18 January 2018: OP,
You don't think this guy would complain about YOU if he was seeing you? That you are somehow BETTER than his wife? Is that giving you a boost? Really?
The guy is a CRAPPY guy. If his marriage and wife is SO horrible, he CAN divorce her. It'... (read in full...)
My ex treated me badly, now I don't have the confidence to date again.
Q. I don't think I'm still fully over what happened with my ex/ex friend and it still affects potential dating. It's been over a year now since I last saw him. We started out as friends, then it became more, but he wasn't treating me well so I ended ...
A. 18 January 2018: OP, You didn't MAKE your ex treat you like crap. Some people are LIKE your ex, they ENJOY toying with people, using them, and hurting them JUST to see how far THEY can go and still remain in control.
Instead of beating yourself up because of this ... (read in full...)
Apart from these issues my boyfriend is great.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: ...
A. 18 January 2018: Yikes, YOU just have to get used to being called a bitch, skank and whore in and out of bed?
What the actual... F!
Does he think life is some kind of cheap porn playing for HIS benefits?
And then he CLAIMS to want to have a child with you? S... (read in full...)
Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?
Q. Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...
A. 17 January 2018: Honestly, OP?
Seems like you dodged a bullet. And, that YOU need to start having a BIT more self-preservation going on.
Sorry, you do NOT go to a guys house after midnight (or at all) whom you have ONLY known a week! Just no. Not even to "fig... (read in full...)
Why am I still tempted by my ex that didn't treat me well when I have a great guy in my life?
Q. Hi, I have been broken up with my ex for 1.5 years now. While we are mostly "off" there have been a few instances where we talk, get caught up on our lives and sometimes hook up. We both know it's not going to work out but he'll say things like ...
A. 17 January 2018: I agree with Aunt honesty too,
TAKE the trash out, OP!
You KNOW that the ex-bf is a WASTE of your time, you know he plays games with you and you know you CAN do better. This "new" man is clearly a better choice. Or at least, he has potential.
... (read in full...)
I'm getting married soon so why am I thinking of this other guy?
Q. Hello, a few days ago i went to a family wedding with my fiancee. Everyone had a great time and got on well, it was brilliant! Only problem is, my cousin brought a friend with him who i now cant stop thinking about. We found we had a lot in com...
A. 16 January 2018: I think it's a combo of "cold feet", stress and maybe a bit of sexual frustration.
My advice? Find a TINY place you can afford with your Fiancee and GET out of living with family. I get saving for a house and all that but if it "ruins" the rela... (read in full...)
Is my diet likely to work?
Q. Hey there folks. I am an unfit teen who is grossly over weight. I have heard about the apple a day thing. Does that work? I do excise Monday-Friday for about 40 mins. My mother has bad very bad eating habits, which I have grown up with and she'll ...
A. 16 January 2018: I don't know about the "apple diet". But exercising daily IS good for you as long as you don't hurt your joints (which can be a problem when overweight).
The best thing you can do is CUT out sugar (processed sugar), that means white bread, p... (read in full...)
Why send me a video of his girlfriend?
Q. My to be ex husband sent me his intimate vdo of him with his girlfriend. After we have been talking about divorce for these past years. We have been lived in 2 different countries though. So he sent me that last week, saying I should know and he ...
A. 16 January 2018: I think he was hoping to hurt your feelings to be honest. I mean WHO does that?
If he won't initiate the divorce, why don't you? It's not like you HAVE to sit on your hand and wait for him to file for divorce, is it?
Look into how to file... (read in full...)
Ending Long-term Relationship
Q. I currently live with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. We live 2 hours from our home town due to me being in college and us wanting to be closer to each other. We've lived in an apartment for almost 8 months, but since living together he plays games ...
A. 16 January 2018: He made the choice to move near you and get a job, but he ALSO makes the choice to be more busy playing video games and be on his phone than spend time with you.
As soon as you find a place to live/room, tell him.
And make sure to separate your... (read in full...)
How do I convince my parents that I'm an adult? They have my entire college schedule mapped out and a GPS on my phone!
Q. I'm new in here and I've tried to help others and so far I hope I'm doing a good job. But now, I need some advice on how to convince my parents that I am an adult and deserve more privacy and freedom. I'm a college student and to be honest, I'...
A. 14 January 2018: How do you convince them?
You can't.
They see you as a sheltered little girl, because you ARE their little girl, regardless of age.
Being 18 doesn't MAKE you an adult. Being away at college doesn't make you an adult either. ACTING like an a... (read in full...)
I want marriage and children, is he wasting my time?
Q. So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years we both have crazy work schedules so I suggested that we get a place together somewhere located centrally Between both of our apartments.In my mind it’s the perfect solution so we can spend more ...
A. 14 January 2018: I agree with Cindy,
If you have NOT had this conversation, NOW is the time to do it.
And I have to say, at your ages and after 5 years he should KNOW if he wants to BE with you long term or not.
You can't live on the HOPE that living togethe... (read in full...)
Am I an evil step mother?
Q. I am a stepmother who will be inheriting my husband Home instead of his adult child. I want responses on whether * am the evil stepmom everyone fears. Here is my story. My husband was a widower when we married,that was 14 years ago. His daughter ...
A. 14 January 2018: As long as your husband is of sound mind when he writes his will, it is HIS choice who he leaves his money too.
She might not like it, but HE is the one making that choice. Not you.
I do think he SHOULD add to the will WHY she isn't getting th... (read in full...)
Is this ok? It’s meant to be a nice gesture!
Q. Is this etiquette ok? Or. It acceptable? In 6 weeks I am going interstate to see a live theater show I enjoy It has a favorite stage actress of mine in it, in a smaller but important role. She’s not the star. I’m female and I admire he...
A. 13 January 2018: I think you have asked this question a few times before?
Unless she has a protective order out on YOU to not contact her - I don't see what the big deal is? You want to leave some flowers and a nice card - then CALL the venue (like WiseOwlE... (read in full...)
I’ve been the primary breadwinner for most of our relationship!
Q. I have been dating my partner for 2 years now. Before getting together I expressed to him that as a single parent with big goals I need someone motivated who will pull their weight and he said that was easy. At the time he was a manager at a loca...
A. 13 January 2018: You ask him to move out.
If you still want to date him (knowing his history of NOT being able to keep a job long) then you KNOW what to expect.
If you want MORE from a partner than he can/wish to give then you end it, wish him well and move on... (read in full...)
I'm concerned that my boyfriend may expect the same kind of commitment from me that his ex wife gave to him
Q. My bf (he's 51 and I'm 43) has been divorced for almost two years now (separated for longer than that). He's on good terms with his ex and they coparent well their two children (15 and 18). We're taking things slow and he seems like a great guy...
A. 13 January 2018: Don't compare their life to the live you may (or may not) embark on with this man.
I wouldn't make the presumption that he WANTS the same relationship AGAIN - if that was what he wanted, he might have stayed married, right?
I do think (especi... (read in full...)
HE wants to play games with his ex, but I am not sure about it.
Q. Hi, I started an LDR a week ago, we talk every day, everything is good. But he just got out of a 3months relationship ( his ex gf ended it..) Now, she's texting him, and he wants to go with it. wtich means he just wants to make fun of her and make...
A. 12 January 2018: He sounds like a douchy Petty Pete.
If he is butt hurt that his ex dumped him or asked for a break and want to play mind-fXXX games with her, HOW long until he will do the same or similar to you?
What a jerk, I'd tell him to go "play" with his ... (read in full...)
Girl I don't want to go out with is messing with the girl I like!
Q. Hi, I think that I need some advice on a confusing matter. I have a friend, who I've known for a few years now. I've fallen for her as, so far, she is the only person who I ever thought liked me, and I liked her back. Everything seemed to go smo...
A. 12 January 2018: Don't INVOLVE a 3rd person into a crush or relationship. It will not end well.
If you think the girl you DO like is not so keen on you, talk to her. Ask her out, see what happens.
Girl #2 might not be INTO you, but she might be hurt that you re... (read in full...)
He communicates okay, apart from when I suggest we hang out!
Q. I have been talking to this guy for a total of two months, we met on a dating app and have gone on one date since then, I even met his grandparents lol. At the very beginning he was eager-- calling, texting, you name it frequently and now after ...
A. 12 January 2018: I'd pull back a little and give him the chance to initiate here.
You have suggested hanging out, you are the one reaching out. You have made it EASY for him to well, do nothing but reply.
So PULL back, see if he picks up the "slack".
If h... (read in full...)
Will waxing my upper lip hurt?
Q. hi y'all, I'm 20 yo girl and have a kind of a moustache. it doesn't bother me a lot tbh. I only waxed it once (mum did it for me) and it kinda hurts, so i can't trust anyone to wax it for me( not even myself).. I would like to shave it, but i ...
A. 12 January 2018: You can go and get it waxed, sugared (gentler than wax IMHO) or threading.
It will pinch, they are after all pulling the hairs out by the root. So it's NOT going to be absolutely pain-free - take a Motrin/Advil/Aleve/Aspirin about 30 minutes ... (read in full...)
I'm addicted to cheating
Q. Well my life is the biggest mess ever im in two relationships one long distance and one local. Yet i keep dating other guys and girls i just cant seem to stop cheating. What is wrong with me ? I have been abused alot by men i dont know if that has ...
A. 12 January 2018: I agree with the therapy because your line of thought is seriously messed up.
The fact that others in your past hurt you doesn't mean you now should have a free pass to hurt others.
Go find a counselor and STAY single. That way you can date aro... (read in full...)
Some advice on circumsision please
Q. I'm nearly 26 years old and uncircumcised. In my country, only a certain religious group practice this. But now I hear it can be done as a medical procedure and it is beneficial for hygeine and is actually recommended by WHO. Am I too old to do it ...
A. 12 January 2018: Medically speaking there is ABSOLUTELY no need for circumcision AT ALL. Some whose to do it for religious reasons and that is THEIR choice.
It is NOT more hygienic. The way to keep good groin hygiene is to KEEP it clean - foreskin or not.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is travelling with another woman and told me not to call him
Q. My bf told me to stop texting him for 2 weeks. I am on my 8 days of no contact it's really hard specially I am seeing him online all the time. We've been together for 7 years. But recently for the past 2 years we do not see each other in person due ...
A. 11 January 2018: OP, I think you need to consider yourself single.
He is WITH someone else, not just on vacation but WITH someone else - that is why they were sexting and travelling together.
Time for you to let him go. CUT all contact, DELETE all contact, BLO... (read in full...)
His work routine is disrupting our life
Q. Hi everyone. I’m looking for some advice on a situation I’m in atm. My partner has just taken a new job and hour and a half away but gives himself two hours to get there to beat traffic. He leaves at 6am and gets home about 8. An hour later than his ...
A. 11 January 2018: It depends on what line of work he is in, sometimes (and you KNOW this) taking a job a little ways away is the only way to move up in a job, further a career and/or network for an even better job.
He shouldn't have to be ASKED to get a new job,... (read in full...)
I want to ensure my well being through this process.
Q. Seeing this guy who is older than I am. Very casual and open at first. It's been about three or four months and we both are kind of surprised we are still seeing each other, and that the relationship is progressing. I stay over a lot, we have the ...
A. 11 January 2018: Since you two ARE not in a exclusive committed relationship, I don't think you have much say at all.
I would NOT want to date a guy who's female friend is
1. acts jealous and/or possessive.
2. looking to all of a sudden date men. (or may... (read in full...)
My friend wont stop pestering me
Q. Since mid December i decided to cut back on social media ( im not on it much ) i let my friends know i was having a break from it so they knew they wasnt being ignored. I really enjoyed having a break from it ive felt free and relaxed so this ...
A. 10 January 2018: What isn't clear is how she is messaging you?
Over social media? If so, just HIDE her feed. Which she can't see that you do! And Voila! you can't see the random crap she likes to share.
Over the phone (texting or calling) well, you could put he... (read in full...)
Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...
A. 10 January 2018:
If you try something (sexual or otherwise) and you don't enjoy it, it's not something you need to KEEP trying in order to keep a BF.
I can't imagine expecting a guy to go down on me if he really didn't like it.
Sometimes we find that giving ... (read in full...)
Will he break up with me because I don't like giving head?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 months now and things seem to be going well. However he keeps asking for a blowjob which I'm not keen to do. I've tried it with him for a tiny length of time but really really dislike it. I've told him this. ...
A. 8 January 2018: Well, if he breaks up over this, isn't it better?
You don't like doing it and he wants it. It seems to mean you two aren't quite on the same page.
The LAST thing you should do is giving BJ if you absolutely don't want to, JUST to keep a BF.
... (read in full...)
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