My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??
Q. A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...
A. 22 February 2018: So have you made a choice with WHAT you want to do?
IF he is proven to be cheating?
... (read in full...)
What on earth do I need to fix in me to set myself free?
Q. Hi people, I am trying to work out what on earth is wrong with me at the moment. I've had two important relationships over a 35year period, the last was a marriage, 13 years ago and ended due to his infidelity. Prior to my marriage, (15 yrs prio...
A. 13 February 2018: Thanks for the update and glad to have helped.
Good luck, OP
... (read in full...)
He makes insensitive comments then says I'm a drama queen
Q. Hi everybody. I’m here to ask you if I’m a drama queen! My boyfriend of 4 months is 53 and I’m 40. He treats me well but sometimes he makes some insensitive comments. We were talking about birth control pills, I cannot take any kind of them, and ...
A. 12 February 2018: Here is the thing, OP
He seems to not be entirely sure whether he wants kids or not. You don't one moment say I'll have a vasectomy and then the next joke about having to find a younger woman to "breed" a child with and to joke about putting ... (read in full...)
He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?
Q. I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...
A. 12 February 2018: Good for you in not ghosting him, OP
You are correct that you do NOT owe to listen to a reply from him. If you have decided it's not what you want, telling him, dropping things off and moving on is the way to go.
For me personally? I th... (read in full...)
He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?
Q. I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...
A. 12 February 2018: Personally?
I'd leave a note with his things, just telling him that you wish him well and have decided to cut all contact and move on yourself.
I think "ghosting" people is super rude and coward-like. but I do understand if you don't want to ha... (read in full...)
What is considered cheating in an open relationship?
Q. My wife and I agreed to be in an open relationship. We were both very into the idea for years. During sex, she haexpressed interest in a mutual male friend. Several months later I was suspecting that they were fooling around but she never mentione...
A. 12 February 2018: For me that would be cheating.
Because if she thought it was JUST dandy for her to do that... she would have told you.
Seems like they are setting up HIS wife too.
BUT, every relationship is different. IF you CHOOSE to have an open relation... (read in full...)
I want my pastor to treat me as he does others
Q. OK my head is frying and I have no one I can talk to about this without it ending up a mess. My pastor is hurting and confusing me! I am a young single mum to a 8 year old. I find life though sometimes. My pastor came out too see me 3 times in...
A. 12 February 2018: Honestly and bluntly? OP?
He sounds like a shitty pastor.
You said (and I quote) " Then following that on another he told me if I don't do what he asks of me he will give up on me and my Dad and everyone else will."
What exactly did he A... (read in full...)
He makes insensitive comments then says I'm a drama queen
Q. Hi everybody. I’m here to ask you if I’m a drama queen! My boyfriend of 4 months is 53 and I’m 40. He treats me well but sometimes he makes some insensitive comments. We were talking about birth control pills, I cannot take any kind of them, and ...
A. 12 February 2018: He sounds like an idiot.
However, WHAT he said was true, was it not?
You are 40 so your"window" IS kind of small. Which would allude to the fact that IF he wants kids... He might have to find someone younger.
Honestly? If he has a... (read in full...)
I've changed my mind about this guy I was casually seeing
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of three years about 5 months ago. I’ve been on tinder for the last few months, and a few weeks ago met a guy that I fancied. We went on a few dates, got on well, he was a great guy. I definitely fancied him but I didn’t ...
A. 12 February 2018: You don't know him OP - you said so yourself. You have had a few dates and had sex. THAT is it.
I think whether you want to admit it or not, that you are on the rebound. That is why you had sex. I don't know how many times I have seen people ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn’t give me attention!
Q. Well I have been with my bf for a few months now. I have noticed that I have been the absolute only on carrying the relationship. I have a giving heart and that sometimes make a me look real stupid. My heart is pure and I tend to give it to the ...
A. 11 February 2018: Why?
Because he isn't with you for you, he is with you for what you can provide.
WHY on EARTH would you spend $1,000 on someone who is a FAIRLY new BF, whom you OWE nothing (in all honesty) and who isn't even giving a single F about you as a p... (read in full...)
He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?
Q. I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...
A. 10 February 2018: I think when a person says:"I don't know what I want"... they don't WANT what they have (as in BE you in this instance).
YOU were/are a rebound. He went ALL out with the "love-bombing" of you to prove to the "not-quite-ex-wife" that he is still at... (read in full...)
I drunk texted her while we were on a break!
Q. Hi. So me and my girlfriend are on a break due to our age difference I’m 10 years younger than her and this scares her as she feels she’ll hold me back. Anyway. Went out on Saturday and got very drunk woke up Sunday morning to see if text her. Now ...
A. 10 February 2018: If you said nothing bad, it wasn't a totally bad thing. However, if might also be "AMMO" against you. The fact that you didn't respect the "break and no contact". And that you are texting drunk (which can be viewed as immature).
You did it, you ... (read in full...)
What on earth do I need to fix in me to set myself free?
Q. Hi people, I am trying to work out what on earth is wrong with me at the moment. I've had two important relationships over a 35year period, the last was a marriage, 13 years ago and ended due to his infidelity. Prior to my marriage, (15 yrs prio...
A. 10 February 2018: You know the saying:
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”.
You say, I'm not nuts.... but you DO keep doing the same thing OVER and over knowing full well that it's NOT going t... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with my first cousin's baby
Q. I'm pregnant with my first cousin's baby and i'm going to birth the baby but i'm worried. Doctor says my baby is fine but i'm still worried. My cousin is scared and we both can't tell our families because they're really strict but now they know tha...
A. 10 February 2018: Honestly? The likelihood of there being anything "wrong" with the baby is VERY small. However, the "bun is in the oven" so it's a LITTLE too late for those concerns, to be frank.
You two CHOSE to have sex. UNPROTECTED sex. Now you two have to ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of my sister, her obsession at finding a partner and the fact that she's constantly blaming me for her woes
Q. My sister is angry with me and is using emotional blackmail, or at least try to make me feel guilty. Ever since we were kids she was obsessed with finding a bf and later on a husband. Sadly, even though she was always focused on this part of ...
A. 10 February 2018: Tell her: YOU do you".
SHE is responsible for HER actions and choices, not you. I would reiterate that point over and over until she either gets it or stop asking.... (read in full...)
How do you trust someone?
Q. Please answer the mysterious question, how to trust someone? I have been in a relationship for a little over a year and we live together. I love him so much; however, I have moments where I am ridiculously jealous and insecure. I react in ways th...
A. 10 February 2018: You have to learn self-control.
This isn't so much about trust as it is self-control. You KNOW when he RARELY goes out with friends it's NOT to cruise for girls. If that is what he wanted to do, I bet you he would CHOOSE to be single.
You say... (read in full...)
How do I convince my much younger wife to allow another man to join us in the bedroom?
Q. Hi. I am looking for advice {mostly from women}on how to convince my wife (almost 20 years younger than me)to allow another younger man to join us in bed so I can watch him pleasure her. Without going into a boring explanation let me just say I'm ...
A. 10 February 2018: You don't.
Getting "wet" from watching a sex tape or porn is a NORMAL bodily reaction, same as a hard on. Doesn't mean SHE wants to have sex with the guy in the tape. A woman (or man) does NOT have full control over WHEN they get aroused and when... (read in full...)
I cheated and I stay because I think I owe him
Q. (Mod note: based on your follow ups you are in an abusive relationship and require assistance beyond the scope of this site. Please contact the organization provided by the last post. This question is being closed now.) This is going to be a long one...
A. 10 February 2018: I understand that you want your kids to have a mom and dad and a whole family, instead of one that is no longer together.
But in all seriousness how long do you think it will be until he hurts you so bad YOU no longer can take care of the kids?
... (read in full...)
I cheated and I stay because I think I owe him
Q. (Mod note: based on your follow ups you are in an abusive relationship and require assistance beyond the scope of this site. Please contact the organization provided by the last post. This question is being closed now.) This is going to be a long one...
A. 8 February 2018: You BF have physically assaulted you at least 4 times by your story and you say he is a wonderful partner when we are OK... Are you serious?
This isn't normal. Or healthy or a GOOD partner.
What do you think you kids are learning from al... (read in full...)
I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!
Q. Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...
A. 8 February 2018: Jeeez OP,
Don't be so DESPERATE to believe all his crap because YOU want a "happily ever after"!
He lied to you. First she was his cousin, then a friend... And now either she (or another woman) is pregnant with his child.
He was playing ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants a break, what chance is there for us?
Q. So my girlfriend said she needs space to work out what she wants. Now I know that this isn’t a good thing but is it necessarily a bad thing? Obviously I have agreed to give her space for one week. Two points though do I text her at all to make sure ...
A. 8 February 2018: She wants space for a reason.
Something wasn't working in the relationship, hence the break. Now you might want to consider spending some thing trying to figure out WHY she needs a "break" instead of can I contact her while we are having a break?... (read in full...)
Is my friend jealous?
Q. Hey aunts! Can someone explain what’s wrong with my friend? We met in high school and we became really close. She always had boyfriends but I was always the single friend. So as time went on she got into a two year relationship while I got my 1st b...
A. 8 February 2018: Does she know your BF?
I get why you feel something is off with her, and it probably is. Could be that she feel you are being to "cutesy" for her taste, could be that her relationship is a little stagnate which might make her feel you are "bra... (read in full...)
I guess she want to play hide and seek to me, what should I do?
Q. hi friends, please advice me on what to do. I met this girl in my working place. she work as a waitress and I work as a bartender in the same hotel. she always stare at me starting from the day I got employed and the way she talk to me. our ...
A. 8 February 2018: She sounds very young and immature, OP
Maybe you should look for romance OUTSIDE your workplace so you don't end up with this kind of awkward drama where you work.... (read in full...)
We went a month without sex and now I realize I don't want it anymore. How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and everything has been going well, until last month. We've been discussing a lot of changes in our relationship, where we want to live, what the plan is for the next few months etc. Anyway, we had a ...
A. 8 February 2018: I agree with Allumeuse,
Something happened that makes you be OK to go from 5-7 times a week to not wanting it at all.
Was the sex bad? Always on his terms?
The plans you two made - were the mostly what HE wanted?
What exactly happened t... (read in full...)
Is it ok if I want to be on my own? The relationship feels like 80/20 I'm just not getting enough out of it
Q. Hi guys and gals, Just here to seek some advice. i am in a relationship of three years, with a man who i love and care for deeply. we had been friends for a while before we decided to hook up. I'm tired and just not sure where to begin. i hardl...
A. 7 February 2018: Yes, OP
I think you being single for a bit would do you good. While I FULLY agree with FA's and Auntie BimBim's advice - that you are trying your best to fulfill HIS needs, HE isn't really giving much of a hoot about yours and given your age... H... (read in full...)
Why am I always the last to know at work?
Q. Why am I always nearly the last one to find things out at work? everyone knows but me? This younger colleague (who works nights and I see in shift changeover) I have been working with for 3 years is leaving soon and everyone seems to know ...
A. 7 February 2018: Who knows?
Maybe she isn't sure whom she has told and whom she hasn't. I'm pretty sure she wasn't out to SLIGHT you in some unseen way. Or maybe she didn't tell someone until she had a new job or it was 100% certain she was leaving. So what?
... (read in full...)
He thinks I am sick and twisted when I ask about hi past, we have no interesting conversation, its just boring.
Q. Hi ,I have been dating this guy for 4 wks seeing him 2-3 times a wk .. meals out , walks in park etc but I feel bored already because he has told me not to ask about the past and he never asks me anything so our conversation is pretty standard ...
A. 7 February 2018: Can you really see a future with a guy who is SO scared of talking of the past?
While personally, I don't want to hear details about exes and previous relationships, because why? I know they existed but details? no need.
If you can't talk about... (read in full...)
He thinks I am sick and twisted when I ask about hi past, we have no interesting conversation, its just boring.
Q. Hi ,I have been dating this guy for 4 wks seeing him 2-3 times a wk .. meals out , walks in park etc but I feel bored already because he has told me not to ask about the past and he never asks me anything so our conversation is pretty standard ...
A. 7 February 2018: I think if you are bored and "now allowed" to really get to know him (and yes, he can talk about other things than his ex-wife from the past) you should move on. It's only been 4 weeks.
As for you not being willing to respect his boundari... (read in full...)
Could my FWB's partner's ego have kept him from admitting that he cares about me?
Q. I've been on and off friends with benefits with a guy for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him and I told him in person. he said he likes me but can't commit to me because of his family situation as his family are not speaking to him. During this ...
A. 6 February 2018: No, I think not.
If he CARED about you in a deep or loving matter he wouldn't have kept the FWB going for 4 years! Come on, OP
Maybe it's your EGO that needs a checking out? You won't admit to yourself that this guy is in it for the NO STRIN... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to get pregnant?
Q. So to start im 25 years old my question is kinda going to be all over the place so just bare with me please. So 3 years back I was in a relationship with a guy who did me wrong and gave me a std that I had no symptoms of and it was sitting in my ...
A. 6 February 2018: Talk to your Gyno, she knows YOUR specific case and the STD you got.
We can't give you a denial or confirmation whether you can have kids or not.
Condoms do NOT protect from spreading HpV.... (read in full...)
Shouldn't she be washing her hands after using the toilet? Do I ask her about this?
Q. I recently noticed that a relative of mine has stopped washing her hands after she poops. (Thin bathroom door and I can hear her flush after being in there for a long time and then she immediately comes out.) I know she hates hand sanitizer so I'm...
A. 6 February 2018: With the flu season being as dangerous as it is... NOT washing her hands is BAD. They estimate that the flu vaccine this year is only 10% useful.
I get that eczema might make hand washing more painful, but it beats getting ill from the germs or... (read in full...)
Did I unintentionally ask him out?
Q. met a guy at the gym that I'm interested in. We talk occasionally, but not a lot. Recently I started a new part time job in an area he also happens to work in. That area is very congested during rush hour and I don't want to fight traffic on my wa...
A. 6 February 2018: It's impossible to know his thoughts. And you can't "take back" what you said, so why keep thinking and fretting about it?
You asked him if he wanted to join you at the "new" gym and he declined. The BIGGER issue you make of this, the more awk... (read in full...)
My Mum is saying we shouldn't go to my brother's wedding due to a misunderstanding over outfits.
Q. Hi Agony people. Need a bit of help here. My brother is due to get married during the summer. The bride's mum bought her outfit a few weeks ago. The groom's mum bought her last week in the same shop. Both outfits are completely different. The groom ...
A. 6 February 2018: I think your mom is making a mountain out of a mole hill. I don't think it was RIGHT of your brother and the SIL to DEMAND that your mother change/exchange outfit but my guess is they suggested it because YOUR mom is less "dramatic" than the bride's ... (read in full...)
After 2 years together I sense that something isn't right
Q. I'm in a two year relationship and although my boyfriend cheated on me, one night stand, at the very start of our relationship, we managed to work through it and we are still together now. We had been together for 4 months, and he confesse...
A. 6 February 2018: 1. don't buy a house with someone who isn't your spouse. It's just not smart.
2. DEFINITELY don't buy a house with someone who gives you "there is something off vibes".
3. The reason you feel something is off is because something is off... (read in full...)
I have first date jitters, due to my acne! I
Q. I'm in my mid/late 20s and met a woman off a dating website who seems incredible (she's in her late 20s/early 30s) - we started chatting briefly using the site and found we had a lot in common. We then exchanged numbers and started chatting ...
A. 5 February 2018: First of, if I were you I'd send her some more "honest" pictures. That way you won't get the reaction you fear. She will either accept you AS you are or walk away before you meet up and invest more time and emotions into this.
People use "filters... (read in full...)
What else besides texting my daughter should I do to stop this?
Q. I just witnessed my pregnant daughters husband playing footsies with my other daughter under the table! I texted my single daughter and told her to Stop what she was doing with her sisters husband now. It did not stop completely however. The ...
A. 5 February 2018: I would talk to your "single" daughter face to face and ask WHY she is doing this. I'd tell you are so ASHAMED of her behavior. That you didn't raise her to act like that.
And I think you should call out the son-in-law as well and ask him WHAT on ... (read in full...)
My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??
Q. A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...
A. 5 February 2018: I think first off you need to decide that IF he is cheating WHAT DO you plan to do?
Do you plan on leaving? Divorce? OR to just suck it up and stay?
I'm asking because you have to decide if this is a deal breaker or not.
If the two of y... (read in full...)
How does a Type B person work with a Type A person?
Q. What’s the best way to work with type “A” or very driven and assertive people? When you are quieter, older and more type “b” Tips please? Thanks ...
A. 5 February 2018: Ah, and that was obvious how?
... (read in full...)
Is "we need to chat" the same as "we need to talk"?
Q. If someone says ‘we need to chat’ is that different than ‘we need to talk’ or do you think it’s the same thing? ...
A. 4 February 2018: I'd guess the same.
Something is not working for your partner (is my guess) and she wants to discuss it with you. DOESN'T mean you are heading for a break up but it could be.
... (read in full...)
How does a Type B person work with a Type A person?
Q. What’s the best way to work with type “A” or very driven and assertive people? When you are quieter, older and more type “b” Tips please? Thanks ...
A. 4 February 2018: Find things you share in common, I'd say. Accept that the Type A likes to go to bed early and rise early and then learn to compromise (both of you).
Which means at times YOU will do something you might not want to do (let's say, try swing dancing)... (read in full...)
Why is my sister in law making herself accessible to me?
Q. So I've been married for 10 years now, why all of a sudden my wife's sister is starting to change with doors open and making sure I hear her orgasm at night when she masterbates? I Love my wife but damn her sister doin this stuff, Please Help....
A. 3 February 2018: I agree Andie... Sounds like the beginning of a bad porn.
... (read in full...)
Advice needed - break up or work through it?
Q. Hi, I've in my late 20's and I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. I love her and she is an amazing woman but our relationship has recently taken a lot of hits and it's affecting both of our happiness. To the point, we are both seri...
A. 3 February 2018: You can't live you life "in theory". You have to live in the reality you are part of. That is why I suggest the topic of a child. Because I can tell you that two people from VERY different background can get along and do well UNTIL they have kids or ... (read in full...)
Should I just walk away and save myself more heartache?
Q. Hi recently I’ve started dating a woman who is a bit older than me (I’m 22 she’s 34). It was all going well we were seeing each other most nights, we had a real spark so good we started being in a relationship, anyway a week ago she said she wasn’t ...
A. 3 February 2018: I agree with Andie here,
She is TRYING so hard to let you down easy because she doesn't SEE a future here with you. You are simply TOO young for her. (no offense).
She has WAY more life experience, WAY more responsibility and probably bigger ... (read in full...)
Whats with my husband saying the things he says to me?
Q. I don’t understand why my husband says things that he says example : I tell him I’m running to the store after giving me that yeah right look he says ok. I’m gone 30 min and he texts stuff like. Having fun or what are you killing the cow. Or I kn...
A. 3 February 2018: I agree FULLY with Billy B here.
Unless you have cheated in the past there is ABSOLUTELY no reason for him to do this. And IF you did cheat in the past then this is not working, because HIS actions shows that he can't/won't move on, he wants to... (read in full...)
Should I continue being my ex's friend or let him get married and walk away.
Q. My ex and I? were together for 6 years. We had a few ups and downs but we made I.T through. He didn’t like me having a girlfriend because he felt that he should have been the only friend that I? needed. One night my friend and I? attended a concert ...
A. 3 February 2018: Wish him well and CUT him loose and cut him off.
No more doing "landscaping" for you or anything else. Tell him to focus on his new lady love and then YOU work on moving on.
He sounds like a controlling creepy guy who needs to be out of your l... (read in full...)
I’m falling for him badly, what do I do?
Q. I'm a straight lad who has only ever had hetrosexual relationships. I've recently started chatting to another guy who is in a homosexual long term relationship. Over a while we become close and have since ended up meeting up on numerous occasions ...
A. 3 February 2018: You know that you are just a slab of meat on the side for this guy, right?
And that YOU are the proverbial "home-wrecker"? Right?
That sits OK with you?
Have some self control, end whatever is going on and CUT the contact.
And you may ... (read in full...)
Advice needed - break up or work through it?
Q. Hi, I've in my late 20's and I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. I love her and she is an amazing woman but our relationship has recently taken a lot of hits and it's affecting both of our happiness. To the point, we are both seri...
A. 3 February 2018: Ask yourself this (and maybe her), WHAT would happen if you two had a child together?
How would you two raise it? Or want to raise it?
Can you two find harmony in your different cultures and belief systems or not?
I think for most people wh... (read in full...)
Why is my sister in law making herself accessible to me?
Q. So I've been married for 10 years now, why all of a sudden my wife's sister is starting to change with doors open and making sure I hear her orgasm at night when she masterbates? I Love my wife but damn her sister doin this stuff, Please Help....
A. 3 February 2018: Why is your SIL living with you two? Or are you two living with her?
Why is she doing it? Because she is lonely, horny, resentful of her sister? It's kind of hard to pinpoint why someone would do that. Though IT IS obvious that she KNOWS you can ... (read in full...)
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