How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?
Q. Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...
A. 2 March 2018: Yes, I never think ghosting is OK. Even if it's someone you barely know, if you have been out on a couple of dates you know them "well" enough to back out politely.
"do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
... (read in full...)
How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?
Q. Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...
A. 2 March 2018: I would make the presumption that she isn't all that interested. 36+ hours before replying is (to me) low-key off-putting in my book. No one is that busy. Shoot, I even text people back I really don't want to talk to within a few hours. Not to be ... (read in full...)
How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?
Q. Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...
A. 27 February 2018: I think a kiss on the lips should come NATURALLY or "ORGANICALLY" not with a plan or agenda.
I don't think a girl who gives a cheek is automatically a "gold digger" or whatever - she might just WANT to go slow, she MIGHT be uncomfortable and she ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong or not with regard to my situation?
Q. Hi all. Im in deep need of advice to see if im in the wrong or not on my situation. Ive been with my guy for almost 6 yrs now. When I first met him, he was a drinker and a weed smoker. And thru the years he hasnt stopped either the drinking or the ...
A. 22 February 2018: Good!
Thanks for the update. Even if a person is keeping their drinking to a "legal level" he still should be around a child. (of any age) Because when it comes to kids... monkey see monkey do! (I have 3 kids, so yeah I know)
Don't be his ... (read in full...)
How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?
Q. Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...
A. 22 February 2018: I think it VERY hard to distinguish between someone being VERY polite and friendly versus someone who is interested.
Especially in our age group. Because WE (most of us) have learned manners and as women were RAISED to not be rude.
I know ... (read in full...)
Should I stay friends with her when her partner is not a nice person?
Q. I have a friend who is in a relationship with someone who wasn't so nice to me and this person is not a nice person at all . I never expected to become friends with her under the circumstances of how I met her but in the few years I've known her ...
A. 22 February 2018: I agree with FA
You CAN still be friends with her, keep it to talking over the phone and if you meet up WITHOUT her partner around (so NOT at her place if she shares that with him/her)
As for why she can BE with someone who has hurt YOU at some... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong or not with regard to my situation?
Q. Hi all. Im in deep need of advice to see if im in the wrong or not on my situation. Ive been with my guy for almost 6 yrs now. When I first met him, he was a drinker and a weed smoker. And thru the years he hasnt stopped either the drinking or the ...
A. 22 February 2018: Are you crazy?
Yes!!! You left a DRUNK to watch your kid? An 8 year old?! What is wrong with you?
You are so focused on this guy's drinking and smoking you don't even see you CHILD in all this?
That is MESSED up!
That aside - which to m... (read in full...)
Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?
Q. My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...
A. 22 February 2018: Just wanted to add, Uncle TylerSage brings up a GREAT point...
EVEN if your husband is bi, doesn't mean he is cheating or WILL cheat. Being bi just means someone is attracted to BOTH genders - NOT that they want to FUCK every guy & girl they see... (read in full...)
Ex says he wants to be friends. Why?
Q. Long story short, my ex-boyfriend and I dated for almost a year. We broke up a week ago due to the fact that he got a job offer far away. We both kind of chose not to do long distance and that's that, he leaves in a few months. He texted me today ...
A. 22 February 2018: Why? Because he misses being WITH you. While he knows logically that a LDR isn't going to work, MAYBE you are willing to STILL give him the "GF experience" - as in hanging out, talking, socialize, maybe sex. Basically STILL sorta bf his GF until he ... (read in full...)
I'm still not over her after all these years but she has a 2 year old daughter and says she's done with dating. Should I still persevere?
Q. So a little backstory… I've been crushing on this girl since high school and you could say I got hit hard. I never had the courage to ask her out; because it's high school she was way out of my league back then. I've put her in this pedestal...
A. 22 February 2018: Is it a bad idea to date a girl with a child?
No. Not really. However is it a HUGE responsibility for her to be raising a child on her own. And what SHE needs might be something you can not give her. Putting her on a pedestal is NOT what she need... (read in full...)
Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?
Q. My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...
A. 22 February 2018: Honestly?
I think he has found that it gives HIM a bit extra pleasure from the insertion in his anus - as men ACTUALLY get to stimulate their prostate that way which supposedly is VERY lovely for a guy.
So I don't really think it's about being... (read in full...)
My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??
Q. A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...
A. 22 February 2018: So have you made a choice with WHAT you want to do?
IF he is proven to be cheating?
... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to fall in love?
Q. I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...
A. 21 February 2018: If you otherwise like him, continue to date him but tell him you WISH to take it slowly... AND... take what he says with a grain of salt.
He might be in love with the IDEA of being in love and the fantasy of who he WANTS you to be.
But if ... (read in full...)
My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married
Q. I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...
A. 21 February 2018: Stress at work is never a good excuse for him to talk smack to you or attack you verbally (because he is attacking you). It's EASY to complain about all the things you "want" but who doesn't WANT conversations about less stressful topics here and ... (read in full...)
What should I expect about finances, personal space and housework when we start living together?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm gonna move in with my bf in couple.of months, we have been together for almost 2.5 years. I always lived alone or with my parents. So i'm not sure what to expect when we start living together like finances, personal space, house wor...
A. 21 February 2018: Sit down and talk this OVER before you move in.
Make a chose list TOGETHER and who does what.
Talk finances, talk bills. What can you afford? What does he expect you to pay?
MAKE a budget together.
STICK to that budget.
DO NOT move i... (read in full...)
Is he weird or just desperate for telling his plans to me? We barely know each other
Q. Hello people, 2days ago I went on date with a man I met online his 44 years old with 4 kids from his partner who left him for another man.We chatted in a Cafe for 3 hours, but what was strange was that he was telling me all his faults like how he ...
A. 21 February 2018: Sounds like he is more desperate for a "replacement mommy" than a partner. He has 4 kids and a house that needs minding or a "woman's touch" (in lack of a better term).
He seems flighty and honestly? FULL of empty promises.
The fact that he is ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to still be a rebound if a guy left his ex to be with you?
Q. Is it possible to still be a rebound if a guy left his ex to be with you? My boyfriend and his ex broke up after she found out about us on Facebook. He’s with me now but he still entertains his ex and is still in contact with her....
A. 21 February 2018: Yes, you probably IS his rebound.
The fact that he keeps contact with the ex isn't (at least to me) a good sign about how he feels about you.
... (read in full...)
How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?
Q. Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...
A. 21 February 2018: Don't do the "wait 3 days".
If the contact isn't flowing well, maybe this is not quite the one for you.
The idea time to ask for a second date? I think is at the END of a SUCCESSFUL first date. IMHO.
So you can ask her out any time now. Bu... (read in full...)
Unrequited love for a sometimes FWB and I'm feeling second best
Q. I’ve been seeing this guy for just over nine months. When we first met I fell in love with him, and at first it was reciprocated. I am still in love with him, however his feelings have changed and we have moved to more of a situation where we are ...
A. 21 February 2018: You are a poor substitute OP,
Most FWB's are uneven from the start and as soon as ONE of them develop feelings it's even more uneven.
I think he likes you as a person, but he never felt as strongly about you, as you do about him. Why do I sa... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's lack of initiative worries me
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2+ years. I am his first serious relationship. Overall we have a good, caring, fun relationship. We are generally compatible in personality and values. He is caring, responsible and of good characte...
A. 21 February 2018: Here is the thing, OP
He likes the talks, he likes the FANTASY of "a great future" but he either doesn't KNOW how to get from A-Z or he just isn't really ready for the REALITY.
Why not pull back a little, see if he picks up the slack. If you, s... (read in full...)
My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married
Q. I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...
A. 21 February 2018: Could be, that he meant it in the heat of the fight but he is staying for more reason than just the fact that you two are married.
I DO think you need to have a conversation about this. And if you don't want to be his "begrudging wife" that he ... (read in full...)
My husband bought a perfume for a colleague.. Is he cheating?
Q. My husband came home from trip abroad. While i was unpacking i saw a burberry perfume i sent him a picture of it.. ang replied” for my colleague”... the perfume is obviously for women. He messaged again he said “ did i do anything wrong?” I felt ...
A. 21 February 2018: While I do think buying perfume and other "intimate" presents (such as jewelry, perfume, negligees etc.) to coworkers (when you are a married man or woman) - so people don't know those "unofficial rules".
While (to me at least) it's COMMON S... (read in full...)
A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?
Q. I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...
A. 21 February 2018: I agree with N91
No need to "break up" with him, just block his number. (And consider getting a new phone number). But if you feel you NEED to do so, just text him. And block, don't wait for an answer.
As for men and why you end up in "thing... (read in full...)
Are all university boys so immature? Do I need an older, more mature man in my life?
Q. I have recently broken up with my university boyfriend after a year of dating. His hobbies included smoking weed and playing video games, and he didn't go to his lectures or ever have any money. He generally was a caring person who I had lots of ...
A. 21 February 2018: EDIT (should have coffee before typing my answers, sorry)
I wrote:
"While I agree that you SHOULD have a standard for what you want in a partner. I also agree with your BF. You should date someone like him and then expect him to change to sui... (read in full...)
Are all university boys so immature? Do I need an older, more mature man in my life?
Q. I have recently broken up with my university boyfriend after a year of dating. His hobbies included smoking weed and playing video games, and he didn't go to his lectures or ever have any money. He generally was a caring person who I had lots of ...
A. 21 February 2018: You know age DOES have something to do with it in many ways, but you can also find guys that are older and still that immature.
While I agree that you SHOULD have a standard for what you want in a partner. I also agree with your BF. You should d... (read in full...)
What's the deal with shy guy?
Q. This shy guy in my evening class is always nervous around me. One day in class another guy asked this shy guy if he has a girlfriend. The shy guy with a big smile on his face said Yes but then he looked at me and said No I don't have a girlfrie...
A. 21 February 2018: Why knows?
Someone put him on the spot and he said he had one, then took it back. Why lie about that? It's not like it's a good or fun to joke to say YES I have a gf!
So, really... who knows?... (read in full...)
Should I message him and find out what’s wrong?
Q. So this is probably like the most unimportant question of all time but I seriously don’t know what to do. So basically I had been talking to this guy for a few weeks and it was going really well, we had a lot of cute banter and flirting and a really ...
A. 21 February 2018: I agree with Ycnbs and N91,
I wouldn't text him. You know he is fine (as he is online) but he has CHOSEN to not contact you.
I would NOT reach out to see what's "wrong". YOU didn't do anything wrong here (per se) except go HOME with a guy you d... (read in full...)
I kicked my partner out of my house because of his hurtful comments. Advice?
Q. Yesterday I kicked my partner out of my home. He is 60 years old and has been a very high level banker in the past. We had a minor tiff when I confronted him (gently) by telling him I was hurt by a comment he made. I had shown him a mortgag...
A. 20 February 2018: While I think he might have presumed to ONLY be giving you "sound advice" he also likes to hold the power, be the "smarter one", the one who is always "right" and when you don't comply or agree - he gets rude and demeaning. Because you are not ... (read in full...)
How soon is too soon to fall in love?
Q. I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...
A. 20 February 2018: It's WAYYYY too much and WAYYYYY too soon.
He doesn't know you, and you don't know him. So if he is in "love" it's with his own FANTASY of you, not the real you.
Wanting to buy you all kind of stuff... again, no.
For me those are red flags. ... (read in full...)
I hate sex with my husband!
Q. OMG. I hate sex with my husband. It was always not great but I thought it would improve over time. I love him very much and I didn’t think that was a reason to break up before we got married. I’ve never discussed this with anyone.A...
A. 20 February 2018: I don't think an "open marriage" is a solution to the problem. AT ALL. Or at least NOT the first option to seek.
If you INTEND on making this marriage work you NEED to have a VERY uncomfortable and straight to the point conversation about sex. Abo... (read in full...)
Are we wrong for seeing each other? Or is it just a complex situation?
Q. My dad had been going out with this girl, I met her friend's son, and instantly developed a crush on him which carried on through the years. My dad ended up dumping the girl he was with and getting with her friend, which was the mother of the boy I ...
A. 20 February 2018: I think it's just a really messy situation but legally I don't think there is an issue here.
IS there anything "wrong" in it? I think if you two had been step-siblings and grew up together it would be kind of gross. (If I am to be honest) but sinc... (read in full...)
On our third date I felt like the third wheel! Am I being unreasonable?
Q. I went out with this gent twice. First was a coffee date; good times he was civil we got along well. Mutual attraction so on so forth. Second date went out to dinner. We again got along well. HOWEVER he did mention more then once other girls he...
A. 19 February 2018: I think you have more check marks in the negative than positive with this guy, so why continue?
... (read in full...)
I got accepted to a different college and don’t know how to tell him!
Q. So.. my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5 years now and our senior year is going to come to an end soon. For the majority of our relationship, he had been living in a different city from me. We spent 3 years apart from each other and for ...
A. 19 February 2018: If you have gotten a scholarship THAT takes priority over how HE might feel that you will be at another college. Seriously.
I get it, you two have been together a long time (WAY long for you age group) your EDUCATION is more important.
The soo... (read in full...)
Always feel trapped getting in to a relationship!
Q. So I’m trying to analyse my own behaviour a bit here. Until recently I’d been in a three year relationship with a man. He was a classical musician so worked away a lot. When we first got together it was this exciting touring lifestyle he had...
A. 18 February 2018: You are NOT going to be happy with this new guy. Do you want him to FEEL like he has to give up his DREAMS and AMBITIONS for you to be happy?
You KNEW going into the first (3 year relationship) that he moved around a lot, and it didn't take tha... (read in full...)
I welcome opinions on if he is interested or not? Also why men play the three day game?
Q. I am a female in her mid fifties. I have done online dating on and off for about nine years. I have a good job, a home, friends, hobbies, have been told that I am attractive, work out, intelligent, funny and best of all, have a big heart. I started ...
A. 18 February 2018: Why do men play the "wait 3 days"? game? Because they think it will INCREASE her interest and it usually works.
Honestly OP?
You have talked and texted for 2-3 weeks WHERE is the fire? Just slow down and TRY NOT to make the presumption that... (read in full...)
Do I message my crush?
Q. I am single and have a big crush on a local comedian infact my ex and I would often go and watch him at the comedy club. I started to follow him on Instagram and he followed me back. I have 'liked a few of his pics and he 'liked' one of mine. It...
A. 18 February 2018: Don't.
He IS a stranger to you. It doesn't matter that you "follow" each other on Instagram or whatnot or that you have been to his shows. YOU DO NOT KNOW HIM. He probably have 1,000's of followers.
Have you ever exchanged a single word in p... (read in full...)
Is it safe to wear a butt plug for a long period of time?
Q. I have a new BF and he suggested we try anal sex. I have never done this before and so he said it wont hurt if I either relax or i could prepare myself by waring what he called a Butt Plug as this would make intercourse easier. Is it alright /safe ...
A. 18 February 2018: A quick google search yielded MANY MANY results...
http://thehealthybear.com/butt-plug-guide/
That was the first that popped up. Strange for someone your age group to not go straight to google.... but ask random strangers about this.
... (read in full...)
Do I ask a friend to ask another friend why he's ignoring me?
Q. I feel silly asking this, but here goes: I have a friend, whom I'll call A, who I was friends with for decades. Over the last few years something has been up -- he has been avoiding me, and doesn't e-mail or call me. We have a mutual friend, ...
A. 18 February 2018: You have put your age group to 51-59 so you are "old" enough to know that if you WANT the truth you go to the person you have issues with, you don't drag more people into any kind of drama.
So no, I don't think you need to ask other people w... (read in full...)
We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?
Q. My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...
A. 18 February 2018: Treat him like you treat ALL the other classmates. Don't spend time alone with him.
Be firm if he asks you to hang out. Tell him no.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes home goes out of contact for hours and doesn't get it that it bothers me
Q. Im frustrated with my bf. Hes been staying over at my apartment for almost the entire year. I go to med school about 5 hrs from where his dad lives. I like that he lives with me and we dont have many issues, except for every single time he goes ...
A. 18 February 2018: Oh and the whole "taking you out and buying things" when he gets back because he knows you were upset.. Just tell him no, thanks.
To me that buying things, it's a sign of guilt. So what is REALLY going on, on those home trips?
How often doe... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes home goes out of contact for hours and doesn't get it that it bothers me
Q. Im frustrated with my bf. Hes been staying over at my apartment for almost the entire year. I go to med school about 5 hrs from where his dad lives. I like that he lives with me and we dont have many issues, except for every single time he goes ...
A. 18 February 2018: He spend 9 hours a with his dad and he couldn't use his dad's phone to text and say "hey phone is dead I will text/call when I charge it" And honestly... who doesn't have a phone charger in their car?
BUT that aside. IF this happens EVERY time he ... (read in full...)
I want to be his girlfriend..not his FWB
Q. Am in a fwb situation..we are monogamous with each other..he tells me he loves me..I tell him that too.. But he says he does not want a girlfriend..he did take me out on valentines day..but next morning referred to me as his fuck buddy...I hate t...
A. 18 February 2018: It seems you two are at an impasse. You want more, HE doesn't.
Saying "I love you" doesn't mean he LOVES you. They are words that HE knows make you comply to continue to being a FWB/F-buddy. Taking you out for Valentine doesn't mean crap either. ... (read in full...)
Is it ever okay to date a mates ex?
Q. Okay so there is this guy I work with (X) and I've always found him attractive but he dated one of the girls I work with (Y) that I'm mates with. I'm not best buds with her but we're pretty close. I've always seen him as off limits as he's her ex.. ...
A. 18 February 2018: I have to agree with F.A and N91
NOT a good idea. NOT because he previously "dated" a coworker but because of all the flipping red flags I see in your post.
1. Coworker. THAT in itself is RARELY a good idea. Just don't eat where you crap o... (read in full...)
She has a way of clawing herself back into my life! Insight needed!
Q. Hi all, I started dating this girl in December 15. I was 25 and she was 22 and was a TA in my class. We eventually grew in attraction and one evening, it progressed. Initially I was reluctant and said no as she was my colleague but she pursued ...
A. 17 February 2018: I think you need to make a choice here. BE dragged around by the nose by this girl, or CUT her out of your life so you can 1. find someone who WANTS to be with you. 2. WHO will treat you right and 3. Move on with your life.
Are you not tired of... (read in full...)
A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?
Q. I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...
A. 17 February 2018: Why on Earth do you think you can't find someone else? Or someone better?
France has 67!!! million people - HALF of those are male! So at LEAST 10 million are men over 18 and you stick to a guy who is living with his child and the child's mother c... (read in full...)
We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?
Q. My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...
A. 15 February 2018: Why keep doing this? It doesn't sound healthy or caring at all.
Sounds like you are wasting your time. you two go around in circles over and over, either fighting, breaking up or making out? Is that really what you want?... (read in full...)
My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??
Q. A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...
A. 5 February 2018: I think first off you need to decide that IF he is cheating WHAT DO you plan to do?
Do you plan on leaving? Divorce? OR to just suck it up and stay?
I'm asking because you have to decide if this is a deal breaker or not.
If the two of y... (read in full...)
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