| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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We planned our pregnancy, now I am having second thoughts
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma..... At Christmas, my parter and I decided to come off using contraception and just to let nature take its course and see what happens. Last month, we booked our wedding and honeymoon for July next year and I went ba...
A. 25 August 2011: Freaking out is normal, and what I suspected you were doing because of your reasoning. You'll probably freak out several more times wondering what you got yourself into and if you can be a good mother, but think back on this and you will see you ... (read in full...)
Penis size worry - (4 inches)
Q. Hi Girls, can you please tell me if 4" size is ok for marriage it means 10cm is it enough to satisfy a woman? I know its not a micro penis but it is making me insecure and please advise which position is good to satisfy a woman with a 10cm penis ...
A. 4 August 2011: Visual matters, but we care far more about muscles than penis size. Chest muscles and arm muscles, and a nice firm butt are my favourites.
Women really don't care that much about your penis. ... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 4 August 2011: Touch his balls, or the spot between his balls and the anus. Or if you're risky, and he responds well, touch him closer to the anus and eventually... you know what. ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 3 August 2011: Ouch, she was listed as single? Then it's crossing the line, and I'd be wondering what else she's hiding from you.
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship and her commitment to you, because it seems she's barely attached to you and migh... (read in full...)
Can short parents have tall children?
Q. Am average my fiance is short but we are in luv with each other my question goes our children are they going to be short, average or tall?...
A. 3 August 2011: Depends on your genes. Look to the rest of your family at large, if ANYONE in your extended family are tall then there's the possibility for tall children as well. The probability is lower, but present. ... (read in full...)
Could this technique help people to keep that 'honeymoon' feeling forever?
Q. Hey everyone, i've read loads of great advice on here about the 'honeymoon phase' of relationships, and how this fades in time in all relationships, and it leaves me wondering why we stay in long term relationships then? The honeymoon phase is great ...
A. 3 August 2011: You ask as if you've never been in a relationship before. Sure, exactly, why not leave as soon as things get boring? Because you normally get emotionally attached to a person and it rips your heart out if you separate, even if the fun was already ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 3 August 2011: I'd not call it cheating. I'd call it deceitful if she kept it hidden from you, and I'd call it inappropriate if she was honest about it. Not cheating though. So far it's just window shopping, no actual purchases.
If she wants to pass time she... (read in full...)
How do I meet a woman that is worth my time?
Q. So in this past year of self reflection and detoxing myself from the dating world of getting a hook up and a crappy gf I have learned a few things. The ultimate thing it comes down to is that I am the fixer upper. I take on women with problems and ...
A. 3 August 2011: "in therapy for hoarding etc."
RedAthena what have you landed yourself in? Hahaha, Im sorry, that one just cracked me up. I'm taking notes though, I have realized I do the exact same thing. I go instinctively for the weak and needy.
Persona... (read in full...)
Insecure about his definition of cheating.....
Q. I'm very interested to know from men how they perceive this man's logic, but also to hear in general from anybody his/her thoughts on this. The other day I spoke with my one year bf and he told me about his ex's. I asked him if he was cheating...
A. 3 August 2011: "He also said that he considers cheating maintaining emotional relationship with someone else and sexual intercourse is just an adventure"
The general consensus is that sexual adventure of any sort with anyone but your partner is cheating... (read in full...)
Girls/women who have had sex: How much did it hurt the first time?
Q. I'm a virgin and I'm pretty worried about having sex for the first time. I definitely have a hymen that will need to break. When I use a certain kind of tampons that are too big, it hurts like holy hell trying to get them out - I've worried about ...
A. 3 August 2011: If you're dry it can hurt. I think when you remove those tampons that are big they have also sucked up all the moisture so you will be very dry. Hence the extra friction and pain when pulling them out. If I put a tampon in when not on my period and ... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 3 August 2011: You need to figure out what your guy wants then, because everyone is different, and you're the only one who knows your guy well enough to know, by yourself, what he will enjoy the most.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
How do I explain to my daughter that the man she thought was her dad actually wasnt her father, and he died 3 years ago?
Q. I have a 5 year old daughter. From the time she was born till she was 2 my best friend Craig was always there for her and I. My daughter called him daddy, even though he really wasn't her dad. Craig died when my daughter was 2 and ever since he...
A. 3 August 2011: What about telling her the truth? Why isn't that possible? You can touch the truth up and make it look nicer (if daddy is in jail say he's working in another country for example). ... (read in full...)
Why arent women hardwired to accept porn if all men are hardwired to watch it?
Q. If all men are "hardwired" to look at porn and women other than their girlfriends or wives then why aren't all women hardwired to be understanding and accepting of this? ...
A. 3 August 2011: Haha, Yos, love that painting!
And yes, Yos explains it well, don't need to add anything else. ... (read in full...)
Do I give up a life that has already been planned out for a man who gives me butterflies and makes my head spin?
Q. Been with a guy for over 5 years. Recently moved in together. Smooth sailing, no big issues, no big fights. Planning on having a baby in the next few years. He's a man you can trust. I know he's there for me and he's been showing me nothing but ...
A. 3 August 2011: Go with the man who gives you butterflies. Sure, it might not work, and you might be better off as friends, or you might not even get back as friends after the breakup since passionate relationships also often involve heated and passionate ... (read in full...)
I've developed feelings for my friend's 16 year old son, how can I make this go away?
Q. Well here goes : i'm just 40 (look about 30-32-so i'm told)n seem to be having a mid-life crisis!! I've lost over 6 stone and feel great. Background: I'm married with 2 young children and a lovely caring husband who is the same age. Problem: ...
A. 3 August 2011: Whatever his age is, that's not the first obstacle here. You are married. You're taken. Unavailable.
So you either stay married and forget about this kid, or you divorce and only then begin to tackle the issues considering age difference and whet... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 3 August 2011: What about just doing non erotic things for him to make him feel special? Like bake cakes or buy him beer for his football games with mates.
Just keep in mind you don't want to be taken for granted or used. Your life shouldn't revolve around p... (read in full...)
I want to watch my partner with another woman
Q. I am really confused. I am constantly feeling turned on to the idea of watching my long term partner with another female. To be blunt I want him to tell me how good it feels as its happening. It would have to be someone he will never see again,and a ...
A. 2 August 2011: Talk to him about it and have a serious conversation about it. Don't causally mention it, tell him you want to talk and have a real proper sit down, discuss it. You must however respect it if he does not want the same. If he wants to see only you, ... (read in full...)
Penis size worry - (4 inches)
Q. Hi Girls, can you please tell me if 4" size is ok for marriage it means 10cm is it enough to satisfy a woman? I know its not a micro penis but it is making me insecure and please advise which position is good to satisfy a woman with a 10cm penis ...
A. 2 August 2011: Your penis will work fine. The only way to find good positions is through practice, as everybody is different, and every woman is different so will like different things. But you are suited well enough to try out many different things.
If it... (read in full...)
Problems with my eyes when I masturbate, what can I do to stop this?
Q. I am a 25yr old boy.i am going to be married in few months.my problem is whenever i masturbate i feel as if my eyes are going inside and dark circles comes under my eyes.what can i do to stop this?...
A. 2 August 2011: Drink more water. If you are low on fluid in your body, an exercise such as masturbating can cause black-outs. Same as when you get up too quickly, or turn your head too fast, you can black-out if you haven't been drinking enough water. It's because ... (read in full...)
Guys: Are you intimidated by pretty girls?
Q. ok so im going to ask a question which im sure many of you will find sounds shallow and conceited. but i genuinely am asking because i have a problem and im not fishing for compliments or trying to make anyone angry. so if you find this question...
A. 2 August 2011: "It'll be because you obviously love yourself. Men like real women who are genuine not fixated on how attractive they are. Vanity is very unattractive. "
The anon is a jerk. Yes, you have a good self image, which is great. I also think I look hot... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 2 August 2011: "Stuff that guys think would be really hot for their gf to do."
Give him a blowjob. Nuff said. Guys aren't hard to please. ... (read in full...)
Why wont the doctors help me? what is going on with me?
Q. ok before evryone tells me to go to a doctor, iv already been but seem to be getting nowhere. iv already tried swapping doctors and getting a second opinion but because of my catchment area, the surgery wont let me see another doctor... right, long ...
A. 2 August 2011: Change doctors, or see a private doctor. Do it. You said you can't, well if you aren't allowed go to the top of the chain. See your doctors boss, write a complaint to the people responsible for health care in your area.
Definitely change doctors.... (read in full...)
14 year old guy never had a girlfriend
Q. I got a question. I don't usually compare myself to others at all but, all around me I see guys my age with girlfriends. They have girlfriends and had. While I haven't even had one yet. I don't look bad and I've got a pretty good personality. But I ...
A. 2 August 2011: It's normal. Don't worry. It's got nothing to do with looks or you not being nice or anything. It's just hard to find someone at that age that are genuine about you, many young teenagers aren't looking for relationships either, or have no idea how ... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 2 August 2011: Take away the threesome/another girl (which is just a threesome, don't know why you added it twice). Threesomes aren't "experimenting" with sex. Threesomes are their own thing. If you want to experiment you do things that only needs you and your ... (read in full...)
Three years together, then we have sex and he breaks up with me the next day!
Q. My partner (who is 37) left me (mid twenties) after having sex with me. I had been with my partnr for three years and last week, we finally had sex. At first I wanted to wait, as I had never had sex before and was afraid it would hurt and I wasn't ...
A. 2 August 2011: No one leaves because of a first bad time sex. Nuh-uh. It was something else. Maybe all the pressure? Maybe he planned to leave you for a long time now, and then thought that he'd have sex with you before he left, as a last "good-bye" thing?
... (read in full...)
Are there any happy marriages out there? Is there any hope for me and my high school sweetheart?
Q. Are there any happy marriages out there? I'm afraid that if I marry my high school sweetheart, he'll stop loving me later on and want a divorce. He's made it pretty clear that he wants a future with me, but I don't know since I hear a lot of high ...
A. 2 August 2011: That is all up to the individual and how well they know themselves. Will YOU regret not having slept around and experienced other people? No? Even if SOME regret it, not all will regret it. And even if you sleep around, experience, do whatever ... (read in full...)
At 32 I feel like life has passed me by
Q. Lately I've been feeling sad about my age; I have all these dreams but I'm scared that, at 32, I'm too old for many of them to come true. I'm afraid that it's too late and that my dreams have passed me by. I would have liked to share my life an...
A. 1 August 2011: You're being picky, and then you complain about mexican men being picky! Widen your horizon, relationships are not at all about looks, they go deeper than that, and as a human we're capable to look beyond the surface and get to know each other at a ... (read in full...)
Baby dreams at the age of 16?
Q. Hey I'm 15 and i really want a baby I'm an honour student and I'm responsible.I have thought about this so many times before, about how am i going to work with school. My friends say that I would make a great mother because I'm caring and sweet ...
A. 1 August 2011: You already know the answer to this one. But, in all sincerity, I'll be honest with you. Teenagers shouldn't have babies for a number of reasons. Most common reason being that they aren't ready, in any means. Mentally you aren't ready, even if you ... (read in full...)
I'm a 21 year old male virgin and I feel so pressured to lose it.
Q. Hi, I'm 21 soon to be 22 and I'm still a virgin. For the most part I'm OK with it 90% of the time but the other 10% is hard to deal with. Growing up I was usually the last of the bunch to do certain things (driving, dating, etc.) and I still am and ...
A. 1 August 2011: Delicate courting is called for then. Wiseoldman gave you some good pointers, and I will say the same. Women send out signals that they are available to you. But you need to turn on the player in your mind to be able to read these signals. You need ... (read in full...)
What happens when you orgasm?
Q. Hey, can anyone tell me what happens when you orgasim, im a girl and me and my boyfriend have been having sex and i csnt seem to orgasim, but csn anyone tell me what actually happens and what it feels like? thanks....
A. 1 August 2011: I get a feeling that something is building up, and it is quite pleasurable. It can be a slow build up, or sometimes long and wonderful with parts of intense pleasure that nearly tips me over the edge. I become very sensitive to different touches, ... (read in full...)
Am I just insecure? Will it make a difference if I lose weight? I want to attract a G/f.
Q. I'm really not crazy about the way I look and I'm trying to find a girlfriend. I've never had one before nor even kissed a girl. I feel that something is stopping me. I'm a nice guy, and outgoing, the problem is that I am very insecure when it come...
A. 1 August 2011: Yes, confidence makes a huge difference. Not that girls can spot you being insecure right away unless you've got a special talent for it. I've dated guys that on the surface were secure, but after getting to know them better huge insecurity issues ... (read in full...)
I'm a 21 year old male virgin and I feel so pressured to lose it.
Q. Hi, I'm 21 soon to be 22 and I'm still a virgin. For the most part I'm OK with it 90% of the time but the other 10% is hard to deal with. Growing up I was usually the last of the bunch to do certain things (driving, dating, etc.) and I still am and ...
A. 31 July 2011: The virginity issue: don't be bothered by peer pressure. Everyone likes to knock down others because they themselves feel insecure. Lie and say you're not a virgin if it gets them to back off and it starts to become annoying, or just say flat out ... (read in full...)
We planned our pregnancy, now I am having second thoughts
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma..... At Christmas, my parter and I decided to come off using contraception and just to let nature take its course and see what happens. Last month, we booked our wedding and honeymoon for July next year and I went ba...
A. 31 July 2011: Oh no... don't think about abortions. You and your partner decided to try for a baby and you got pregnant. If it was a bad time to get a baby then you should have thought about that back in December. Now you come up with all sorts of excuses for why ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is having second thoughts about marrying me?
Q. I'm a bit confused. About 5 months ago I was talking to my boyfriend of 10 months about our future and he didn't say much at all in response. I took this to mean that he wasn't interested in anything other than being boyfriend/girlfriend and just ...
A. 31 July 2011: I worry about your level of communication. You are talking marriage, yet you can't communicate with him properly about when. Why was he in such a rush at the beginning? And what did he say, what was his reaction, when you said 4 weeks was too soon? ... (read in full...)
The day before he told me he loved me, now nothing!
Q. I have been in a very toxic, deluded relationship, but got over the guy and started a thing with someone else. A sweet, loving and caring man. Sometimes we had fights, but in general everything was ok. For about 1,5 year. We talked about getting ...
A. 31 July 2011: He hasn't broken up with you yet, but he's pulling back for unknown reasons. I do think this has to do with maturity, and it is actually, in my experience, common for younger men to act this way. I had it happen to me two times already by men around ... (read in full...)
Am I experiencing a phantom pregnancy?
Q. Recently my body has been acting REALLY weirdly. My stomach has bloated out by a HUGE amount (I keep getting asked if I'm pregnant it's that bad) and it's rock hard. I honestly look 6 months pregnant. I'm getting cravings for strawberries, my boobs ...
A. 31 July 2011: Could still be a food intolerance, they develop over the years. You can be accepting of a food all your life and then one year you're intolerant or allergic. It creeps in on your without you particularly being aware, especially if it is an ... (read in full...)
Can eating ice make you gain weight?
Q. Hi, I know this isn't a relationship question but I need a serious answer as I can't find one on google. I have gained a stone in the last year and I'm worried its because of my addiction to ice? I'm very active, I don't have time for 'exercis...
A. 31 July 2011: Your body isn't in a fixed state you know, you are always developing. Gaining weight isn't unusual, unless it is radical. If you eat and do the same as usual, and gain weight, it probably just means your body is growing into full adulthood where it ... (read in full...)
Am I experiencing a phantom pregnancy?
Q. Recently my body has been acting REALLY weirdly. My stomach has bloated out by a HUGE amount (I keep getting asked if I'm pregnant it's that bad) and it's rock hard. I honestly look 6 months pregnant. I'm getting cravings for strawberries, my boobs ...
A. 31 July 2011: Whenever a belly gets big or something weird happens people seem to think it's got to be something with a pregnancy. But don't forget what the more probable cause is: stomach problems!
To me, this sounds more like an allergic reaction to a certai... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like I don't want a relationship?
Q. Lately, I have been pondering if I really want a relationship. Being a quiet, observant guy all my life, I seen how much of a hassle relationships are whether it be from school, college, or my siblings. At the same time, I do want to be in a ...
A. 29 July 2011: Well, it appears you're scared. You worry a lot. You think about the worst things that could happen, you sort of take all the pain in advance.
But, at the end of it all, you don't know if it'll turn out horrible. Maybe it'll be the best time of ... (read in full...)
How can I improve my attention span when studying?
Q. I can't be attentive in my study.when i start studying i frequently lose my attention.after reading for so many times i forget what i read the previous day.how can i complete my studies in due time with proper attention? ...
A. 29 July 2011: Oh yes, another thing. Take breaks. Read for 30 minutes, then take a 5-10 minute break. Then read again. Or decide how many pages you will read in one stretch (for example 10 pages) and then have a pause of 10 minutes (depending how quickly you ... (read in full...)
How can I improve my attention span when studying?
Q. I can't be attentive in my study.when i start studying i frequently lose my attention.after reading for so many times i forget what i read the previous day.how can i complete my studies in due time with proper attention? ...
A. 29 July 2011: Read smaller sections at a time. For example read two-three parts, then pause and recap what you read. Either say it out loud, or write small summaries for yourself. There's three ways to learn/remember the contents of a text. One is to read it. ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you ever approach an average looking girl?
Q. I am wondering if there is anything that an average looking girl could do to grab a guys attention? Is there a (non-slutty) way she could dress? A specific perfume? Any behavior? Something she could say? Have you ever developed an attraction fo...
A. 29 July 2011: Who told you you were average? And what exactly does average mean, the last time I checked there wasn't a huge bulk of "average" similarly people walking around. They all look different, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Define average if ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiancée I kissed a girl at my bachelor party?
Q. Hi, one creepy loser here. I'm getting married at the end of August and had my bachelor party last weekend. To cut a long story short I got extremely drunk at the party and kissed another girl. It lasted less than a few seconds and nothing more...
A. 29 July 2011: Being drunk is no excuse. It never is. Yes, like I said, you could have done worse, but the possibility of doing worse doesn't excuse things none the less. You are responsible for your own actions, whether at a bachelor party or not.
Anywa... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiancée I kissed a girl at my bachelor party?
Q. Hi, one creepy loser here. I'm getting married at the end of August and had my bachelor party last weekend. To cut a long story short I got extremely drunk at the party and kissed another girl. It lasted less than a few seconds and nothing more...
A. 28 July 2011: Was it a quick peck or a make-out session? Was there tongue? The way you described the kiss it sounds like a quick peck. Any idea why it happened?
Quick pecks are fine. Well, they're not supposed to happen, but it isn't the end of the world, n... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
