| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Struggling to lose my virginity because of the pain. What can I do to be more relaxed?
Q. I'm having a very hard time with losing my virginity. I'm 20 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I've tried several times to lose my virginity, but it just never seems to go right. We've tried every position we could think ...
A. 2 September 2011: Good to hear back from you, have you given any of the suggestions a try? Has things worked out?
Another option is to focus on inserting the tip of the penis, and not the entire penis at once.
Or use vibrators, or dildoes. Do you have any of ... (read in full...)
He flirted with me like crazy but then stopped talking to me! What should I do?
Q. Okay. So one of my best friends who i have been in love with for at least 2 years.. Well he lives right down the roads from my dads and i snuck out to see him. We were just chilling by a pond on a bench and he kissed me. Then we were making out and ...
A. 22 August 2011: Did you try calling him? Or visiting him? Do you see him in person at school? Just try to talk to him about it and get the story straight, that's much better than trying to come up with reasons for his actions on your own. ... (read in full...)
Struggling to lose my virginity because of the pain. What can I do to be more relaxed?
Q. I'm having a very hard time with losing my virginity. I'm 20 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. I've tried several times to lose my virginity, but it just never seems to go right. We've tried every position we could think ...
A. 22 August 2011: How about just doing it? Have a terrible first time screaming in pain and agony, but at least you'll be getting it over with. And, it can't possibly be the worst pain you'll ever be in in life, just think about giving birth. Something way bigger ... (read in full...)
Why does being a "Nice Guy" get me nowhere?
Q. My virginity doesn't bother me that much, on most days at least, but I do feel a bit sad over the fact that I've never been in a relationship, NEVER. I'm 22 and nothing! I'm starting to feel that if I don't end up in relationship I'll never get ...
A. 22 August 2011: "Apparently, I'm described as a "Nice Guy" and I'm recently finding out that girls don't like that, for some reason."
Have you written here before? Because this is an age old excuse. But if you're fresh here, I want you to read these two threads,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too soft in bed. Any tips on how to make him give it to me rough?
Q. My boyfriend is too soft in bed. if im being honest, looks wise, i am out of his league, but he is cute. he treats me all the time and i love him. he is okay is in bed. he is very good at passionate sex, when we are both taking it slow, but ...
A. 22 August 2011: You've not had sex that long. Some partners are an immediate match in bed, but even then there is ALWAYS room for improvement. Be patient and don't stress it. You said he's a great lover, passionate, enjoy it. Other forms of sex will come in time. ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love online. He's a college drop-out, an aspiring writer and musician, he never finishes his work
Q. I have...a very odd situation, but I guess everyone thinks that. I've fallen in love online. With someone about 6 and a half years older than me. The reality of the situation is that he's a college drop out who wants to make it as a writer and...
A. 21 August 2011: You have a fascination for him. He's not relationship material, he's not good for you, and you know he won't ever make you happy. But you love the dream and "if only this or that was different". Well it's not, and it's no one elses fault but his ... (read in full...)
Why can't I get women to be interested in me?
Q. It's hard for me to express this accurately but I might as well try. Now you see my love life leaves something to be desired so to speak. I've been single for multiple years now and when I look back at previous relationships the truth is calling ...
A. 21 August 2011: It's impossible to say without asking you to try it on me. Try your moves and I'll let you know if I can identify the problem. Now this might not be a normal answer, but it's the only way to know. If you don't mind a little role play. Lets say you ... (read in full...)
Create A Checklist For Your First Date
Q. So you landed the date that you wanted with the person that captured your interest. How should you plan it to make sure things go well? Make sure you set up a simple checklist. Here's what you can include: #1. Choice of Clothes and Accessorie...
A. 21 August 2011: Coming from a recent date, here's one thing not to do: rushing it.
You don't want to come off as desperate, so keep your hands to yourself. A greeting hug can be acceptable if your date initiates it, otherwise do not engage in physical contact ... (read in full...)
Are love spells considered to be 'witchcraft'?
Q. Are love spells considered a Witchcraft type of practice or anything of that sort that deals with the dark side?...
A. 21 August 2011: Yes. It's dark magic. ... (read in full...)
I've been a serial cheater but now my life is in a mess
Q. Firstly I know I have brought this on myself but here goes, I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, and she is and was everything I could wish for and treated me better than anyone ever has but still I have cheated on her like I have with all ...
A. 21 August 2011: Be honest. Be honest with the girls about everything. Tell the new girl you don't want her. Tough luck. But it's been only 3 months, and she cheated on her own partner with you, to be honest she has made her own bed and you're not responsible for ... (read in full...)
I was hurt and now I hate women
Q. I don't know if anyone here can really help me with this but here it goes. Im currently 21 and over the years I have grown to hate women despite being raised in a loving household with loving mother and sisters it just happened I felt this way about ...
A. 21 August 2011: You can find help. But you need to reach out for help in order to get it. You don't have to stay like this forever, at least it is too early to make that prediction. Seek a therapist, a psychiatrist or psychologist. They might be expensive, or have ... (read in full...)
14 year old student hitting on me. How do I solve this?
Q. This 14 year old girl has a obsessive crush on me. It all started when I was looking for a part time job. I’m a college student and I’m living in an apartment with my roommates. As I was good in maths I decided to teach maths at high school to t...
A. 21 August 2011: She's a teenage drama queen and you want to NOT upset her? Everything she does upsets her and she brought it upon herself too. So no need to feel sorry for her. Lay it out simple and straight "I'm your teacher and you are my student, nothing more ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too soft in bed. Any tips on how to make him give it to me rough?
Q. My boyfriend is too soft in bed. if im being honest, looks wise, i am out of his league, but he is cute. he treats me all the time and i love him. he is okay is in bed. he is very good at passionate sex, when we are both taking it slow, but ...
A. 21 August 2011: How long have you been together, and how long have you been having sex? Are you in love with him? How old is he and how old are you?
It's hard to say much unless you tell me these things. Yes, things can get better, but it all depends on how long... (read in full...)
We didn't live together before marriage so I never knew the extent of his drinking
Q. Dear all, im married 6 months but hadnt lived together beforehand. My main problem is my husband drinks a lot whilst i really dont like drink but would take a glass of wine the odd time. I knew he liked a beer. Now that i live with him i find ...
A. 21 August 2011: I think he has a drinking problem. But it isn't about how much he drinks or how often. The drinking becomes a problem when it negatively affects your life. In this case it does. It worries you, it makes the relationship go sour because he is doing ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my 26 year old BF now says he is "too young" for marriage?
Q. What can a man do when he is in a committed relationship that he cannot do once he gets engaged? I ask because my boyfriend of several years (who I live with) told me last week that he was too young for a marriage committment at 26 when we were tal...
A. 20 August 2011: He's scared. I don't know what else to tell you, but he's scared, and it's not about the practical aspect of it. I think you and him see it differently in this case. You are logical, think about the here and now's, that nothing physically changes, ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my second cousin but she doesn't love me back
Q. my mother's sister's husband's brother's daughter. i am in love with her she calls me her second cousin . i really need an answer and she doesn't love me, i am like addicted to her. i know that i cant do that but i cant control my feelings ...
A. 20 August 2011: It will fade in time. Right now it seems unbearable, but it will fade as you get older and understand how to move on. It is a mature thing to be able to control your feelings and not let them develop for someone who is unavailable. It is hard, but ... (read in full...)
Does this person like me for anything more than sex?
Q. This boy who ive known since seventh grade wants to have sex with me. We are both virgins, he's really mature and practical but I'm idealistic and emotional. When I first met him in seventh grade, I had a crush on him. So I actually liked him. Ever ...
A. 20 August 2011: You need to stop being so overly worried as you're allowing any guy to take advantage of you if you're going to be sad about "misleading" them. Guy's take advantage of that weakness, so for your own protection stop worrying about hurting them. You ... (read in full...)
Does this person like me for anything more than sex?
Q. This boy who ive known since seventh grade wants to have sex with me. We are both virgins, he's really mature and practical but I'm idealistic and emotional. When I first met him in seventh grade, I had a crush on him. So I actually liked him. Ever ...
A. 19 August 2011: He's a teenage boy, they think about sex constantly. If you want him for something else other than that you'll have to wait for him to grow up. Don't feel pressured or like you are leading him on, you have not led him on. He's the one who's been ... (read in full...)
How to cure only child syndrome?
Q. My boyfriend has serious only child syndrome and I dont know how to deal with it. It is starting to really irritate me. He often makes me feel like everything is on his terms, e.g. when we see each other, what we do, what movies we see, what games ...
A. 19 August 2011: I have no idea how to cure someone from being selfish and egocentric. Unfortunately I don't think he'll ever change, or it will take him the net 20 years to change (as it took him 20 years to get to where he is today). People don't change.
The p... (read in full...)
Do women really like the direct approach my friend says he takes?
Q. I have recently discovered a very secret side to a good colleague and friend of mine. He’s a few years older than me at 35, not particularly good looking I would think, not really rich either. Just a regular guy (like me!). I knew for quite some ...
A. 19 August 2011: Could work, if he's got charm. Then again I am sure he gets his share of rejections as well, he just needs to ask new women until he gets a response.
But, why jealous? Your friend is a wh%#e, why would you want to be like that, no offense?... (read in full...)
How can I let him down nicely but make it clear we are over?
Q. My ex-boyfriend is behaving differently to the usual, even being irritating with me and I think it's because he wants to get back together. We were kind of in an open relationship for about 1.5yrs and then we dated for about 4 months before I ...
A. 18 August 2011: Did you already have plans? So when he asked you to meet up you said "I'd love to meet up again, but not this weekend since I already have plans. How about in the week?" Or did you tell him "Sure we'll meet up" and then waited a day or so to tell ... (read in full...)
Can someone explain French kissing to me?
Q. So french kissing is new to me and today, my bf and i were making out and he slipped the tongue for the first time but i didn't know what to do with it! i found myself wrapping my lip on it and I'm about 100% sure that's not what you're supposed to ...
A. 17 August 2011: Do it again and experiment, that is the only way you will learn. But the main idea is for your tongue to meet his, your tongue isn't suppose to explore his mouth or pick his teeth.. it's to meet his tongue and play with it. Don't stick it in too far ... (read in full...)
I get turned on by female porn am I gay?
Q. I have a man that satifies me in everyway an I've been straight from long as I no I never done sexual activities with a female or even thought about it bt I mastabate to gay porn an wen I see a girls porn picture Its the only way I can come if I put ...
A. 16 August 2011: You're straight. You have sex with a man, and have never had sex with a woman. That means you're straight. Porn is porn, it isn't an indicator of real life preferences. ... (read in full...)
Life without sex is destroying me
Q. hi their. Can i have some views on sexless relationships. I have a high sex drive. And my future wife has none. So i masturbate quite a bit. I think my partners low sex drive is mainly due to her body image. She feels she is fat and unattractive. ...
A. 16 August 2011: What has she said to this? This problem is such a big one that I wouldn't advise you to marry her. But you are going to marry her, and you love her, and you have a child together... So yes, you are willingly walking into a sexless relationship. It ... (read in full...)
The little things are starting to get to me.....any advice?
Q. My wife and I have been married a little over a year and we have been together for 5 years. I love my wife but i'm forseeing problems that I don't know we can help. Everyone has their hangups. Not flushing the toilet sometimes, being a little messy, ...
A. 16 August 2011: Install spell check on your computer. It is really simple. Or buy her a dictionary. Or leave the room when she's typing.
She'll get by on her own, she got by without you before, and she can do it now. The only reason she keeps asking is because ... (read in full...)
The girl I love has slept around and partied a lot in the past
Q. you guys! i have really loved you all. i know this is three years later but what most of you are talking about is my story and what i am going through now. i love this girl and she tells me that she loves me. i am a virgin who has always wanted to ...
A. 15 August 2011: Well, clearly you can not have a relationship with her when you resent her. It's ok, you have different morals. But you must accept this as a part of yourself, you must accept that there is no way you can be happy with this woman, even if you love ... (read in full...)
Drunken unprotected sex during one night stand has me freaking out!
Q. I feel like the dumbest person ever I got so drunk. That I ended up having sex with a guy and did not use a condom and he came in me! We immediately went got the plan B bill and I'm so afraid of pregnancy hiv/aids or stds.. please help me someone. ...
A. 15 August 2011: Go to your doctor and get tested. That's what you must do. Then wait for results and deal with what may be. Until then, no need to freak out, but don't have sex with your husband until you know for sure whether or not you are pregnant or have an ... (read in full...)
He tells me some men take advantage, and I am paranoid he is one who will
Q. my boyfriend is younger than me. He is from a different country and is muslim. He wants to get married in the next few weeks at the local register office. and would like a baby. He lives with his cousins but has been staying with me every night ...
A. 15 August 2011: Uhm... this is suspicious. Sounds almost as if he knows all too well how "some men" will take advantage.
Never mix money with relationships. Nu-uh. Don't do it. It isn't about trust, it's about being stupid or being smart. Stupid would be to gi... (read in full...)
Is high status a turn on for women?
Q. For those women who care what others think of their BFs, is high status itself (not his confidence) a sexual turn on like boobs are for men? Eg. a TV presenter, CEO, famous musician, etc....
A. 15 August 2011: Yes. Hight status is a turn on. Money too, and if the two are combined you're a chick magnet. However, it might be the wrong kind of girl, so watch out. Many will just do it to brag about it, same as some men will brag about who they got in bed... ... (read in full...)
What is the proper etiquette with friends when out clubbing?
Q. Just wondering on the general perception of ettiquite in this scenario. If you're out partying at a club with just one friend, and someone tries to hook up with you, is it acceptable to just casually make out with them while your friend just chil...
A. 15 August 2011: You do as you please and let the friend fend for herself. She's old enough to buy alcohol, then she's old enough to be on her own. You're out together as FRIENDS, not as a baby sitter. ... (read in full...)
We were having a great time till I pulled out a condom!
Q. I drove 6 hours one way this weekend to meet up with this girl I met the other week we hit it off pretty good but she wouldn't let me put it in. We were both messing around alot but still did not go all the way. We showered together and slept naked ...
A. 15 August 2011: She didn't want sex, I think. ... (read in full...)
Unexperienced boyfriend is making me feel bad about wanting oral sex
Q. Hi, aunts and uncles! Should I be offended by my boyfriend's bedroom etiquette? My boyfriend is a bit immature. He is 21 and I am his first serious girlfriend. Before me, he was a virgin and just lost is virginity last week. So, I've been trying...
A. 15 August 2011: Oh, he's both immature and rude. Don't do him any favours until he learns what it means to give in the sack, and not only take. You're his first so you need to teach him what's good and what's bad, so don't let him develop any nasty habits.
That ... (read in full...)
Does losing your virginity make your more vulnerable to that person?
Q. Does losing your virginity to a boyfriend/girlfriend make one more clingy to them? Specifically to the guys, were you more attached to the girl you lost your virginity to, assuming you were in a relationship? I ask because my current boyfrien...
A. 15 August 2011: Depends on the person, but in general I would say yes, that guys do get more attached to their girlfriend after they've had sex, especially if it was their very first time. But how this attachment shows is unclear, for some it can mean they get ... (read in full...)
Why do creeps ask girls if they are virgins?
Q. Why do creepy guys and perverts ask teenage girls "Are you a virgin"?...
A. 15 August 2011: Because they are creeps and rude? Tell the girls not to answer and that it's none of their business to ask such questions. ... (read in full...)
Leave a condom inside?
Q. Why would a guy leave the condom he used inside the girl?...
A. 15 August 2011: Maybe he doesn't know how to use it? Correct him please, and tell him he needs to pull it out with himself.... Or else he might get her pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that we can remain as friends?
Q. Is there such a thing as being friends with your ex? I just broke up with this guy, i love him in fact I'm in love with him but i've had enough of the relationship. he says he still loves me but i think like me he's also had enough. i do want to ...
A. 14 August 2011: It's possible to be friends when the romantic feelings have gone away. If they aren't gone you only end up hurt if you stay in touch. What happens when one of you find someone new? It will be devastating for the ex to witness, even if a long time ... (read in full...)
I really want him to go down on me, but how soon after my period?
Q. Oral after period? I finished yesterday, and when I was masturbating a bit came out, not loads barely enough to complain about. When I am aroused and wet, nothing comes out. My date with my boyfriend is Monday night, I don't see him that often a...
A. 14 August 2011: Well, maybe by tomorrow it will be gone. But, lay down, don't sit over him. Because if you lay down, if there is something left it might not come out. But if you sit up while he licks you, or sit over his face, because of gravity it might come out. ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after I wrote him this?......
Q. "Its Saturday, Again you ignore my calls. Its the same thing you do every Saturday. Last time it was because you forgot your phone, the other two saturdays was because of family problems. Every Saturday theres a new excuse, every saturday night when ...
A. 14 August 2011: He sounds like a waste of your time. Find someone else who is more grateful for having you in his life. The man you are with right now will not change for you, and he will never become a man of his word for you. So do not break your heart more for ... (read in full...)
She's surrounded by men in the workplace -- might she feel some attraction?
Q. My question is this. I've wondered about someone I work with and since I cant read minds dont really know what she thinks. If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job require...
A. 14 August 2011: It's easy to forget about her. Scout for someone else to shift your attention over to. Or imagine her husband each time you see her. Or imagine some lousy quality about her, say... you wouldn't feel comfortable being with her anyway because that ... (read in full...)
I don't want to fall for an idiot again!
Q. Over a month ago I had a conversation with my then boyfriend, he told me that he didn't love me and later went on to kick me out of our rented house ( he stayed because i couldn't afford it on my own). He gave me a week and i just packed up and left ...
A. 14 August 2011: See your doctor if you want, they could refer you to someone you can talk to. My only worry is that it might cost you money and add an extra stress to you. How about other family, or friends? Do you have someone you can lean on? The reason you feel ... (read in full...)
I hear my parents arguing about sex and it's grossing me out!
Q. Hello all. This is not really a question regarding myself beyond the fact beyond that the situation is seriously traumatizing me and really, starting to piss me off. My mom went through menopause 5 years ago and apparently, no longer posses...
A. 14 August 2011: She's afraid he'll force herself on her? You know what? I call that a bluff and a drama show. If she was afraid he'd force himself on her she'd call the POLICE, not insist that her daughter stays around and then uses you as some shield against her ... (read in full...)
I like wearing makeup but he dislikes it. How do I negotiate some sort of compromise or a truce?
Q. My problem is that I love to wear make-up but my boyfriend hates it. I've been wearing makeup for years now and I always feel more comfortable wearing it. The issue is that my boyfriend recently told me that he thinks I wear too much makeup. This h...
A. 13 August 2011: Don't ever change for a man! Ever! Stay true to who you are, and if he doesn't like it he can take a hike. You'll regret it if you change for him, and you'll start to resent him as well.
You don't wear lipstick at night so he can kiss you then... (read in full...)
She's surrounded by men in the workplace -- might she feel some attraction?
Q. My question is this. I've wondered about someone I work with and since I cant read minds dont really know what she thinks. If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job require...
A. 13 August 2011: "If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job requires you to talk to various men all day, many of whom are also attractive and some single, do you find this difficult, or ... (read in full...)
I don't want to fall for an idiot again!
Q. Over a month ago I had a conversation with my then boyfriend, he told me that he didn't love me and later went on to kick me out of our rented house ( he stayed because i couldn't afford it on my own). He gave me a week and i just packed up and left ...
A. 11 August 2011: One thing at a time. You've got too much on your hands right now to even think about what your next boyfriend should be like, you need to sort out your ex first. Don't fall for his nice act, remember how mean and cruel he was to you and that he ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
