| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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She's surrounded by men in the workplace -- might she feel some attraction?
Q. My question is this. I've wondered about someone I work with and since I cant read minds dont really know what she thinks. If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job require...
A. 14 August 2011: It's easy to forget about her. Scout for someone else to shift your attention over to. Or imagine her husband each time you see her. Or imagine some lousy quality about her, say... you wouldn't feel comfortable being with her anyway because that ... (read in full...)
I don't want to fall for an idiot again!
Q. Over a month ago I had a conversation with my then boyfriend, he told me that he didn't love me and later went on to kick me out of our rented house ( he stayed because i couldn't afford it on my own). He gave me a week and i just packed up and left ...
A. 14 August 2011: See your doctor if you want, they could refer you to someone you can talk to. My only worry is that it might cost you money and add an extra stress to you. How about other family, or friends? Do you have someone you can lean on? The reason you feel ... (read in full...)
I like wearing makeup but he dislikes it. How do I negotiate some sort of compromise or a truce?
Q. My problem is that I love to wear make-up but my boyfriend hates it. I've been wearing makeup for years now and I always feel more comfortable wearing it. The issue is that my boyfriend recently told me that he thinks I wear too much makeup. This h...
A. 13 August 2011: Don't ever change for a man! Ever! Stay true to who you are, and if he doesn't like it he can take a hike. You'll regret it if you change for him, and you'll start to resent him as well.
You don't wear lipstick at night so he can kiss you then... (read in full...)
She's surrounded by men in the workplace -- might she feel some attraction?
Q. My question is this. I've wondered about someone I work with and since I cant read minds dont really know what she thinks. If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job require...
A. 13 August 2011: "If you are an attractive married woman, working in large open plan office, with many people working, and your job requires you to talk to various men all day, many of whom are also attractive and some single, do you find this difficult, or ... (read in full...)
don't want to waste my time with a 'Go Nowhere" relationship. But am I wasting my time giving him another chance?
Q. My ex and I have been friends for 3 years and dated for 1.5 years. While we were friends we liked each other but he never did anything about it, when I tried to get him to date me. So eventually I said forget it and I started talking to someone else...
A. 13 August 2011: You did decide he wasn't someone for you, right? Which is why you ended it. Nothing has changed really. He's still not finished his education, he doesn't have a career, and you've already seen how his sense of economics is. What's changed about ... (read in full...)
ARE men really turned off by virgins?
Q. Why are men turned off by virgins? What is it about virgins that scare men?...
A. 13 August 2011: I have no idea, but I agree, men are scared off by virgins. I think it is because you must be committed before you take someones virginity, that you will have to wait and be serious in the relationship, and as the saying goes, men are scared of ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to go down on me but my period's not quite finished. Pls Help!
Q. my boyfriend wants to go down on me but I have my period it's nearly finished? What shall I do!!! we don't get much time together so when he is here, I want it to be special, but I have had my period for about 4 days or so now and; their light...
A. 13 August 2011: Tell him it'll have to wait for another time! There is little to no chance that you will feel comfortable with him down there when you are still on your period. Yes, things might come out, and you also smell differently, and the taste would be ... (read in full...)
What body type do ladies find attractive?
Q. Everyone will have a different answer, I know, but... what type of body do you girls like in an 18 year old lad? As in skinny, slim and toned, bulky or lots of softness? I'm doing a bit of weight training to get biger and just wondered what people ...
A. 12 August 2011:
Body types per definition aren't as important as the way you look after yourself. Any woman is happy as long as you keep healthy, work out (no need for extremes, just the regulars to stay healthy and fit), and are stronger than her. ... (read in full...)
Constant arguments are straining our relationship
Q. My name is Veronica, ill be 18 next month, i dont know if our younge ages effect our relationship my fiance is 20, yes i am engaged.. im constantly arguing with, i feel like this is just pushing us apart, we have 2 baby girls so that builds m...
A. 12 August 2011: It's the age. You are both inexperienced with relationships and arguments and how to deal with conflicts. It's something you learn through practice really. You need to have self discipline, learn what battles are worth fighting and which things you ... (read in full...)
Why can't I move on from the ex that took my virginity?
Q. Why can't I move on from my ex that took my virginity and it's sad because it's been months already and I still haven't moved on. But he has and he found a girl that he wants to spend a long time with and it's killing me inside. How long ...
A. 12 August 2011: How long has it been? Getting over someone takes time! Give yourself more than a few months, he meant a lot to you and played an important role in your life. It'll take time to get over him, and if it takes more than a few months then don't worry, ... (read in full...)
Should I wait or let b/f know I'm ready for sex
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been exploring each others bodies and unrolling condoms.We are now ready to start having full intercourse for the 1st time.I really want to please him so I was wondering if I should go vocal regardless-or wait and see how ...
A. 12 August 2011: I suggest you focus on your own pleasure, and not his. He'll feel good enough ok? Don't worry about him. Focus on YOU, and first time sex is usually a much worse experience for the woman than the man. YOU need to be looked after, pampered, and taken ... (read in full...)
How do I show my fwb guy that I'm not letting myself go?
Q. hi everyone my fwb of 6 months says im letting myself go with my looks as i spend to much time concentrating on my son how do i surprise him and show him im not letting myself go thanks ...
A. 12 August 2011: I do agree with the rest on a few points though.... this is a man who has no commitment to you, then you vice versa have no commitment to him. In other words, he doesn't have a right to complain, and if he does complain he needs to zip his pants up ... (read in full...)
Would you date a girl who had many sugar daddies??
Q. So I met this girl. Real pretty. Grew up in Europe (Czech Rep.). Dated a few times. Then she tells me about her sugar daddies. For those who dont know a sugar daddy is an older man who gives money to young women in exchange for sexual favors. ...
A. 12 August 2011: Actually, I think the answer to this is a lot easier than you might think. Don't date her. You have a problem with this, and don't feel good about it, and that's all there is to it. Whether or not it is common in Eastern Europe, or if you live in a ... (read in full...)
We cant go anywhere because he used to go to these places with his ex!
Q. My bf and I live in a small town, so there is only one cinema, one shopping cnetre etc. Now his ex also lives in the same small town (whereas I am from another city). Because him and his ex used to go to the cinema, shopping centre, coffee s...
A. 12 August 2011: Oh my god, your boyfriend needs to snap into reality. Take of the silken gloves and give him a piece of the real world. Lay it down, just how it is: he's being childish. If he wants a relationship with YOU and not his EX, he needs to stop labeling ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that guys forget their girlfriends when they are around their friends?
Q. I don't understand sometimes what's up with my bf. Ok, we currently live together. During workdays, he gets to go home first and he always never fails to follow-up on me if I am on my way home or always ask me why I was late for only a few minutes ...
A. 12 August 2011: Are you dependent on his text for some reason? I think if you are, if you feel the need to get a text or a call, talk to him about it. Shouldn't be too difficult to do. But I advice you to think clearly about why you wish this. Getting "checked up ... (read in full...)
Is it normal that guys forget their girlfriends when they are around their friends?
Q. I don't understand sometimes what's up with my bf. Ok, we currently live together. During workdays, he gets to go home first and he always never fails to follow-up on me if I am on my way home or always ask me why I was late for only a few minutes ...
A. 11 August 2011: I think it's a normal thing period. To be honest, when you're around others it is rude to always sit on your phone texting or reporting back to the significant other, unless it is for a specific reason.
When he's alone he misses company, and if h... (read in full...)
I don't want to fall for an idiot again!
Q. Over a month ago I had a conversation with my then boyfriend, he told me that he didn't love me and later went on to kick me out of our rented house ( he stayed because i couldn't afford it on my own). He gave me a week and i just packed up and left ...
A. 11 August 2011: One thing at a time. You've got too much on your hands right now to even think about what your next boyfriend should be like, you need to sort out your ex first. Don't fall for his nice act, remember how mean and cruel he was to you and that he ... (read in full...)
Will my penis still grow at 19?
Q. This is a pretty embarrassing question but can my penis still grow at 19? I just turned 19 and my penis is exactly 5 inches. I know that is somewhat average, but it just feels really small to me. I've read a lot of studies and statistics and MOST ...
A. 11 August 2011: I hope your penis doesn't grow more, when it's the perfect size right now... Be careful what you wish for.
Your "statistics" are wrong I think too. The average is in either end of 3.9 to 6.9 inches, not spot on 5 inches.
How many times do yo... (read in full...)
Tomorrow is my last chance with him, I need a plan fast!
Q. This week, I met a really gorgeous guy at a Radio Course. First moment we saw each other, we were definately examining the other's potential. Within just the first few hours, there was a connection, and we got along really well. We have lots in ...
A. 11 August 2011: The course hasn't ended yet, so before you think of volunteering for a longer period of time, see what tomorrow brings. Make yourself available for conversation with him, try not to be too busy or occupied so that he will get a chance to talk to ... (read in full...)
I cant get rid of the evidence!
Q. Hello, This is soooo embarassing but basically my mum has been away for a week and so is my dad so my boy friend came round and had sex. However when he climaxed the semen leaked onto my bed and there is now a large yellowey stain on my covers, ...
A. 10 August 2011: Turn the covers over? Or put in the washing machine when they aren't around. Let it soak for a while as well, maybe add some stain remover to it and let it soak in that.
Alternatively, if nothing else works, spill red wine over the stain and they... (read in full...)
It is a crime to upload sexy picture and could they be found on the internet later?
Q. i want to upload some racy pictures on net of my girlfriend..dey arent nude but are sexy showing a little bit of cleavage here and there.. my questions are 1)i am from india and so is it a crime to upload pictures of my gf on net 2)is it safe and ...
A. 8 August 2011: Oh, and YES, the pictures can and most likely will be misused, it is NOT safe. Anything that is online can be used for almost anything, you might even see the same pictures in a porn magazine next thing you know, or have them stolen by someone else ... (read in full...)
It is a crime to upload sexy picture and could they be found on the internet later?
Q. i want to upload some racy pictures on net of my girlfriend..dey arent nude but are sexy showing a little bit of cleavage here and there.. my questions are 1)i am from india and so is it a crime to upload pictures of my gf on net 2)is it safe and ...
A. 8 August 2011: It is illegal to post pictures online of anyone other than yourself. You should not do this against your girlfriend if you respect her the least. It's be a horrible thing of you to do. And yes, if they are online they are on there FOR EVER, and can ... (read in full...)
Finding that special girl is so hard...how can I meet my dream girl who meets my standards?
Q. Ok, im making this question because whenever i tell someone what i want in a girl, im misundertood and generally dont get empathy with people. What i want i a girl is obviously that i like her, both physically and mentally, that she doesnt do drugs...
A. 7 August 2011: Well, you just have to be very open about it. You have to say that you are looking for someone who is also a virgin and be open about that, so that if you do happen to meet a woman who is a virgin she will know she's got a chance with you. Then... (read in full...)
Want to have sex with my cousin, need advice??
Q. hi my age is 18. I am male. I want to have sex with my cousin, she is also 18. Just 1 month elder than me. Plz tell me how to seduce her....
A. 7 August 2011: Marry her first. Then she will have sex with you. ... (read in full...)
Is he still loyal to me? Or is he besotted with this girl at his work who looks like a porn star?
Q. i am distrustful of my boyfriend so logged into his computer without him knowing. i searched through his internet history and found that he had found porn star images that look exactly like a girl who he works. And I know that girl at his work likes ...
A. 7 August 2011: "then why did he save
the page as HER NAME, because it does look like her..."
What, he saved the page in the name of the girl he knows at work?
I think I'd leave him, unless there's any particularly good reasons to stay (and the "I love hi... (read in full...)
Finding that special girl is so hard...how can I meet my dream girl who meets my standards?
Q. Ok, im making this question because whenever i tell someone what i want in a girl, im misundertood and generally dont get empathy with people. What i want i a girl is obviously that i like her, both physically and mentally, that she doesnt do drugs...
A. 7 August 2011: Well, at the end of the day you do what you want to do of course. My response was not meant to try and convince you otherwise, just a little heads up. Losing virginity before the age of 18 might be counted as a mistake to you, but you're bound to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says my vagina is wide. I've never had kids, so what is he talking about?
Q. I'm 18. I've sex with my bf. But he said my vaginal is wide, he feels its empty when he puts it in. I dont know why my vaginal is wide. He's normal, not too big and not too small. I never have kid or abortion. I dont know why. Who can explain it to ...
A. 6 August 2011: Next time he says it you ask him "maybe it's your penis that is too small?"
That ought to fix the problem. ... (read in full...)
How can we rely solely on my income? Is boyfriend careless or lazy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four months and things are going fairly well, but like most relationships, can be improved. In my case, it is about work. When we got together, he was starting a new job which was pretty well paid. ...
A. 6 August 2011: Continue the relationship and see where it goes, but DO NOT PAY FOR HIM. You aren't married. Don't pay his way for him, don't let him move in for free or do anything else. Do not mix finances with relationships! Keep your money away from him until ... (read in full...)
Finding that special girl is so hard...how can I meet my dream girl who meets my standards?
Q. Ok, im making this question because whenever i tell someone what i want in a girl, im misundertood and generally dont get empathy with people. What i want i a girl is obviously that i like her, both physically and mentally, that she doesnt do drugs...
A. 6 August 2011: Well, I lost my virginity to a man who was also a virgin, by chance. It didn't make it any more special if that's what you think... This idea that it is special is mental, it's something you have created in your mind. I'm just saying, so you don't ... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 5 August 2011: Male anon said: "First you say there is nothing wrong with a man not wanting to date a woman with kids. Then you proceed to explain their choice by basically saying they are mentally inferior to men who will accept your kids. "
That's not what the... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing breaking up with my b/f who I think has retroactive jealousy?
Q. I need to know if I did the right thing in breakn it off with my bf of 2 yrs... I believe he has retroactive jealousy.. I've been reading about it and it clrealy sound he has that... my past is a real big issue to him... he constanlty puts me down ...
A. 5 August 2011: A partner shouldn't belittle or talk down the other, no matter what. That is not how a lasting and healthy relationship is made, and you shouldn't ever be someone's punching bag. The thing is, if they don't respect you and treat you as their equal, ... (read in full...)
I've discovered my penis is smaller than average and its really messing with my mind!
Q. I've recently done some research and I've found out the WORST possible news. I've discovered that my penis is below average in all aspects. I've been concerned with this for years and it's one of the reasons I've turned down or just didn't atte...
A. 5 August 2011: Excuse me but that's not below average, that's pretty average actually. Where did you get your information? The average penis length is 3.9 to 7.9 inches. You're in that zone, so relax.
You're also fairly big if I may add, I don't think you've e... (read in full...)
Finding that special girl is so hard...how can I meet my dream girl who meets my standards?
Q. Ok, im making this question because whenever i tell someone what i want in a girl, im misundertood and generally dont get empathy with people. What i want i a girl is obviously that i like her, both physically and mentally, that she doesnt do drugs...
A. 5 August 2011: Well.. to be honest I don't understand the virginity issue either. You didn't make it clear exactly WHY you want her to be a virgin, other than that you yourself as a virgin. But, then what?
"I know that people make mistakes, but i want someone ... (read in full...)
His penis is to large and he hates it making our sex infrequent, what can I do?
Q. I'm 26, my boyfriend's 28, we've been together for a month now. He's a lovely guy; kind, caring, decent. However, we've only had sex infrequently. Reason why? His penis is too large and he HATES it, absolutely HATES it; he says women should "...
A. 5 August 2011: Masturbation shouldn't be painful to him. That would be odd. Talk to him more about it and encourage him to see his doctor if masturbation hurts him. You didn't say it hurt YOU, only that it hurts him... So how does it work out? Is it he who exp... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said if I leave to clear my head again our relationship will be over!
Q. do you think my bf of 10 months is being reasonable with this ultimatum? he says our relationship will be over if i go for a walk to clear my head ever again, which sounds crazy to me! sometimes, if i'm upset, annoyed or stressed about something, i ...
A. 5 August 2011: To be honest? It depends on when it is you take your walks, but here's the thing. I can't stand it if people walk out in the middle of a fight. It's unacceptable. It's annoying. It's belittling, offensive, and walking away doesn't solve the problem. ... (read in full...)
Afraid of illness - how can I get rid of this fear?
Q. Time ago I read an article about brain cancer and now I'm deadly afraid of having it ever in my life. I know everybody can get it, I don't have any complaints and I feel good , but still I'm afraid. I'm just 19 years old and I'm searching myself for ...
A. 4 August 2011: You don't have brain cancer, but you have something else: hypochondria.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/9983.php
I don't know how you can battle this without seeking professional help from a therapist. It could be you need to accept t... (read in full...)
What's the difference between pre cum and ejaculate
Q. First of all, please excuse me if i appeared to be ignorant with my questions because i don't have many sexual experiences as my boyfriend is my first. 1) is it normal for girls to get a tear between her private area and anus after sex? at first...
A. 4 August 2011: The tear is not normal. Well, it's normal as a result of something happening to you (as in, it is normal to get a cut of you slice yourself with the knife), but if sex was as it should be then, no, not normal. You shouldn't be in pain! Not during ... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 4 August 2011: Tell him the truth perhaps? He asked you, so he should be prepared for an honest answer. Or are you trying to shelter him from the truth and "protect" him somehow? The fact of the matter is he is too emotionally and financially unstable for you to ... (read in full...)
Penis size worry - (4 inches)
Q. Hi Girls, can you please tell me if 4" size is ok for marriage it means 10cm is it enough to satisfy a woman? I know its not a micro penis but it is making me insecure and please advise which position is good to satisfy a woman with a 10cm penis ...
A. 4 August 2011: Visual matters, but we care far more about muscles than penis size. Chest muscles and arm muscles, and a nice firm butt are my favourites.
Women really don't care that much about your penis. ... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 4 August 2011: Touch his balls, or the spot between his balls and the anus. Or if you're risky, and he responds well, touch him closer to the anus and eventually... you know what. ... (read in full...)
Will my friend's parents find out she has gone to get birth control through her insurance?
Q. hi, i'm from illinois and a friend of mine is wanting to go to a health clinic to get birth control without her parents knowing, either planned parenthood or the health clinic. i looked up info for her and at planned parenthood it says you may need ...
A. 4 August 2011: Not if the clinic is for free I believe, as there'd be no bill. Or even if there was maybe it is possible to pay in cash.
Anyway, a pap smear or breast examination isn't common when you get birth control. If they want to do that it would be for a... (read in full...)
How can I try to get him to move on from me?
Q. hey, please can someone help? i was with a boy a few months ago, we split up, i moved on and found someone else. i was with the first one for 2 and a half months, so not that long. but now iv found someone else he seems to be jealous and is trying t...
A. 4 August 2011: He's into you now because you have someone else. Stop talking about the other man, because it'll just make him want you more. If you were available he wouldn't be so interested in you.
Cut down contact with him, plain and simple. Don't entertai... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 3 August 2011: Ouch, she was listed as single? Then it's crossing the line, and I'd be wondering what else she's hiding from you.
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate the relationship and her commitment to you, because it seems she's barely attached to you and migh... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 3 August 2011: I'd not call it cheating. I'd call it deceitful if she kept it hidden from you, and I'd call it inappropriate if she was honest about it. Not cheating though. So far it's just window shopping, no actual purchases.
If she wants to pass time she... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 3 August 2011: You need to figure out what your guy wants then, because everyone is different, and you're the only one who knows your guy well enough to know, by yourself, what he will enjoy the most.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 3 August 2011: What about just doing non erotic things for him to make him feel special? Like bake cakes or buy him beer for his football games with mates.
Just keep in mind you don't want to be taken for granted or used. Your life shouldn't revolve around p... (read in full...)
Penis size worry - (4 inches)
Q. Hi Girls, can you please tell me if 4" size is ok for marriage it means 10cm is it enough to satisfy a woman? I know its not a micro penis but it is making me insecure and please advise which position is good to satisfy a woman with a 10cm penis ...
A. 2 August 2011: Your penis will work fine. The only way to find good positions is through practice, as everybody is different, and every woman is different so will like different things. But you are suited well enough to try out many different things.
If it... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 2 August 2011: "Stuff that guys think would be really hot for their gf to do."
Give him a blowjob. Nuff said. Guys aren't hard to please. ... (read in full...)
Guys: What would you really want your girl to do in bed?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I have decided that we want to try to experiment more in bed. I am coming up with a list of things that we can try but I don't know if there are others that I haven't thought of. So far I have: Anal Threesome ...
A. 2 August 2011: Take away the threesome/another girl (which is just a threesome, don't know why you added it twice). Threesomes aren't "experimenting" with sex. Threesomes are their own thing. If you want to experiment you do things that only needs you and your ... (read in full...)
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