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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Help! do I tell his family of secret child?
Q. Hey, never used one of these sites but really need impartial advice... Were do I start... Few years ago I met a guy.. we split up and met up again last year when he was with a woman who he has child with and this start an affair they have recent...
A. 12 October 2011: "Do you think they have right to know? Or is it not my place? Help! X "
They have a right to know, and whats more important: your child has a right to get to know his family. Even as an infant. It is your place to speak up as well. You are the ... (read in full...)
Does alot of nagging lead to cheating?
Q. Do all guys cheat? Could a lot of nagging lead him cheating? Long dinstance? or what are some things that may lead a boyfriend to cheat?...
A. 12 October 2011: Things that lead to cheating: no sense of loyalty or respect for your partner, a lack of backbone and dignity, cowardliness, selfishness etc etc. A cheater is a cheater by nature, nothing "drives" him or her into it. It's just a part of who they ... (read in full...)
Whats his problem???calling me a slut!?
Q. Whats his problem???calling me a slut!? I was involved with this guy who is 7 years my seniori am 24 and hes 31.we work in the same place-theater.. and we were really good friends for the last 5 years.he would always sit beside me be it any interact...
A. 12 October 2011: Oh, by the way, the reason he did it is because he wanted you as his personal little plaything, and now he's upset that you aren't devoted to him. He just wanted to you as "his", and seeing that you aren't hurt his big ego. The guy is a douche and ... (read in full...)
Whats his problem???calling me a slut!?
Q. Whats his problem???calling me a slut!? I was involved with this guy who is 7 years my seniori am 24 and hes 31.we work in the same place-theater.. and we were really good friends for the last 5 years.he would always sit beside me be it any interact...
A. 12 October 2011: You need to straighten this up to us: what did he do? He works in radio and went on radio telling you you were a slut?
Can't you sue him for this? Do you have a boss you can report him to? If he humiliated you like this then you should definite... (read in full...)
Am I being too jealous and paranoid?
Q. Hi, my problem is this my girlfriend of 3 years is making me very uncomfortable with her behaviour. She is texting an ex school friend of hers and has admitted this guy likes her and that if she wasnt with me she would probably go for him. The ...
A. 12 October 2011: I agree with serenity80, maybe it's time to let her go. She is obviously placing this other man above you, her actions tell you that much. Anyone in your position would be upset, angry, jealous, feel betrayed. However, your reaction to this doesn't ... (read in full...)
My wife is the breadwinner now and wants me to be a house-husband, should I do it?
Q. Hi I m from Detroit city age 35. I lost my job couple of years back because of the recession ; haven't been able to find another one. However, my wife,33, has a great job with big fat pay package. Surprisingly, she got a promotion during the rece...
A. 12 October 2011: What exactly are you currently doing? Aren't already a stay at home husband since you are unemployed and your wife has been paying all the bills these last two years? No shame in that, that's what marriage is all about, taking care of each other ... (read in full...)
How to seek revenge on a player?
Q. I was dating a player, and he keeps coming back for sex coz we have chemistry..I have been ignoring him..what is the best revenge? Is it better to confront him, and end it.. or be friendly and sweet like he doesnt mean anything to me, and gently p...
A. 12 October 2011: He can't be "playing" you unless you enjoy being played with. He can't be having sex with you and use your body unless you allow him this. People will continue to treat you bad for as long as you let them. If you want revenge for this it would be ... (read in full...)
It was nothing serious and he blew it out of proportion
Q. My partner caught me flirting on line. He had warned me several times to stop. I did for a while. He called round unexpectedly while i was in some erotic conversation. He has been a good father figure to my two teenage sons. After getting abusive he ...
A. 11 October 2011: Cheating is cheating, no matter if it's online or in person. He clearly told you he did not accept this. Had he been ok with it it'd be fine. Had he been okay with you meeting these online people that'd be fine too, and no ones business but yours. ... (read in full...)
Has anyone taken or know of anyone who has been using Isotretinoin?
Q. I'm just wondering whether anyone reading this post has or knows or anyone who has taken Isotretinoin? It's an acne medication. It also goes under the name of Roaccutane, Isotane or Accutane. I believe this drug caused my sister's suicida...
A. 11 October 2011: Oh, I just remembered, my friend does know of a girl who became severely depressed after taking Isotretinoin.
The thing with mental problems is just that a lot of people become depressed because of other reasons as well, and unless you have har... (read in full...)
Has anyone taken or know of anyone who has been using Isotretinoin?
Q. I'm just wondering whether anyone reading this post has or knows or anyone who has taken Isotretinoin? It's an acne medication. It also goes under the name of Roaccutane, Isotane or Accutane. I believe this drug caused my sister's suicida...
A. 11 October 2011: I've taken Isotretinoin, and also my best friend used to take it. We did not experience any mental problems. I spoke to my doctor about this affecting my mental health as depression runs in my family. I was taken in for a blood test to see if the ... (read in full...)
I'm a 19 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend. How can I change both of these problems?
Q. Here's all my relevant background information: - I'm a 19 year old virgin who has never even had a girlfriend. - I'm 5ft10 and weigh 150lbs. - I used to be a loser who was friends with losers. However, after I graduated high school, I abandon...
A. 11 October 2011: PS. I don't understand the height and weight numbers, but if you are overweight you will do yourself and any future girlfriend a favour by working out and losing weight. It's better for your health, and a healthy person is more attractive in ... (read in full...)
I'm a 19 year old virgin who has never had a girlfriend. How can I change both of these problems?
Q. Here's all my relevant background information: - I'm a 19 year old virgin who has never even had a girlfriend. - I'm 5ft10 and weigh 150lbs. - I used to be a loser who was friends with losers. However, after I graduated high school, I abandon...
A. 11 October 2011: You're shy. That's your problem. In order to get a girl you need to talk to her. Nothing else works.
I often pull out this story of an 18 year old who wanted to date me when I was 17. He never said a word to me. I met him through a friend of mine ... (read in full...)
Over-reaction? "what girl did he get this from?" Suddenly he's lifted his game in the bedroom. Should I be worried that he may be cheating?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or I should be worried. When it comes to sex with my long-distance boyfriend, he's always been really simple/traditional/I'm not sure what to call it. Foreplay isn't much of a factor, barely any kissing, and we alwa...
A. 11 October 2011: Wait a bit more before you jump the gun. This could have been a one time off. Or maybe he talked to some friends and learned something new and wanted to test it out.
See what happens next time you have sex, then maybe you should ask him about hi... (read in full...)
His ex took so many important 'firsts'
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months, best friends for two years, and have known each other for eight. He had an abusive relationship where they both did bad things before me, and I knew a lot about it buI didn't know everything. He ...
A. 10 October 2011: Re-evaluate what is most important to you, him or his virginity. Then it will all become much easier. We have a knack at making our lives more complicated than they actually are.
He had sex, big whoop. Yes, it can be important, and it will be ... (read in full...)
Holiday romance or more?
Q. hi, I would very much appreciate your thoughts and advice on my current situation. I am a single mum of two. Recently I went on holiday with some girfriends and met a lovely man. He is a DJ and ten years younger than me, I am 33. We had a rom...
A. 10 October 2011: "tetxts saying how I had changed his life"
"He told me he didn't care that I had children and that 'if you like the girl, then you like what comes with her"
You were charmed. Others, including me, would have run for the hills. Why? Because it'... (read in full...)
Why does he care if I have found his replacement?
Q. I was dating a guy for almost a year when he out of no where decided he wanted to date someone new. I was very hurt, angry, and confused. We talked and of course he said he still wanted to be friends. I told him he needed to give me some time. I ...
A. 10 October 2011: I don't see much of him caring about a new guy. You sent him an off text that was meant for someone else, and he understood it to be a new guy, but he didn't make a fuzz out of it, did he? He just said you sent him a message by mistake, and then he ... (read in full...)
We broke up for college but while we were apart she had sex with another guy. Now we are back together I cant deal with this!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 16 months. We were best friends before we started dating and she was almost my first everything, except for kiss pretty much. I loved her so much but we decided that we should break up for college, and go back to ...
A. 10 October 2011: How long have you been with her? You said 16 months, but that must be BEFORE the break up, right? You need to scratch that both emotionally and mentally. If you and her have been together since the end of summer, then it is around 2 months, isn't ... (read in full...)
Flatmate problems....
Q. I've just moved into a shared student flat in a convenient location near the uni I've just started a course at. It's an ideal location. I moved in a bit later than two of the other people in the flat because I live within an hour and waited until...
A. 10 October 2011: "Have you put your stuff in the communal drawers." I said no, and then checked them to confirm this. Not my stuff. She nodded but didn't apologize for the accusation. "
Chill. She just asked a question. You can't be jumping at peoples throats ... (read in full...)
How can a handle family members commenting on my health/weight?
Q. Ok. I have a question about family. So I am sitting at my nieces bday party. Once again the subject of health comes about. I have health prob related to my being overweight. Once again I hear advice from those "well meaning" family members ...
A. 10 October 2011: There is no tactful way to handle untactful comments. I suggest you do as my brother did when he started getting fed up with comments. He suffered from depression and gained a lot of weight, and people commented! But they soon stopped, because he ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend Peter Pan?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out a few years. At the beginning I admit I told him pretty clearly what I always wanted from life-to be a wife and mother. He told me at the time he understood but wasnt ready. Scroll on afew years and we are both ...
A. 10 October 2011: You need to leave him. You are wasting your time here. He doesn't want what you want, he doesn't understand you, he doesn't see the beauty of marriage or hold the same values as you. Or, it could also be that he doesn't want to marry you, he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I shrinking or is she getting loose?
Q. so the other day me and my girlfriend was having sex.. it seems as thought she is getting really loose now.. i gotta admit im a pretty small guy and i am pretty small down there, but now it seems like i can't really feel her as much as i use to..and ...
A. 9 October 2011: I think probably what is happening is that as you and her get to know each other better sexually, you turn her on more. When she is turned on her vagina may appear "looser" as she isn't tense, but relaxed. Also, when turned on more she will be ... (read in full...)
My wife was adventurous with men in her past but I have to beg her for sex
Q. Can someone explain why is it that my wife could have sex in every sort of way possible with different men and now that I am her husband I am stuck with just nothing. I literally have to beg her for sex...she never wants to experiment like she did ...
A. 8 October 2011: Male anon why don't you take your pity party elsewhere, because no woman on here has been crying out for candle-lit dinners. Your post is just a load of you know what, and doesn't have any roots in reality. Perhaps you should read again that what I ... (read in full...)
I'm an adult, but still have teenage skin. What do I do?
Q. My skin's just like your typical teenage skin.. Break outs here and there and black heads. But my break outs seem to be getting worse and I can't stop picking at them! I'm going to try and break that habit, but what are some things I could use and ...
A. 8 October 2011: I suggest you see a dermatologist. Acne isn't just something teenagers have, it is a skin condition that adults have as well. If this becomes a big problem for you then seek out a dermatologist. However, they can be expensive. So you will have to ... (read in full...)
My wife was adventurous with men in her past but I have to beg her for sex
Q. Can someone explain why is it that my wife could have sex in every sort of way possible with different men and now that I am her husband I am stuck with just nothing. I literally have to beg her for sex...she never wants to experiment like she did ...
A. 8 October 2011:
I state again, this has nothing to do with the past men she was with, and please forbid we grew out of the cave ages and stopped looking at women as a possession, belonging to the man. If they are married, he has no "right" to sex, and if he's with... (read in full...)
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
Q. Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
A. 7 October 2011: Okay, people don't understand it, that's what I see. People do not see the difference between a player and a natural flirt/friendly person. Friendly flirting is just a person being nice. It's like playful teasing, and it is done only when you kn... (read in full...)
Love bites: sexy or disgusting?
Q. Love bites, "hickeys", do you like giving them? Do you like receiving them? Do you find them a turn on or romantic? Or do you think they're silly or a way of "marking your territory"? Do you think they're hot or just plain gross? ...
A. 7 October 2011: They are private and it is embarrassing if others can see them. Aside from that I don't care either way. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone think the law not allowing 16 year olds an younger to have sex will stop anyone?
Q. Just want to clarify, I don't want to have sex. I just think its unrealistic. Do you think it'll stop anyone? No one will call the police. Especially if their both underage. I know why its there and all, but I also know a pregnant eighth grader. T...
A. 7 October 2011: The law works. And, police does get involved. They just haven't been involved as far as YOU can see. The police/authorities gets involved when people did not follow the law.
If an underage has sex with an adult is is called statutory rape. Th... (read in full...)
Don't want to scare him away. But how can I drive him wild and make him fall for me? Any reliable strategies please?
Q. I've known this guy for about a year now, we've been just friends, but recently he's been texting me about hooking up and being friends with benefits. But he even said a couple times that it would just be fun, nothing serious; so I guess that mean...
A. 6 October 2011: You got to stop having sex with him. And instead drive him wild, without the sex being part of it.
Since you are just friends, go back to being "just" friends, with NO sex. Tell him this: "You are a great friend to me, and I do not want to lose ... (read in full...)
How should I control my jealously and this shock that my girlfriend defeated me in a game of soccer?
Q. Six months back, I started teaching Soccer to my girlfriend. We have been together two years. Two days ago, we had one-to-one match and I got shocked to death that she beat me by 6 goals to 3, out smarting me in every aspect of the game. It got ...
A. 6 October 2011: Hey, accept that some people are just better at things than you are. Doesn't make you a loser, or mean that you're not good. Some people just have a talent for it! Be happy instead that you have a talent for teaching, since she learned so fast.
... (read in full...)
I dreamt my ex was a toddler. Why?
Q. i had dreamt of my ex but as a toddler and wherever he would go I would follow him. I am currently in a relationship and I was wondering why would i dream about him as a toddler?...
A. 5 October 2011: Your ex, in your view, is childish. When you dream of an ex when in a new relationship it is because you see certain features of your past relationship in the new relationship. Your brain draws similarities, to see patterns. Something about your ... (read in full...)
Is is wrong to date a 17 year old? I'm 26
Q. Hi there. So basically I've got 2 questions here. 1/ I'm 26 and there's this girl I like but she's 17, would you think there is anything wrong with that? If not then read question 2. 2/ I've been talking to her for a few months now, but have never ...
A. 5 October 2011: You won't regret it. A 17 year old is way below you maturity wise and intelligence wise, not at all at where you are in life. You'd not be able to have a real relationship with her, go anywhere, not to mention she's got no independence, and would ... (read in full...)
Why are so many people homophobic? Is it fair to hate someone for something which they have no control?
Q. I was at work today and two male coworkers came in to install new lights. I was alone. I'm a lesbian and i haven't disclosed that to anyone at my job. And I look very feminine. These guys also think I have a boyfriend, I guess bc an attractive smart ...
A. 5 October 2011: The uneducated are scared of that which they do not know.
Do not let them hug you, but tell them to back off and that they are sinful themselves. ... (read in full...)
Is is wrong to date a 17 year old? I'm 26
Q. Hi there. So basically I've got 2 questions here. 1/ I'm 26 and there's this girl I like but she's 17, would you think there is anything wrong with that? If not then read question 2. 2/ I've been talking to her for a few months now, but have never ...
A. 5 October 2011: No, it is not ok for a 26 year old to date a 17 year old. She's a child compared to you, and you are an adult.
Now, I don't want to bash you, or be rude. But since this is an anonymous online site, and you asked a fair question, I will tell you... (read in full...)
Kisses and being called sexy
Q. I have a quick question.if a guy gives you a kiss on the lips and calls you sexy,does he like you ?...
A. 5 October 2011: Depends, were you drunk?
Sounds like desire to have sex, and nothing more. If a man calls you sexy he wants to have sex with you. If a man calls you beautiful he is attracted to your personality. Or so they say. ... (read in full...)
Should you trust your partner enough not to use condoms?
Q. This might sound a little stupid but i am going to ask it anyway and it is more to see what are people's sides when it comes to this topic. So i have been in a relationship with this wonderful guy for like a year an a half, he is in his mid 20s a...
A. 5 October 2011: Birth control is safer than a condom. You are not putting yourself at risk for pregnancy if you use birth control. However, if not used correctly, you are putting yourself at risk. I know plenty of people who SAY they were on birth control, but in ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of marrying my mentally problematic boyfriend
Q. Hi everyone, Well this is my situation. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years, I love him lots. We recently were planning to get together (get married). He's in his early 20's and so am I. I would really like to marry him, I thin...
A. 5 October 2011: "I don't really know if a person in his condition could ever have a normal life: raise kids, get a serious job, deal with everyday stress and handle the responsibilities and everyday duties."
Im sorry to say so, but no. They typically can not deal... (read in full...)
When does a guest stop being a guest?
Q. My boyfriend of 6 months is not living with me but he seems to stay here at least 3 nights a week. He has not worked since I have known him, has had interviews for jobs but not getting anywhere (he is a very intelligent man and has a lot of ...
A. 5 October 2011: You are not being mean, but you need to direct your feelings into the right place. This isn't about him not having a job, or gifts etc. This is about you wanting him to foot in and pay for his food when he stays at your place for days. He stopped ... (read in full...)
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
Q. Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
A. 5 October 2011: Yes, there is harmless flirting, but what this girl did wasn't harmless, and she should have taken the hint when it happened over and over. However, harmless flirting exists.
Then again I will also add that I too know of a girl who doesn't ... (read in full...)
Should you trust your partner enough not to use condoms?
Q. This might sound a little stupid but i am going to ask it anyway and it is more to see what are people's sides when it comes to this topic. So i have been in a relationship with this wonderful guy for like a year an a half, he is in his mid 20s a...
A. 4 October 2011: It is ok in my book to trust your partner to not cheat on you, and to not use condoms. However, you can not trust him to magically know whether or not he has an std. He needs to be checked at the doctors and get the tests done. Then you and him will ... (read in full...)
My wife was adventurous with men in her past but I have to beg her for sex
Q. Can someone explain why is it that my wife could have sex in every sort of way possible with different men and now that I am her husband I am stuck with just nothing. I literally have to beg her for sex...she never wants to experiment like she did ...
A. 4 October 2011: How did you find out about what your wife did to other men in the past?
Did you and her have sex before you married, was she adventurous then, and then after marriage it stopped? Because if so then that's a different question. If she was this was... (read in full...)
Am I just another good-hearted loser in this world?
Q. Hey Everyone, When it comes down to dating, sex, and the opposite sex I'm a very confused man.I have had at least 7+ females tell me in a blunt, sincere, and point blank manor that they find me to be physically attrracive and claim that they rea...
A. 4 October 2011: You are 23. Not 35. You are not old. You have not run out of your opportunities, or chances. You have some 7+ girls that turned you down. And you let it get to you when it shouldn't.
The reality of dating is that you, like everyone else, good as ... (read in full...)
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
Q. Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
A. 1 October 2011: Good point!... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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