| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Have I lost my virginity to a cucumber??
Q. I am a 19 yr old girl who has always prided myself on the idea of being a virgin when I got married. I got super horny tonight, though, and used a cucumber. I didnt notice until afterwards that I had bled. Does this mean I have lost my virginity? Or ...
A. 11 September 2011: Another idea, or more like a rule, is that if you absolutely must use veggies, have a condom on them. This will make sure you do not "lose" parts of the veggie inside of you, or scratch yourself, and everything will be clean.... (read in full...)
Am I obsessed about her and controlling?
Q. Hello DearCupid members, Some things to know: * I am a 16 year old male that is madly in love with this really beautiful (well, I think so anyway) woman who is the same age as me. * We have known each other for three years. And I have l...
A. 11 September 2011: The sleeping part still is no good. It's not about you doing it to be mean to her. But you are in effect controlling her. Whether you see it that way or not. You say "I can not sleep unless I hear you sleep, so if you love me you will keep the phone ... (read in full...)
He says I'm perfect... for fun?!
Q. I'm at a major cross roads in my life and just don't know what to do for the best. Around 6 years ago I got in touch with my HS sweetheart we had dated a little but he got obsessed so I stopped contact just before we finished school. We m...
A. 11 September 2011: Like anonymous said, it is what it is. You are just for fun, that's what he said. He drove 3 hours not to "be with you" as such, but 3 hours was convenient because anywhere closer his wife might have found out.
Sure he could have gotten a whore,... (read in full...)
Do people still believe in horoscopes and can horoscopes help relationships in any way?
Q. Hi, everyone I was just wondering if any of you guys believe in Horoscopes, the perfect match, and that you know. I find it kinda weird when people start saying that this is not good for her and that is better, ask about his zodiac signal. B...
A. 10 September 2011: I believe in numerology. I think it's for real. But there are just as many "star signs" out there as there are religions, so take your pick. Numerology works for me because I've never met anyone who didn't agree that their number described them ... (read in full...)
Am I obsessed about her and controlling?
Q. Hello DearCupid members, Some things to know: * I am a 16 year old male that is madly in love with this really beautiful (well, I think so anyway) woman who is the same age as me. * We have known each other for three years. And I have l...
A. 10 September 2011: Yes and yes. You love her, ok, but you need to give her space to breathe.
My mother told me something that I will pass on to you, try to live by this. Pretend that love is like sand. Hold it in your hands. If you clutch tight around it, sand wil... (read in full...)
She flirts, but isn't interested, then flirts more? Does she want me or not??
Q. so heres my situation, me and this girl (ill call her j) got pretty close on this trip together. never did anything in terms of hooking up but we had some great talks so after we started txting a little and by that time id fallen for her and i ...
A. 10 September 2011: She doesn't want you. If her behaviour annoys you then tell her, or stop talking to her so much. You're just fishing for more when you speak to her, hoping she'll come around, but how many times are you going to allow yourself to get hurt by her? ... (read in full...)
Does he sound like someone who could grow up and see me as the girl he could build a life with or should I just forget him altogether?
Q. Met an american man while I was traveling in africa (i am canadian), dated him for 3 months, "just to have fun". I was 27 and a virgin with a couple of serious past boyfriends, he was 23 and a non-virgin with lots of casual making out/fooling around ...
A. 10 September 2011: The truth is told in actions, not words. Sorry. "One day I initiate a talk about open relationships, he asks if I want to sleep with other men, I say no, I'm bringing it up because I'm wondering if he may want it, he replies he only wants to be with ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity to a cucumber??
Q. I am a 19 yr old girl who has always prided myself on the idea of being a virgin when I got married. I got super horny tonight, though, and used a cucumber. I didnt notice until afterwards that I had bled. Does this mean I have lost my virginity? Or ...
A. 9 September 2011: This comes down to a matter of definition. How do you define virginity? Intact hymen? If so then what about the girls who aren't born with a hymen, or have a small one that doesn't "break" when you have sex like a full hymen will? Or those who break ... (read in full...)
Does sex on the first date ruin the chance of a relationship?
Q. I am now seeing this guy whom i have been talking to for while on the internet.I tried not to have sex with on the first date as I have been told that he will dump me and a relationship will not happen if you sleep with them straight away.I asked ...
A. 8 September 2011: Yes, well, it's a general rule. You always have exceptions to every rule, and I'd think it depends on a person maturity, but also how they view relationships.
I wouldn't dump a guy if we had sex on the first date for the sake of the sex alone. B... (read in full...)
Should I keep this baby? I've already had 2 abortions but I think I want to keep this one, but my boyfriend isnt supportive...
Q. hi everyone. I am in a big dilemma. I just found out that I am pregnant. The problem is that my boyfriend is not supportive at all. He actually says that he doesnt want a baby with me.. I have already had two abortions, the last one in february. I ...
A. 8 September 2011: Your boyfriend will not be there for you this time either. I do not understand why you want to be with a man who will not support you and stand by your side?
What are his reasons for not wanting a baby, and what are the reasons you have stayed w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has no insecurity concerning me! I wish he'd be a little more protective...
Q. This may not seem like a huge problem but my boyfriend has no insecurity concerning me. He doesn't mind if I hang out with boys, even ones who fancy me. He just says he trusts me. I wish he'd be a little more protective. ...
A. 8 September 2011: Careful what you wish for. The perfect situation is when he trusts you. If he was more protective of you.. it could be an indication that he does not trust you. And would you want to be with a man who can't trust you?
Just be happy about it. Enjo... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I have a small penis!
Q. I have a troubling issue in my marriage. To get right to the point, it has to do with penis size and my wife's perception. I am about 5.75 by 5 around and I always thought fairly average. When my wife and I talk it is clear that she thinks ...
A. 8 September 2011: Wait, what is the argument about? Is this a matter strictly about what you or her judge to be an average size for a penis or not? If so it is easy to look at the statistics, no need to convince her. And you win. Yes, you're average!
But, is this ... (read in full...)
My ex has given me private information. Do I tell this to my friends? Or do I just tell my new Gf? I am worried how my new GF will take it.
Q. Hi. So I had broken up with my girlfriend last thanksgiving because she just didnt really respect me. After a party one night i was a bit sideways and she was and somehow post break up emotions led one thing led to another and yeah. Needless...
A. 8 September 2011: It could be the tests show up as pregnant because she never had an abortion in the first place?
I think... you need to take a step away from this girl. You allow her to get into your car, you could just drive off without her. Or at least have a t... (read in full...)
To tell? Or not to tell? I cheated twice on him
Q. Hi everyone! I've asked two questions before about my relationship with my bf of 4 1/2 years. Well I have another question for everyone. I cheated on my boyfriend twice wit 2 different guys. SHould I tell him? I mean I know if I tell him everything ...
A. 8 September 2011: You have people who know? That will be your downfall. At one point or another, your boyfriend will find out from this other person (or persons if there are more who know). One evening after some beers, or an argument, or when you fall out with this ... (read in full...)
She lied to me about her sexual past and I can't get over it, please help me.
Q. Before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time she told me I was going to be her first. While we were having sex I realized she was lying to me. Also, I did a lot of research about virginity and concluded that she was lying to me. She told ...
A. 7 September 2011: I am going to tell you to leave her. She lied to you, about a lot. It's not her sexual past that bothers me, it's that she lied to you, with such a big lie too! And for so long! And lied about telling the truth, over and over, and it took her how ... (read in full...)
How do I get these collectors to stop trying to locate my Bf's ex through me at the address where I now live?
Q. Im receiving mail that belongs to my bf's ex wife. She never lived here with him, so im guessing since she went bankrupt, collectors are still looking for her with my bf's last name. Is there a way to stop these mail or an easier way for me to re ...
A. 7 September 2011: Call the collectors (there should be a name of the company on the letters, don't open any of the mail!), and have a talk with them. Be firm. ... (read in full...)
Love and sex are 2 different things so is it ok to sleep with my cousin when I have a boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I am a girl and I slept couple of times with my cousin. We're not in love with eachother (at least I'm not, and he said he isn't either) but sometimes we still share a bed. Is that wrong? I recently got a boyfriend, but I have my doubts about ...
A. 7 September 2011: Love and sex can be two different things. But when you are in a relationship they are supposed to be united. If you have sex with someone else while in a relationship that is called cheating, and is morally wrong. It is wrong to cheat because it ... (read in full...)
Could there be a problem later on with us being the same age?
Q. Hi all,need some advice please...i and my boyfriend are 19.infact i'm a month older than him.my question is;could there be any disadvantage(s) of us being same age.we also have plans of getting married in a couple of years time....
A. 7 September 2011: Why would there be a disadvantage with the ages? Age doesn't matter, but level of maturity, wanting the same things, having the same values, all those things matter.
Age only matters if it prevents you from having what you want. If you want a c... (read in full...)
An ex contacts you just to jump on you because you seen them and didn't ask how they were?
Q. I have a male best friend and he asked me a question the other day which has me a little stumped. He saw his ex out somewhere while he was with a group of friends. He didn't speak to her at all. A couple of days later she contacted him via email ...
A. 7 September 2011: Same reasons he broke up with her: she wasn't nice to him and he ended contact precisely because this is how she behaves. That's my guess anyway.
Why do some people do crazy things? They aren't balanced people. They act out. They're dramatic... (read in full...)
He gets mad when I don't want sex!
Q. Hey guys, i'm 15 and basically i've been with my 16 year old boyfriend for 3 and a half months now, and we started having sex 2 months into our relationship. since then we've had it 37 times. I don't know if its right but I feel completely taken for ...
A. 7 September 2011: Take responsibility for your body. Get on protection. It's YOUR responsibility to be protected, not his. It's your body. Sure it's nice when a guy cares and takes his part in making sure you're protected, but you can't count on it, and you certainly ... (read in full...)
I cant orgasm!
Q. i have had sex hundreds of times but have never experienced orgasm. i tried to read about it...one should relax, experience the love, positions, excitement, days of the months and blah-blah-blah...but nothing has worked for me. what to do??...
A. 7 September 2011: Have you ever tried to rub your clitoris and get an orgasm on your own? ... (read in full...)
My Boyfriends Favourite Perfume is his ex's
Q. Hi, I just wanted to run something by you girls and guys, see what you think. When I started going out with my guy we were talking about perfumes and stuff and he said that his favourite perfume was Flowerbomb.(this is a perfume ive always reall...
A. 7 September 2011: In the isolated case of the perfume, there are two possible answers, I believe. The first is that he does have something for his ex, leftover emotions. The second answer, which I believe to be correct, is that he assumes women are jealous by nature. ... (read in full...)
Why did this guy delete his comment on facebook?
Q. Why did this guy delete his comment on facebook ?. I wrote a comment on his wall saying that i was disappointed that he had been thrown off a tv programme, and that this woman who didn't like him on the programme should have left, and i said it was ...
A. 7 September 2011: Probably has his reasons, but they aren't related to you, so just leave it be. You don't know him in person, so it'd be going too far if you started to ask him about it. Just leave it be and don't pay attention to it, I'm sure he has his reasons. ... (read in full...)
Women: Is a gentle heart, or rather a fundamental aversion to violence and conflict, just a completely unattractive trait for a man?
Q. I am at heart a very mild person. I do not like conflict. Violence, of any kind, is simply unnatural to me, and goes completely against my nature. I grew up in a suburb where violence was never part of our daily lives. Sure, some kids chose to ...
A. 7 September 2011: I'm going to arguing against you. This isn't solely a nature of yours as much as it is the way you were brought up. You didn't experience fighting, or even loud arguments, while growing up. You learned a way of dealing with conflict, while most ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is clueless about other guy's intentions, should I confront her or just let her make her own mistakes?
Q. Hi all, My girlfriend and i have been together for 2 years i am 22 she is 19 she has just started to go out with her friends in the day that she used to know at school which is fine she can do what she wants i do have a problem however when s...
A. 7 September 2011: Let her make her own mistakes. I mean she needs to learn things on her own, you can't baby sit her or "control check" every guy she meets either.
Perhaps instead of teaching her (don't ever say that to her though, it is offensive and she will wit... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend hinting that he wants to have a baby with me?
Q. My boyfriend is always making jokes. He's rarely ever serious. Just to give you detail, I am 20 and my boyfriend is a middled aged man who is divorced with 2 children. About a month into our relationship, he started making jokes about getti...
A. 7 September 2011: I think it's a red flag to be honest. What man talks about babies, even jokes about it, and says he's picked out baby clothes, after only 3 months? And started it from the very first month? I don't know if he's serious about wanting a child ... (read in full...)
Why do girls say they want a nice guy, when we all know that is a load of crap?
Q. The past 5 girls i have talked to, i have asked them the same question. What qualities do you like best in a man? Amazingly they all said as long as hes nice idk...... really? i have people tell me i am too nice , that im the nicest guy they ever ...
A. 7 September 2011: Ah, you have to raise the bar for yourself a bit. A nice girl will want a nice guy, and even better: she'll know how to appreciate it.
You need someone with maturity, someone who knows what a shitty relationship is so she will know to apprecia... (read in full...)
My ex wanted me to stop seeing the new guy so I did, and now he doesn't want to get back together anymore!
Q. I had been seeing this guy for about 5 months and was having a good time however one of my exs got back in contact with me. He phoned a few times and we flirted back and forth and recounted old memories. It made me realise how much i missed him and ...
A. 7 September 2011: This is a classic one. A man wants what he can not have. I've had it happen to me too, so I know how you feel. And your ex wasn't nice to do this to you. Your ex doesn't know himself, and with this experience you are wise to avoid him in the future, ... (read in full...)
Why is my mom so upset about the way my husband and I treat each other?
Q. Hello, I am a 31 year old married woman. You have given me great advice in the past. Here is my problem: This is a little long with background. My father and my husband get along great. My dad usually calls him, son, when he talks to him; ...
A. 6 September 2011: What exactly does your mom and sister say/do? You only mentioned the rolling of eyes when you are publicly pinched in the butt. Which I can understand, as such things are better left to private sessions. Nobody enjoys watching another couple's ... (read in full...)
I had to find out from someone else that my boyfriend has a 5 year old!
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend has a kid. Not from him, but from a mutual friend who didn't realize that I didn't know. His kid is ~5 yrs old, I am 25 and he is 29. I met him 9 months ago and we dated briefly for a month. I broke up with him ...
A. 6 September 2011: Hard one. But you can't deny it, that was deceitful. He was pulling the wool over your eyes. It was disrespectful.
I'm not sure if the situation here is "should I date the dad of a 5 year old", but rather "should I date a man who deceived... (read in full...)
UPDATE What can I say to get a conversation going?
Q. Hello again, everyone. I posted a question on here on the 5th July this year. Briefly, I was running into a woman on the journey to work every day and did I think she was the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen? Yes! The question I asked was, as ...
A. 6 September 2011: :D ... (read in full...)
Is there any chance I'm pregnant because of this?
Q. I was just wondering; is there a chance i can pregnant in this situation? : Two weeks ago i went on holiday with my bf, and we went to the local swimming pool. we were leaning against the side, and ermm... lets just say we got really kinky and...
A. 6 September 2011: Always a chance of pregnancy when you have unprotected sex. The only thing that protects is a condom. Besides, when the tip of his penis was inside of you there wasn't any water or chlorine to interfere with the little swimmers. And they can ... (read in full...)
My ex has given me private information. Do I tell this to my friends? Or do I just tell my new Gf? I am worried how my new GF will take it.
Q. Hi. So I had broken up with my girlfriend last thanksgiving because she just didnt really respect me. After a party one night i was a bit sideways and she was and somehow post break up emotions led one thing led to another and yeah. Needless...
A. 6 September 2011: She didn't tell you she was pregnant then. Her answer is mysterious and weird. 5 days is too soon to get a result. The test can not be taken sooner than (depending on the test, but in general) the day you expect your period.
I think you need to ... (read in full...)
Why does my BF have my name listed as "Christopher" on his phone? Could he be cheating on me?
Q. I just discovered that my boyfriend has me listed in his phone by a male name - Christopher, when clearly that is not my name. My name doesn't even start with the letter C. This is sooooooo very strange, and I was not happy about this. I asked ...
A. 6 September 2011: He's hiding you from someone that's for sure. Whether there is another woman or not, this is surely deceitful behaviour. ... (read in full...)
The bible tells me I'll go to hell for liking girls. Should I get help?
Q. The Bible tells me it is wrong to desire women sexually, I feel like I'm going to go to hell for liking girls. What should I do? I have like girls since I was a pre-teen, I'm now 65 yrs old. I have dated men on and off my whole like, even marri...
A. 6 September 2011: What sort of relationship do you have with God? It really all comes down to what you think and believe in. No one else has a right to judge you.
I believe that love is love, no matter what shape or form it takes. When you love someone, that lov... (read in full...)
I hate doing the thing that is his number one turn on! What can I do?
Q. I hate being fingered/fingering myself and I know it's the biggest thing that turns on my bf as that's the sort of porn he watches. We have sex a lot and stuff. However, I feel this kinda pressure to finger myself for him [he doesn't ask] because I ...
A. 6 September 2011: Don't do it. You don't know if that's even his "number one" thing to turn him on. And perhaps he's got several things that turn him on, that are just as good. Most people don't have just one thing that turns them on.
If you don't like it you don'... (read in full...)
My ex has given me private information. Do I tell this to my friends? Or do I just tell my new Gf? I am worried how my new GF will take it.
Q. Hi. So I had broken up with my girlfriend last thanksgiving because she just didnt really respect me. After a party one night i was a bit sideways and she was and somehow post break up emotions led one thing led to another and yeah. Needless...
A. 6 September 2011: There is a chance of a false positive yes. It could be your ex isn't pregnant. But the time line in your story was confusing. How soon after the unprotected sex did she take the pregnancy test? Did you yourself SEE the result of this test, or did ... (read in full...)
She wants an abortion but I disagree! What can I do?
Q. Ok so I don't know where to start.. I recently found out that the girl I've been seeing is pregnant with my child. The problem is she does not want to keep the child she wants to get an abortion and I strongly disagree with her! What can I do for ...
A. 6 September 2011: I'm sorry to hear that things turned out this way. ... (read in full...)
My best friend is a slut and I think she's after my boyfriend....
Q. I'm 15, turning 16 in two weeks. My boyfriend is a really great guy. He's got everything--looks, sweet, sense of humor, caring, and on top of all that, loaded. He would never cheat as he's been cheated on. My best friend (L), for lack of a better ...
A. 5 September 2011: If she's your "best friend", have a chat with her and tell her that she appears to be flirting with your boyfriend and that neither of you appreciate it. You'd like to remain friends and hang out, but if she wants to hang out with you she needs to ... (read in full...)
He has cheated on me.What's a girl to do? he asked me "so what are we?" what did he mean by that?
Q. Ok im not sure where to start.. all im going to say is i have no idea what the hell im doing. and im 15 that would make sense for that reason huh. Anyways awhile back in Feburary this year i met this guy(22yrs old) online, yeah i know, anyways ...
A. 5 September 2011: You sound smart for a 15 year old, and not at all confused or uncertain about things. You know what you want. You want someone to spend time with, who's smart and doesn't lie or cheat. I wouldn't call that expecting too much.
This guy doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to say "I love you"?
Q. Okay, so recently (about a month)I started dating this girl. She was my first girlfriend I did ANYTHING with, I even lost my virginity to her...Is it too soon to say "I love you" or am I just caught up in post sex lust? ...
A. 4 September 2011: Too soon!
Do you even love her, or are you only talking about saying it? Don't ever say it until you understand what it means and know in your heart that you feel it, because once you've said it you can't take it back and go "I didn't love you... (read in full...)
When is the right time to kiss in a relationship?
Q. So I was wondering when it was safe to kiss in a relationship? Is a week too early? Should I kiss her first or wait until she asks me to kiss her?...
A. 4 September 2011: I normally count the start of the relationship from the first kiss. Anything before the first kiss isn't a relationship, but dating, in my book. So the right time to kiss is when you have decided you want to be in a relationship together. ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on how to help someone with depression?
Q. My boyfriend is going through depression and I want to help him. Any suggestions? He has always had this, even before me, but I feel like it's partly my responsibility to help. I've brought him chocolates, I wrote him a poem and left it on ...
A. 4 September 2011: Don't physically do things for him, he wont necessarily feel comforted by anything at all. Be nice as usual, but remember that this isn't a broken leg, you don't show you care by writing "get better" cards. So doing things for him is nice, but don't ... (read in full...)
She wants an abortion but I disagree! What can I do?
Q. Ok so I don't know where to start.. I recently found out that the girl I've been seeing is pregnant with my child. The problem is she does not want to keep the child she wants to get an abortion and I strongly disagree with her! What can I do for ...
A. 31 August 2011: You can only show her through actions. But even then, if she is dead set to go ahead there is not much you can do other than talk to her and ask for her to at least give you a few days to show her how you prepare and can take care of a child.
... (read in full...)
She wants an abortion but I disagree! What can I do?
Q. Ok so I don't know where to start.. I recently found out that the girl I've been seeing is pregnant with my child. The problem is she does not want to keep the child she wants to get an abortion and I strongly disagree with her! What can I do for ...
A. 30 August 2011: Have you offered another option? If you offer a good second option then you might make her reconsider. Often people choose abortion because they see no other real choice.
Have you got a place where you can live? Have you said you want to live wit... (read in full...)
My ex has given me private information. Do I tell this to my friends? Or do I just tell my new Gf? I am worried how my new GF will take it.
Q. Hi. So I had broken up with my girlfriend last thanksgiving because she just didnt really respect me. After a party one night i was a bit sideways and she was and somehow post break up emotions led one thing led to another and yeah. Needless...
A. 28 August 2011: Im thinking it was someone else's baby she aborted. But, it doesn't matter now, as there is no pregnancy any longer and you got away cheap. Imagine the mess if she went ahead with the pregnancy and you had to deal with DNA tests to see if the baby ... (read in full...)
My ex has given me private information. Do I tell this to my friends? Or do I just tell my new Gf? I am worried how my new GF will take it.
Q. Hi. So I had broken up with my girlfriend last thanksgiving because she just didnt really respect me. After a party one night i was a bit sideways and she was and somehow post break up emotions led one thing led to another and yeah. Needless...
A. 27 August 2011: How does this affect your situation? Your ex had an abortion she said. Well, then there is nothing for you to do about it, you didn't have a say in it and now it's not a problem any more, because she went and had an abortion. If you always used ... (read in full...)
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