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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I've been waiting for 2 and a half years for my boyfriend to talk to me! Is he worth it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years and a month. (Since I was 12, and now I'm 17.) After 2 and a half years together, he moved across the US from me. Before he left, everything in our relationship was GREAT! He was the perfect ...
A. 29 September 2011: HOW do you break up and get back together when you aren't speaking? Through friends? "Oh hey, your girlfriend asked me to tell you she's now your ex girlfriend"???
No. This doesn't fly. You've not been having a relationship any more than an imagi... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: She's 19 and not a baby. If she doesn't know what constitutes as a virgin or not then she's to blame herself, not anyone else. As the adult that she is, although young adult, she is responsible for her own education and her own knowledge about ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way when I mention a friend?
Q. So I'm sleeping with a guy that at first was only once week a week and now it has turned into 3-5 days a week. He has told me he wants nothing serious, but lately he has been wanting to meet my family, me to meet his friends, and do things like go ...
A. 29 September 2011: Don't ask him what he wants. Just watch his actions and let things happen by themselves.
Then, if you feel you are slowly going official, at one point refer to him as your boyfriend when he hears it, or introduce him as your boyfriend. If he re... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up and I regret what I did, is there hope?
Q. My ex and I been broken up for about 2 months already. We broke up once and it lasted for 4 months and we both liked other people, but in the end, she came back because of the NC rule and we ended up going back out. We went out for 3 and half years ...
A. 29 September 2011: "But now I realized I can't throw away 3 and half years away just like that and that she means the world to me and I really want to try again and accept that we all make mistakes and that I dont need her in my life to be happy, but I want her in my ... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up and I regret what I did, is there hope?
Q. My ex and I been broken up for about 2 months already. We broke up once and it lasted for 4 months and we both liked other people, but in the end, she came back because of the NC rule and we ended up going back out. We went out for 3 and half years ...
A. 29 September 2011: *no contact, perhaps? Is that what it means?... (read in full...)
Will more women be interested if I lose some weight?
Q. I am a guy who was always on the smaller, scrawnier side. I could eat Ding Dongs and drink soda all day and I weighed 165 at 5'10" at age 17. Long story short, I am now 6 feet tall and 210. I think an ideal weight for me is about 190. I th...
A. 29 September 2011: You want to date healthy women who are not over weight. Healthy women want to date healthy men. If you do not look healthy, then you should shape up. Women don't care so much about looks, not more than your average Joe would anyway. Some are ... (read in full...)
Does this make him gay?
Q. My bf told me that he is bi and likes me to use a dildo on him. Does that make him gay? I'm afraid I will lose him because he might want to be with a guy. He loves sex with me and I turn him on. He also tells me he loves me . He says he doesn't ...
A. 29 September 2011: Listen, if he is having sex with you then he's not gay. Because a gay man doesn't want sex with women. It's as easy as that. And if he's with you, it's because he wants to be with YOU. Take a deep breath and try to calm down, you're just being ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant if a woman doesn't reach orgasm?
Q. Hi every one! I've been wondering and would like to know that can a woman get pregnant if she still doesn't reach orgasm? If yes how does it happen? Thanks for your time reading this and thanks for your answers in advance. ...
A. 29 September 2011: A pregnancy is not related to orgasms. A woman gets pregnant when a mans sperm swims up her uterus and meets one of her eggs inside of her body. This can happen from a man just poking his penis inside of a womans vagina.
If you do not want to ... (read in full...)
G/f says she cant have sex due to "girl issues", but she's not on her period. What else could it be?
Q. My girlfreind says she cant have sex due to girl issues.But shes not on her period.What else could it be?...
A. 29 September 2011: Why aren't you and her able to talk about it so you can ask her instead? It could be any number of things, but only she knows. So ask her.
It could be yeast infection.
It could be urinary tract infection.
It could be an upset stomach even.
I... (read in full...)
I have a secret ultimatum.
Q. I've given myself a timeline that if he doesn't propose to me by then, I'm going to focus my life on something new. Ive been with him for a few years, and last year October he mentioned he was going to propose in Feburary... its now nearly October ...
A. 29 September 2011: Here, this is funny and interesting:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_year#Folk_traditions... (read in full...)
I have a secret ultimatum.
Q. I've given myself a timeline that if he doesn't propose to me by then, I'm going to focus my life on something new. Ive been with him for a few years, and last year October he mentioned he was going to propose in Feburary... its now nearly October ...
A. 29 September 2011: Few men will propose when given the ultimatum. You have a higher chance of him proposing if you do not tell him about your secret ultimatum.
Better yet, when your deadline is up, and he hasn't proposed, YOU should propose. After all, next year is ... (read in full...)
I'm 34 and feel I should be married but I'm only attracted to the "bad boys"!
Q. HELP! I'm only attracted to the so-called "bad boys". The ones in a band, or with dark hair and leather pants, etc. Metal. Goth. Punk. And the one thing in common. They break my heart. Because they start to act like they want something real and...
A. 29 September 2011: Oh dear, I hardly think you can classify every leather wearing man in the world as a "bad boy" or every goth for that matter. Most goths I know are sweet and gentle people, people who just enjoy dressing differently. Being goth, or being a band ... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: Ah, well, she basically asked for it. You see, even if you only slipped in half of your penis, that alone would have been enough to take her virginity. Even if your girlfriend got only what she asked for, she's not be a virgin any more. I think ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a marriage will last?
Q. How do you know if a marriage would last between you and your love?...
A. 29 September 2011: It lasts if neither of you ask for a divorce. So talk about how you both feel about divorce before marriage, if it is a non-option or not. If you are religious it is more likely that you will see divorce as a non-option.
Married couple who do n... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for 2 and a half years for my boyfriend to talk to me! Is he worth it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years and a month. (Since I was 12, and now I'm 17.) After 2 and a half years together, he moved across the US from me. Before he left, everything in our relationship was GREAT! He was the perfect ...
A. 29 September 2011: "I've been waiting 2 and a half years now, but is he really worth it? "
No.
There's no place in the world where this makes a relationship. He hasn't spoken to you for over 2 years, that means you've been single for 2 years. I'd move on if I... (read in full...)
Do girls find a man with a big butt attractive??
Q. do girls like big butts on a man? im slim but quite defined up top, definded arms, stomach and shoulders but in a slim way, i not skinny, fit is the word id use, then my legs are realy musculare from all the running i do , football for pas...
A. 29 September 2011: The butt is muscle. I've seen overweight men who still have a small butt, because for most part.. a butt is muscle. It's the largest muscle on your body. And if it is big, when you are not overweight, it is almost definitely because you have big ... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: You will need to explain what you mean by "impulsively". What actually happened? I understand you don't want to go into detail, but did she scream for you to stop while you continued or was it a small slip and you stopped right away?
I'm opting f... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way when I mention a friend?
Q. So I'm sleeping with a guy that at first was only once week a week and now it has turned into 3-5 days a week. He has told me he wants nothing serious, but lately he has been wanting to meet my family, me to meet his friends, and do things like go ...
A. 28 September 2011: Yes, his feelings have changed, but he's too proud to admit it, he doesn't want to be vulnerable. Take it slow, and stop mentioning the other friends. Try to get to know him better and show and interest in him as a person, that is if you also want ... (read in full...)
What are the tell tale signs that two people are romantically involved?
Q. What are the tell tale signs that two people are romantically involved particularly are having sex. I think two of my close friends [male and female] are doing the nasty.... yet both of them are married to other people. I dont know if its all in my ...
A. 28 September 2011: Well, without catching them in the act these signs can also be signs that something embarrassing happened between them, or that they share some kind of secret, although not necessarily an affair.
Maybe they ran into each other at a naughty ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? I have told her how uncomfortable it makes me feel but she says I can't tell her what to do....
Q. Hi all, Right been with my partner for 2 years and basically an old friend of hers from school found her on the dreaded facebook. He is a 17 year old guy from pakistan who is always with his older brother. Now my gf has alot of guys friend and ...
A. 28 September 2011: 1. you can't help it if others make a pass at you.
2. when in a relationship and someone makes a pass at you, you decline and set them straight.
3. you can't persist that what you have with them is a "friendship" when they continue to flirt. I... (read in full...)
Nearly a year with him and he's never given me oral sex!
Q. ive been with my boyfriend nearly a yr and hes never given me oral sex!! he doesnt even talk bout it!! its the same old thing, nothing spontaneous we just watch tv go to bed, light goes off he gets on me does his business and says i feel better now ...
A. 28 September 2011: How about you stop self pitying and open your mouth to say something? Why would he bother to go down on you if you never initiate that you want him to? I take it he's just not a natural talent in bed, so it's your own job to teach him the ways ... (read in full...)
Will our relationship be illegal when I graduate?
Q. Ok I am going to graduate this year from highschool and my boyfriend is a year younger than me will it be illegal for me and him to date when he is still in highschool and I'm not? Also I don't want to break up with him I want him and I to be ...
A. 28 September 2011: By heavens, where did you get the idea that it'd be illegal? No, dating isn't illegal. What's illegal is an adult having sex with a minor, and what classifies on minor depends on the age of consent in your country/state. If the age of consent is 16, ... (read in full...)
Ladies, which do you prefer - the cook or the dancer?
Q. Just out of curiosity to all the women out there, which do you prefer - a man who knows his way around the kitchen or a man who knows his way around the dance floor? And why? (I'm just taking a poll of sorts after an interesting discussion among...
A. 28 September 2011: Tough choice. Well, seeing as I can cook my own dinner I think I will have to go for the dancer. Not that I'd turn down a good cook, but if those are the only two options I'd go with the dancer. A man who actually can dance shows confidence, and a ... (read in full...)
I am so jealous! I have the right to be, he's MY boyfriend!
Q. This girl writes on my boyfriend's wall everyday, with like ten posts of stuff to make him laugh because apparently he's depressed. I wouldn't know that because he never tells me anything anymore and is always talking to her. Some days he just ...
A. 28 September 2011: First off you need to realize that the girl isn't the problem. There are millions of girls in the world, and they will at one point be in contact with your boyfriend. It is how your boyfriend chooses to handle this contact that is crucial. This girl ... (read in full...)
Can I delete him off facebook? I don't want to know what he's up to!
Q. My ex dumped me a week and a half ago. We had a 1 year relationship. Its been very hard for me, but he is completely fine. He feels nothing about the break up and has moved on. I have to see my ex every day as we go to uni together and are in the ...
A. 28 September 2011: Delete. He should understand why. If he asks, just tell him that since you broke up you need time to get over him and what you and him had, and therefor you need to separate yourself from him for a while. Try to not hang out with him, if you can't ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to get pregnant, aged 16?
Q. im 16 and me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months we've been sexually active for 2 months straight and well he has told me he wants to have a baby. i dont really want to have a baby right now because im going through some legal problems ...
A. 28 September 2011: Did you read the entire advise I gave you? No, still not a good idea! You've been together 2 months. In 2 years time it might be a good enough idea, because that's the amount it takes to know where your relationship is going and if it is good enough ... (read in full...)
Should I create a bedroom for my 24 year old daughter or keep the study for myself in apartment?
Q. This might seem like a slightly odd question relating to family and home. My daughter is now 24 and has moved far away from home for 5 years now to be at Uni. She is very happy where she is living and it looks like she will stay there maybe for ...
A. 28 September 2011: Get the study. Your daughter is adult now, and while making it a bedroom for her would be a nice gesture, and probably please her and make her happy, she is no longer a child, and hasn't been a child for quite some time. She was an adult in the eyes ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to get pregnant, aged 16?
Q. im 16 and me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months we've been sexually active for 2 months straight and well he has told me he wants to have a baby. i dont really want to have a baby right now because im going through some legal problems ...
A. 28 September 2011: Here, this is a question from a woman who now has a 24 year old daughter. While she was older than 16 when she had her daughter, she did not have money, nor was the father involved, and it was hard. Read her question to see what you might be putting ... (read in full...)
Am I being irrational?
Q. Do good guys get what they deserve? I don't really understand why girls at my age do not appreciate the things that good guys done for them and in my case she thinks I am obsessed with her. I love her but not obsessed with her. Sometimes is rea...
A. 27 September 2011: You are obsessing over her. You dropped a great school which would have been good for YOU, to go somewhere else so you can get rejected even further by her. Why? Is that what's good for you?
You need to stop living your life after someone ... (read in full...)
How to deal with post sex mess?
Q. So this isn't really a question more a query!! I've just started having un-protected sex with partner (all checks done and accounted for!) I just wondered, how do other people deal with that post-sex-mess - lol I find it funny it goes f...
A. 27 September 2011: A towel can be a smart thing to have nearby, but I normally just use tissues. Then I place some tissues between my legs and I'm all set to cuddle. It could still be sticky, but you can shower/clean up together afterwards. I always get sticky unless ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to get pregnant, aged 16?
Q. im 16 and me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months we've been sexually active for 2 months straight and well he has told me he wants to have a baby. i dont really want to have a baby right now because im going through some legal problems ...
A. 27 September 2011: Well, how old is he? And how will you pay for it? Where will you live?
Are you sure that he, after 2 months of dating, is someone you want to have in your life for the rest of your life? Because if so, why do you not wish to get married first? I... (read in full...)
I have been talking to a guy for 11 months and he has gone out and had sex with someone else. I feel betrayed
Q. Hello i met this man on dating site we talked for 11 months, i saw him through webcam, i talked to his family through the phone he was supposed to visit me . But i told him that i will move to his country for study but then soon the war broke out in ...
A. 27 September 2011: What war? Where are you from? Where is he from? How old is he? I'm cautious with people who meet online and live far away... so many risks involved.
If you and him made no promises to each other to stay exclusive then you can not feel betrayed... (read in full...)
How much trouble would we be in if we have sex at a movie theatre and get caught?
Q. I am 19 and I have been with my bf Brett for 2 yrs. Our 2 yr anniversary is on wednesday and I wanted to do something special so I asked him what he would like to do. I was kinda shocked when he sadi he had 2 things he had always wanted to do the ...
A. 27 September 2011: *role play... (read in full...)
How common is it for women to have sex because they think it will help "catch" a guy?
Q. I realize this is a very broad question, and every woman is different so there's no single "right" answer, but I'm curious what people's general thoughts are? To what extent do women have sex because they think it will help them catch a guy? I r...
A. 27 September 2011: Plenty of women use sex to catch a guy, or genuinely confuse sex with love. Women tend to connect feelings to sex, as do men, but the social standard is for men to not relate sex with feelings.
Then again, if these girls do catch a guy with sex... (read in full...)
How much trouble would we be in if we have sex at a movie theatre and get caught?
Q. I am 19 and I have been with my bf Brett for 2 yrs. Our 2 yr anniversary is on wednesday and I wanted to do something special so I asked him what he would like to do. I was kinda shocked when he sadi he had 2 things he had always wanted to do the ...
A. 27 September 2011: Do NOT make a sex tape! Once you and him break up that sex tape will land online faster than you can say "oh crap".
Sex in the theatre? Sure, if you don't get caught. Make sure the theatre doesn't have cameras. You can try it. Alternat... (read in full...)
Seems like every girl loves him. He flirts. What should I do? Don't want to appear jealous.
Q. I really like a boy and I know he loves me. But it seems like every girl loves him. He knows it too. It really makes me feel insecure and jealous when he flirts with other girls. Is it normal for a boy to do this? Am I overreacting? I'm afraid that...
A. 27 September 2011: Are you in a relationship? If so, simply tell him that when you and him are a couple it is not acceptable that he flirts with other girls. He needs to show a commitment to you. Don't mention anything about being jealous. And if he gets mad, well, ... (read in full...)
What makes the difference between good sex and bad sex with a girl?
Q. When having sex, what makes a girl a good lay and what makes her bad in bed? I hear that many girls get uncomfortable and in turn, turn off guys. Can anyone answer this?...
A. 27 September 2011: A girl who lays still like a mattress and is acting like a dead person (silent, no movement) is bad in bed. However, contrary to men, when a girl enjoys herself in bed and does things she enjoys, and focuses on her own pleasure, she is good in bed ... (read in full...)
How much is too much patience? He tells me to "please wait and be patient" but my patience has limits
Q. So I met this guy two years ago but he was with someone else, so we lost touch, but then one day a year ago we started talking again. And I found out he was single. We started talking practically everyday and every night and things seemed to go very...
A. 27 September 2011: What does he want you to wait for? Have you asked? Are you waiting for him to be in a relationship with you? In which case, what's keeping him from being in a relationship with you right now, and what makes he think he'll be in a relationship with ... (read in full...)
Why is it that when I have a chance to lose my virginity, I can't perform!
Q. um so heres my problem. i am 16 years old, and a virgin. that isnt exactly the issue, but what is is that on a number of occasions in the past few years i have had the chance to have sex, and it just hasnt worked out. with the first girl we both ...
A. 27 September 2011: Lets see, girl one you had a casual thing going with, focused only on sex. Girl two you have a casual thing going with, again only focused around sex.
I think the obvious answer here is less horrible than you might imagine: a random hook-up ... (read in full...)
Is it likely a new Bf may lose interest after learning about the STD? I want to break up with my bf.
Q. I love my boyfriend, but our relationship seems hopeless, and I think I probably should end it. This seems like an odd reason to hesitate, but I am worried that I will have trouble finding someone new because I was recently diagnosed as being HPV ...
A. 27 September 2011: I heard it is very difficult to get the vaccine once you have become sexually active, because the chances are high you already have some type of HPV already. And doctors simply do not give it out. These days only young girls and women who are not ... (read in full...)
Am I gay because I think of guys?
Q. hi i am a 15 year male i would like to know if i am gay because if i see teen gay boys on the internet i think about them and how nice it would be if we could get intimate so am i gay please help...
A. 27 September 2011: I don't think you are gay until you have fallen in love with a man. That's how you know for sure. Until then, and especially as you are so young, it could be a natural fascination and desire to explore. It is possible to be curious about the others ... (read in full...)
Did she lie to me about being a virgin?
Q. hi.. M 22yrs old n my g.f is 18.. She told me that she is a virgin but when we had sex.. She got such tight pussy but she didnt bleed but felt pain in another day.. She never played any sport nor cycle.. Is she lying to me? Plz tell me sm1.. Shall i ...
A. 27 September 2011: Yes you should trust in her! Not all virgins bleed, I didn't bleed my first time and I didn't do anything like cycling or horseback riding. The things is those aren't the only ways to make it break! I believe my hymen broke either from a tampon I ... (read in full...)
Insane jealousy driving me crazy, please help!
Q. Hi. Does anyone have any help for me in how to deal with jealousy/insecurity? I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and we are about to move in togther. I know he is my one, I have never felt like this about anyone, I love him deeply. The thing ...
A. 27 September 2011: He should get rid of the scarf. Definitely. If he wants a nice scarf he can get himself, or knit himself, a NEW ONE. The scarf makes you uncomfortable. And to top it off it's got their initials on it. It's like wearing the engagement ring an ex gave ... (read in full...)
Is it likely a new Bf may lose interest after learning about the STD? I want to break up with my bf.
Q. I love my boyfriend, but our relationship seems hopeless, and I think I probably should end it. This seems like an odd reason to hesitate, but I am worried that I will have trouble finding someone new because I was recently diagnosed as being HPV ...
A. 27 September 2011: Men can freak out over things like this, because, not to generalize, but men tend to be scared of microorganisms. They are scared of needles, and they are scared of bacteria, and scared of infections, and scared their balls will fall off or that ... (read in full...)
Insane jealousy driving me crazy, please help!
Q. Hi. Does anyone have any help for me in how to deal with jealousy/insecurity? I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and we are about to move in togther. I know he is my one, I have never felt like this about anyone, I love him deeply. The thing ...
A. 26 September 2011: Hey, I've been in your shoes! It's hard when you start to compare yourself to someone, even if you're the one who comes better out, because you measure not with logic, but with feelings. And you think, like others said, that feelings can be measured ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
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