| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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His ex is a newly married good looking girl. What does it mean to us he checks her out on FB regularly?
Q. We are just about to get married and I found out that my future husband is regularly visiting facebook profile of his ex who is also freshly married. He told me about her, that he left her as he couldn't imagine being with her for the rest of his l...
A. 29 September 2011: If they aren't hanging out in person then don't pay attention to it. I'd be more worried if they often hang out or she flirts with him or if they send each other late night texts and are intimate with each other, talk on the phone for hours, or if ... (read in full...)
Is it likely a new Bf may lose interest after learning about the STD? I want to break up with my bf.
Q. I love my boyfriend, but our relationship seems hopeless, and I think I probably should end it. This seems like an odd reason to hesitate, but I am worried that I will have trouble finding someone new because I was recently diagnosed as being HPV ...
A. 27 September 2011: I heard it is very difficult to get the vaccine once you have become sexually active, because the chances are high you already have some type of HPV already. And doctors simply do not give it out. These days only young girls and women who are not ... (read in full...)
Insane jealousy driving me crazy, please help!
Q. Hi. Does anyone have any help for me in how to deal with jealousy/insecurity? I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and we are about to move in togther. I know he is my one, I have never felt like this about anyone, I love him deeply. The thing ...
A. 27 September 2011: He should get rid of the scarf. Definitely. If he wants a nice scarf he can get himself, or knit himself, a NEW ONE. The scarf makes you uncomfortable. And to top it off it's got their initials on it. It's like wearing the engagement ring an ex gave ... (read in full...)
Is it likely a new Bf may lose interest after learning about the STD? I want to break up with my bf.
Q. I love my boyfriend, but our relationship seems hopeless, and I think I probably should end it. This seems like an odd reason to hesitate, but I am worried that I will have trouble finding someone new because I was recently diagnosed as being HPV ...
A. 27 September 2011: Men can freak out over things like this, because, not to generalize, but men tend to be scared of microorganisms. They are scared of needles, and they are scared of bacteria, and scared of infections, and scared their balls will fall off or that ... (read in full...)
His ex is a newly married good looking girl. What does it mean to us he checks her out on FB regularly?
Q. We are just about to get married and I found out that my future husband is regularly visiting facebook profile of his ex who is also freshly married. He told me about her, that he left her as he couldn't imagine being with her for the rest of his l...
A. 27 September 2011: Maybe he feels she's a great girl, just wasn't the one for him. And maybe he always felt bad about hurting her feelings and breaking up with her. If you care about someone, and are a good person, breaking up with them can make you feel pretty ... (read in full...)
I left in the middle of the night after sex, now he never wants to hear from me!
Q. Hey everyone, about a month ago I started seeing this guy and he was an absolute sweetheart to me and things were going well... Anyway, last night we went on a date and we planned that I would stay at his house for the night. We had sex multiple...
A. 27 September 2011: Well he jumps the gun doesn't he? Instead of calling you and ask what happened, he assumes you ditched him and deletes you straight off, no warning, no checking to see what happened.
Yes, you were rude to leave like that, but come on, the guy ... (read in full...)
Insane jealousy driving me crazy, please help!
Q. Hi. Does anyone have any help for me in how to deal with jealousy/insecurity? I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and we are about to move in togther. I know he is my one, I have never felt like this about anyone, I love him deeply. The thing ...
A. 26 September 2011: Hey, I've been in your shoes! It's hard when you start to compare yourself to someone, even if you're the one who comes better out, because you measure not with logic, but with feelings. And you think, like others said, that feelings can be measured ... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with this married man?
Q. I have a serious question that I know will ruffle A LOT of feathers but I'm sorry, I really need advice, I've been seeing a married man for a while and were very close, best friends more than lovers. Recently I have been getting urges to have a ...
A. 26 September 2011: Here, found this question on another site which shows one of the scenarios such a child could find themselves in, from the father's point of view.
http:... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that women when they go to college just lose themselves and become slutty?
Q. Ever since I graduated high school 3 years ago I have noticed that out of all my guy and girl friends that it seems like all the girls that where once nice and respectable have become party whores and seem to have lost their good morals. I really ...
A. 26 September 2011: Oh cut the nice guy crap and grow a pair. Women date nice guys, and I don't know what your problem is, but plenty of great, NICE WOMEN get screwed over too, ok? They get screwed over by nice guys as much as other guys, because you have to kiss ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to feel this way? sometimes it feels like a FWB, yet when with him the sex is amazing.
Q. Sometimes my boyfriend feels more like a friend with benefits or something. I love him to pieces, I trust him completely, he understands me better than anyone; in short, he's the best mate I could ever wish for. But thinking of the fact that we're ...
A. 26 September 2011: Adamantine, I did say that love could come with time if the spend more time together.
But to go for years in a relationship without love, or get married without love, would not be recommended, because as soon as you then fall in love with som... (read in full...)
Can sperm swim in water?
Q. I know this is a bit of a daft question, but can sperm swim in water? Like if you're fooling around in the bath and the guy comes, if you're not on any sort of contraception is there a risk, however slight, of getting pregnant? Thanks for any ...
A. 26 September 2011: No. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my family that I'm bi-sexual?
Q. hi im bisexual and i want tell my family but there really old fashioned and they would reject me in seconds what should i do...
A. 26 September 2011: Iæm bisexual and never told my parents, or other people for that matter unless it naturally comes up. There's no need to announce it unless you bring home a man. There is no need to announce any sexuality in fact until you are in a relationship with ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to feel this way? sometimes it feels like a FWB, yet when with him the sex is amazing.
Q. Sometimes my boyfriend feels more like a friend with benefits or something. I love him to pieces, I trust him completely, he understands me better than anyone; in short, he's the best mate I could ever wish for. But thinking of the fact that we're ...
A. 25 September 2011: Like the relationship you have with your partner is primarily friendship but with an added sexual dimension? Or does there have to be something more?
Yes, there needs to be something more: love. If you aren't in love then what you have is a fri... (read in full...)
Does anal sex change your butt?
Q. What happens if you have anal sex? Does your butt get bigger?...
A. 25 September 2011: Yes, how do you think people get big butts in the first place?
And if you masturbate you go blind. ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that women when they go to college just lose themselves and become slutty?
Q. Ever since I graduated high school 3 years ago I have noticed that out of all my guy and girl friends that it seems like all the girls that where once nice and respectable have become party whores and seem to have lost their good morals. I really ...
A. 25 September 2011: Male anon, no one is complaining here. That post doesn't make sense and isn't related to the topic.
Anyway, they are right you know, not all American women do this. I have always thought of the women who do do this as a particular American... (read in full...)
Why does it seem that women when they go to college just lose themselves and become slutty?
Q. Ever since I graduated high school 3 years ago I have noticed that out of all my guy and girl friends that it seems like all the girls that where once nice and respectable have become party whores and seem to have lost their good morals. I really ...
A. 24 September 2011: This appears to be an American phenomena. It doesn't happen in universities or colleges in other parts of the world. I also think this is connected with the advice all girls and guys get before the go to university or college in the USA, especially ... (read in full...)
The love of my life has been online cheating. I've never felt sadness like this before. Please help.
Q. Last night my heart was broken. I found out the girl that I planned to marry and live happily ever after with, has fallen for some online with someone else and spends hours each day flirting with and getting emotionally close with him. I'm in shoc...
A. 24 September 2011: It is a devastating situation, we know. Most of us if not all of us experience heartache in our lives, some worse than others. People are being cheated on, fooled, tricked for years. And yes, it hurts like shit. But you aren't alone in feeling such ... (read in full...)
My bf never texts me or asks me to come over on his days off. What does this mean for our relationship?
Q. I hardly see my boyfriend anymore because we work different schedules now. He works mornings/afternoons, and I work evenings (both work at different companies). I am trying to get a different job that will allow me to work morning hours. That way, ...
A. 24 September 2011: I'm sorry to say, but realistically speaking this isn't good. Here you are, on the one side, dedicated to the relationship and to him, you are searching for a new job with different hours so that he can keep his job and you can still meet up. In ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend superior sports knowledge gets me jealous, what should I do to get rid of this tendency ?
Q. I am a sports freak, I play field hockey and soccer and great fan of other sports. I always wanted to have girlfriend having same passion for sports. To my good luck, I got one early 2010 and immediately we hit off well. She was a field hock...
A. 23 September 2011: Learn from her instead. Learn what she knows, and learn more, then you will be her equal. Your jealousy, I suspect, comes from you feeling insecure. But I can close to guarantee you there are a million things you know better than her, know more ... (read in full...)
G/f complained about my penis. Is she cheating?
Q. my girlfriend recently started complaining of my penis size. Could this be the sign she is cheating on me? ...
A. 23 September 2011: It's not a sign that she is cheating. It's more a sign that there is trouble in your relationship and in the way you communicate. You should specify and give more information on what she says, under what circumstance, why she says it, and how you ... (read in full...)
18 year old with crush on 14 year old?
Q. hi guys i am 18 and i have a developing crush on a 14 year old girl and i just wanted to get peoples views on this is it weird to you or doesn't it matter to you? ...
A. 23 September 2011: I was in love with an 18 year old when I was 14. And it's not weird at all. Happens all the time. However, being in love is one thing, being in a relationship is quite the other. I was told to not make a move on the guy I was in love with until I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend proposed...but went looking for a second-hand ring!
Q. So my boyfriend proposed to me the other day. All was going well until he started searching for an engagement ring. We were talking on the phone and he said "Here's one I think you'll like" and sent me a picture of the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. ...
A. 21 September 2011: Maybe Cindy is right. But in that case, the poster lacks self insight when she can not tell us that the man she claims to love is not someone she loved after all, and that she is tired of trying to make him something he isn't. I don't get it. She ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend proposed...but went looking for a second-hand ring!
Q. So my boyfriend proposed to me the other day. All was going well until he started searching for an engagement ring. We were talking on the phone and he said "Here's one I think you'll like" and sent me a picture of the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. ...
A. 21 September 2011: What? I thought at first I's just be having a go at it and tell you how a ring is a ring and not equivalent to how he feels about it, but now you go ahead and wonder if you should even stay in this relationship? You're not a loving partner to him ... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and he's 20...can this work?
Q. I recently met a guy at the bar that I started dating. The thing is he's 20 and I'm 24... He says it doesn't bother him at all, is this normal? We get along great but it makes me wonder what his motives are... Any insight from you guys out there? ...
A. 21 September 2011: I think he'd be too immature for you. But see for yourself. ... (read in full...)
I feel guilt about saying NO to my Mom. She is draining me financially. How do I stop her doing this to me ?
Q. Over the past two months my mother has drained me financially and borrowed over $800 from me to pay for bills. I have an issue with it because she's acting as though it's her money, or money that I owe her, while never even saying as much as a thank ...
A. 21 September 2011: You say NO. A big, fat N and O. Let her make you feel guilty. The guilty feeling wont last for long. Then you'll feel better about yourself.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-mother-wants-me-to-buy-my-brother.html
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Car or bed?
Q. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex for the first time this weekend. We have two options, either in the back seat of my car or in my room while my sister is home. Which do you think would be a little better?...
A. 21 September 2011: Have you ever had sex before? Neither of you are virgins? Sex in a car is for the more advanced, than first timers. But, if neither of you are virgins, it could be a very fun place to have a first time with each other.
I agree that if your sis... (read in full...)
I need some insight into the female mind!
Q. I need some insight into the female mind. I am away from home right now. Been away for about 4 weeks, and I have two more to go. My wife and I video chatted today, but the whole day she has been short on calls/texts. She seemed super tired (yaw...
A. 21 September 2011: I am not good with apologies. I don't expect apologies from others either, unless there's been something quite serious. I forgive and forget. If someone did something I am not happy about, I either let it slip, or let them know. But I do not expect ... (read in full...)
Broke off our engagement ...did I do the right thing?
Q. Just found out that my bf of four years didn't marry his ex gf because her divorce hadn't come through. He claims this is not the case and it was because they weren't the right match but turns out she was separated from her ex but still married to ...
A. 20 September 2011: Oh and of course, you'd also benefit from reading everyone elses responses on that thread, they give a lot of great advice. The further you read into it the more you will see how you and her think in quite the same patterns.... (read in full...)
Broke off our engagement ...did I do the right thing?
Q. Just found out that my bf of four years didn't marry his ex gf because her divorce hadn't come through. He claims this is not the case and it was because they weren't the right match but turns out she was separated from her ex but still married to ...
A. 20 September 2011: Here... Your personal dilemma about love reminded me of this woman who wrote last year to us. I see many similarities in the way you and her approach an "ideal" and imaginary relationship. Have a look at it, and please read my responses to her, as ... (read in full...)
Broke off our engagement ...did I do the right thing?
Q. Just found out that my bf of four years didn't marry his ex gf because her divorce hadn't come through. He claims this is not the case and it was because they weren't the right match but turns out she was separated from her ex but still married to ...
A. 20 September 2011: Uhm.. "they broke up because she cheated and tried to find somone who was richer because he was getting into debt"
Is there more that needs to be said? Or do you understand already that things happen for a reason?
Don't be engaged, sure, y... (read in full...)
Where do I hide the condoms?
Q. My friends bought me some condoms (I have a new boyfriend- he's gorgeous and very sexy- they were joking around), but I want to hang onto them just in case anything does happen- better safe than sorry! Does anyone have any ideas as to where in my ro...
A. 20 September 2011: Yepp, you are legally allowed to partake in sexual activities. So why the need to hide the condoms? You're legal. No need to hide them. You're allowed to flaunt them if you want.
Or are you worried your parents will lecture you, despite you bein... (read in full...)
Is giving custody of my baby to my parents such a bad thing?
Q. Im 19 years old and 6 months pregnant. I dont feel at all ready to give my baby the best life he can have. I love him with all my heart, but im just not ready. I want to give custody to my parents. They want a baby and would love their grandbaby ...
A. 20 September 2011: You do want him. And you love him. That's why you didn't abort him, and that's why you want to give the custody of him to someone else, who you know will give him all that he needs.
If you are able to let him to your parents I think that will be ... (read in full...)
My mother can't afford the wedding, my b/f's family can but won't help!
Q. Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the ...
A. 20 September 2011: I get it. Parents pay for their kids. And that's great, if these kids appreciate it rather than EXPECT it, like you do. Just listen to yourself and your expectations, you want this and that and this and that and mommy needs to pay the lot. How ... (read in full...)
What are the after affects of anal sex?
Q. What are the after affects of having anal sex? My boyfriend wants to do it but I'm scared because I hear that you have discharge from the anus afterwards. What are the good things about anal and what are the bad? Please help me out!?...
A. 20 September 2011: LustyLisa, I don't doubt what you say, but out of fear that the OP doesn't know already: there's about exactly the same risks involved with having regular intercourse. I will say regular intercourse is potentially more dangerous than anal sex even, ... (read in full...)
What are the after affects of anal sex?
Q. What are the after affects of having anal sex? My boyfriend wants to do it but I'm scared because I hear that you have discharge from the anus afterwards. What are the good things about anal and what are the bad? Please help me out!?...
A. 20 September 2011: Btw, I read the first response. Anal sex doesn't hurt. If it hurts you're doing it wrong. I never hurt during anal sex, unless it was for the times when the man was too eager, like I explained. My first time having anal was rather pleasant. It's not ... (read in full...)
What are the after affects of anal sex?
Q. What are the after affects of having anal sex? My boyfriend wants to do it but I'm scared because I hear that you have discharge from the anus afterwards. What are the good things about anal and what are the bad? Please help me out!?...
A. 20 September 2011: Nothing happens... There's no after effect. But go to the bathroom first. Because getting something up IN you goes against what you normally do, which is to squeeze things OUT. Which means him pushing into you will cause a natural instinct to try ... (read in full...)
I need some insight into the female mind!
Q. I need some insight into the female mind. I am away from home right now. Been away for about 4 weeks, and I have two more to go. My wife and I video chatted today, but the whole day she has been short on calls/texts. She seemed super tired (yaw...
A. 20 September 2011: Hey, thank you for the follow-ups.
What I mean by you needing to accept that she is in a bad mood, is not that it is okay for you to be neglected. But, we're not talking about you accepting that she is like this 100% of the time. That would be... (read in full...)
I need some insight into the female mind!
Q. I need some insight into the female mind. I am away from home right now. Been away for about 4 weeks, and I have two more to go. My wife and I video chatted today, but the whole day she has been short on calls/texts. She seemed super tired (yaw...
A. 20 September 2011: How can you not know if you are tired or sad or both?
A: if you haven't reflected on it much. Women tend to think long winded thoughts. If we say we aren't sure, that means the jury is still out on the matter. If your wife is anything like me,... (read in full...)
It seems like everything died because we had sex!
Q. i hit one wrong button and deleted everything I wrote so here is a reduced version. I was talking to a guy for two months via text and hung out a few times. He works at the same place I do but don't see him hardly at all so I wasn't worried about ...
A. 20 September 2011: And yet, the only reason you aren't in contact with him, and don't know the answer, and are worrying so much, is because you "don't chase guys". Giving a man you care for a call after you had sex is hardly "chasing" him. For all you know he's ... (read in full...)
Never reached orgasm through penetrative sex!
Q. Hi everyone, I've slept with 3 men in my life. My current partner is 30 next month. I'm 22 years old and have always had a very active and healthy sex life. The problem is, I've never been able to orgasm through penetrative sex. I've tried all d...
A. 19 September 2011: "I am more than sure that if he was with any other woman she would enjoy it fully but I just can't. "
Huh? So you think you aren't enjoying the sex? Or are you? It's simple as that, if YOU enjoy the sex and feel great about it, the who the heck... (read in full...)
Would this be a weird anniversary present?
Q. It's the first year annivarsary for my boyfriend and I in two weeks and I'm thinking of getting him tickets for a football match but only thing is, they're nearly always on a weekend. I need to work then and there's a strong possibility that I woul...
A. 19 September 2011: I think it's a weird gift for an anniversary. If it was his birthday, or you just wanted to give HIM a gift, then sure. BUt this isn't anyones birthday. I don't even see the need for gifts at an anniversary really? An anniversary is a celebration of ... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby with this married man?
Q. I have a serious question that I know will ruffle A LOT of feathers but I'm sorry, I really need advice, I've been seeing a married man for a while and were very close, best friends more than lovers. Recently I have been getting urges to have a ...
A. 18 September 2011: I don't plan on giving you a lecture, but a simple reminder of what you're considering here. It sounds lovely and all, having a baby with a man who will be there as a father, support you financially. Apart from him being married! And, while his ... (read in full...)
It seems like everything died because we had sex!
Q. i hit one wrong button and deleted everything I wrote so here is a reduced version. I was talking to a guy for two months via text and hung out a few times. He works at the same place I do but don't see him hardly at all so I wasn't worried about ...
A. 18 September 2011: Initiate contact. Ask him to meet up. Then talk to him and ask him if he's been avoiding you for some reason? Tell him you really like him, and was under the impression that this was the beginning of something, then see how he stands. In other ... (read in full...)
My husband admitted he married me to get into Canada!
Q. I've been married to my husband for 13 years now. We first met when I was on holiday in Edinburgh, Scotland back in 1995 - it was a great holiday, I'd always wanted to visit Britain, in fact I still go every so often, to this day. Our marriage...
A. 18 September 2011: Why did he tells you this? Was it during a heated argument? Or did he have a sincere talk with you about it, where he told you why he did this, and why he thought he couldn't get into Canada otherwise (or why he wanted to go in the first place?).
... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
