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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Ladies: How important are a man's looks in a relationship?
Q. Hello. This is not a "problem" as such, but i have a question for the ladies.... TRUTHFULLY, how important are a mans looks in a relationship? I ask this for 2 reasons. Firstly women always say that its personality, kindness, empathy, sense o...
A. 25 October 2011: Well, if you are a couch potato you attract other couch potatoes. Looking good in this meaning is a life style and about whether or not you are physically active, and not about how "handsome" you are or not. It appears a lot of less attractive men ... (read in full...)
I don't want to date her anymore. How do I get her to move out of my life?
Q. I have spent 9 months with this lady and now wana dump her . Well she hasn’t done anything wrong neither me but I have to dump her as I find someone else more attractive than her. She is my 8th girlfriends and I think there is nothing wrong ke...
A. 24 October 2011: You're clearly not in love with her, nor have you been in love with the other girlfriend I presume, since you refer to them not as "past relationships" but "past experiences". Use DATING to experience, and use RELATIONSHIPS for someone who IS ... (read in full...)
I found out my husband fathered another child! What should I do?
Q. I'm so confused. I've been married to my husband for nine years next month, and we have two boys together, who are five and three. We were a happy family up until last night when my husband told me that he'd fathered a child, another boy, with ano...
A. 24 October 2011: What has your husbands response been? How far on the way is this other child? Is it already born perhaps? Why did he not use protection?
Has he gotten himself checked for STI's? Get yourself checked too. Was it a one time thing?
Is he begging... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to attract military guys?!
Q. What kind of girl is the military guy typically attracted to? Is there a type they usually go after? I ask this because most of the guys (and I do mean the majority) who have been interested in me have been military guys. I dont live anywhere near a ...
A. 24 October 2011: I didn't mean just a hook-up. Just that they don't have particular tastes that I know of, they just like ALL women. Maybe it'd make more sense if you rephrased the question to: "why don't hip-hoppers like me, I'm a serious and quiet woman". Or "why ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I am big enough!
Q. hello everyone...i dont feel like im big enough down there for my wife. she never complained but i just wish i was bigger in order to feel like im really satisfying her. and when she gives me bjs . it doesnt feel like shes having a hard time taking ...
A. 24 October 2011: Poster, please don't get riled up by this, but your problem is completely YOUR problem. Your wife has NO problem. You however are the only one who sees your size as a problem. Why on earth would you want to make giving blowjobs unpleasant for your ... (read in full...)
A thank you message!
Q. Hey, well this is basically a thankyou message for alot of aunts and uncles who over this past year have answered some of my qeustions. I have had the worst year imaginable and without this website and some of the answers which have been giving to ...
A. 24 October 2011: :) ... (read in full...)
Why would my girlfriend say that her ex was "just too huge"?
Q. I've been going out with my GF for about a year, and we're discussing marriage. I've done quite well in my career, and some of the things my GF has said have given me the definite impression that this is quite important to her in a potential husb...
A. 24 October 2011: No, she said she didn't like her ex's penis. But yes, it was an odd response. You need to tell her that such comments make you feel insecure, as most mentioning of an ex would make a current partner insecure. But don't make this about his penis, ... (read in full...)
Is she being honest about my performance in the bedroom?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months, i have a really small and thin penis and don't think i pleasure her when we have sex. she has told me she has had some huge penises before and her last boyfriend was the biggest she has ever had but tells ...
A. 24 October 2011: Probably, yes. Why would she lie? If the sex isn't good and she lies about it being great then things wont ever improve and she'll be digging her own grave. If she lies in the end it only makes things bad for her.
Do YOU think the sex is great? A... (read in full...)
My friend's lover wouldn't give her money should she end things with him?
Q. My friend, who is married, but does not sleep with her husband, has had a 10 year sexual relationship with a male friend. She has talked with him every day by phone, exchanged emails, visited with him and his parents, and exchanged birthday and ...
A. 24 October 2011: There is no reason for her to be upset that he didn't want to lend her a huge amount of money. He may be her lover, and he may care deeply for her, but he is not a bank. Mixing money and relationships is a bad idea, no matter what. Money is one of ... (read in full...)
My biggest fear is being cheated on?
Q. I haven't had a boyfriend yet, but my greatest fear is being cheated on. I guess it's because growing up my dad cheated on my mom and even went as far as to introduce me to one of his mistresses. But my greatest fear is being cheated on and hur...
A. 24 October 2011: Accept that there are things that are out of your control. Loving someone is taking a chance, you give them your heart and ask that they treat it with care. And that's al you can do. If they love you they will take great care of your heart. In ... (read in full...)
Why did I bleed during foreplay when I've lost my virginity 10 yrs ago?
Q. i'm female, almost 26. lost my virginity 10 years ago when i was almost 16. i was with my boyfriend tonight and after we had some foreplay he had blood on his hand. it most definitely is not that time of month. i cannot and do not understand this. i ...
A. 24 October 2011: Did you feel any pain? Could very well be he scratched you like natasia said. Or maybe he was a little rough and you were tight as it's been some time since you last had sex.
Was there a lot of blood? If there was only a little I would assume h... (read in full...)
How do you keep conversations going in relationships?
Q. Conversations, How do you keep conversations in relationships going, I always found it hard to i mean you are always texting, calling, being around your spouse i dont understand how you keep finding conversations or ways to keep things fun and not ...
A. 24 October 2011: You don't always have something to say or talk about. Saying things just for the sake of saying them shows insecurity and will be "fake" and awkward. If you're not a naturally bubbly and talkative person then it's ok. You can still have a great long ... (read in full...)
Ladies: How important are a man's looks in a relationship?
Q. Hello. This is not a "problem" as such, but i have a question for the ladies.... TRUTHFULLY, how important are a mans looks in a relationship? I ask this for 2 reasons. Firstly women always say that its personality, kindness, empathy, sense o...
A. 24 October 2011: Looks are just as important to some women as it is to some men: "i've made women laugh almost to the point of wetting themselves but have i ever "pulled" the really good lookers"
Some care a lot, others don't care as much, but to one degree o... (read in full...)
Why do I seem to attract military guys?!
Q. What kind of girl is the military guy typically attracted to? Is there a type they usually go after? I ask this because most of the guys (and I do mean the majority) who have been interested in me have been military guys. I dont live anywhere near a ...
A. 23 October 2011: Haha, this will sound the wrong way, but military guys to my awareness like ANY type of woman they can get as there's a shortage of women where they usually are. Nah, I have no idea why you keep meeting men in the military, maybe you attract them... (read in full...)
I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!
Q. I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...
A. 23 October 2011: The guy's an immature douche, I concur. "Damaged goods", speak for himself, he's clearly missed something while growing up. Good riddance! You can do way way better, and there are perfectly healthy men out there with a healthy look on things who ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with or even support my daughter when her partner does everything to alienate her from us?
Q. I am in my early sixties, happily married. My daughter lives in Ireland and is a single mother even if she lives with her partner. They are both unemployed. How do you deal with your daughter's partner when he shows signs of personality disorder...
A. 22 October 2011: It's hard, and what's worse is that there is nothing you can do either. Your daughter is an adult, you have no control over her, and she needs to stand up to this man on her own.
All you can do is support her when she does try to get away fro... (read in full...)
Sex with my younger boyfriend sucks. How much time should I give him to improve?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have known each other for almost a year. He is a very lovely and caring guy. He is also tall, handsome, dark hair, and muscular (ok he's really my type). He just moved from Poland to US when we first met. Since I came fro...
A. 22 October 2011: Hey there, yes it's true that the best sex in my life was with a man who was a virgin. He was great from the start, and every time we had sex after that got better. He's by far the best sexual match I've had so far in my life, and yes, it completely ... (read in full...)
How do I let him know I'm up for a FWB relationship without sounding stupid?
Q. hi everyone. I want to get into a FWB relationship with a guy i know. Im pretty sure he'd be up for it, but how do i suggest it/let him know thats what i want without sounding really stupid? Any advice please? Thanks!...
A. 21 October 2011: You will risk looking stupid if he's not up for it. But if he's up for it you won't be looking stupid. I felt pretty darn awkward when I was hooking up with my first lover. I first sent him a text asking if he was up for something interesting and ... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 21 October 2011: I'm all for him making his own choices, but as a woman I strongly dislike comments of the obstinate nature judging all women as stereotypical sluts only interested in a shag, who trash their boyfriends sexual prowess. As if that's all there is to ... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 21 October 2011: A one time experience with an escort will hardly make you a great lover, if that's what you think. Sorry to ruin your fantasy about this one, but you've missed some crucial points. First being that your female friends obviously suck, no offense. But ... (read in full...)
Are my dreams revealing an inability to have sexual fantasies?
Q. Hi there, I have a question about dreams. In particular, dreams of a sexual or intimate nature. Whenever I have a dream of this kind, I find that something always happens to interrupt or stop the 'action' before anything happens. This could be an...
A. 21 October 2011: Oh yes, as Tisha said, this doesn't have to be about sex at all. Sex in dreams is very rarely about actual real life sex. What it means depends on what sex means to you. Is it a release, and escape, pleasure, is it something you connect with ... (read in full...)
Sex with my younger boyfriend sucks. How much time should I give him to improve?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and I have known each other for almost a year. He is a very lovely and caring guy. He is also tall, handsome, dark hair, and muscular (ok he's really my type). He just moved from Poland to US when we first met. Since I came fro...
A. 21 October 2011: Ok, this isn't related to him being inexperienced or not. Some things you learn, others things you have a natural talent with or natural lack of talent with. If your boyfriend is to last longer and doesn't last longer by default, then you need to ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl smiles at you?
Q. Hi, I am 24 years old and never had a girlfriend before. I just had a question, sometimes when I'm out I see girls smile at me when they see me. Like this one time I was out running at the park and I made eye contact with a girl while we were ...
A. 21 October 2011: They like you. So they smile. If you like them back you smile back. Smiling is the very basic and classic form of flirtation.
Could be of course they just smile to be polite, but if it is not in one of those occasions where you expect people t... (read in full...)
Can women really be addicted to a man for the sex?
Q. Okay ladies, this is pretty sexual. What do you think of a man that is a, for lack of a better word, GOD in bed. Can women really be addicted to a man that can basically just give her absolute pleasure anytime, anywhere, all the time? Would cheating ...
A. 21 October 2011: Well, some women talk to their friends about the sex they've had, and others don't. That one depends on the person and how open about sex they are. Not many women are as open about sex, really, Sex and the City opened that door for many who before ... (read in full...)
My Friends with benefits relationship has gone wrong because now he has feelings for me. Should I break up with him?.
Q. Hi everyone! For a while now I've been sleeping with a guy who I'm friendly with. We both agreed it would be a no strings attached relationship, which I'm completely happy with. You see my life is pretty chaotic I'm up in college during the w...
A. 21 October 2011: He can't handle just the sex with you. He's going to fall deeper.
Do you like the guy? As I see it you can have a different sort of arrangement with him as well. You could tell him that you will date him. That you and him are dating exclusiv... (read in full...)
Nice guys finish last
Q. Nice guys are divided into 2 catagories. The first is the "self proclaimed" (SP). this is the guys that seems to scream, "I'm a nice guy!" These guys are oozing charm on the surface but when you get down to it they are just your "typical male". They ...
A. 21 October 2011: I'm really tired of this clishè. It's way too simplistic. What happened for example to the immature men who are nice, sure enough, they find love, and then they reverse 180 degrees because they need to "find themselves" or something? And what ... (read in full...)
He said if I ever fell pregnant he would leave me if I didn't get an abortion.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, we plan to have a future together, have even spoken about marriage and kids, but kids would be at least 10 years away. (I know sometimes relatioships don't work out, but we do have a good ...
A. 21 October 2011: On a side note, who pays for contraception? You or him, or do you split the bill?
If he was scared, ok, as long as it stays a one time thing and he takes back the threat. That sort of threat is really what makes a man a low-life. If your family f... (read in full...)
27 virgin who has never dated. Is there hope for me?
Q. I am a 27 year old man who is also a virgin. I have never dated, never kissed never been in a relationship at all. All I have ever done is had cybersex and phonesex. If I ever do manage to meet a woman that wants to have sex with me I'm afraid I ...
A. 21 October 2011: DoubleM is right. The best way to flirt is to look into their eyes and smile. If they smile back the attraction is mutual. Then just talk and get to know her. Worst case scenario you have made a new friend who can introduce you to other women. Best ... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 21 October 2011: PS. being a virgin does not mean sex will be terrible. And what difference does it make, if you have sex with someone you care about at least you have the chance to have every other time be greater than the last, in case it actually does turn out ... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 21 October 2011: Poster, if it's really true that women wont give you a chance because you are a virgin then why do you keep telling them you are when you meet them? Keep that sort of information for when you actually get serious with someone.
But I really d... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 21 October 2011: Reginna is absolutely right, the girls you are looking at might not want relationships, but oh so many do. More women than men your age want a relationship. You shouldn't have a problem meeting plenty who are looking for a relationship, but you have ... (read in full...)
Are my dreams revealing an inability to have sexual fantasies?
Q. Hi there, I have a question about dreams. In particular, dreams of a sexual or intimate nature. Whenever I have a dream of this kind, I find that something always happens to interrupt or stop the 'action' before anything happens. This could be an...
A. 20 October 2011: How can you not be a virgin yet never have been with a woman? Are you hinting at being gay? Or what's the story?
Anyway, the reason your dreams prevent you from continuing is because you are scared to do so. Your subconsciousness only reflects... (read in full...)
I feel foolish being a virgin at 21
Q. I feel worthless because me being 21 and a virgin now that I look at it is foolish and pathetic. I was so blinded to actually think I was going to find someone to share myself with but now its really a fantasy. Women my age aren't looking for ...
A. 20 October 2011: One night stands are the quickest way, friends with benefits need some investment to find the suitable partner (never a real friend mind you, but someone you have and arrangement with). A girlfriend is the ultimate best option, preferably a ... (read in full...)
Why do I compare my personality to other people's?
Q. Hi I need some advise, I feel like there's something wrong with me?? I always compare my personality to other girls. When I over here girls talking sometimes I think to myself, 'She's so much funnier than I am, 'I would never think of saying ...
A. 20 October 2011: If you don't know what to say, take confidence in knowing that among two who care for each other words are not needed. You can be quiet, and still enjoy each others company. That's what a friend once said to me when I said I didn't have anything ... (read in full...)
Why don't the question askers read their mail?
Q. Hello all, From time to time as a regular Aunt on this site, I receive messages in my mailbox from people needing a personal reply to their problems. I am more than happy to help if I can and I do reply to all messages with help or information w...
A. 20 October 2011: Could be a lot of them abandon their account?... (read in full...)
How does a large guy make himself more attractive to women?
Q. As a large guy at the 18. (6'4 and 17 and a half stone) How can I make myself more attractive to the opposite sex? I'm got quite a round face and although I can hide my stomach and that sort of thing I do struggle to look 'attractive'. I feel my ...
A. 20 October 2011: (First I must tell you that I am not familiar with stones, I think in kg, so I don't know how large you are, Im just going on the "Im a large guy" part).
Dress for your size is a good tip. Just because you are large doesn't mean you should w... (read in full...)
Schools won't take me in, do I have a future? Help!
Q. Hey, well before i start i'm 14 years old and i am in England so i'm sure school situations and things like that are rather different to places in America so just clearing that up. Well haven't been in school for a year now...
A. 20 October 2011: Where are your parents in all of this? Could they support your move, so that you can go to schools further away? Could the support you in fighting the system? It sounds as if you are up against all of this on your own. Find someone else to aid you. ... (read in full...)
She rejected me because she doesn't want to risk our friendship!
Q. Hey there, after a long friendship I finally built up the courage to ask a this girl out. We've always had a very flirtatious and hands on relationship so I thought it was the natural step. Apparently not. I asked, I got a on. She didn't want to ...
A. 20 October 2011: I can't say I've been directly in her shoes. I did have a friend who was crushing on me once though, but he never asked me for anything, so there was nothing there to reject... If he had asked I'd have said no though, because I just wasn't attracted ... (read in full...)
Why didn't he want to continue?
Q. Please, please, I really need your help. I have so many mixed feelings now that writing this is hard. I had recently gave my bf my v-card. It was unexpected to him because I've planned it all to my self. We've dated for a year and up til now, all ...
A. 20 October 2011: He just didn't want it to hurt for you. And with you not speaking up, what do you expect? He's not a mind reader. He saw blood, rumour has it loosing your virginity hurts for girls, he thought it best to stop rather than make you hurt in silence and ... (read in full...)
He said if I ever fell pregnant he would leave me if I didn't get an abortion.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, we plan to have a future together, have even spoken about marriage and kids, but kids would be at least 10 years away. (I know sometimes relatioships don't work out, but we do have a good ...
A. 20 October 2011: He threatened you, of course you took a stance, regardless of whether you would want an abortion or not. Because he didn't ASK YOU what you think of abortions or what you'd do if you were to fall pregnant, he didn't sit you down and discussed how ... (read in full...)
Can't find the perfect woman (or near perfect woman).....
Q. I'm quite a perfectionist, granted. I've had several girlfriends throughout my twenties so far but I can't seem to find the 'complete package'. My ex girlfriend was perfect in respect to the fact that we had an amazing physical connection from ...
A. 20 October 2011: Have you only had two relationships? You said several, but you mentioned these two, why these two?
I would hold out for there being someone you match better with, and that you just haven't met her yet. I wouldn't say what you want makes you a pe... (read in full...)
He's 21, but still has tantrums. Do I tell him? Does he need counselling? or what? It affects me, but he never thinks about that.
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years (best friend of 5 years) has a BIG problem that I don't know if I should bother dealing with any longer, so I need your advice. We're both 21. I love him to death. But he just cannot handle problems he comes across, no...
A. 20 October 2011: "I don't throw a fit like he does, but it brings me down when my bf decides to yell, hang up on me and punish me for something that happened to him."
Do you know what this is called? Abusive behaviour. He is punishing you when he feels like "li... (read in full...)
27 virgin who has never dated. Is there hope for me?
Q. I am a 27 year old man who is also a virgin. I have never dated, never kissed never been in a relationship at all. All I have ever done is had cybersex and phonesex. If I ever do manage to meet a woman that wants to have sex with me I'm afraid I ...
A. 19 October 2011: "If I ever do manage to meet a woman that wants to have sex with me I'm afraid I will fail miserably because I'm a virgin"
Being a virgin doesn't automatically make you a bad lover. A good lover is someone who looks out for his partner, is eager... (read in full...)
I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!
Q. I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...
A. 17 October 2011: You did not do anything wrong by not saying this earlier. This was a private matter, not something you would want to publicly announce to everyone and no one. Telling him was a sign of confidence and trust in him, which he did not show that he ... (read in full...)
I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!
Q. I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...
A. 17 October 2011: I think you are the one who should not forgive him. I have no idea what it is he is talking about, as there is nothing you did that he needs to forgive you for. I think that maybe your boyfriend isn't the kind of man you thought. It is a horrible ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
