| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
Q. Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
A. 7 October 2011: Okay, people don't understand it, that's what I see. People do not see the difference between a player and a natural flirt/friendly person. Friendly flirting is just a person being nice. It's like playful teasing, and it is done only when you kn... (read in full...)
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
Q. Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
A. 5 October 2011: Yes, there is harmless flirting, but what this girl did wasn't harmless, and she should have taken the hint when it happened over and over. However, harmless flirting exists.
Then again I will also add that I too know of a girl who doesn't ... (read in full...)
Am I just another good-hearted loser in this world?
Q. Hey Everyone, When it comes down to dating, sex, and the opposite sex I'm a very confused man.I have had at least 7+ females tell me in a blunt, sincere, and point blank manor that they find me to be physically attrracive and claim that they rea...
A. 4 October 2011: You are 23. Not 35. You are not old. You have not run out of your opportunities, or chances. You have some 7+ girls that turned you down. And you let it get to you when it shouldn't.
The reality of dating is that you, like everyone else, good as ... (read in full...)
I don't think I took my b/c pill when I had unprotected sex!
Q. hi, i have been taking my pill as normal, about 5 days in i had unprotected sex then today, about 4 days later i found one of my pills on the floor... it can only be from this month as i just moved out. i will be taking a pregnancy test when i a...
A. 4 October 2011: You are protected from day one if you start with birth control pills on the first day of your period. If you start at any other day you have to take them for 7 days and then you are protected. You do not need to be on them for a month before you are ... (read in full...)
How can I control my lust?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I think my lust level is way too high compared to normal women. I swore to myself I won't sleep with anyone til I'm married, but I think about sex 24/7. I know this sounds like a paradox, but I really don't want to have sex...
A. 4 October 2011: Why is it a bad idea to take birth control pills? Plenty of women take them every day. You increase the risk of some things, and then again there are benefits that come with them. It's all a matter of judging risk and benefits and see what is the ... (read in full...)
I don't want my first to be a stranger, but at university the temptation is always there!!
Q. I'm 18 and I've not slept with anyone before and it doesn't help that when i go out in the evenings and meet guys that i'm so tempted to sleep with them! Two nights ago, I met this guy and we were really on it with each other!! I couldn't get ...
A. 4 October 2011: If you find it hard to say no once the action gets on, and the temptation is high, you have to stop putting yourself into positions where you are tempted and where it is hard to say no! If you start making out with a guy and get turned on you have ... (read in full...)
You don't bring me flowers anymore..
Q. I've been dating someone for 3 months...we moved fast and are in a committed relationship. I want to know why things change...We used to text constantly during the day..now? Not as much...He used to bring flowers...Now? Nope..We have been ...
A. 4 October 2011: It's getting comfortable. Flowers etc. will primarily be for special occasions. They aren't "the regular", so you must not ever get used to special pampering, because those things are extra's and not the norm.
This is the normal side of the rela... (read in full...)
I don't think I took my b/c pill when I had unprotected sex!
Q. hi, i have been taking my pill as normal, about 5 days in i had unprotected sex then today, about 4 days later i found one of my pills on the floor... it can only be from this month as i just moved out. i will be taking a pregnancy test when i a...
A. 4 October 2011: I know it is too late to take the morning after pill, but I would still suggest you take it as, like I said, it can take up to 5 days for sperm to connect with your egg. It is just so much more likely that this has already happened within the first ... (read in full...)
Married to rich girl, but her parents don't wana see me attending parties at their place, my wife doesn't know this, what should I do know?
Q. I am married to a girl for last 10 months with whom I was in a relationship for one year before we got married December last year. She is from extremely rich family and my monthly salary is equaled of her daily pocket money . Somehow she ...
A. 4 October 2011: You have lied to your wife for too long. Your loyalty lies with HER and not with her parents. Always remember where your loyalty lies, and every decision you make will be easier. You are married to your wife, your loyalty lies with her, and it to ... (read in full...)
I don't think I took my b/c pill when I had unprotected sex!
Q. hi, i have been taking my pill as normal, about 5 days in i had unprotected sex then today, about 4 days later i found one of my pills on the floor... it can only be from this month as i just moved out. i will be taking a pregnancy test when i a...
A. 3 October 2011: What do you mean your boyfriend of 2 years has now gone? He was the one you had sex with, right? Did he get scared when you mentioned you might have not been on the pill? This part is confusing.
However, you should take a morning after pill. I ... (read in full...)
What's a good idea for his birthday?
Q. My boyfriend's birthday is next month and I'm at a loss when it comes to his gift. We've been together for a year and a half, and on his last birthday, I got him a bottle of cologne, a dress shirt, a nice sweater, a pilsner glass w/his favorite MLB ...
A. 3 October 2011: You are an overdoer. One simple gift that means something is more than enough. Even a card with some loving words on them is plentiful.
May I ask what he has given you for your birthday? If he isn't the who goes all out as well then it is time ... (read in full...)
What's something really sexy I can do for his birthday?
Q. dear cupid, soo, my boyfriend's birthday is coming up. i've already bought the first part of his present. aaand of course, the other part of his present will probably be somewhere along the lines of birthday sex. the thing is, i want to come up ...
A. 3 October 2011: Jumping in bed and screwing him probably IS the sexiest thing you can do for him. Few guys really care about the make-up and outfit. Instead, wear a sexy or nice outfit that you think he will like for the day-time, so he gets to see you in it, and ... (read in full...)
I'm only 15, if nothing's happened with a guy yet, will it ever?
Q. im 15 and i have not had any interact with a boy. ive never been kissed, or had a boyfriend or had sex. i get attention quite a bit from older men. but im worried that if i havent manged to do anything so far it will neverhappen. like i keep ...
A. 3 October 2011: Yes, things will happen. Don't worry about it! Things WILL, without doubt, happen. The only way you could prevent it from happening is by never talking to a male ever again in your life.
Guys like girls. Guys have a harder time getting a girl tha... (read in full...)
Does Size Make The Man?
Q. I’d like to first thank Tennisstar88 for giving me the idea to write this article. Even though this is a sensitive topic to most men, my hope is someone will benefit from reading it. Enjoy! ------...
A. 3 October 2011: Yes, naturally any statistic isn't 100% accurate, as they don't ask entire populations. However my point is that it is more beneficiary to men who are insecure about their penises to know that their penis is normal, instead of thinking their penis ... (read in full...)
Does Size Make The Man?
Q. I’d like to first thank Tennisstar88 for giving me the idea to write this article. Even though this is a sensitive topic to most men, my hope is someone will benefit from reading it. Enjoy! ------...
A. 3 October 2011: I just want to add that according to the studies I've come across, and sexual education in Norway, the average is not 5-6 inches. That number is the median of the average. The average size when erect is actually between 3.9 and 7.9 inches. Most men, ... (read in full...)
Men: Who hasn't cheated? I'd like to know why.
Q. Are there any men out there that have NEVER cheated on their girlfriend, or wife? I mean - no form of cheating. No online flirting, no emotional cheating .. etc. If so, what made you stay faithful? ...
A. 3 October 2011: ... Women cheat too, why is this question directed only at men? Women cheat too, and for the exact same reasons I believe. And with that logic, women remain faithful for the same reason men stay faithful: love and respect.
Selfish and self cen... (read in full...)
An older guy w/ two teen boys is flirting! Then his elder son did it!
Q. Hola! Yes, I'm learning spanish! Okay enough funny talk here's the question. Should an older guy w/ two teenage boys be winking and smiling and flirting at me? That happened when I went out o eat at a Chinese restaurant last friday. Then lat...
A. 3 October 2011: No, they should not, but you can't always control what people do. Ignore them. Or tell your parents. It's creepy. ... (read in full...)
My best friend and sister were dating, now they're broken up. What can I say?
Q. Hi, I have a problem that does not directly concern me, but my best friend and my sister. My sister and my friend were in a relationship for about five months, but broke up just yesterday. I have had a suspition that my friend was more in love...
A. 3 October 2011: My once close friend had a major crush on my brother once, and he didn't like her so much back. They did however have an affair of sorts, which everyone knew about, he just never admitted to it.
When they broke up he was as silent about it as be... (read in full...)
Can I make myself taller?
Q. m 22 yrs old n my height is 5.4 inch only.. Is there another way to increase my height .. Plz suggest me How to increase my height?...
A. 3 October 2011: You can't. Height is genetically determined. Put extra thick soles in your shoes to appear taller, and always walk with your back straight, that gives you "extra" height. ... (read in full...)
What do you do when a man confronts you for "talking" to his girl?
Q. Let's say you meet a girl by herself who's nice and attractive. You approach her and strike up a conversation with her. Everything seems to be moving along fine.... Five minutes later, her boyfriend shows up all annoyed and angry, says something l...
A. 3 October 2011: If it is a matter of life or death then I suggest you move.
However, in the less serious cases, just say a polite "I'm sorry, I was unaware, she didn't inform me that she was taken".
It's the girls who egg on to this sort of behaviour it app... (read in full...)
Is it a stigma to be a 31 year old Male Virgin? And is my drastic solution the best one, in the circumstances?
Q. I don't know how to put this as a question: I just want to know if I'm not alone in the way that I feel? My story: I'm a 31-year-old guy and still a virgin. I am deeply pained - being a virgin at 31 feels like a stigma and to a large extent i...
A. 3 October 2011: Dear poster, please ignore the foolish comment by the male anon who said that sex will not be special for a sexually experienced woman. Sex is never about times you do it, nor does it become less special by each time you do it.... Sex is special to ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with feeling so Betrayed? My husband told family intimate details of our sex life.
Q. My husband recently told my family that I let him try anal sex. This was really rude, disrespectful, and certainly uncalled for on my part. I am really upset that he felt it was 'ok' to share this private and personal information with my family of a...
A. 2 October 2011: "Any one know how to speak with my family over the information shared--if I should even bring it up again to tell my side of the story or why I thought it was alright to try it in the first place?"
You do not owe your family an explanat... (read in full...)
Dont like when my GF drinks
Q. Im really not sure at all as to why i feel this way, but for as long as i can remember ive always hated when a girlfriend of mine would drink. Im totally not against drinking, all my friends do and i have a few occasionally but ive only been drunk ...
A. 2 October 2011: Do you drink yourself? You said you have only got drunk once, but do you have a few drinks now and then? It's ok that you want a girlfriend who will not drink, as long as you yourself abstain from alcohol. Or does the line go at a girlfriend being ... (read in full...)
Am I being used for money, sex, and transportation or am I seriously being paranoid and over-reactive?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months. At first everything was great he announced us being together on Facebook and all that. But one day he suddenly set his status to single. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I ...
A. 2 October 2011: I think he's playing you. It's not okay for him to set his facebook status from relationship to single. It isn't. You said you don't have yours up, but that does not mean the same as telling the world you are single when you are no. He is announcing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dumped me out of the blue
Q. I'm 33 and have been in a fabulous relationship of 6 months with my boyfriend. He speed up things since we met by introducing me to his friends and family very quickly, inviting me to go with him to a wedding 3 weeks after our first kiss, making ...
A. 1 October 2011: "After 4.5 months he told me his desire to have a child with me and after discussion we did not use any condom anymore."
Whaaaaaaat?! And you accepted. I keep saying this to all women I meet who are in a relationship with a man like this: easy com... (read in full...)
Sharing our issues with friends??
Q. Is it okay for my boyfriend to be out with his friends drinking and discussing our personal problems with them? He says it's normal and that maybe I should start telling my friends more of our personal issues to vent or whatnot. I think it's ...
A. 1 October 2011: People talk to their friends about their problems. In fact it is more of a girl thing to do, to dissect every tiny bit of the relationship with their friends. It's the guys who tend to keep problems bottled up. It is normal to discuss things w... (read in full...)
Since starting birth control pills, she's changed! I'm afraid I'll have to break up with her!
Q. My girlfriend has been on (Yaz or whatever) Birthcontrol for atleast the past 5 months. In the begining of our relationship, about last july, we had alot of sex, about 3 times a day, it has recently in the last few months, since she has been on ...
A. 1 October 2011: The don't think of breaking up as an option. Force her to talk to you. Tell her your concerns. Don't back off just because she says she doesn't want to talk about it. Don't be afraid of a fight. This is a serious problem that NEEDS to be discussed, ... (read in full...)
Who is a Natural flirt? And what qualities signify a Natural Flirt?
Q. Today as I was leaving work and walking to my car, I passed, going in the opposite direction a co-worker who I *barely* know who was walking with another man. He is a tall, attractive man with an engaging smile and bright eyes. He's 10-15-maybe 20 ...
A. 1 October 2011: Good point!... (read in full...)
How do I quit porn?
Q. I don't have sex but i just can't seem to leave porn(which i think is morally wrong).Someone please give me an advice on how to quit porn....
A. 1 October 2011: How do you go about finding this porn? Do you search online, and wish to be able to stop? You are in control of your actions, if you do not like to do what you do then stop doing it. If it is difficult then remove yourself from the temptation. ... (read in full...)
I work hard, while he borrows money from me and then takes days off from work to watch sports!
Q. My partner pays maintenance for 1 child + ex. He’s a salesman so income varies. I just had to lend him money to replace his stolen phone because he couldn’t afford to, and then he also needed extra money to tide him over until his commissions were ...
A. 30 September 2011: You shouldn't jump ahead of yourself when you see him take a day off. Sure, it is bothering you. But don't attack him for taking days off. Instead, go about it by saying you don't wont to lend out any money. Then when he needs something he will HAVE ... (read in full...)
He is afraid of committment! Is there a chance one day we might be together?
Q. my ex and I used to be best friends and then we decided to go out together. they were the best months until once he told me that he is afraid of commitment. he feels trapped when he is serious.at the same time he does not want to lose me. he didn't ...
A. 30 September 2011: Yes, there is a chance you might end up together. But it is just as likely that you will not end up together, and it is just as likely that you will end up with someone else as well.
You still haven't gotten over him, so you keep hoping you and ... (read in full...)
If men want their women to look like porn stars, why don't us women care that our men don't look like porn stars??
Q. I'm 25, and I'm here to discuss pornography and men. Some but not all men complain their women don't look like porn stars/models etc. but how come women don't do the opposite and ask for 6-packs/chiselled bodies / big penises etc? Or if they do,...
A. 30 September 2011: I don't get the question either. You aren't asking if men want porn stars, you're asking if men want women who look a certain way, and why women supposedly don't do this? While at the same time you say women DO do this, although just as a joke ... (read in full...)
My family thinks I'm too young for this marriage
Q. hello i need someones opinion. im getting married in November but my family does not think that is the best choice. they say that if i get married im going to be miserable that im going to want to I've my life later on in the future and im going t ...
A. 30 September 2011: Whether it is true or not, it's too late now for them to offer their opinion. You're getting married in a month. And I doubt there is much that will stop you from going ahead with it, with it being only a month away. Besides, it could very well be ... (read in full...)
Could I really just be a late bloomer?
Q. Okay, I'm honestly starting to believe I'm a late bloomer. Both my dad and my brother are both hairy guys. I'm 19 and my navel hair is just starting to kick in. Everybody keeps saying, "Oh some guys don't grow hair on their bodies." Bullshit, Both ...
A. 30 September 2011: How is that a pull out of ass answer? It true! You aren't as hairy as they were at 19 so what do you want us to tell you?!
Some guys, like you, aren't as hairy as others! Maybe you just take longer to get there, but really, just because all the ... (read in full...)
Is it a stigma to be a 31 year old Male Virgin? And is my drastic solution the best one, in the circumstances?
Q. I don't know how to put this as a question: I just want to know if I'm not alone in the way that I feel? My story: I'm a 31-year-old guy and still a virgin. I am deeply pained - being a virgin at 31 feels like a stigma and to a large extent i...
A. 30 September 2011: Ah, this question "should I lose my virginity to a prostitute" is so common it is, excuse me, bordering cliché. You can search our archives for "virgin prostitute" and find houndreds of answers and all the pro's and con's and what women will think ... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for 2 and a half years for my boyfriend to talk to me! Is he worth it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years and a month. (Since I was 12, and now I'm 17.) After 2 and a half years together, he moved across the US from me. Before he left, everything in our relationship was GREAT! He was the perfect ...
A. 29 September 2011: HOW do you break up and get back together when you aren't speaking? Through friends? "Oh hey, your girlfriend asked me to tell you she's now your ex girlfriend"???
No. This doesn't fly. You've not been having a relationship any more than an imagi... (read in full...)
If your son/daughter came home and told you they were pregnant or got someone pregnant, how would you respond?
Q. How would you respond if your son/daughter came home and told you they either got or is pregnant? And I mean out of wedlock, at a young age. Around 16-18 years old. Last week, my mom told me she would be dissapointed in me, but supportive. It got me ...
A. 29 September 2011: I also need to add that 16 is the age of consent here in Norway. It'd be a completely different matter if they are under 16. That'd involve higher authorities.
Oh, and I'm personally against abortion. I wouldn't encourage an abortion if they are... (read in full...)
If your son/daughter came home and told you they were pregnant or got someone pregnant, how would you respond?
Q. How would you respond if your son/daughter came home and told you they either got or is pregnant? And I mean out of wedlock, at a young age. Around 16-18 years old. Last week, my mom told me she would be dissapointed in me, but supportive. It got me ...
A. 29 September 2011: All completely theoretically as I don't have kids:
It depends on whether or not they are over or under 18. At 18 you are legally an adult, and strictly speaking, not my responsibility any longer.
I see this entirely as a financial proble... (read in full...)
We flirt all the time, then he goes silent on facebook. Does it mean anything?
Q. So I work with this guy and we flirt all the time and are friends on facebook. So I sent him message saying it would be nice to know him better but he never responded, however he is rarely on facebook what does it mean any suggestions?...
A. 29 September 2011: If you flirt all the time aside from facebook, then why should facebook matter? Just contiue flirting with him by other means. ... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: She's 19 and not a baby. If she doesn't know what constitutes as a virgin or not then she's to blame herself, not anyone else. As the adult that she is, although young adult, she is responsible for her own education and her own knowledge about ... (read in full...)
His ex is a newly married good looking girl. What does it mean to us he checks her out on FB regularly?
Q. We are just about to get married and I found out that my future husband is regularly visiting facebook profile of his ex who is also freshly married. He told me about her, that he left her as he couldn't imagine being with her for the rest of his l...
A. 29 September 2011: If they aren't hanging out in person then don't pay attention to it. I'd be more worried if they often hang out or she flirts with him or if they send each other late night texts and are intimate with each other, talk on the phone for hours, or if ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way when I mention a friend?
Q. So I'm sleeping with a guy that at first was only once week a week and now it has turned into 3-5 days a week. He has told me he wants nothing serious, but lately he has been wanting to meet my family, me to meet his friends, and do things like go ...
A. 29 September 2011: Don't ask him what he wants. Just watch his actions and let things happen by themselves.
Then, if you feel you are slowly going official, at one point refer to him as your boyfriend when he hears it, or introduce him as your boyfriend. If he re... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up and I regret what I did, is there hope?
Q. My ex and I been broken up for about 2 months already. We broke up once and it lasted for 4 months and we both liked other people, but in the end, she came back because of the NC rule and we ended up going back out. We went out for 3 and half years ...
A. 29 September 2011: "But now I realized I can't throw away 3 and half years away just like that and that she means the world to me and I really want to try again and accept that we all make mistakes and that I dont need her in my life to be happy, but I want her in my ... (read in full...)
My ex and I broke up and I regret what I did, is there hope?
Q. My ex and I been broken up for about 2 months already. We broke up once and it lasted for 4 months and we both liked other people, but in the end, she came back because of the NC rule and we ended up going back out. We went out for 3 and half years ...
A. 29 September 2011: *no contact, perhaps? Is that what it means?... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: Ah, well, she basically asked for it. You see, even if you only slipped in half of your penis, that alone would have been enough to take her virginity. Even if your girlfriend got only what she asked for, she's not be a virgin any more. I think ... (read in full...)
I've been waiting for 2 and a half years for my boyfriend to talk to me! Is he worth it?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 years and a month. (Since I was 12, and now I'm 17.) After 2 and a half years together, he moved across the US from me. Before he left, everything in our relationship was GREAT! He was the perfect ...
A. 29 September 2011: "I've been waiting 2 and a half years now, but is he really worth it? "
No.
There's no place in the world where this makes a relationship. He hasn't spoken to you for over 2 years, that means you've been single for 2 years. I'd move on if I... (read in full...)
She saved herself for marriage, but we went too far! She's been crying for days!
Q. I was an arse. I've been with this woman for a year and she has been saving herself for marriage. Last week, she asked me to let her experience only a bit of myself and I impulsively took her. She hasn't stopped crying for days. She says she lov...
A. 29 September 2011: You will need to explain what you mean by "impulsively". What actually happened? I understand you don't want to go into detail, but did she scream for you to stop while you continued or was it a small slip and you stopped right away?
I'm opting f... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way when I mention a friend?
Q. So I'm sleeping with a guy that at first was only once week a week and now it has turned into 3-5 days a week. He has told me he wants nothing serious, but lately he has been wanting to meet my family, me to meet his friends, and do things like go ...
A. 28 September 2011: Yes, his feelings have changed, but he's too proud to admit it, he doesn't want to be vulnerable. Take it slow, and stop mentioning the other friends. Try to get to know him better and show and interest in him as a person, that is if you also want ... (read in full...)
His ex is a newly married good looking girl. What does it mean to us he checks her out on FB regularly?
Q. We are just about to get married and I found out that my future husband is regularly visiting facebook profile of his ex who is also freshly married. He told me about her, that he left her as he couldn't imagine being with her for the rest of his l...
A. 27 September 2011: Maybe he feels she's a great girl, just wasn't the one for him. And maybe he always felt bad about hurting her feelings and breaking up with her. If you care about someone, and are a good person, breaking up with them can make you feel pretty ... (read in full...)
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