| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 27 January 2012: I think it is imporant to support your friends even if they make decisionsyou wouldn't do for yourself. You know yourself best, and if you are happy then I am happy for you and wiling to support that. I don't know much about your man, other than ... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 26 January 2012: Maybe you should get yourself a ring. Or maybe you can take him to have his bracelet or ring engraved with the proposal date? It's a cool date after all.... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 26 January 2012: Why do you want a token? When you get married you will have wedding pictures as a token. A proposal doesn't need to come with a token, all a proposal needs is that you keep your word and are sincere and honest when you ask.
:)
I don't think... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 15 November 2011: It's incredibly selfish to want to go through with an act you KNOW your partner is not enjoying, your partner feels uncomfortable with, and your partner genuinely does not want but is being forced into. I don't get why a loving partner would want to ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 13 November 2011: Don't worry about the cost of the LadyComp. After all, your boyfriend will be the one paying for it since it is HE who wants to stop using condoms... Tell him there is the option, now all he needs to do is buy it!... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Just poop the question already (yes I know I have the humour of a 5 year old)... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Fine, I wouldn't have wanted that toilet paper holder anyway, unless it had my wedding date engraved on it. Then it'd just be a matter of getting married on that exact date.
A little linguistic corny fun, if you end up saying "I do".. The word "do... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 9 November 2011: Cindy I didn't know you had cheese in you, haha... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend I think her relationship is doomed?
Q. My friend cheated on her long term partner of about 17 years. He was always good to her. She treated him pretty poorly when she decided to dump him for the fella that she had been cheating with. Few years on now she has married this guy. Deep down I ...
A. 8 November 2011: No, keep it to yourself. You can hint at being concerned if it comes up, but tread very cautiously with this one... She needs to make her own decisions and do what she judges as best. If you are a good friend you will support her even when she does ... (read in full...)
I need help preparing a marriage proposal
Q. Ok I always help folks here now I need YOUR help... My boyfriend and I are a very non-traditional couple. He is 13 years younger than I am (he's 38 and I'm 51) We were Long Distance We started out as NSA/FWB (I was in an open marriag...
A. 8 November 2011: February 2012, leap year. Traditionally women can propose on the 29th of February.. so do it then. I don't have any great ideas for how or where, I'd keep it simple and sincere, and just drop the question when you really feel the love and passion ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else ever wish they were a young child again?
Q. Anyone ever wish they could go back to being a young child?.i often wish that .do i need counselling or would you say its normal to think like that ?...
A. 8 November 2011: I don't wish I was a child, I hated being a child and couldn't wait to grow up so I could decide over myself and not be told what to do and yelled at for no reason other than grown ups thinking they were smarter, then being too physically weak to ... (read in full...)
He chose to watch sexy nurses instead of time with me!
Q. My boyfriend chose watching sexy nurses on TV instead of reading the horoscope with me...what should I do?...
A. 8 November 2011: Why is it important that he reads the horoscope with you?
Do you also need him to read everything else with you, and do everything else with you, look at everything you look at and listen to everything you listen to?
Pick your battles, and fig... (read in full...)
Why do I attract horrible guys?
Q. Why do I keep attracting horrible guys? what is wrong with me?:(? Am a nice sweet girl, am loyal, caring loving would never lie or cheat on my bf. Each time I meet a guy, they all seem so sweet and find me amazing and I'd think we're in...
A. 8 November 2011: How long have your previous relationships lasted, and how many relationships have you been in? At what point in your past relationships did you think you were in love?
My best shot at this is that you rush into things and are naive. It takes a ... (read in full...)
How can I forget these images of my girlfriend with her ex's?
Q. I want to know how can I take my mind off things from my girlfriend. She had sex with t different guys before she met me and several times with them but now I'm with her and since she told me I really got mad. It gave me the bad picture of thinking ...
A. 8 November 2011: Well, if it's about her patterns of sexual relationships that trouble you then I think it is best if you let her go. I mean I'm no prude myself or anything, but I wouldn't want to date someone who's had a past including things that go against my ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 8 November 2011: I am on your side in this, condoms are a pain or discomfort, but if hormonal birth controls are an even greater discomfort then it isn't worth it. But have you talked to your doctor about alternatives during this time period? Haven't your doctor ... (read in full...)
I think my 30 year old work associate fancies me and its making me uncomfortable
Q. hey i'm 17 i need your advice. i work in a sports centre helping teach people martial arts, mainly self defence to police and all that stuff. anyway i work closely with the head instructor and have done for nearly 2 years now. the head ...
A. 8 November 2011: He is definitely crossing the lines. Either you need to be firm and put him in his place, or go above his head to his superior. It can be very difficult to address him on this and take a stance and tell him off, because you are younger than him and ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever met the one and let them get away? How do you accept it?
Q. How do you deal with knowing that you have lost and ruined your chance with probably someone who could of been the one for you? That gut feeling that eats inside of you, the thought of knowing you met someone so amazing, who looks and you like no ...
A. 8 November 2011: Is there any way to redeem what you did?
When you forgive yourself and accept what happened you will be able to move on.... (read in full...)
How can I forget these images of my girlfriend with her ex's?
Q. I want to know how can I take my mind off things from my girlfriend. She had sex with t different guys before she met me and several times with them but now I'm with her and since she told me I really got mad. It gave me the bad picture of thinking ...
A. 8 November 2011: How can you say you love her when you do not like the type of girl she is? Is it platonic love? Do you care for her, but perhaps only as a friend now?
There is no trick to "how to prevent you from having sex with her". You just DONT. Self con... (read in full...)
Is 'dry humping' morally wrong?
Q. We were making out and it just happened, we're both Christians and we want to wait till marriage to have sex, but is it wrong that we dry humped and we both enjoyed it? ...
A. 8 November 2011: In your case, yes. If you had to ask then there is doubt, and if there is doubt it is because you know it isn't right. ... (read in full...)
Can my boyfriend have an STD he doesn't know about, and transmit it through oral sex?
Q. Although my boyfriend's never been officially tested for STDs, he's pretty sure he's clear. From what I know, he hasn't had many previous sexual partners (although he didn't always use condoms because his then girlfriends were on birth control, and ...
A. 8 November 2011: Yes, it is possible.. The best way to find out is to GET TESTED.
He needs to get tested. It's protocol to get tested before each new relationship/sexual relationship. It's just good manners. It's rude not to. Of course he can have an STD without ... (read in full...)
Is my ex just being nice to try and get in my pants? I don't want to fool around with him as I still want a relationship...
Q. So I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago and we've just started talking again. He says he doesn't want a relationship with me anymore, but later told me he still wanted to fool around. But I still have feelings for him and still want to ...
A. 8 November 2011: Drop the contact again. He already stated he wants to keep fooling around with you, and he will work to win you over. If he can not respect your no, and have a pure friendship, then theres nothing you can do about it.
Also, as long as you still ha... (read in full...)
How can I improve my self esteem?
Q. I have very low self esteem now. I've never had much self esteem anyway, but now that I'm newly single, it's plunging down to a whole new level! I feel ugly, especially. I can't help comparing myself to other women, even to my own friends, and ...
A. 8 November 2011: You just broke up with your ex. That tells me two things: for one guys are obviously attracted to you, and second you are suffering from heart ache. Any break-up can make a person feel miserable about themselves, about their future, and imagine they ... (read in full...)
How has your past sexual experiences affected your marriage/Serious Prospective Relationship Experienced persons Opinion preferably
Q. Hi DC members This is a sex related question. I would like your honest comments about having several sex partners before you settle in life(find your soul mate/Mr. or Mrs Right to start a family with). I mean all the people you have been involved...
A. 7 November 2011: Male anon you are being immature yourself. What negative things are there, and if they are so likely howcome you didn't mention any? Because you don't have the experience to know if it actually affects the relationship in a negative way?
I've ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to keep weight on your butt and breasts but not your face?
Q. For the last 4 years, I have been in LDR and we meet after every three months or sometimes six months. Otherwise we keep it going through phone. There is 400 miles distance between us. When recently I visited her, after eight months, she gained s...
A. 7 November 2011: It is possible, sure, it can happen. But it is out of anyones control. Where your body stores fat, and where it will first lose fat, is genetically determined. It might be that if she works out she will keep the fat in her face and lose it on her ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she's only been with 2 men, but I don't believe her. Am I right?
Q. I dont know what to do. I have been with my girlfriend for the last 5 years, but I cant trust her. I am 25 and she is 24. She has told me that she has had two boyfriends before me who she had sex with, but I have heard that she has had more. I think ...
A. 7 November 2011: Why would you have to be with more women? Explain why. And use reason.
And why would you believe someone else, and not your girlfriend? Do you not trust her, do you not believe in her? Why? Is she deceitful, does she lie to you often? Why do y... (read in full...)
How can I cover a bruise on my face?
Q. I have a bruise on my face and i am worried as i have to go out on Wednesday and i don't want people to notice it. i have very short hair so it might be hard to hide it that way. i could put make up on it but i'm not sure if it would still be ...
A. 7 November 2011: Make-up, top shelf, good quality make-up. You start with a cover-stick on the discolored area, then add liquid foundation over (best coverage) and tap it on, don't smudge it out. Add extra foundation on the bruise (you put foundation on your entire ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my girlfriend? She is acting like a complete bitch!
Q. I need help with my girlfriend She is acting like a bitch and I know she is not but she says I constantly annoy her and always tell her what to do when the only thing I tell her to do is to don't drink to much whenever she does And she gets a...
A. 7 November 2011: Why are you saying she is acting like a bitch (which she is) but that you know thats not who she truly is?
Wake up and smell the roses, she is acting exactly like who she is, no one is forcing her to be rude and a bitch to you. She's doing th... (read in full...)
I don't want to let him go, but I need to if he doesn't see a future with me
Q. We've been together just over a year. I know he loves me in some fashion (I am one of maybe 3 people in his life that actually understands him and that he feels totally comfortable with). I asked him the other night if we were going anywhere with ...
A. 7 November 2011: He didn't say he needed more time to think about it. He said he needed time to get his finances sorted out.
Is there something else going on here, why are you in a hurry? Is there some reason why you can not wait until things are set and in order... (read in full...)
My son wants a civil partnership with his friend for financial reasons despite not being gay! Is this illegal? What should we do?
Q. I have a 23-year-old son, he's been in a relationship with his girlfriend for the last 18 months and everything's going well, he's got a good job, working in IT equipment sales and has a good social life. He lives with his best friend Steve who he's...
A. 7 November 2011: I guess this would be up there with financial fraud.. and they usually punish white collar crimes harder than other crimes.
Now, might be it'll never be found out. But if found out, then I think you might be talking jail time here. It wouldn't take... (read in full...)
Pasionless relationship after having a child
Q. I've been fairly happily married for the last 8 years and my wife and I were together for 5 years before that, so we've been together for a long time. We got along really well when we started out, we both studied the same things at University and ...
A. 7 November 2011: Marriage counseling? Private therapy session? That'd be money spent towards the marriage at least, and not towards temporary satisfaction.
Look into changing things to make you both happy. You feel trapped, so do something to set you free. I'... (read in full...)
How has your past sexual experiences affected your marriage/Serious Prospective Relationship Experienced persons Opinion preferably
Q. Hi DC members This is a sex related question. I would like your honest comments about having several sex partners before you settle in life(find your soul mate/Mr. or Mrs Right to start a family with). I mean all the people you have been involved...
A. 7 November 2011: I haven't settled down yet, but I have been in 3 relationships all lasting a year and a half, so I know what it's like to have ONE partner and stick to it.
I don't think past sex life has any impact on sex life with a spouse at all. If anything... (read in full...)
Ex says I should have sex with him because I owe him my virginity since he waited for me
Q. Me and my now ex-boyfriend just broke up because of me not being in love with him anymore. Although we're broken up, he's telling me to have sex with him so we can both loose our virginities and then he'll move on. He says if we do have sex, he'll ...
A. 7 November 2011: Don't do it. He just wants to get laid because he is a selfish self concerned perv. He just wants sex, and you owe him nada. Tell him that since he has so many other girls willing to spread their legs for him you aren't holding him back any longer. ... (read in full...)
What should I do to make him not move? A lot of our friends don't want him to move either
Q. The guy that I like/best friend who I am talking to wants to move. He's been wanting to move since the beginning of the school year. His parents have let him make that decision since his older sister lives to town he wants to move too but he does...
A. 7 November 2011: Tell him how you feel about him? If he knows how you feel, and returns those feelings, maybe he will want to stay with you.
If not.. when you love someone you got to set them free. Let him move. You will get to see him again later on. ... (read in full...)
Can you fall in love with someone you've never met before?
Q. So some of you may know me, I've posted a few questions about my relationship with my bf of 5 years. Well he is no longer my bf. We broke up about 3 weeks ago. It is kind of an awkward situation though because we still live together. This is because ...
A. 7 November 2011: Yes, you can fall in love without having met him. But you must not forget about the context either. You are in love with what you know so far. When never having met him, there's an extremely high chance of there being so many things you haven't seen ... (read in full...)
I'm a 21 year old male virgin, and it's killing my confidence. How am I supposed to deal with this?
Q. The situation: I'm a 21 year old male, in college, and despite attending a school famous for its academic programs and abundance of beautiful women, I'm still a virgin. Some clarifying information: 1. I have no religious or moral oppositio...
A. 7 November 2011: Question. If you had your first kiss at 20, and you are now 21, how did you manage to have 3 girlfriends of significance? 3 girlfriends and a fling as well in just one year? That to me sounds like 4 short term relationships, and not anything I'd ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 7 November 2011: Talk to your doctor about your options, that's the very best thing to do. Far better than risking pregnancy only to have abortions, who knows how many abortions you'd end up with that way... ... (read in full...)
I donated a kidney for love, how do I tell my parents back home?
Q. I am form Pakistan but currently on visit visa in States. On third day of my visit, two months back, I went to strip dance club and fell in love with striptease dancer who was beautiful beyond description. After meeting her, for next two weeks, ...
A. 6 November 2011: I do not think she thinks all you want is the green card. And if you and her still get along great, and want to marry, then seriously consider it.
As for your parents, you do not have to tell them you gave her a kidney, do you? Will they see you ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 6 November 2011: The experiences I've heard of about the baby comp is that it's a bit of a hit or miss. It's an "educated guess" as the weather reporters call it, haha. It is safer than the pull out method, and theoretically safe (safe days do exist), but sometimes ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend didn't talk to me at his birthday-party! Did I overreact?
Q. It was my boyfriend's birthday and he invited a lot of friends to his house. The problem is he stopped to chat with everyone but me and that got me really upset. He often looked at me to see if I was doing ok, but I kinda missed him and started ...
A. 6 November 2011: I think it is reasonable and understandable that you got upset. I would be upset too, after all it's his party and you are his girlfriend, which should make you more special than these other friends. Then again, maybe he just did get caught up and ... (read in full...)
Contraception advice, anyone?
Q. So me and my long term boyfriend have been using condoms as our only method of birth control and it's not an ideal situation. He constantly complains about how much less good it feels and frequently gets irritated that I won't go back on the pill or ...
A. 6 November 2011: Pull-out method?
I know of a couple of couples who actually don't use contraception, just pull out. They're in long term relationships, of age, living together, and if a baby came along it wouldn't be a problem. They aren't actively trying f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex-wife would like to re-establish more contact with my daughter. She is childless, what should we talk about to lessen any tension. He ex is not the father of my daughter
Q. Im the proud mum of a beautiful almost 2 year old girl who i love to death. Her godparents are my colleague (and now boyfriend) X and his now ex wife Y . As they couldn't have children of their own my daughter became like a daughter to them and...
A. 6 November 2011: She wont assume you had an affair. Relax. She's an adult, right, not some drama queen. She sounds like she genuinely cares about your daughter, and she is the child's God-parent still, isn't she?
Their marriage ended on good terms, and didn't i... (read in full...)
Should I get a nose job when I am older?
Q. Okay, so I know my questions are always kind of superficial. I am young! I don't have very many deep issues in my life right now. But I have this persistant thought at the back of my head all the time, and it is this: Should I get a nose job ...
A. 6 November 2011: You are right, you are young and you don't have any deep issues in your life. But as you get older, and develop more a sense of self, who you are, what you want, get real life difficulties to deal with etc, well, you wont worry about your nose ... (read in full...)
I have no clue what it's like to date, and I am still a virgin! Will I ever find love?
Q. So here is the results,once again in 2011 I still haven't had any luck with girls,still don't have a clue what its like to be dating,be in a relationship or being loved,and yes I'm still a virgin.. you know its really hard to be in love alone and ...
A. 6 November 2011: I understand you are frustrated and seeking love, but we do not have a crystal ball. We can't promise you it will ever happen.
But I can promise you that rarely does love drop from the sky and land on your head. You have to put yourself out ther... (read in full...)
Can you get sick from giving blowjobs?
Q. Hello, so im going to go sraight to the point, i gave my boyfriend a blow job, he asked first and i said no but he kept asking and i gave in i didnt do it for long at all he deffinitley didnt ejaculate because i told him i didnt want him too in my ...
A. 6 November 2011: I don't think this has anything to do with the blowjob. You just happen to be sick. Could be you are psyching yourself out though, because you are disgusted by what you did, and therefor lose your appetite.
You sure you want to keep that boyfrien... (read in full...)
Is my hiv risk high?
Q. A month ago I had unprotected sex with a guy who possibly has multiple partners. however, he said he's clean. 4 days later i had unprotected sex again with another guy. is my hiv risk high?...
A. 6 November 2011: Yes and no. If you catch it you catch it, if you don't you don't. Your risk of catching HIV depends on how many HIV infected persons there are in your area and how likely you are to run into one of them. There's not many people at all with HIV in my ... (read in full...)
Is my sister taking advantage of my late cousin's husband? Is it OK for them to date just one year after my cousin passing?
Q. My cousin died of cancer one year ago at the age of 46. She was married for 14 years to a wonderful man (whom I will call "Bill"). They decided not to have kids because she was diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of their marriage, but were ...
A. 6 November 2011: Bill is an adult. He must make his own decisions about who he lets into his life, you don't get to control that. I am with So_Very_Confused in this, moving on to love again is not disrespectful. It's been a year now. And Bill is probably lonely. I ... (read in full...)
Should I just become a womanizer so women will notice me more?
Q. I just don't understand why im single. When I was younger I was always over looked by girls as a potential date. Granted though I was skinny unkempt idiot back then but I was still a nice guy. Fast forward to today and alot has changed. 2 Years ago ...
A. 6 November 2011: Do you think women are attracted to womanizers?
First, sort out what sort of woman you are interested in. If you want one who can provide for herself, stand on her own two legs and has confidence, then you don't want to act like a womanizer. Beca... (read in full...)
Thinking of asking this guy if he'll be my first kiss? What do I say to him? How do I ask him?
Q. I'm in my late 20s n never kissed a guy. I've waited my whole life for this one perfect kiss and guy and have well outpassed my expected timeframe. I really wanted to get this first before my next birthday, and before the new year. I talk to this...
A. 6 November 2011: I wonder why you are only interested in the perfect kiss and man, and not interested in a relationship? Is it fear of rejection that has been holding you back for so long?
Do you think you have a better chance at just one kiss with him, than you... (read in full...)
how can I overcome my embarassment about having sex? I fear my lover's reaction on finding I am not well endowed.
Q. I am in a relationship, but my penis is very small. I fear to have sex because I fear to get embarrased before my lover. What should I do?...
A. 6 November 2011: Build up a more intimate relationship where everything is not based on your penis size. If your relationship is based on something else then it wont matter. ... (read in full...)
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