| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 12 January 2014: I am glad to hear this! Good for you and wish you all the best!... (read in full...)
How to play the player ?
Q. how do you play a player at his own game ..?but when u like the guy and trying not to show feelings ..when ur just pure (friends with benifits lol ). guys n women hu have or are players please to answer thanks...
A. 21 December 2011: Becoming a couple isn't exactly what I define as "playing" someone. If you play someone then all you want is to use them... ... (read in full...)
how can I overcome my embarassment about having sex? I fear my lover's reaction on finding I am not well endowed.
Q. I am in a relationship, but my penis is very small. I fear to have sex because I fear to get embarrased before my lover. What should I do?...
A. 6 November 2011: Build up a more intimate relationship where everything is not based on your penis size. If your relationship is based on something else then it wont matter. ... (read in full...)
How do I reveal that I told a lie at the start? I don't want to ruin our marriage plans for next year.
Q. Hey guys, I need some advice.. I'm a bit ashamed about this but when I first started seeing my boyfriend over a year and a half ago, I told him I went out with one of my brothers friends before him. I only said this as I felt ashamed that I hadn't ...
A. 6 November 2011: This doesn't sound like anything important at all. If you are so worried about it just tell your boyfriend the truth.
However I don't think it is relevant in any way, nor do I think he cares. Does he even know this friend? I mean, so you mentione... (read in full...)
If you received or read a text like this what would you think?
Q. If you had sent a general innocent comment to a male friend about some hedgerow cutting and he would have been genuinely interested to hear about it (and your female) and they replied 'bout time to' (I must admit I like a well trimmed bush) would ...
A. 6 November 2011: I don't think the man should have been snooping around on his wife's phone in the first place, but if he is insecure enough to do such a thing I also suspect he is insecure enough to read it as a sexual flirt. ... (read in full...)
FWB: do any of you think that we will ever be together properly? Or am I wasting my time?
Q. Hi everyone this is my situation I have been in a fwb sort of situation for about 8 months now. Naturally I want more than this. So to find out how he really felt about me I made him jealous he came around one morning and I told him I had a date comi...
A. 6 November 2011: Ok, what are these reasons?... (read in full...)
Poll: What do you believe is synonymous with losing your virginity?
Q. Ok, I want to know. I randomly thought of this today, and I wanted to hear everyones opinion on this, because I'm interested in what other people think. What, in your mind, is the loss of virginity? For girls: Is it breaking your hymen? I...
A. 6 November 2011: Virginity is the penis entering the vagina, no matter for how long or how deep in. Penis inside vagina= no longer virgin. However, other acts are sexual acts, and "purity" or "inexperience" is something in itself. But strictly, a virgin has never... (read in full...)
What do you think he feels for me: love or sympathy?
Q. Dear agony aunts. I am 32 yo female and I have been in love with this guy for about 8 yrs now. I am a charming, caring, and loving person and I have shown him my cares in many ways. I mean my and his friends have also seen it. They have also said he ...
A. 6 November 2011: I wonder why you have gone for 8 years without asking him out on a date? Make your move before another woman snatches him up.
It might be he's a very shy man...? I talked to a person once about this phenomena, where a man will be surround... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is becoming a mysognist (hate women).Any ideas why he has suddenly become like this? Can I change his mind?
Q. Ok, some advice please. My boyfriend has always been slightly sexist- men do this better, women shouldn't do that job, etc. It never caused a problem between us, and sometimes was rather sweet when he would act really chivalrous. However this s...
A. 6 November 2011: ... He sounds horrible. I don't know if his chivalry really makes up for it, because the second something bad happens it is YOUR fault, and if you ever need his support you wont get it because its YOUR fault. And God forbid you were gang raped. It's ... (read in full...)
Have I jeopardized my chances with a really amazing person, because of my one night with another girl?
Q. Last week wednesday I went on a night out with my friends from university. We ran into another group from our college at the club and got chatting to them and to cut to the chase, being very drunk I ended up getting then going home with one of the ...
A. 6 November 2011: Your actions probably wont matter too much, if you play your cards right. If you start to brag about how many women you can pull and act like a player, then yes, chances are lost. But, if brush it under the carpet as something you did that wasn't ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend could be jealous of my creative mind
Q. I am in a relationship with this girl for the last 5 years . We graduated from the same university but she was one year junior to me. She is pretty and loving girl . She is from middle class and I am from extremely rich family. She has a good job ...
A. 6 November 2011: Why do you think she is jealous? It sounds like maybe you are too used to being pampered and having people suck up to you because of the money in your family, high position etc. You have grown into believing that you are in fact better than others. ... (read in full...)
FWB: do any of you think that we will ever be together properly? Or am I wasting my time?
Q. Hi everyone this is my situation I have been in a fwb sort of situation for about 8 months now. Naturally I want more than this. So to find out how he really felt about me I made him jealous he came around one morning and I told him I had a date comi...
A. 6 November 2011: It is highly unlikely that you and him will end up together, at least in the nearest future. However you give excuses for him, and resort to mind games, rather than taking the bull by its horn and getting to the bottom of things. Why does he not ... (read in full...)
I love him, but parents think he's not compatible for me, can't support my future...
Q. Okay, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we are so in love with each other. I know how he loves me so much and trying to make me happy as he could. He is a mature minded man although we are in same age. He is patience and low profile...
A. 5 November 2011: It's his business, not yours. If you don't think you can help out with it then don't, he can hire help, and you can get your own independent job. This isn't the 1800 century you know where women marry men and their careers. You marry, and then get ... (read in full...)
Unofficial with one girl who wont have sex yet, and an offer on the table for sex with an old friend....should I go through with it?
Q. We've gone on a few dates and everything is sailing smoothly except one thing: She is just NOT ready to have sex. To me, it feels like she is chopping off my balls and making me her eunuch. I want to love her and show her a great passionate pleas...
A. 5 November 2011: Long term relationships are built on friendship. You should wait with sex until you are a bit into the official relationship, maybe a few weeks or even months. Communication, trust, honesty, respect, those are the things you build a long term ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my lesbian girlfriend to take it easy on me during sex without telling her I was a virgin before her?
Q. Girlfriend is on a quest to sexually open me up. She doesn't like to use lube although she can be real rough during sex. I really really love her and she says she loves me....we've been together two years n being intimate for a yr and a half. We ...
A. 4 November 2011: What, are you and her in a M/S relationship? Is she your mistress? No? Are you equal partners in this? If you are equals then there's no "I'll give you how much I want to give you" or bossing around or ego's to be hurt. You're 50% of this ... (read in full...)
Facebooks destroyed my life........found that he's not over his ex!
Q. I hate facebook. it has literally just destroyed me. I was talking to my bf online, when in the message window it said I could look at some of his old statuses. Me being me (rather nosey) decided to have a look. And there in front of me were loads ...
A. 4 November 2011: You are reading way too much into this. Your relationship is unbalanced, he's got more power over you because you have told him you love him, and feel insecure in your position because he hasn't told you he loves you. That's ALL there is to it. It'd ... (read in full...)
Unofficial with one girl who wont have sex yet, and an offer on the table for sex with an old friend....should I go through with it?
Q. We've gone on a few dates and everything is sailing smoothly except one thing: She is just NOT ready to have sex. To me, it feels like she is chopping off my balls and making me her eunuch. I want to love her and show her a great passionate pleas...
A. 4 November 2011: Only way to find out if she has a passion for sex is to enter a sexual relationship with her. To enter a sexual relationship you must first be in an official relationship, which means you need to talk to her about being exclusive and referring to ... (read in full...)
I like her a lot, but I don't want to wait forever, what do I do?
Q. Hi. I'm hoping I can get a little help with this situation I've found myself in. I met this girl a few months back. She started working at my office and we became pretty good friends, we would often tease and flirt a little with each other. I wa...
A. 4 November 2011: I'm not sure what to think. Her flirting with you while in a relationship is.. questionable. Sounds like she did just use you for an ego boost. She wanter the attention you gave her. It made her feel great. Then she sticks to her boyfriend, because ... (read in full...)
How should I ask this girl out over facebook?
Q. Over the past couple of days I’ve met a girl at university. We seem to be mutually interested in each other and I think I have a more than decent chance of successfully asking her out. Despite the fact she’s on my course, we are doing completely ...
A. 4 November 2011: if you see her on chat talk to her then and ask, if not then send her a nice private message, alternatively message a bit back and forth before you ask. do not use the wall for private messages.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to set a mood for my first time?
Q. I'm planning to lose my virginity to my boyfriend in the not-too-distant future, but while I'm excited about the prospect I know I'm going to be pretty nervous too! I'd like to create an atmosphere in the bedroom (nothing too extravagent - maybe ...
A. 4 November 2011: Yes, just set the mood you want, it's your first time after all and your boyfriend should be all about making things comfortable for you, his pleasure coming in second. It's YOUR first time after all, and for a woman it can be unpleasant the first ... (read in full...)
I feel so awkward with my boyfriends family! Help!
Q. so my boyfriend is korean and speaks english as his first language. i don't understand or speak korean at all and when im at his home i feel excluded sometimes because his dad for only speaks korean and nothing else. his mum does speak english an...
A. 3 November 2011: They feel comfortable speaking their own language. It's not that hard to understand, people enjoy best speaking in their national language. And especially when the father is around, because he can't understand English. Since you are at their home I ... (read in full...)
He said that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head that our marriage will be over!
Q. I have been with my husband for almost four years. When we had been dating for a month I told him that I hated giving head. We have been married for a little over a year now and he is telling me that if I don't find a way to enjoy giving him head ...
A. 3 November 2011: Buy a sleeve, a masturbation sleeve. Buy some lubricant. Sit down on your knees in front of him and use the sleeve on him, as a substitute for giving head. Have a mirror behind you so that when he looks into it, it'll look like you are giving him ... (read in full...)
Men are selfish!
Q. Ok, the title says it all and I am sick to death, borderline disgusted by the selfish nature of men. Let's not deny it. It is 100% true. I have no problem attracting men. But here's the thing, The second an attractive woman ignores the man who is c...
A. 3 November 2011: Aww, Cindy, but it's so much more comfortable to just blame the men for all things that go wrong. Hey, they blame us for always trying to change them and never giving the "nice ones" a chance, and stereotypically we only like "bad boys".
What ... (read in full...)
I can't let go of my unrequited love and it is killing me..
Q. I have been in love with a close female friend for four years. I have tried to date other women but there has never been a spark and they pale in comparison with my friend. I have tried minimising contact but it makes no odds. I want to move on ...
A. 3 November 2011: How do you know she doesn't feel the same way? Has she actually told you, or are you making a guess because you think you've indirectly shown her that you care and you interpreted her moves to be negative?
There's no way to be discrete about th... (read in full...)
Men are selfish!
Q. Ok, the title says it all and I am sick to death, borderline disgusted by the selfish nature of men. Let's not deny it. It is 100% true. I have no problem attracting men. But here's the thing, The second an attractive woman ignores the man who is c...
A. 3 November 2011: Hehe, I'm actually intrigued. I don't want to go as far and say ALL men are selfish. Some are. And some who aren't selfish are lacking in other areas as no one is perfect. Now that I've covered my ass: It appears to be a common thing for men, t... (read in full...)
Do I get a boob job and give up sensitivity?
Q. I can't decide whether or not to have a boob job! I have really small boobs and so does everyone else in my family and there's no hope of them growing anymore (I'm a 32A/AA). For ages now I've been thinking about getting a boob job but I still don't ...
A. 3 November 2011: Ok, that's good. Because there's nothing quite as confusing as being dumped because the other person doesn't think they are good enough for you, or because they think you don't really know what you want so they'll decide for you.
I got riled up... (read in full...)
Unofficial with one girl who wont have sex yet, and an offer on the table for sex with an old friend....should I go through with it?
Q. We've gone on a few dates and everything is sailing smoothly except one thing: She is just NOT ready to have sex. To me, it feels like she is chopping off my balls and making me her eunuch. I want to love her and show her a great passionate pleas...
A. 3 November 2011: You say "after so long why does she not trust me". You need to define what is "so long", because "a few dates" is hardly long. I think you'll find that what you determine as long, she determines as a very short amount of time.
Ask her about it... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a bruise on that part of your body without it leaving a mark?
Q. I have a question about a mysterious bruise incident. Fact: She told me had a bruise and it hurt like heck and she got it by bumping into the sharp corner of her dresser in the dark, on her chest. Fact: The next day she showed me where the brui...
A. 3 November 2011: ... Why are you wondering about this? Its a silly bruise, why is it important if it shows or not? Bruises can come and go, or hurt for a while, or have a mark without hurting... Yeah I don't see anything odd about her story at all, and why would it ... (read in full...)
He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 3 November 2011: Tell him exactly what you've told us. It's ruining your sex life. You don't like it, and it hurts. If he's so eager to have anal sex then you can buy a dildo to use on HIM. Then he can get a feel for what it's like.
If he breaks up with you beca... (read in full...)
Do I get a boob job and give up sensitivity?
Q. I can't decide whether or not to have a boob job! I have really small boobs and so does everyone else in my family and there's no hope of them growing anymore (I'm a 32A/AA). For ages now I've been thinking about getting a boob job but I still don't ...
A. 3 November 2011: Here's some tough love for you:
"It's a fact the huge majority of men do prefer bigger boobs". So what about the men who wants big boobs. They can go and find their big boobs. What are THEY to you anyway? YOU will attract men who are attracte... (read in full...)
Do guys eventually give up if the girl wont have sex with them?
Q. do players get turned off by girls who don't want to have sex with them straightaway? surely at some point they lose interest and give up on a girl who won't give them what they want?...
A. 3 November 2011: Yes. They get tired and move on. ... (read in full...)
Are high cheekbones attractive?
Q. Are high cheek bones on a woman attractive? Or not attractive? I've just noticed how high my cheekbones actually are! My grandma said all women in our family have high cheekbones i just never noticed... They arent like that noticable im not skinny ...
A. 3 November 2011: Well... each to their own. It's the total package with personality+looks that make you who you are. Men or boys aren't attracted solely to ONE part of who you are. You as a total is what matters. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to need to pee after sex?
Q. After I have sex or any other sexual things, I have an urge to pee. I was just wondering, is this normal or common for women to do?...
A. 3 November 2011: Common, and healthy! I always pee after sex as a routine to prevent a urinary tract infection. I recommend peeing after sex as it helps prevent an infection. So it's a good thing that you do!... (read in full...)
How to play the player ?
Q. how do you play a player at his own game ..?but when u like the guy and trying not to show feelings ..when ur just pure (friends with benifits lol ). guys n women hu have or are players please to answer thanks...
A. 3 November 2011: If you care about him then you can't play him. The only reason he can play you is because he does not care! So he will always have the upper hand, because YOU care.
If you want to play him you have to not care about him, have him fall in love wit... (read in full...)
I can not handle any more "groupies." Is it him? Or am I a psycho?
Q. I am in a relationship that makes me feel super insecure. I was never ever insecure like this in my life. I was never a jealous person either. Even when I was younger. I am not sure if it is me or my partner. Woman are going after him as crazy. When ...
A. 2 November 2011: His inability to validate you and show others that he is taken is making you insecure. He doesn't put up the line anywhere, he lets people treat him as if he's single, sending out vibes that he is single, accepting flirts, living the single life ... (read in full...)
What do you think she meant by "and modest"?
Q. I'll make this very short... I said. "I may not be a great doctor(I'm really not a doctor),but I'm a pretty super guy. Her response "and modest". Now I know the meaning of the word,but man I'm prolly reading way into this...but she knows I r...
A. 2 November 2011: Just taken out of context like this, it sounds like sarcasm to me. You were bragging about yourself which is the opposite of modest. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to allow me to see my friends?
Q. I'm coming to you all to see if I can get a few opinions on my marriage. Recently I have come to notice a few things happening. I had asked if I could go and see my friend that is about an hour drive from where I am. He said no, that it wasn't ...
A. 2 November 2011: It's not rude to ask to be a living human and not a doll. Or a pet. He doesn't own you. And he wont stop control over you for as long as you let him. If you don't want him to say you can't go here or there or see this or that person, then you need ... (read in full...)
Does not texting mean lack of caring?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for only 3 months, but it's a really meaningful relationship. I have an excellent judge of character and I now he isn't playing games with me. So I've voiced to him a couple times the importance to me of letting me ...
A. 2 November 2011: It's normal for any person in a relationship to not text every single day. If you tell him you want him to text you every morning and every evening then you are turning what should be a nice gesture into a chore. He'll do it not because he actually ... (read in full...)
When boyfriend's parents come visiting, things go missing!
Q. Me and my partner live together, we've been together for 4 years now; he's a great guy, kind, loving and caring. Our relationship does have the occasional squabble, but over trivial things, not things that cause break-ups in other relationships. ...
A. 2 November 2011: Kleptomania perhaps? Since the items that are stolen are so odd and have little or nothing in common.
Hide things away when they visit, or follow them around all the time? Install security cameras?
As long as nothing of value goes missing (so... (read in full...)
We argued, and now he wont reply to my texts and I can't get in contact with him!
Q. I had an argument 3 days ago with my boyfriend of 3 years. It was such a stupid little argument, so supid that i don't see the point in writing it here. After the argument, he walked away and went home. I texted him soooo many times telling hi...
A. 2 November 2011: Howcome you can text him on his cell, but not call him on his cell? This doesn't sound like cultural difference to me, what culture is he from since you can't call him?
Other than contact him you'll just have to wait and see what happens,... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me 5 times, and broke up with me, but I want him back because I love him!
Q. Hello Agony Aunts and Uncles. Well i'm having a very hard time moving on from this guy i really love, care about and wanna be with but he broke up with for a very stupid reason. This isn't the first nor the second nor the third time i've been in ...
A. 2 November 2011: It seems you think that because you took him back, against better judgement, he sort of owes you to stick by you through everything, because you stick by him through all of his crap.
But that's not how it works. He doesn't value you, and no matte... (read in full...)
I want to meet up with her, but we didn't meet on a dating site. Am I reading too much into her being nice?
Q. Hi all, I have been talking to a girl on a penpal site and she seems really nice and I was considering after a bit more talking to ask about meeting up. The problem is, she says that people seem to just message her saying things about her being'...
A. 2 November 2011: If she complains about what "other men" do, then take that as a hint that she doesn't want you to do the same. Just continue casually talking to her and getting to know her. Let her invite you out if she's interested in more.
But like SoVeryCo... (read in full...)
She has been abusive but threatens that she can't live without me if I leave. please help!
Q. 2 years 3 months ago i was single and i was just out of an open relationship when i made friend with one girl on facebook.we started to chat everyday and she kept on telling me how her boyfriend was treating her badly....i felt very sorry for ...
A. 2 November 2011: If someone threatens to kill themselves you don't end up in bed with them or try to "change their world". Take it seriously. Call the cops and say you have a suicidal ex girlfriend who threatens to kill herself and leave the responsibility to where ... (read in full...)
Unofficial with one girl who wont have sex yet, and an offer on the table for sex with an old friend....should I go through with it?
Q. We've gone on a few dates and everything is sailing smoothly except one thing: She is just NOT ready to have sex. To me, it feels like she is chopping off my balls and making me her eunuch. I want to love her and show her a great passionate pleas...
A. 2 November 2011:
You're not in a relationship with her, so she doesn't owe you sex, and even if you were in a relationship that wouldn't guarantee you sex. If you can't commit without a guaranteed amount of sex every so often then you aren't capable of comm... (read in full...)
Do I get a boob job and give up sensitivity?
Q. I can't decide whether or not to have a boob job! I have really small boobs and so does everyone else in my family and there's no hope of them growing anymore (I'm a 32A/AA). For ages now I've been thinking about getting a boob job but I still don't ...
A. 2 November 2011: I don't think the obvious answer is to have surgery. I think the obvious answer is to have therapy to work on your self esteem and find out the reasons why you withdraw from relationships and prevent yourself from entering one. Because thats the ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
