Friends with an former fantasist lover? Bad idea
Q. Dear Cupid, Around a year ago, I made a new friend. We spent a lot of time together but it was for me purely platonic, never sexual or romantic though I enjoyed our friendship. Over time I suspected he might harbor deeper feelings but always assum...
A. 11 June 2023: You want it all but being a mature adult means we have to recognise that sometimes we really cannot have it all. We then have to make a decision on what is most important and sacrifice something else. You want to stay friends with this man but you ... (read in full...)
Friends with an former fantasist lover? Bad idea
Q. Dear Cupid, Around a year ago, I made a new friend. We spent a lot of time together but it was for me purely platonic, never sexual or romantic though I enjoyed our friendship. Over time I suspected he might harbor deeper feelings but always assum...
A. 11 June 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Is he a psychopath?
Q. I met him 3 years ago and fell madly in love. He was my first everything. At first he was sweet, we would talk for hours everyday. After the first year, things changed completely. He reaches out to say something so affectionate (i'm a woman he can't ...
A. 10 June 2023: It doesn't stop him because he knows, despite your complaining, you will continue to tolerate it.
Do you ask him where he goes and what he does the times he drops off the radar? I'm guessing not (or he doesn't respond) as you don't mention ... (read in full...)
Is he a psychopath?
Q. I met him 3 years ago and fell madly in love. He was my first everything. At first he was sweet, we would talk for hours everyday. After the first year, things changed completely. He reaches out to say something so affectionate (i'm a woman he can't ...
A. 10 June 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Put in the middle of an awkward work situation & lost a friend! Title (e.g. My husband
Q. ? ?I’m pretty annoyed at something- which I honestly do not believe is my fault but I feel like I’ve lost a friend and my workplace has questioned my integrity in a job I’ve had for 12 years! I have a friend that I’ve known since we were in...
A. 4 June 2023: What a dreadful situation. I am really sorry you had to go through this. Just thank your lucky stars you didn't actually recommend her for the job, even though your manager might be making out you did. I'd keep an eye on him, if I were you. He's not ... (read in full...)
Advice regarding my parents punishment for my behavior
Q. I would like some advice from parents please ? i must admit my behavour over the past 2 weeks has been very poor last weekend i was grounded for general bad behavour, i ignored my parents and sneaked out of the house to go to a party, my friends and ...
A. 29 May 2023: Have you really got nothing better to do than making up silly posts, which are not even original but so obviously all from the same person? Perhaps your time would be better spent taking a creative writing course. ... (read in full...)
I messed up at work and I need to undo the damages
Q. So I sent a text to a coworker friend who is also kind of my indirect supervisor calling her out and saying some not so nice things out of anger that I work with and actually value and enjoy their friendship. It is almost vital we get along at work ...
A. 29 May 2023: You were the one to mess up, so you should be the one to reach out. I think offering to treat your co-worker to lunch would be a nice gesture. Admit you were an idiot, sending the text, and ask HER how you can both move forward from this.
Lesso... (read in full...)
I messed up at work and I need to undo the damages
Q. So I sent a text to a coworker friend who is also kind of my indirect supervisor calling her out and saying some not so nice things out of anger that I work with and actually value and enjoy their friendship. It is almost vital we get along at work ...
A. 29 May 2023: Test
... (read in full...)
Boyfriends past behavior has made me feel like I've checked out of the relationship
Q. I'm unsure if I should leave my boyfriend of 6 years. We're very different people but it works. We have very similar values and I think that's why we've been together for so long. He's a lot more of a going out to clubs type than me, whereas m...
A. 28 May 2023: For me, your whole post can be summed up by this: "I haven't felt the same about our relationship since. Part of me feels like I've just completely fallen out of love with him. I just feel distant, I want my own space so much more. I feel partly ... (read in full...)
Why does he want to see me less?
Q. My boyfriend I've been seeing for two years says he only wants to meet up every two weeks instead of every week and that doesn't work for me he also seems to want sex every time we meet up several times a night and day. He doesn't seem keen on ...
A. 29 April 2023: He might SAY he loves you but his actions don't back up his words. Seeing you less frequently rather than more would seem to indicate either (a) he is tiring of you but hasn't got the decency to end the relationship, so is distancing himself slowly, ... (read in full...)
Cousin sex
Q. I am a 36 year old female and my cousin is 38 male. I have wanted to fool around with him sexually since we were kids and it just never happened bc we didn’t spend enough time together. He’s staying at my house without his wife for a death in the ...
A. 29 April 2023: P.S. Nice touch, adding the "death in the family" - just in case the post wasn't sleazy enough. ... (read in full...)
Cousin sex
Q. I am a 36 year old female and my cousin is 38 male. I have wanted to fool around with him sexually since we were kids and it just never happened bc we didn’t spend enough time together. He’s staying at my house without his wife for a death in the ...
A. 29 April 2023: Ha ha, there's always one troll hanging around. Knowing how most of the aunts and uncles on this site condemn cheating, why not step it up one and involve a cousin? Nice one. PMSL.
If, by some remote chance, this is for real, then you are stil... (read in full...)
Partner cheated and I think he's back to cheating with the same girl
Q. Myself and my partner of 10 years decided last week that we would separate. He slept with a colleague in December 2022 and we tried to move past it, work on the relationship etc but after 4 months he said he couldn’t try any more than what he was ...
A. 22 April 2023: You KNOW in your heart he is cheating on you. Showing you his colleague's number is blocked means nothing. She could have another phone. He could have another phone (you mention a work phone). He could have her number stored under a different name. ... (read in full...)
Advice regarding my parents punishment for my behavior
Q. I would like some advice from parents please ? i must admit my behavour over the past 2 weeks has been very poor last weekend i was grounded for general bad behavour, i ignored my parents and sneaked out of the house to go to a party, my friends and ...
A. 16 April 2023: You really need advice? You are at least 13 (according to your profile) so you are not clueless. You are a danger to yourself and a worry to your parents. You behaved disgracefully and worried them needlessly and now you need to take your punishment ... (read in full...)
My ex calls me a man hater but he's the one who treated me badly
Q. My marriage ended 4 years ago after my ex husband said he wanted to move on with his life. He left me, 2 children and a dog. He called our marriage of 18 years “horrendous”, said he wished he’d never married me, etc and ripped me off in the ...
A. 15 April 2023: Have you ever heard the saying "the best form of defense is attack"? That is exactly what your ex is doing. He KNOWS he was in the wrong. He KNOWS he was the one who screwed up. However, he is too immature and self-centered to shoulder the blame so ... (read in full...)
Should my partner not go to the wedding if I am not invited?
Q. I have been with my live in partner for over 20 yrs. His adult son (32 y/o) still won't accept me and refuses to see his dad if I'm around. The parents were divorces several years prior to our dating. The son has no relationship with his mother. ...
A. 15 April 2023: I feel for you, I really do, but you have to let this one go now. For 20 years you have strived to be accepted by a child - who continues to be a child, despite his adult years - and for 20 years he has stamped his feet, spat out his dummy and ... (read in full...)
Is this friendship ending my fault?
Q. Have I been immature or was I acting unreasonably? I had a best friend of 6 years and we haven't spoken in 7 months after an unexpected fallout. We were very close before and she was like a sister to me; we really trusted/loved each other....
A. 8 April 2023: Not sure if this is anyone's "fault" - or whether attributing fault is going to help in any way - but it may help you to google "Friend for a reason, friend for a season, friend for life". This explains very well (in my opinion) the different types ... (read in full...)
Is this friendship ending my fault?
Q. Have I been immature or was I acting unreasonably? I had a best friend of 6 years and we haven't spoken in 7 months after an unexpected fallout. We were very close before and she was like a sister to me; we really trusted/loved each other....
A. 8 April 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Is she that busy or just blowing me off?
Q. I’m new to the area and looking for friends and to spend my time productively. I met a coworker who is also female and we agreed to meet to exercise. However while no set plans and a good reason it seems she always has an excuse. Last time she said ...
A. 6 April 2023: If someone really wants to make time for you, they will find a way. If not, they will find excuses.
... (read in full...)
My wife is committing benefit fraud. I don't want to report her but I want her to leave me alone
Q. I hope I don't look like I'm bitter with this question but I'd like to know your opinions with this. I have 2 daughters aged 17 and 19 and I've been paying child maintenance. Admittedly it was only £150 when they were both little but I've always ...
A. 2 April 2023: I'm sorry if I am missing something, but I really don't see what the issue is here - unless you are looking for people to say you SHOULD report your wife? I'm not sure what you mean when you say you "just want to be left alone".
While apprecia... (read in full...)
My wife is committing benefit fraud. I don't want to report her but I want her to leave me alone
Q. I hope I don't look like I'm bitter with this question but I'd like to know your opinions with this. I have 2 daughters aged 17 and 19 and I've been paying child maintenance. Admittedly it was only £150 when they were both little but I've always ...
A. 2 April 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Are we going to reconcile or divorce - your impression please?
Q. Hi, So me and my wife met in 2018 and moved in with each other. We got married in 2020 and have a daughter born in 2021. My wife and I were madly in love and would do a lot together and spend 90% of the day together. Same job, same routine, same ...
A. 25 March 2023: I'm intrigued. This is the second time in recent times that you have split up, violence and police have been involved, and the only thing you are bothered about is whether she will have you back?
Let me ask you this: would you watch a film and... (read in full...)
Is my partner trying to get me to leave him?
Q. My partner puts me down in public, calls me names and talks about his ex and how other women with different hair colour to me look better. When I'm out with him he is constantly looking at other women on purpose. It's starting to wear me down I'm ...
A. 20 March 2023: Why are you only THINKING about leaving him? Why are you not busy making your exit plan and walking the hell away from this imbecile?
My guess is he is trying to wear you down to a point where you have no self confidence and where you think yo... (read in full...)
What is this married man doing??
Q. So, there is someone I know who I am NOT allowed to date. Think something like teacher and professor, or employee and superior. However, I don’t see him very frequently. I have a huge crush on him, which I know is awful on its own. Why do I fe...
A. 18 March 2023: To answer your second post, I think he knows EXACTLY what he is doing. He is yanking your chain, good and proper. He may even be having a bit of a laugh behind your back about how gullible and naive you are being. People are not always what they ... (read in full...)
What is this married man doing??
Q. So, there is someone I know who I am NOT allowed to date. Think something like teacher and professor, or employee and superior. However, I don’t see him very frequently. I have a huge crush on him, which I know is awful on its own. Why do I fe...
A. 15 March 2023: The question you SHOULD be asking is "why am I so lonely/insecure/[insert whatever description fits] that I am bowled over by a married man who I KNOW is out of bounds?"
Given his comment about not operating on social media, I would lay money th... (read in full...)
Friend wants her rude& spoilt daughter to attend my birthday weekend.
Q. ?If anyone can offer any advice I’d appreciate it. My friend has a 13 year old daughter who is very spoilt and has a very bad attitude towards everyone and everything. Before everyone starts ranting sticking up for her- I’ve know h...
A. 15 March 2023: I suspect I know where the 13 year old gets her attitude, lol.
In your shoes I would tell your friend that YOU don't want the daughter at your week-end because everyone will have to watch what they do and say in front of a child. I am sure the... (read in full...)
Girlfriend texted my friend for 5 hours. It was innocent but why 5 hours?
Q. Hello. I have been dating this girl for 3 months. We are in our late 30s. Initially it was her who fell in love with me and now I love her too. We meet like once a week and text from time to time. I introduced her to my best friend and we all hang...
A. 11 March 2023: How do you fix this? By stopping playing games and acting like the adult you actually are. I mean, a guy in his late 30s putting out a "don't care" image? Really? You sound like a clueless teenager.
Grow up and put some energy into this relation... (read in full...)
My ex makes little effort with our son
Q. Hi I just need a bit of advice on what to do regarding my sons dad we split up a year ago due to him cheating on me with my best friend he has our son twice a week for 2 hours a day and also pays no maintenance the problem is he won’t do anything ...
A. 8 March 2023: I don't know how old your son is because you don't appear to mention it but, regardless, I can only imagine how damaging it must be for him to only see his father so occasionally and then to only hear from his father how "naughty" he is. Personally ... (read in full...)
Wife gets spacey when I talk to her
Q. sometimes when i try to talk to my wife she pauses and looks out in space and say words that lead nowhere, can someone tell me if shes ok?...
A. 8 March 2023: Why would you ask a question like this of a bunch of strangers on the internet? Surely her doctor would be the right person to speak to about this, or even her family. Is she aware of what she does? Have you asked her why she does it? Perhaps it is ... (read in full...)
Wife gets spacey when I talk to her
Q. sometimes when i try to talk to my wife she pauses and looks out in space and say words that lead nowhere, can someone tell me if shes ok?...
A. 8 March 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with me for not wanting to celebrate my birthday?
Q. My family knows that I hate celebrating my birthday and I expect them to not to make any plans for my birthday. All of my friends know I hate celebrating my birthday and know that I only expect a text message from them that says "Happy birthday". ...
A. 8 March 2023: No, of course you were not in the wrong. Firstly, it is YOUR birthday and up to you whether you wish to mark it in any way or not. Secondly, you don't need to get permission from your family if you want to go away for a few days, regardless of ... (read in full...)
Wife spent wedding money without asking me
Q. My wife and I recently got married and for our wedding present, our friends and family banded together to pay for our visa and relocation expenses (we are long distance). Shortly afterwards my wife was poorly and ended up being too ill to go to...
A. 5 March 2023: I'm sorry, op, but this all sounds like a scam to me. `You are allowing her to walk all over you because "she comes before all else and I just want to know she's safe". It is commendable you think of your wife so highly, but how highly does SHE ... (read in full...)
Odd experience at a house viewing.
Q. I’m on here to see if anyone else has had odd experiences whilst viewing houses to buy? My fiancé and I are looking to buy our first property, so obviously we didn’t really know what to expect when viewing homes. None of our friends are home...
A. 4 March 2023: If it's true that "in the past 5 years the house had been on and off the market and actually sold 3 times but each time the buyer pulled out", the estate agent MUST have some idea as to the reason(s) why. Also, if this is true, perhaps the vendors ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a bisexual man
Q. Hi Aunties, I have fallen hard for a guy, real hard. He is younger than me by 10years. He says he is straight, l am gay. We have kissed and cuddled and he sends me love messages and calls me his queen. He is real sweet with me. We stay in diff...
A. 3 March 2023: Do you even know for certain his girlfriend is there? Is it not possible he is pretending she is so he has an excuse not to see you while stringing you along until he decides whether he actually wants to experiment any further with you?
If so... (read in full...)
Former FWB still has feelings for me not reciprocated
Q. I’m not quite sure how to sort of approach this situation. It’s quite complicated but to go back to the start. 12 years ago I met my now husband - he was in a relationship so nothing happened between us at that time. I did however have a 4 year ...
A. 1 March 2023: I'm pretty sure I understand what is really going on here.
Your former FWB is yearning for "the good old days" when he was younger and carefree, enjoying no-strings sex with you. Now he has two children, who are probably draining his wife's e... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend I'm gay?
Q. How do I tell my girlfriend that she was right to be worried and that I am actually gay? Long story short my girlfriend always had this 'feeling I was gay' because I've had sex with men and I've always denied it, I don't know maybe I was hidi...
A. 25 February 2023: As someone who was in your girlfriend's position once, many years ago when I was young and very naive, I can tell you the fact my "boyfriend" lied to me, so he could pretend to others he was straight, hurt me much more than his sexuality. You have ... (read in full...)
How to repair a fractured friendship?
Q. Recently, I got into a big fight with one of my close friends. Needless to say, shamefully, I was the one at fault and became very over-emotional and angry with them at the time for reasons I could not comprehend while I was in an emotional state. ...
A. 21 February 2023: By your own admission, this is not a one-off and is something to which you have subjected your friend before. Instead of concentrating on trying to repair this one friendship because this is what YOU want at present, why not seek professional help ... (read in full...)
What if he tells others we had sex?
Q. I want my friend to fuck me, he usually comes to me and ask for us to fuck but I'm scared he might tell other's that we did it. I just don't want others to know. I'm a virgin but when he come around I try to hold myself but deeply I just want him ...
A. 18 February 2023: You are a teenager and your hormones are crazily out of control BUT - and this is a huge BUT - this guy is actually abusing you. Why does he have access to you while you are sleeping? Touching someone without their express consent is classed as ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend feels pain more than pleasure
Q. My girlfriend feels pain much more than pleasure while we're having sex which just makes it feel as if I'm doing something wrong. So to give you context, we started having sex last year in November. For all the while till last month or so, it was e...
A. 18 February 2023: Given your age, I would assume you are being over-zealous and rough when having sex (as many teenagers are). Women do not enjoy "porn" sex. Most like to be treated gently and every one will have different things she likes and doesn't like. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
An affair thats remembered
Q. why cant i forget an affair my husband had 20 years ago we are happy now but its alwas in the back of my mind...
A. 18 February 2023: I saw this somewhere once which I thought explained it perfectly.
Take a pristine new sheet of paper. Take a look at it. Perfect, yes? Now take it and screw it up as tightly as you can. Now put it down and smooth it out again. Is it the same as ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. Has anyone else resisted a mutual attraction to an in law for years only to end up having a weak moment and doing the forbidden? I have been married for over 15 years and have two kids that are young adults. My marriage has been good a majority of ...
A. 18 February 2023: If this post is genuine and not just an attempt to get a cheap thrill from others' stories, wow. Just wow. Your poor wife. Betrayed by not only her husband but also her own mother, because neither of them can keep it in their pants.
I hope you... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: Sorry, still having to test whether the post will appear as we keep having problems posting and there is no point in preparing a reply and then losing it.
You are seeing this as a reflection on YOU but I wonder, is it at all possible that the... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: Test... (read in full...)
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