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*oucannotbeserious

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How do I come out to my female partner

Q.   How do I come out to my female partner? Hey people, any help will be appreciated, I'm looking for advice on how I can get out of a situation I've stupidly got myself in. So, I'm gay but have a girlfriend and I really don't want to hurt hurt, but the ...

A.   29 October 2022: How do you tell her? Well, certainly not in the detail you shared with us. She doesn't need to know it - and neither did we, but heh, there it is. It obviously gave you a kick and, while aunts and uncles on this site will have rolled their eyes and ... (read in full...)

Need advice on how to proceed in my relationshi

Q.   My partner and I have been together 7 years. We have been engaged since 6 months in. I cannot bring myself to take the next step and get married because I’m so terrified of marriage being surrounded by family members in unhappy marriages. Plus ...

A.   28 October 2022: What answers are you hoping for? Did you not like the ones you got last time? If you disagreed, then it appears to want to stay with him, despite all the issues. Nobody can force you to leave. Nobody can force you to stay. It is down to you. You... (read in full...)

Should I marry him? Wait or leave?

Q.   My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years and I’m still afraid to get married. He purposed at 6 months and I said yes because at the time things were going good but as time progressed it seems to have gotten worse. We are so different. He’s ...

A.   20 October 2022: What would you wait for? What do you think will change for the better after 7 years? Ask yourself this: is this how I want to spend the NEXT seven years and more of my life? I think you already know the answer but are just afraid to cut lo... (read in full...)

Uninvited from friend’s wedding

Q.   I've known my friend "Lisa" since high school and we are both 30 now. We weren't each other's best friends but were still close. We started hanging out more often in 2019. That was the year my ex-fiance and I broke up. She invited me to several ...

A.   20 October 2022: I firmly believe everyone crosses our path as part of the universe's plan for us. It sounds like Lisa was one of your "friends for a reason". She was there for you when you needed support following the break-up of your engagement. You no longer need ... (read in full...)

Uninvited from friend’s wedding

Q.   I've known my friend "Lisa" since high school and we are both 30 now. We weren't each other's best friends but were still close. We started hanging out more often in 2019. That was the year my ex-fiance and I broke up. She invited me to several ...

A.   20 October 2022: Test - because this site sometimes rejects replies :-)... (read in full...)

Tired of being hurt give my love to animals instead

Q.   I'm an introvert. I live with my partner who likes his space as well. As a true introvert, I'm happy and completely content in my own company. I'm self employed and happy plodding on with what I need to achieve each day. I walk my dog and always p...

A.   16 October 2022: I'm so sorry you have been treated this way by people you thought were your friends. You sound like a sensitive caring soul, so their taking you for granted and using you in this way hurts badly. I don't for a second believe you don't care. You care ... (read in full...)

He is asking me for ideas on how to propose?

Q.   I have a new partner (all started long distance) who I have been with on and off for 8 months - started in Feb - broke up on Mar 24 then he went home - came back in June - lived with me till mid Sept - then went home to get space and is back to me ...

A.   12 October 2022: Strange that someone of your age and experience still sees the proposal and the wedding as the "happy ever after" instead of what they really are - the start of your future life together. Your boyfriend isn't over his ex yet. He dips in and out ... (read in full...)

I use enemas to help please myself.does anyone else?

Q.   I have used an enema to enhance masturbation since I was a boy. They have been as good as or better than sex with my wife because when I masturbate I just have to please myself. With a wife I wanted to please her too. Am I the only one that does ...

A.   12 October 2022: Firstly, I think you are on the wrong site with this question. I feel sure there will be more "specialized" sites out there where people can understand your fetish and may even be able to offer advice. Secondly, what difference does it make if ... (read in full...)

I use enemas to help please myself.does anyone else?

Q.   I have used an enema to enhance masturbation since I was a boy. They have been as good as or better than sex with my wife because when I masturbate I just have to please myself. With a wife I wanted to please her too. Am I the only one that does ...

A.   12 October 2022: Testing... (read in full...)

In a long distance relationship and I just found out that my gf is pregnant by another man!

Q.   Hello I'm in a long distance relationship (like across the country) and today I learned from a friend of my girlfriend that she is pregnant by another man. I confronted my girlfriend and she admitted that she screwed up a few months ago and w...

A.   9 October 2022: So many posts where I have so many questions of my own. What were your long term plans? Was there a date set when one of you would move so you could be together or was this just an indefinite arrangement? Can you ever trust this girl again, e... (read in full...)

Can anyone please help me figure out what's going on with this guy?

Q.   I'm 33 and single. I've known guy for the last 10 years from way back when we were studying. Although we were never friends, we knew people who were common to us. He was always very polite and civil and might I add, a good 10 years older. He added ...

A.   9 October 2022: As with many posts, I have some questions for YOU: Why did you contact him again when he had been creepy in the past? What was your purpose in reconnecting with him? I am going to put 2 + 2 together and arrive at the conclusion that, bei... (read in full...)

An old friend who has a crush on me has resurfaced

Q.   Hi, I recently turned 40 years old. I dated a guy (not a relationship) way back when I was a teen. We ultimately did not work, but while we were seeing each other we were kind of close. We would fall asleep on the phone together etc. ty...

A.   4 October 2022: Does your partner know about this? If not, perhaps it is time to tell him. Then I would suggest the pair of you arrange to meet this bloke, face to face, and tell him to back off. If he still keeps stalking you, then a solicitors' letter might help ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is disgusted by my arousal

Q.   My girlfriend of one year who is fifteen year old feel disgusted when i have a boner. I get boner when i am around her and when she touch me even though she said she is not ready for sex. Is it wrong to have boner as she always tell me and that i am ...

A.   2 October 2022: Why are you, an adult, dating a child? OF COURSE she is disgusted and doesn't understand. She is A CHILD. Leave her alone and find someone of a more appropriate age to date.... (read in full...)

My online African boyfriend keeps asking me for money

Q.   Hello I met a man online. We talked for several months then he began asking me for money. He's from Africa, he said he's poor. I felt bad and sent him 20.00 for some food. Now there is always some issue. He needs for food, for transportation, ...

A.   2 October 2022: Open your eyes. This man has much more money that you do. He is not "poor". He is scamming you. He will have many gullible females like you sending him money. I cannot believe people are still falling for this BS despite all the warnings out ther... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is unmotivated

Q.   I am 32, I have been with my boyfriend for coming up to 3 years, he is 36. I have my own house/mortgage, he lives with his parents but had previously been living in NZ (Came back coz his mum is ill). Although we'd not been dating long he moved in...

A.   2 October 2022: I'm intrigued that you casually mention, at the very end of a lengthy and detailed post, almost as an afterthought, "I do feel we got a lot of good stuff going going for us", yet don't mention ANYTHING good about your relationship in your post while ... (read in full...)

Big question how to get over someone

Q.   How do you get over someone? So I’m not even allowed to be sad as we were never official but for past 4yrs I’ve been sleeping with this guy (yes judge me) I was lonely and it became a regular thing dinner and drinks staying over one or two times...

A.   24 September 2022: Of course you are "allowed" to be sad. We are ALL allowed to be sad, regardless of the reason. What is NOT allowed is to STAY sad. Sad is a temporary break, while you gather your strength and are once again ready to face the world. Unreq... (read in full...)

How do I make my boyfriend calm down?

Q.   This is about my boyfriend Cameron who is a good person but keeps annoying me. He said he understands I do not want to have sex and he said he will be a virgin with me and not put any pressure on me to have sex. He says the right things but his ...

A.   24 September 2022: Oh dear. Seriously OP? In this day and age of instant access to all information, you choose to be this ignorant? Poor Cameron. Assuming Cameron is of a similar age to you, he is displaying EXTREME self control, way beyond what would normally... (read in full...)

Why texting every once in awhile

Q.   My ex-fwb got distant after I confessed that I had strong feelings for him. He said he didn’t and does not want anything serious. I said that’s fine. I accepted it and didn’t push him to start anything with me. I started moving on with my life and ...

A.   23 September 2022: He's doing this to you because, while he doesn't actually want you, he doesn't want you to replace him with someone else. Popping up occasionally keeps him on your radar and prevents you from moving on. He's keeping you on the back burner as a plan ... (read in full...)

The sex used to be incredible but now I have lost interest. Can I ever get it back?

Q.   I had an affair with a married man. He left his wife and now we are married. We have been married for 2 years. The problem is that I feel I need to keep being a mistress to this man. It feels like if I get too real or drop the ball sexually, h...

A.   21 September 2022: Oh dear. Do you hear that sound? That's the sound of your chickens coming home to roost. One of the main differences between most men and women is that men need sex to feel loved whereas women need to feel loved to want sex. You no longer f... (read in full...)

Boyfriend cant stay hard

Q.   Hi, new here so thanks in advance. Been with BF 15mths and he reckons to love me.kind , generous but proper sex does not happen and why am I asking cos really I'm sure the problem is Stella Artois!! However he hardly snogs me now and and I rarely ...

A.   19 September 2022: Oh dear, where to start? - His inability to get an erection is not about YOU or how attractive you may/may not be. Stop making it about you. That is not helpful. - His inability to get an erection does not automatically mean he is gay. Of cour... (read in full...)

Why did my girlfriend buy sexy clothes

Q.   Im dating my ex who I broke up from for one year break. Things are going great. One concern is that she has ordered sexy clothes, with mask, gloves. As if it’s a fancy dress full costume for party. I only know this because I got a notification from ...

A.   17 September 2022: Wow! Just wow! Firstly, if you really have access to her online shopping account because you "ordered a electric drill on her account few weeks ago", then you should remove yourself or remind her you still have access and check she is aware of... (read in full...)

My partner is going to join his ex on holiday

Q.   My partner of almost two years has as three and half year old son with his ex wife. They split up when he was one and are divorced. I’ve never met her and I have to go out when she drops off her son. I have a really good relationship with him. My ...

A.   17 September 2022: The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different outcome. You keep posting about this. What are you expecting? Someone to magically "fix" it for you? That isn't going to happen. Read over the answers ... (read in full...)

Fell in love with fwb partner

Q.   Hi so I know I did a stupid thing. I fell head over heels in love with my FWB and he kept giving me all kinds of signals that he likes me too. It was quite obvious to everyone that he was interested in me more than a friend. Before we became FWBs, ...

A.   11 September 2022:  Oh sweetheart, when someone says they don't want a serious relationship, what they are actually saying is they don't want a serious relationship WITH YOU. I know this is not easy to accept when you are besotted with them, but there is no way you ... (read in full...)

How do I repair insult to my friend?

Q.   I messed up with a friend of mine who is gay and we got in a fight over something stupid and I called him a faggot and not in a joking way but an angry way. He got real quiet and said “there it is” and just left. I don’t blame him. Based on his ...

A.   11 September 2022: People will forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. You have hurt your friend deeply and he will never forget how that felt, especially as it came from someone who he viewed as a close friend. ... (read in full...)

How do I repair insult to my friend?

Q.   I messed up with a friend of mine who is gay and we got in a fight over something stupid and I called him a faggot and not in a joking way but an angry way. He got real quiet and said “there it is” and just left. I don’t blame him. Based on his ...

A.   11 September 2022: Testing... (read in full...)

He’s invited me to go travelling with him but what if it doesn't work out?

Q.   Hi guys, hoping for some advice. I’ve been friends with a guy for a few years and do really like him deep down but I’m really shy so never had the guts to properly make a move so we've always just been good friends. I’m 99% sure he likes me too. One ...

A.   31 August 2022: Oh sweetheart, you can't go through life afraid to do things just because something may go wrong. There is ALWAYS a chance something can go wrong, with ANYTHING. You have known this guy for years so you have had chance to assess his characte... (read in full...)

How can you get from the point of almost not wanting your guy touching you straight to the point of wanting sex like crazy?

Q.   Hi all! I am in a situation and hopefully you can help me by giving me another perspective cause I am a bit at a loss. Here it goes: I've been with my gf for two years, I love her to bits and have never felt so good with anyone. Up until a while ag...

A.   28 August 2022: This could have been me you were describing. I waited until I was 20 before having sex for the first time. I wanted my first time to be with someone special and was also absolutely terrified of getting pregnant (never wanted kids, never had them). ... (read in full...)

Husband cheats again

Q.   Ok so i really need help and advice i dont know what to do i have been married for over 15yrs and i have 4 kids but the thing is i just found out last week that my husband just cheated on me for the third time in 8 yrs and i dont know what to do he ...

A.   24 August 2022: Let me suggest why he has done it: because he CAN, because he has got away with it before and because he is not afraid of losing you because he knows you will stay with him, no matter how many times he cheats on you. You DO have an option to walk ... (read in full...)

Does it mean he doesn't like me?

Q.   I am going out on a date with a guy for a month now, but on the dating app to other girl he was saying he is great in bed, he has a huge dick, he is very good in bed, experienced and was flirting with her left and right, and said that he wants to ...

A.   21 August 2022: He's a player. He is telling each girl what he thinks it will take to get her into bed. He's also probably a decent "people reader" so can tell what lines will work with which girls. Walk away. You deserve better. He's just after a roll in the s... (read in full...)

Wife says I am loud and she doesn't like my tone of voice

Q.   Hi Aunts! My wife and I frequently get into arguments which begin with her telling me that she doesn't like the tone or volume of my voice. Sometimes she tells me to stop barking at her. Usually when this happens I am not raising my voice at ...

A.   21 August 2022: As someone who works (and sits directly opposite) someone who has a very loud voice, I can totally understand where your wife is coming from. I lose count of the number of times in a working day I have to ask my colleague to "shush", especially when ... (read in full...)

Now I think I'm wasting my time

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly five month. I met him through work. He came across really nice and I didn’t see any thing that put me off him, in fact I thought I’d landed on my feet. As time has gone, I’m seeing the real him. He’s ...

A.   21 August 2022: One of the best bits of advice I was given years ago was "don't waste time dating someone you don't envisage marrying/staying with". It is pointless staying with him when you already KNOW he is not the one for you. End the relationship gently b... (read in full...)

My 6 years younger boyfriend acts like a brat

Q.   Hi my boyfriend is very entitled and acts like a brat! I'm 6 years older, and all he cares about is getting high and hanging with friends. We have been together 2 years and it's been mostly bad. He works part time. I work full time and have a ...

A.   21 August 2022: Sorry, have had issues with posting recently, hence the "testing" post. Didn't want to go to the effort of typing a reply if the site was going to stop me posting. You've wasted 2 years on this waster. Draw a line TODAY and don't waste another ... (read in full...)

My 6 years younger boyfriend acts like a brat

Q.   Hi my boyfriend is very entitled and acts like a brat! I'm 6 years older, and all he cares about is getting high and hanging with friends. We have been together 2 years and it's been mostly bad. He works part time. I work full time and have a ...

A.   21 August 2022: Testing ... (read in full...)

What's his deal anyway?

Q.   Three times I went out with a guy who I met through dating app, on the first date he said he deleted his account on dating app, but he has not and he has been seeing other girls. But he constantly keeps asking my whereabouts and what I've been doing ...

A.   7 August 2022: Not sure what you are asking. You went out 3 times with someone who you should really have only gone out with once, definitely not more than twice. The dates left you cold. Tell the guy it's been nice meeting him but you don't see a future for the ... (read in full...)

Partner does not listen or help during medical emergencies

Q.   I am 65 and my guy is 68. In many ways he is very sensible, calm, wise, reliable and everything I could wish for. But I have an illness and sometimes it is necessary to ring for an ambulance urgently because I struggle to breath at those times. He ...

A.   6 August 2022: Blindly believing anyone in the medical profession is infallible and cannot make a mistake could seriously backfire on your partner at some point. I know this from personal experience. If I had blindly followed instructions years ago regardin... (read in full...)

Should I just accept that the friendship may be over?

Q.   Around 6 weeks ago , i had a slight falling out with two friends . i went out with these two friends to a nightclub in a different part of my town , quite a drive away . we had a taxi booked , my friend then asked me if i could book a later...

A.   5 August 2022: You and these friends are at very different stages of your lives. You may go out together but they will soon be moving on with their new lives at Uni while you stay behind. Find friends who are at similar stages in their lives to you. Also ... (read in full...)

I wrong for taking this promotion instead of putting my niece and nephew first?

Q.   During the past few years, I have helped my brother and sister-in-law with their kids (my nieces and nephew). My work schedule allowed it. I would often drop them off at school, pick them up from school, take them to practice (baseball practice and ...

A.   5 August 2022: Isn't it amazing that, instead of thanking you for all you have done, they are just upset that you are putting yourself first for a change and won't be raising their kids for them any longer? That tells you all you need to know about them. You a... (read in full...)

Is it wrong that I ask him to prove he's broke

Q.   I married someone from another country 3 years ago. Unfortunately, they won't even allow him to come to my country on a visiting visa. So, I go visit him in his country. I have offered to move to his country, but he feels I'm not safe there p...

A.   5 August 2022: Of course your "husband" doesn't want you to move to his country, because then you won't be able to send him regular money. Also, you may cramp his style if you are not his only source of income. He probably has friends who are also scamming women ... (read in full...)

Is this a taking of advantage possible situation

Q.   While there is a real-life situation behind this question obviously, I would like to ask this more as a theoretical question. Openly gay single dude asks genuinely straight single dude if he would like to experiment sexually and offers no strings ...

A.   4 August 2022: Of all the ridiculous ideas I have recently heard, this has to be near the top of the list. Proceed at your own peril. This will not end well. ... (read in full...)

Do I quit flirting with the guy at work?

Q.   So there’s this guy that I work with and I have an incurable crush on him! the problem is that I don’t know if I should keep sending flirting signs or just give it a rest. I don’t know if he’s just oblivious and clueless or if he is simply just not ...

A.   31 July 2022: "Is it the age gap thats taboo, the coworker aspect (it’s just retail but he’s been there a long time) or is he just an idiot for not seeing that I’m clearly into him??" OR is he married or in a relationship? OR is he simply flattered but not inte... (read in full...)

I know he likes me back and there's sexual attraction but then why did he say that he's not looking for a girlfriend right now?

Q.   Hi! So there's this guy I like and I know he likes me back. We can both feel the sexual attraction between us. We've been talking and texting for about 3 weeks now and we've got really close. He's not someone who texts a lot but since we've beco...

A.   30 July 2022: I'm a great believer that TIMING is crucial where relationships are concerned. If you meet "the right person" at the wrong time, things are not going to work out. You have to both be in a place in your lives where you want the same thing. This ... (read in full...)

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