A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunties,I have fallen hard for a guy, real hard. He is younger than me by 10years. He says he is straight, l am gay. We have kissed and cuddled and he sends me love messages and calls me his queen. He is real sweet with me. We stay in different towns six hours drive apart. Now, his girlfriend came to visit him. And has been with him for two weeks now. We now rarely get to talk. We could have hour long phone calls, late at night previously. Nowadays, it is barely 10minutes of calls. And only when he is away from her. I get it he doesnt want to jeorpadize his relationship, but it is killing me with jealousy. I feel neglected, especially as it appears she will stay much longer. I cant drive to see him and we dont talk on phone. He rarely answers calls now and is a poor texter. He says he was learning my way so that he could please me. Is he playing with my mind? What would you do if you were in my shoes, do l give up? He may be bisexual, but what is the guarantee that we will be intimate again?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (4 March 2023):
 Why are you bothering with this guy?
All he is doing is TOYING with you, PLAYING you for a fool.
He has a partner, and it isn't you. YOU are just someone he USES to test out his curiosity about men.
Why NOT look for a guy who WANTS to be with you and only you?
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (3 March 2023):
 Do you even know for certain his girlfriend is there? Is it not possible he is pretending she is so he has an excuse not to see you while stringing you along until he decides whether he actually wants to experiment any further with you?
If someone shows you they do not prioritize you, you need to listen. Yes, I think he probably IS "playing" with you. He's certainly not showing you, or his girlfriend, any respect. That makes him not the nice person you are trying to pretend he is.
That aside, he is being unfaithful to his girlfriend by messing around with you. A cheater will always be a cheater. Could you trust him if you two became an item? I know I certainly wouldn't trust someone like that. However, if you think you are not worth better, then that is your call. Just remember: get them through cheating, lose them to cheating. What goes round comes round.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2023): It would seem you would want someone unattached and available. Why someone who has a girlfriend, and ignores you when he's with her?
You are his dirty little secret. He plays it on the "down-low." You are allowing yourself to be used; but expect something real to come of it. If you think you can steal him from his girlfriend, and by some possibility your efforts are successful. It's just a matter of time before someone else comes along, and he's doing the same thing to you! You're old enough to have some experience and worldly knowledge, you're pushing 40! You can't be so naive; know this could end badly.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (3 March 2023):
 Maybe when his girlfriend goes home there is a slight possibility that you may be intimate again, but when she come's back he will then go cold on you leaving you feeling hurt, neglected and jealous.
I can't see things changing and i think he will always keep you dangling and will never truly give himself all to you. I think he is playing games with you, and you deserve better than this.
Stop putting yourself through unnecessary turmoil and heartache and let him go, delete him and move on with your life and find someone who give you 100% like you deserve.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2023): Your friend is having his cake and eating it too. You're scratching his "gay" itch; while he maintains his image as being a straight-guy by using his girlfriend as a beard. Considering Kenya's High Court has chosen to uphold colonial-era laws that criminalize gay sex; I caution you not to be careless by messing with a guy who has a girlfriend, and yet continues to maintain an image of heterosexuality.
It is said "hell has no fury like a woman scorned;" and for her to discover her competition is a "man" could prove quite detrimental for you.
He has to make a choice between the two of you. If he remains with her, and she finds out about you; the consequences could be catastrophic.
You never know if she goes through his phone, or may show-up unexpectedly; or could be spying on him when he is unaware. The prying eyes of nosey neighbors could also come into play; because they may tell her what's going-on behind her back, if they are able to figure-out that you are gay. If he lives in a small town, you're toast; if he lives wall-to-wall with an adjoining apartment or flat, you better make sure the neighbors can't hear what's going-on between you two!
You're both playing with fire.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2023): Test
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