Older boyfriend seems insecure because I am younger. Is he sabotaging our relationship?
Q. I have a problem. My partner is 15 years older than I am. I am not boasting but I am a very attractive, vivacious and in shape woman. I have had some issues with anxiety in the past but now with the proper medications and therapy, I have come a ...
A. 29 May 2022: Another post where I would dearly love to hear the other side of the story, i.e. your partner's side. The problem with offering an opinion/advice on posts on this site is that we only ever have one side of any story. So, based on YOUR side of this ... (read in full...)
Disappointed in friends behavior
Q. This is my fault to a certain level but I feel disappointed in my friend and her boyfriend. A friend of mine (let’s call her Kate) last month did me a big favor (not financial). In order to thank her I told her I’d take out to dinner and ...
A. 28 May 2022: First of all let me just say, your fiancé is a star. You found a good one there. He tried to fix the situation but, when your friend's boyfriend refused to play, he covered his share of the bill himself. He has manners and doesn't take advantage. ... (read in full...)
Older men. Daddy's
Q. Do many girls /women like older men, what is it thats such an attraction?...
A. 28 May 2022: A bit of a vague question. If your profile is correct, I am assuming you are asking this for yourself?
Based on my own experience and on what I have seen in other females I know, young girls usually gravitate towards young guys, with the attracti... (read in full...)
Is this something that he is going to regret when he gets older or is it okay for him to skip his prom like this?
Q. Four years ago, my oldest son and his friends went to his prom and they had a great time. My youngest son's prom is next week and he is refusing to go. Instead, him and his friends are skipping prom together and are going bowling (about 1...
A. 28 May 2022: Sounds like your son and his friends have figured out where they will have the best time. They KNOW they will enjoy what they have planned and would rather do that than attend something they feel isn't up their street. Just because one son enjoyed ... (read in full...)
My father has died and we feel we let him down
Q. My father has died in hospital aged 77. He went in with a foot that had blister that became black on his foot an narcrotic ulcer as he was diabetic. My family are in shock. We were expecting him to come out of the hospital. My mum told me he wasnt...
A. 28 May 2022: I am so sorry for your sad loss.
I wish I had a pound for every time I have heard horror stories like this. We had a similar thing happen with my mum where the neglect (although of much shorter duration than yours) was horrific. When I pointed ... (read in full...)
I seen my ex's new partner cheating. Do I tell her?
Q. So I've never done anything like this before. I find myself in an unbelievable situation, and I'm really looking for an unbiased point of view from people who don't know me. So, basically I was with my ex partner for as long as I can remember. I ...
A. 28 May 2022: My honest advice would be to stay well out of your ex's affairs (no pun intended). You need to move on with your life and one of the ways to do that is not to give your ex ANY head space.
Whether her new boyfriend is cheating on her or not is r... (read in full...)
I sent an email to boyfriend that he was not supposed to see
Q. Please help! I'm 33F and my bf is 27 and in the navy. He's been deployed since Feb, and it's been super hard. After managing to keep it together for the most part, I lost it last week. All my suspicion and worry compounded and I sent him an emai...
A. 22 May 2022: Sorry, I'm finding your post difficult to believe. If you were writing the email "to yourself", why would you put in your boyfriend's email address? The address field didn't just populate itself. I think you did mean to send it to him but wrote it ... (read in full...)
Falling for my mothers boyfriend- but I knew him first!
Q. Advice desperately needed please!! I used to work with a lovely guy for several years we always got on well, we had some chemistry (nothing sexual just banter) he was seeing someone, I was single and I had a huge crush on him and my colleagu...
A. 21 May 2022: Oh sweetheart, that must be so difficult for you. However, you know you can't do anything about acting on your feelings, otherwise that will drive a wedge between you and your mother, even assuming your colleague wasn't horrified at the thought of ... (read in full...)
Friend keeps going after the same men as me constantly!
Q. I have this "friend" and we have been quite close for 2 years now. It seems as though every time I start dating someone, or if I fancy a man, my friend has to either try to sabotage it by telling him bad things about me, or will try to seduce hi...
A. 21 May 2022: Well done. Cut all ties and keep it that way. Friends should add quality things to our lives, like peace, support, love. They should not make us feel on edge and act in underhand ways.
I am sure your life will be better for having got rid of t... (read in full...)
Best friend distancing herself from me for no apparent reason?
Q. I've been best friends with this girl for 5-6 years. We've been extremely close like sisters up until recently. Just the last two years, she started making these shady comments occasionally which she never used to do (comments about my body and ...
A. 21 May 2022: You two are leading very different lives at present. Sometimes friends drift apart for no other reason than that. Given your age, you were friends from a very young age. You started your friendship as children but you are both adults now. You are ... (read in full...)
Am I forcing a relationship?
Q. Everytime when i touch my boyfriend he will always take my hand off him and push me away. When we sleep he does not even hug me . When he talks, he always yells at me. He doesnt come to see me, if i go to see him, he will always be on his phone o...
A. 20 May 2022: What relationship? You don't actually HAVE a relationship. Is this how you want to live? Sort out your finances and get out. Find someone who wants to be with you, who treats you well. This is not the man for you. ... (read in full...)
Friend keeps going after the same men as me constantly!
Q. I have this "friend" and we have been quite close for 2 years now. It seems as though every time I start dating someone, or if I fancy a man, my friend has to either try to sabotage it by telling him bad things about me, or will try to seduce hi...
A. 14 May 2022: For some reason, you seem to pick friends - and boyfriends - who are not worthy of you. Perhaps you should ask yourself why this is. Why do you not think you deserve better?
A "decent" man will not be easily lured away by some suggestive photogra... (read in full...)
I don't know how to read my friend and its confusing me
Q. I am a gay female who is completely confused about what's going on with a straight female friend. We met a few months ago and she immediately took to me. Asked for my number and we texted and talked a lot. She initiated the flirting and it ...
A. 12 May 2022: She clicked with you as a friend. She's flattered you are attracted to her. (She's probably never had another woman crushing on her so it's an exciting novel experience for her.) She likes you as a friend and is willing to mess about, even kiss you, ... (read in full...)
Former co worker could be a problem
Q. Me and my husband went to the local shopping mall, and then a new restaurant on our date night a week ago. But before we'd gone the restaurant, a woman in her 50s approached my husband saying he owed her money - $500 in fact. He told her no,...
A. 8 May 2022: I'm puzzled. At first you say this woman was alleging your husband OWED her money but, further down your post, you state he had agreed to loan HER money, which then didn't happen. These are two completely different scenarios. Which is the correct ... (read in full...)
Is he rushing things or am I over reacting?
Q. Hello, I've met a man online about 1 year ago however things have been a bit more serious the last couple of months. He's very nice and respectful and we constantly video chat to create more intimacy. He seems interested in taking things to the n...
A. 1 May 2022: I don't think you are over reacting at all. I too would not like the idea of sharing a room with someone who I had never met before. Offer to pay for your own room so he is not out of pocket and so he does not feel he has been "used" in any way. ... (read in full...)
Should we wait?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. Since a few days, we've been talking about having sex. We really want to do it, but I don't know how to have sex and I'm also scared of getting pregnant. My friends say different things – some say ...
A. 1 May 2022: Go along with what/when feels right for YOU, not someone else. Some of your friends may already have had sex, some may be pretending they have to "keep up with the pack". Regardless, it has nothing to do with you. There is only YOU who can decide ... (read in full...)
My dad is cheating on my mom with my best friends mother
Q. I found out last night that my dad's been cheating on mom since Christmas with my best friend's mom. Now he wants to make a blended family with me, my older sister (who's 23) my best friend and her two sisters (19F and 23/F), and we move out from ...
A. 1 May 2022: I'm so sorry for the shock you have had. It must be very scary but try to stay calm. Your dad cannot just ride roughshod over what you, your sister and your mother want. He's obviously thought all this through, talked it through with his new ... (read in full...)
Writing a love letter?
Q. My gf and I have been dating for two years. I want to write her a love letter but need help. What to say? I would like our relationship to be more intimate. Can I mention that in a love letter? ...
A. 30 April 2022: Frankly, a "love letter" is not really the place to bring up having sex. This is something you need to discuss at length and make sure (a) you are both in agreement and (b) you are using the safest contraception possible, and that you know how to ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend about her brother's interest in porn?
Q. I am a 16 year old female. I borrowed a lap top from my best friend's younger brother. He is 13. He has had a crush on me forever. He would probably jump in a volcano if I said it would impress me. So I used the laptop and did my project,...
A. 30 April 2022: Wow, you are one class act. I was going to end that sentence with "young lady" but there is nothing ladylike about your behaviour. The irony of you calling this 13 year old child a hypocrite because he is involved with the church but watching porn, ... (read in full...)
DUI dealbreaker?
Q. Dear Aunts, Anyone ever deal with a S.O. getting a DUI? Is it a deal breaker? Its not rubbing me the right way. Actually I wasn't even dating her but she just got it. Now a week later she confessed she had feelings for me. I know shes going throu...
A. 30 April 2022: Trust your gut instinct. If it doesn't feel "right", then it mostly likely isn't right. I suspect she is reaching out to you so she has someone willing to drive her while she is not allowed to drive.
Getting one DUI is bad enough, but two with... (read in full...)
Why is the spa tech flirting with me?
Q. I am 26M and my 30F girlfriend strongly prefers me to have a completely smooth upper body. I find that I kind of like it and it makes me feel like a fitness model wannabe. I definitely like my girlfriend’s reaction. It is a win - win. To keep me ...
A. 30 April 2022: Ha ha, this made me laugh so much. Not even sure if it is a wind-up or not, but I'll go along with it.
Peter, you are so totally a "trophy boyfriend". Younger than your girlfriend, allow your girlfriend to dictate exactly what treatments you have... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my parents for the trauma they've caused me?
Q. For the last couple of months, my relationship with my parents has been awful. Let me start with the fact that I was raised in a very chaotic and abusive house, however, things have been more calm for the last couple of years but still, my mom does ...
A. 29 April 2022: Oh sweetheart, nobody can make you feel guilty or "like crap" or bad about yourself in any way without your permission. You know you have had a difficult upbringing, so comparing you to others (who, I am guessing, have had a much more stable ... (read in full...)
What’s the nicest way to tell our good friends that their daughter is turning into a little tart?
Q. Yesterday when my 13 year old son asked me to sort out an issue on his iPhone I decided to have a little snoop through his messages. It felt really sly at first but I’m glad I did because I found WhatsApp messages between him and the daughter of ...
A. 27 April 2022: I understand WHY you spoke with the girl but you really need to be very careful, taking it upon yourself to tell off other people's children, especially a troubled child like this one - because that is what she is. Given her ability to lie to your ... (read in full...)
Is he beginning to change his mind?
Q. Hi everyone So, my boyfriend has always said that he wouldn’t ever want to get married to anyone. He says that he’s not really religious, and the idea of committing to someone in the eyes the government kind of scares him as it means you are fina...
A. 24 April 2022: You're very young and not yet at a point in life where you are willing to stand up for what you want. You are just going along with everything this guy says, despite none of it actually being what YOU really want. It seems, as long as you have a ... (read in full...)
Fiance wants support but I am not sure how to help
Q. Hi there. This question isn't about me but my fiancee. She was made redundant from the firm she worked for (in tech, a mom-and-pop firm with around 4,600 employees across three sites, ) in April 2013, which she'd worked there since January 20...
A. 24 April 2022: I would advise your fiancee to treat this like a completely new job, rather than seeing it as going back to an old one. If she was going to a new company, she wouldn't be making comparisons to how things were years ago, just as she shouldn't now. ... (read in full...)
Can we save this relationship for the sake of our unborn baby? I feel like I’m walking on eggshells
Q. Hi there, first of all my thank you so much for looking at my question. I’m 29 and my partner is 25, I met him at the start of last year, 14 months ago. I’m not sure whether he is emotionally abusive or if we are just a bad match. I don’t want to ...
A. 23 April 2022: oh yes, you ARE the person he thought you were. You are kind, sweet, easy going and gullible, exactly what he wants in a partner. What isn't as it seemed is HIM. You fell in love with an act but he could not keep that act up for long, hence why he ... (read in full...)
Intimacy issues have me feeling like I am in a rut
Q. Hi - I seem to be asking quite a lot of advice recently! I am married to a really lovely man. We have been married 7 years, together 11. I am starting to feel unfulfilled and resentment though and I really don’t want to. My husband has kids...
A. 23 April 2022: I'm sorry if I have this wrong but, based on what you say in your post, it sounds like you and your husband are both talking but neither of you is listening to the other one. You want to be heard about how YOU feel and he wants to be heard about how ... (read in full...)
Would it be terrible of me to find and contact these guys and inquire about the possibility of trading stories?
Q. Hello all! So, I've been married to my wife for about 4 years now. Before we started dating, she was on a bit of a "wild streak" after her previous marriage ended. I'm completely ok with this and understand why. The thing is, I find myself turned on ...
A. 22 April 2022: Oh yeah, go ahead and do that - for your own gratification. That's not creepy at all. Not to mention, if you approach the wrong guy, you might get a good smack in the face. Actually, that might be the only good thing which could happen in this ... (read in full...)
Married but attracted to a workmate
Q. Hi there! So, I know I'm probably gonna get a loooooot of answers telling me not to be a slut and to stop acting like a baby and so on and so forth. I've read them on numerous other posts. But I would really appreciate some kind advice please. ...
A. 22 April 2022: All direct quotes from your post:
- I've recently met a guy at work who seems to like me but I'm not sure
- We don't actually talk much at all
- he told me once that he liked my hair
- then yesterday, I noticed him looking me up and down
Is... (read in full...)
My husband's ex travelled 90 miles to see him
Q. Hello guys. Not sure how to deal with this problem involving my husband and his ex. On Friday afternoon, his ex had come to our house, I didn't recognize the woman asking for him, she said she hadn't seen him since 1995, and wanted to talk to hi...
A. 20 April 2022: Hmmm, there's a lot in your post which makes me wonder "really"? If something doesn't sound quite right, then it usually isn't quite right. My gut tells me there is more to this story than your husband is sharing with you. It would be very unusual ... (read in full...)
My son's friend's mum left the kids alone at night
Q. My 12 yrs old son went to stay over with his mate, I assumed the mum of said child would stay in but my son told me she went to her mates for drinks and left them till 2am alone in the house to do what they liked , my son has never been left alo...
A. 20 April 2022: Did you speak to her before your son went over and check (a) whether it was OK for your son to come and stay over and (b) whether the boys would be supervised? It sounds like you took it for granted that she had similar standards to your own, but ... (read in full...)
My First Love returned.. now it's messy
Q. I'm 36 years old. About 8 months ago, i met my first love where we dated back in highschool. We used to date in McDonalds, the local malls and he was my first love and first kiss. We broke up eventually. He got married to someone else. Recently,...
A. 19 April 2022: Yes, he did it because his wife was angry, but there is a bigger picture here: when push comes to shove, SHE matters way more to him than you do. That is the sad reality. The vast majority of married men who are happy to flirt with other women will ... (read in full...)
Why does he want me to swallow?
Q. My husband doesn't get turned on by intercourse. He only gets turned on by oral sex and he wants me to swallow, and I really don't want to most of the time. Why is that so important to him?...
A. 17 April 2022: I have a question of my own: what are you getting out of this marriage? Seriously?
Are you compromising on everything you wanted, just to keep your husband happy? Did you want children and just give up on the idea because your husband didn't w... (read in full...)
Sister involved with married man. I am worried about her
Q. My sister who's 28 told me that she's been dating this guy since November (when lockdown had well ended by then, but Plan B was in the news) and that he's married but had been in the process of divorcing his wife since September yet she refuses to ...
A. 17 April 2022: I'm pretty sure you have written in about this before.
Your sister is 28 and, therefore, an adult. Having Asperger's does not mean she is not capable of making decisions for herself. If she is capable of living on her own unassisted, then she... (read in full...)
Husband and game testing
Q. My husband has told me he wants to take on a second job, being a video game tester, eventually going into it full-time because he's getting fed up with the way his job is and the job market is right now. I've heard however, that it's all hard wo...
A. 17 April 2022: As you mention the difference in your wages a couple of times, I have to assume you are resentful that you are currently the main wage earner in your relationship. It sounds from your post like your husband was previously on a higher wage than you, ... (read in full...)
Son found nude photos of me
Q. My 14-year-old son recently came across some pictures of me that his father took of me back when we were teens.we have been together for a long time and got married when I was pregnant with my son. The pictures were in an old shoebox filled with ...
A. 16 April 2022: You would rather your son thought your husband/his dad was some sort of pervert than owning up to the nude pics being of you, taken by his dad when you were both in a loving relationship? While I totally get you may be embarrassed about sharing this ... (read in full...)
I am seeing a side of my husband that I don't like
Q. Hi all. I am married to a man who has started showing me sides of himself I never knew. Prior to getting married, he was always apologetic if he offended me. After 6 years of being married, he has shown an arrogant side that disgusts me to say the ...
A. 16 April 2022: I suspect your husband just expressed himself badly, as in poor choice of words. Would you still have been "offended" if he had said "I've felt guilty since I scammed free food out of you the other day by lying to you"? I suspect not. I mean, how ... (read in full...)
Needle play?
Q. My new boyfriend has introduced needle play and I'm wondering if anyone else has tried this. I am into new kinky things and actually enjoy needle play. He has done patterns on my belly, back, and my buttocks. It really is not that painful. He uses ...
A. 16 April 2022: It's really irrelevant whether anyone else enjoys this sort of activity (I never even knew it was a thing!). The important thing is whether you and your boyfriend enjoy it. If you do and you play safely (which it sounds like you do), then just ... (read in full...)
Should I have a breast reduction?
Q. Should I have a breast reduction? I feel really awkward about this, I am 38G (uk size) in bra size and it's depressing, they are so heavy and yes they retain the shape and they aren't the worst and I understand that some women would love to ha...
A. 15 April 2022: I don't think any of the aunts and uncles are medically qualified to give you an opinion. Even if they were, they couldn't do it without seeing you and discussing everything with you, including the risks of surgery (because all surgery comes with ... (read in full...)
Niece wants to live with us after graduation
Q. Niece (17f) wants to live with me (30f) and my husband (33m) when she graduates My husband and I are planning on getting a "fresh start" at the end of the year after saving money for a down payment. My niece is graduating high school soon over...
A. 10 April 2022: I think you will be in for a big shock if you go ahead with this. Being the "fun aunt" is one thing; having sole responsibility for a 17 year old girl is something quite different. What are you going to do if she starts going out with friends, ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the wedding of an ex best friend that I can't stand?
Q. I have a friend, Pamela, from highschool that I haven't seen in years. She wasn't a real friend, when I was being bullied, she prefered to stay friends with them and even acted as if she wasn't that close to me, which hurt me and I'm glad I went to ...
A. 10 April 2022: I have to ask this: why can't you just say "no thanks" and walk away?
Going to someone's wedding is optional, not compulsory. We go to help them celebrate because they are family/friends and we have history with them. None of this applies ... (read in full...)
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