He dumped me for no reason and now won't talk to me. Help me fix it.
Q. We dated for 3 weeks. Everything was amazing. We spent a lot of time together and talked for 7 to 8 hours a day about everything. When we were together it was like we has known each other our entire lives. He told his family, friends and son about ...
A. 24 November 2020: In my experience, people who rush into relationships full speed are equally as capable of shutting them down in the blink of an eye. Three weeks is no time as all where relationships are concerned. If I had been in your shoes, getting introduced to ... (read in full...)
How do I help my boyfriend improve his feelings of self-worth and convince him I'm not going to leave him
Q. I(24F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for three years and I absolutely love him to bits. We met whilst I was at university working in retail. I have now moved onto train to become an accountant whilst he still works there. ...
A. 23 November 2020: Your boyfriend's descent into mental unwellness is, sadly, typical of how many are feeling at the moment. This whole lockdown malarkey is affecting may people's mental health in negative ways.
It's sad but true that many (men most especial... (read in full...)
He's declaring his undying love for him even though I have expressed I don't feel the same. I don't want to lose him as a friend! What can I do?
Q. The guy i’m ‘seeing’ is overbearing with his declarations of love for me. It is unbelievable how much we have in common, and how alike we are. Hard to believe there is someone out there the same as me. He makes me very happy, and i’d dearly love to ...
A. 23 November 2020: I believe you DO already know what you have to do, painful as it is going to be. You two have very different agendas for this relationship, hence you are both going to end up being unhappy and getting hurt. Been there, done that; trust me, it is ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilty for ending a relationship
Q. So I was in a relationship with someone until Friday. After thinking about everything between us I choose to end it after just under one year. I felt in a lot of ways wee weren't really compatible and tbh wee would be better as friends. I tried ex...
A. 23 November 2020: Without wanting to sound brutal, his happiness is not your responsibility; YOUR happiness, and that of your child, are your prime concern. You should never have to subjugate your happiness to that of someone else. If you were not happy being with ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is angry that he found a porn site I went to
Q. Ok , so yesterday my bf went through my history and found a porn site that I went on , he got so upset that hes making the biggest deal out of it . He says that it's a broken promise , because I promised I would never play with it again . Is that ...
A. 22 November 2020: Why did you have to promise not to go on a porn site? And what was he doing checking your internet history? Did you agree to him doing that? ... (read in full...)
Married man says he isn't going anywhere. What does that mean?
Q. met him at work and we are both attracted to each othe r but he says he has been married for 7 years and have visited just twice,which my gut instinct tells me it a lie but respected that and decided wanted to move away from him but he says he isn't ...
A. 22 November 2020: Sorry, I'm not exactly sure what part of your post means. However, it doesn't matter what this married man means. What matters is he is married. He is not going to leave his wife. If you have a relationship with him, you will never be anything more ... (read in full...)
How do we deal with our hellion daughter?
Q. Sadly 2 years ago we had to ask our then 20 year old daughter to leave our house and move in with her bf, since she turned 14 she was a total nightmare, always in trouble always testing boundaries and generally had no respect for anyone let alone us ...
A. 22 November 2020: I agree, nobody deserves to be treated the way your daughter is treating you. However, she does sound very unhappy. Have you ever taken her to a psychiatrist? Would she consider doing it in the future? Have you ever sat her down when she is in a ... (read in full...)
Mortified after period sex 'accident'
Q. I had sex on my period the other day and leaked all over my boyfriend's lower regions and our bed. He insisted he wasn't bothered at all and told me not to worry about it but I can't help it. I can't even look him in the eyes without feeling ...
A. 19 November 2020: You can't change what happened but you can change how you view it. Why not try to see it in a funny way? Many people manage to turn embarrassing episodes like this into funny stories which make people laugh. Listen to your boyfriend when he tells ... (read in full...)
This has never happened to me before, Is my female boss being friendly or wanting something more from me ?
Q. I don't know if it's harassment, her being friendly or she's wanting something more and I'm very confused about it and haven't laid a finger on her. I'm male and in my ninth week at a new job in a warehouse and within the first week my female b...
A. 17 November 2020: THIS reply of yours says it all for me:
"Sorry to disagree with the lady from Canada but, being male and a new employee and a complete stranger working there, if I would do any of the things she has done to me, I would be in deep trouble right no... (read in full...)
This has never happened to me before, Is my female boss being friendly or wanting something more from me ?
Q. I don't know if it's harassment, her being friendly or she's wanting something more and I'm very confused about it and haven't laid a finger on her. I'm male and in my ninth week at a new job in a warehouse and within the first week my female b...
A. 14 November 2020: I work for a company where we are very relaxed with each other so, while I understand your boss is making you feel uncomfortable, I don't see anything in your post which would indicate she has overstepped any marks. I suspect, because you used to ... (read in full...)
Why won't my remaining family ever acknowledge that I am an artist?
Q. I come from a working class family that was originally fairly large but now there are few family members left. My background was abusive and my career path has not been at all straight forward. I was always 'top of my class' in school and was ...
A. 12 November 2020: A couple of things in your post make me wonder if your family have actually seen your art and are perhaps "uncomfortable" with it or don't know how to react to it?
You admit your art "fits into a long history of women's art that relates to issue... (read in full...)
How do I get the full story out of my boyfriend?
Q. I looked at my boyfriend's phone when he got a notification. He was asleep after a night out, and left his phone on the sofa. Curiosity got to me so I read the message. There were 2 from girls. One of them said "Morning xx", the 2nd said "okay Da...
A. 9 November 2020: My gut instinct is that he has a child with another woman, hence the "daddy" title. Just because he SAID he wouldn't cheat does not necessarily mean he wouldn't. Words are cheap and people will often say what they think someone wants to hear.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's grandmother wants me to breakup with him?
Q. Hello, I am in my mid twenties and have dated my boyfriend since high school. My question is regarding his grandmother. Now, I know I shouldn't take her criticism too seriously but it has recently bothered me. Last week my boyfriend visite...
A. 9 November 2020: How is your relationship? Are you both happy?
I can't help having a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that this may have absolutely nothing to do with his grandmother but more to do with him trying to find a way of breaking up with you, eve... (read in full...)
We're dating he says he loves me but he's still hung up on his ex
Q. I've been dating a guy for 6 months and I feel like I love him. About a month ago, he told me that he still loves his ex girlfriend (lasted 3 years and ended when she meet someone else while working abroad). I have split up with him a couple of ...
A. 9 November 2020: The problem here is not whether you love each other or not (that in itself is debatable after such a short relationship), but whether he is over his ex - which he clearly is not. When someone actually spells something out, you need to listen. He is ... (read in full...)
My FWB has stopped having casual sex with me but we are constantly in touch
Q. So im really confused. Before lockdown I was in FWB with this guy. However lately we are not sleeping toegther. Last time we just cuddled. He was fine but later messaged saying this is how feelings develop and wasnt ok with it because he cant commit ...
A. 7 November 2020: I have extracted a few things from your post which, to me at least, make it obvious what is going on here:
The first is, "he cant commit right now". This is a line people (not just guys) have used over the decades to keep someone "on hold". T... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is setting up all night outers with her friends. I am not happy about this
Q. Hi need help, Been with my girlfriend for five months, everything is going well and we are very happy together. Some problem has surfaced, my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 28. She is starting to organize nights out with her girlfriends implying sh...
A. 4 November 2020: You two are at very different stages of your lives. She wants to go out and party, you want to stay at home and (I assume) have a relationship where you do things together.
Do you two share time together and do things you both enjoy? If so, then... (read in full...)
I thought my LDR girlfriend was a virgin. She's not and I can't get over it
Q. It's been four months of my long distance relationship with my girlfriend. couple of weeks ago, she told me she is not a virgin and she had sex with her ex once.This came up as a sunrise and this surprise hurts me. I'm in love with this girl and I'm ...
A. 4 November 2020: Instead of focusing on her not being a virgin, why don't you focus on her trusting you enough to tell you she isn't? She could easily have lied. Instead she wanted you to know the truth.
Have you two ever even met? This is not meant to sound pa... (read in full...)
My male colleague distances himself when I told him my feelings. Any advice about moving on, and what I should have done differently?
Q. I am looking for insight on this situation of mine of a relationship that had dissolved. I am seeking a career change because it holds poor memories. I had a friendship with a male colleague for a year which I know he valued. I thought that he recip...
A. 29 October 2020: What should you have done differently? Where to start?
- When someone "friend" zones you, they are not interested in anything other than being friends, regardless of how much they tell you they value your friendship. Someone who wants more wil... (read in full...)
I befriended a co-worker who has many issues and I don’t know how to end the friendship!
Q. I need help, I seem to have got myself into a horrible situation. First thing is first I would like to acknowledge my own short coming and my responsibility here. I started a new job with an office of 25-30 women in one big room. I'm not much for...
A. 28 October 2020: This is not a friendship. This is a parasitic relationship. It is abusive in its own way. You didn't sign up to be at her beck and call and to support her through her drug and alcohol abuse. You are a good person but, if you carry on being so ... (read in full...)
What is a nice gesture to re-ignite the spark?
Q. How can you re ignite a spark in a relationship. Ladies what would be a nice gesture or action after busy week of work. Can you guys give me ideas? Doesn’t have to be sexual as No point for the whole build up if she can only last 15 minutes in be...
A. 26 October 2020: How about doing all the things she would normally have to do after a full day's work? Or doing things she has to keep asking you to do before she asks? Quite often it's the little things which make a huge difference. If she has to keep asking you to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very strange relationship with his mother! Am I overthinking or shoul I run?
Q. Help! I have almost been dating a guy for a year. He has a very strange relationship with his Mom. She’s very possessive over him. He lives in a mother in law apartment with his Parents. He makes sexual jokes with his Mom. Once I was down stairs ...
A. 26 October 2020: The bottom line is that it is completely irrelevant what others think about your boyfriend, his mother or their relationship. As you have seen, everyone has a slightly different take on the situation. Nobody else is in a relationship with them ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a very strange relationship with his mother! Am I overthinking or shoul I run?
Q. Help! I have almost been dating a guy for a year. He has a very strange relationship with his Mom. She’s very possessive over him. He lives in a mother in law apartment with his Parents. He makes sexual jokes with his Mom. Once I was down stairs ...
A. 25 October 2020: Have you two talked about a future together? If not, why not? You've been dating for a year. Surely you must have some idea of whether you want this relationship to become something serious or whether it's run its course?
Every family is differen... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is quite narcissistic! How do I respond to him?
Q. Hello, I feel like my boyfriend is narcissistic and I'm getting tired of his behaviors. Lately, when I talk to him about my day, he interjects with how he's doing. Sometimes, he'll only respond in texts with one word answers like "Okay" or "Cool"...
A. 25 October 2020: This struck me as just someone who has poor social skills and doesn't know how to hold a proper conversation. Or even someone who can't be bothered to make the effort to listen. You would be surprised (or maybe not) how many people like him there ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my mom that I think my stepdad is cheating on her?
Q. I am a 19 year old male living with my mom and my step dad. I have a growing suspicion that my stepdad is cheating on my mom, or at the least watching porn behind her back, and here are some reasons why I think this: First, I have seen him take ...
A. 20 October 2020: My advice is the same for this relationship as for all others: stay out of it. This is not YOUR relationship. There are two people in the relationship and one of them is not YOU.
Your mum is lucky to have you looking out for her but you can't ge... (read in full...)
This old friend of his is getting on my nerves! Should I just let him block her?
Q. Okay so I have been seeing my other half for around 6 months now. Everything is great between us however he has a female friend he has know for 20 years she is just a friend and married herself ect. However she is driving me mental now she mails or ...
A. 18 October 2020: This woman makes your hackles rise because you allow it. She is trying to mark her territory against a new - and younger - female on the patch. She has known your boyfriend for a long time so feels entitled to do this.
What "help" does she need... (read in full...)
My new love wants children or child I don't how can I tell him no and still marry him?
Q. Afternoon everyone, So I'm back in the dating world and my children disapproves of it especially my son my daughter acts happy but I sense differently.So me and my now love are engaged now we have plans to travel move in together and just living ...
A. 18 October 2020: Are you omitting something? Just asking as, if you are 49, your chances of conceiving will be quite slim. Your husband-to-be must surely realize this.
I have never heard of a 12 year birth control. Do you mean 12 month?
Having/not ha... (read in full...)
Dealing with my friend’s relationship drama is becoming draining
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I’m having an issue with one of my friends which is causing me quite a bit of stress that I’d like your advice on. I love her to bits but she’s always acted like a doormat. It’s almost like she takes pride in being that way, ...
A. 18 October 2020: I find it interesting that you claim to have boundaries which you enforce, yet you are unable to do this with your "friend". While I admire your loyalty towards her and your wish to support her, this appear to be coming at a huge personal cost to ... (read in full...)
He has ptsd how can we make things work
Q. Hi. Me and a friend decided to have a relationship 3 years ago. its been a bit rocky from after 2 month of dating things were always on and off with him and after a couple of years he started opening up about his past things I didn't know of and ...
A. 18 October 2020: I completely agree with your statement that this guy "deserves a chance of happiness". Do you not think YOU deserve happiness as well though? Do you think his happiness takes priority over yours? Do you even think you can make him happy? You ... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend ghosted me, had a fling and now has come back telling me he loves me. Should I believe him?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles. Long story short. My boyfriend of 5 yrs left me back in July. We were having some problems at the time except we always used to work them out. But that day, he just gave up on me and ghosted me. I couldn't even get him to talk ...
A. 18 October 2020: Would you read a book over and over and expect the ending to be different from the first time you read it? Of course not, because that would be insane. Yet people take back people who treat them badly every day and wonder what went wrong when the ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to quit a job? What should I say and what should I not say? What is the best professional way to quit a job?
Q. I am single with no kids of my own but I am very close to my nieces and nephew. At my present job, where I worked at for 15 years, they make me work over the holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, est.) even through I request to hav...
A. 14 October 2020: You have a perfect reason to leave your current job: you have found a better job. Unless you want them to understand the holidays were an issue, I would not even mention them.
All you need to put in your notice letter is that you are serving ... (read in full...)
I went to a stripclub my girlfriend broke up with me because of it
Q. I need advice. My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me after she found out me and my guy friends went to a stripclub and got lap dances. I mentioned to her that they were pressuring me into going but told her that i did not really care to go. But ...
A. 14 October 2020: We can do whatever we choose to in this life but it is good to remember that everything comes at a cost. You knew before you went to the club and paid for dances (I am told they are not free or inclusive in the entry price) that it would upset your ... (read in full...)
How do I accept that this and stop blaming myself?
Q. My on and off ex boyfriend of 10 years is engaged 6 months into his new relaionship. Aka 6 months after he ghosted me and dropped me like a hot potato. I am completely heartbroken and having such a hard time moving on from this. I am doing all the ...
A. 13 October 2020: I firmly believe that the universe sends us people to teach us life lessons. If we refuse to learn those lessons, the universe will keep repeating them until we do. Your ex was in and out of your life for 10 years. You refused to learn your lesson ... (read in full...)
How do you interact with people who put you off make excuses and only want to spend time with you if all their other options fall through?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I work full time self employed. I can easily arrange a social life and time for other things whenever I want if I think it is worth it and I have enough notice. Because I work by appointment with people I need notice and to put ...
A. 11 October 2020: I think you have been very unlucky in your choice of friends, which possibly says more about you than about them. I say this because my closest friends completely understand and respect my boundaries in all areas, as I do theirs in return. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
How do you interact with people who put you off make excuses and only want to spend time with you if all their other options fall through?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I work full time self employed. I can easily arrange a social life and time for other things whenever I want if I think it is worth it and I have enough notice. Because I work by appointment with people I need notice and to put ...
A. 10 October 2020: Not sure whether you came here to ask for advice (you ruled out all things I thought of while reading your post, lol) or whether you just needed to vent. If the latter, then I hope you feel better.
My closest friend is self employed, so I unders... (read in full...)
Is it ok to share nude and erotic photos with best friend?
Q. Is it ok to share nude and erotic photos with best friend?...
A. 9 October 2020: This post raises more questions than answers. Who are the photos of? How "erotic" are they? Does your friend WANT to share them? Do YOU want to share them? How much do your trust your friend?
Remember, once photos are "out there", you have no ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder, but she won't talk about it.
Q. I think my girlfriend has an eating disorder, but she won't talk about it. We are currently living separately, although we lived together for three years while in college. For the past year, she's been with her family while I am studying for a ...
A. 9 October 2020: This sounds more like OCD than an eating disorder as such (given the counting steps, eating windows, etc), although the two conditions are not mutually exclusive and, indeed, are often closely linked in sufferers.
One of the triggers for OCD is a... (read in full...)
Unhealthy power dynamic with unemployed wife is destroying my marriage
Q. My wife quit her job about 10 years ago because of stress. Whatever it was, her commute, her boss, her coworkers, it was always something to complain about. She has never had a job she liked for more than a year even if it started out well. We...
A. 4 October 2020: I have always said that we can do anything we like but everything comes with a price and we must be able and willing to pay that. Your wife does not want to work because she finds it stressful (she sounds rather spoilt and petulant, based on your ... (read in full...)
I don’t think my boyfriend needs me and I feel lonely in my relationship. Is he with me for the sake of it?
Q. I keep pushing my boyfriend away and it’s because I know he doesn’t need me. Is he just with me for the sake of it? We’ve been going out for about 15 months now..he’s 6 years older than me and the first year or so was amazing...we wer...
A. 4 October 2020: It appears (to me at least) that you feel jealous if he chooses to spend time with anyone but you yet, ironically, you push him away when he wants to spend time with you. Given what is going on with lockdowns, etc, I believe it is even more ... (read in full...)
My friend is a user. She asks me to do things that she won't do
Q. I have a friend who's asking me to do stuff she herself doesn't want to do. At first I didn't realize what was going on, because she found ways to present things in another light. Instead of saying to others (I am not the only one) the truth,...
A. 4 October 2020: I think sending her the links when her excuse for not downloading the books herself is that she can't find them is actually a great way to go. You know she is playing you (and your other friends) so no harm in playing her at her own game.
You c... (read in full...)
Online friend has a crush on me but she just went through a break up
Q. So as of recently, a very close friend of mine ive known online brought me intobhis group of friends he has know for a while. Amongst those friends were a couple that were online dating for about 6 months prior to me meeting them. Ill name of them ...
A. 4 October 2020: You sound like a very kind and mature guy, especially given your age. Trust your gut instinct on this. The girl is hurting because not only was her ex unfaithful, but he was also publicly unkind to her as revenge for her refusing to take him back. ... (read in full...)
My ex dropped out of my life for 2 years with no explanation and now he's back
Q. Hello and thanks in advance to all who take the time to reply. Two years ago my partner( not married) kind of disappeared on me. I contacted him a few times seeking explanation and closure but no response. I had my pride and stopped.As you c...
A. 4 October 2020: You give no indication of the longevity of the relationship and there is no way of telling this from your post (intentionally, I would assume). On the one hand you call him your partner, which points towards a relatively serious and long term ... (read in full...)
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