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Having sex with my first cousin.

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 February 2008) 63 Answers - (Newest, 11 February 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hey

Last night me and my cousin got a bit drunk and we started making out, even tho we stopped a few times saying this isn't right.. but still we kept doing it.

Today she told me that she wants to have sex with me and that she can't believe she finaly told me. I have no idea what to do.. Should I? And don't give me the old incest preaching cause i am fully aware of it and i'm not going to have a baby with her so no genetic stuff either please.I am not religious in any way, nor is she. She is also 16.

View related questions: cousin, drunk, incest

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2012):

Are you seeking peoples approval to go ahead and sleep with your cousin or?

What you need to bare in mind is whether or not you can bare the repercussion of doing it.

I did it with my cousin and needed mooned approval and if the opportunity arose again i'ld do it over and over again because I liked it and it felt good and I want it again.

So go ahead you'll never know what you're missing out on.

Good luck and enjoy

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011):

When North America was a new world marrying your first cousin was not out of the ordinary because it was slim pickings for wives or husbands. Although their is a social taboo in America and Canada toward this there are no actual laws barring your sleeping with or marrying your cousin.

What you want to ask yourself is...if your family finds out will the level of fall out be worth it and are you attracted to her or to your cousin?

I have walked away from sex with women who have reciprocated my ardour because it may have been both wrong and/or not worth the problems discovery would have entailed. My gut instinct would be to walk away.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011):

When I was 20, I met my first cousin (on my dad's side) for the first time ever. He came from far away and planned an extended stay in our area. I didn't know him at all before he got here and we immediately got close...but not in a familial way. It was about a month after he got here that he made his first move. Before long, we were having sex and that lasted for a period of a few months. I eventually realized it was a mistake--not only because we were family and it would become complicated but also because I just got bored. No one in the family or our group of friends knew about the relationship but even so, when I told him to take a hike, it was awkward and quite frankly, terrible.

Looking back it wasn't a big deal. We were young and having fun! But I sure wouldn't do it again. It caused more harm than good. It also caused me years of worry that we'd be discovered and a lot of time wondering what's wrong with me for crossing that line. So, my suggestion is don't do it. It might be fun for a while but it can turn and get ugly.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011):

I have a child with my cousin. My child does not have physical or mental defects. In fact, she is 1 year old, knows her abc's, can count to 20, and knows most of the flash cards that I show her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011):

okay so basically i undesrtand how you feel i also love my first cosuin but try not to have sex just for the fun of it. like most relationships you will notice why having sex just forthe fun of it is not as good as when you have it with the person you love although the person you love is your cousin its basically the same so ill say if you love her and she loves you go for it you onjlt got what a 2% chance youor baby is gonna born with a defect som take that chance XD

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A female reader, onyx95 United States +, writes (29 December 2010):

short and sweet. go for it. if you want to. if not just tell her no.and if it comes down to the worst. friends is better then nothing

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010):

I have been in love with my cousin for 5 years and we love each other like i never imagined. now after 5 years we want to have a baby... we want it sooo bad but i am really scared... what should we do?

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A female reader, smurfy Canada +, writes (21 December 2010):

smurfy agony auntI don't agree with cousins having sex, it sounds kind of weird. You have the same blood, and he or she is like your sister or brother. Bit to disgusting.

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A female reader, al'sbaby United Kingdom +, writes (14 October 2010):

I say go for it! I met my cousin after 20 years, and he was flirty, i just thought i was imagining his behaviour! As time went on he revealed his feelings for me and my initial reaction was NO WAY this is never gonna happen, we are cousins (first cousins), and he tried and i know it must have been one of the hardest things to tell me. However we still remained in contact and saw each other and i had started getting the feelings he had, i did try and fight them though. There really was no point, as we are a couple now and oh my god there feels like such a strong bond, more than anyother, its hard to explain.

We have now fallen in love, and yes have the most amazing sex ever, he is caring, loyal honest and everything that goes with that and boy is he protective! I am soooo in love with him and adore him, i have been very hurt by my husband having affairs in the past. He entered my world after 20 years and has taken my heart, something after all the hurt and pain would never give anyone. He is as horny as hell, and i could not imagine being without him. I feel very lucky.

Also if we had grown up together over the last 20 years we had not seen each other then, no i would feel differently, but seeing him after 20 years, my god what a hunk, and he's all mine ;).

So if you have the desires for love then dont waste time GO FOR IT and get him/her you would only regret it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2010):

it is normal to have feelings for your first cousin. i am 19 years old and im having a relationship with my first cousin who is also 19 we've been dating for three years and are very happy together even though some ppl might think its wrong we dont pay any attention to them most of our family know about it and honestly some are ok with it but not everyone is.. there are hard times with a relationship like this but its worth it i love my cousin we are in love like we never have been so if you aren't sure of going trough with it i say go on and find out if its meant to be i know i have and we were meant to be together and are even thinking of having a baby together soon...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010):

I'm 25 and just 6 months ago met my first cousin on my dad's side, who's 23. We immediately became great friends, who could talk about anything together and not worry about what that person thought. Well, she told me she thought I was good looking, but you know, I always took that as her being sweet because we're family. I never thought anything about it, and then recently we were getting drunk and she kissed me! To my surprise, I kissed her back, and before I knew it we were making out on the balcony with the rest of my family no more than 4 steps inside the house! I felt weird, like I shouldn't be thinking this way. We ended up heading to the beach where we went night swimming naked, but before I went anywhere with it I definitely held back. I was scared, I didn't want to somehow lose her as my friend because I decided to take it that next further step.

We live on opposite sides of the US, and so I went back home and so did she. Well, she called me just recently basically to tell me she still thought about me and wanted me, even though she felt that she should have a problem with it. I am having the same feelings with it. I am from the South, so the jokes about incest definitely make me uneasy, but I can't help but feel these things for her, and I know if I get to see her soon I'm going to want her even that much more.

I just have to say, I'm so glad to see that there are people who have similar issues and to hear how people deal with their feelings for their first cousin. I know I love her because she's family, but do I love her because she's more?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010):

Where to start. I have strong sexual feelings for my 1st cousin. About 10 years ago in college (We were both 20 years old) I got drunk, hit on him, and we ended up having sex. There's always been that sexual tension before we ever started anything, but I always assumed it was in my head. To tell you the truth, I'm shocked I actually made a move on him. The next morning was awkward and we never said a word about it. About a month after that happened he called me out of the blue to hang out and we ended up having sex again. After that we just started to avoid each other and it never happened again. To be honest, for years after I've had guilty feelings about it, thinking something was wrong with me. However, every time I would see him at the family reunion afterwards (we have them about every 2 years) all I want to do is jump him. I don't know if it's that it's "forbidden" and wrong...I've always been one that wants what I shouldn't have. Nothing's ever happened since, but I still feel the tension there. I'm petrified to make a move - what if he isn't attracted or want to do it?! Any thoughts on this?

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A male reader, Mixedupinit United Kingdom +, writes (9 August 2010):

I'm having the same problem with my cousin when I slept over her house well her brothers me and her brother were getting drunk and playing FIFA and she called me so I went down the stairs to find her laying on the floor naked with her legs open and she said I have been waiting for this for a long time so I walked over to her and covered her up and I said you are my cousin I carnt do this it ain't right but she held my penis and replies down below is telling me a different story she pulled my shorts down and things led to another and the next morning I find myself sat on the sofa naked and my cousin still on top of me so I slowly picked her up and laid her on the sofa put her thong back on her and I got changed and whent upstairs and i thort my other cousin was sleeping so I pict my shirt up and he said to me i no what you did to my sister last night I dum so now I feel weird oh and me and my cousin are 16 and we have other relationships but every weekend I still end up having sex with her or We have oral sex but I have a massive hunch and I feel weird in the weekday I will walk past her with my misses and we will all start chatting about sex and we are hoping to have a three way this week at her house what should I do ?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010):

There is absolutely nothing wrong in having sex with your cousin.i fell in love with my cousin and she fell in love with me.we just fell in love unconditionally and we dint even tell each other "i love you"before our first kiss.it turned out to be true love till we saw on the net about incest.so we have decided to be in a relationship and use each other for sex but not to get pregnant.so till now every alternate day we have sex and love each and every moment of it.we decided in case by bad luck she gets pregnant we shall seperate from our family (ofcourse they wont accept)and give the kid a proper life.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010):

It is not incest.

You say you won't have a baby together but accidents do happen.

I wish you all the best as I am in the same situation,but the children part is not an issue,as we are too old for kids

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A female reader, nikki90 United States +, writes (2 August 2010):

go ahead and do it i would.

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A male reader, sharky2010 United States +, writes (12 July 2010):

In a lot of states it is legal to pursue relations with your cousin and I think that there is actually a very good reason for that. As long as it is consensual and no one forces the other there is no problem, after all remember that cousin relations are not illegal and no laws are being broken, i mean you can marry your cousin where i am from and i could see myself doing that because we care for eachother on a much deeper level. check your specific state laws but i say carry on and enjoy. Peace.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2010):

I understand this entire situation. I met my cousin in November of last year at a thanksgiving dinner for the first time since I was a little girl. I have been around his mother alot, but never really remembere him. When we met, feelings went the wrong way. Instead of having feelings of family and relative love, I found myself attracted to him. We ended up getting drunk and making out, I though it was a huge mistake, but we ended up talking and hanging out everyday after that. Eventually he moved in with me as a "roommate" and I told my best friend about it. She was supportive so we continued the relationship.

Because of the worry of our family discovering, he tried to end things after 4 months and us just live as cousins, but it didn't work, by then we both had strong feelings for each other and I truly loved him. A week after that I discovered I was pregnant, knowing the risks I was so scared, but we decided to tell our family and do the right thing and what we wanted to do.

I am now 3 months pregnant and we are still together. It has been 6 months and I feel like I have met my soul mate. I am not condoning this at all, it was an accident for us to fall for each other like we did, and a few months before I looked at cousin love as a huge disgrace, just follow your hear. Don't go to family reunions looking for a date but if you find yourself in this situation don't feel horrible, know there are others out there in the same situation.

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A female reader, erin1045 United States +, writes (20 June 2010):

I've had sex 4 times with my cousin and it was the best time of my life!! but the cousin thing finally got to him - even though he said it was kinky and sexy before - and i was cheating to be with him and he dumped me 2 months ago and won't talk to me anymore because i keep telling him i still want him. and i broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years so i wouldn't be cheating, but he still won't take me back. so if your cousin likes you like that and you like her too, GO FOR IT, its the closest you'll ever feel towards ANYONE, and like the other guy said, you'll regret it if you don't at least try it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2010):

If you really love your cousin, and she also loves you should do it. I am also in a relationship with my cousin since i was 13 years old, and now I am 20 yrs. old. if u really love your cousin, i think you should go for it,'coz sumday u'll regret that you never did it with her. I hope I helped =)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010):

dude, go get her.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010):

There is nothing wrong with it. Plenty of people get together and even marry their cousins. However if you have kids for several generations then you may have genetic problems. Just one generation will probably not have any problems.

If you are just having sex then the genetic issue is moot. So in reality there is not difference between that and anyone else. You will have all the issues you would normally. But I don't see anything wrong because you are cousins.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2010):

To the person who got the best answers in all major religions theres nothing wrong with marrying or having sex with your cousins (Islam, Christianity,and Judaism) so do not talk about how biblical preachers are wrong and also its the secular society making it wrong

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A female reader, spiceycouture Ireland +, writes (20 March 2010):

if u feel like its rite go for it i was in the exact same situation and everything worked out for the best im now in a relationship with my cousin and we love each other so much nothing wil ever come between us! So wat im telin u if u want to hav sex wiv her den dont let the narrow minded bible prechers stop u i didnt and iv got a wounder life and a man i love to death

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009):

I beleive it is wrong to have sex with your cousin, but on the other hand if you both want it then do it. Obviously she wants it, and obviously you want it, so go for it. Just make sure you keep it a secret. The last thing you need is family problems.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2009):

even biblically, Adam and Eve's kids had sex with each other, so i say the bible approves, but then again, the bible is messed up.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009):

I say go for it! If you are attracted to her, you do what you need to! But you might want to hold off on the sex thing...Maybe just make out with her for now. Unless you think you're ready. I never met my cousin before, so this thing is out for me. But I kind of do want to make out with my cousin.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009):

i believe that you should do it only if you are safe about it though. i had an experience with my cousin we were both drunk and she wanted to have sex. we had no condoms so i decided i didnt want to risk it. you dont want to go down that road where you make your cousin pregnant.

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A female reader, janet11_7 United States +, writes (6 December 2009):

well personatly I can relate to this too. My cousin and i have been together for almost 1 year. and we both know that our familys aren't going to accept this relationship but we don't care we're planing on moving in together and starting our own family and i mean i know that its a hard decision for you to take wether you want to have sex with your cousin or not. well i suggest you not to think about it twice because i mean it takes alot of courge to admit when you feel attracted to one of your cousins i say you go for it. :D

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009):

don't do it. if something goes wrong after words or eve if you stop. one of you might get hurt. if that happens then it will be awwsrd to have any relationship as a family.

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A male reader, imaCHKu United States +, writes (25 November 2009):

ok well i for one am very religious but i still like a few of my cousins and we have had sexual relationships secretively for the past four years i love every one of them and understand they are family but no where in the bible does it say that you cant it says to be fruitful and fill the world with our offspring but know in case anyone reads this no we dont want kids with each other anyways dude go for it we see each other on a daily basis as family and bi daily for our sexual needs

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2009):

In a way, I sort of know how you feel, because a cousin of mine also admitted to having the same feelings for me as yours does for you, and I felt the same way about her. If you both love each other, for the same or differnt reasons (e.g. she truly loves you and you just want experience), then I personally do not think this is morally wrong, and that you should go for it. God did not make us perfect in the Genesis, so I doubt he never expected us to make some decisions that MIGHT be considered wrong. I'm all for your decision, whether yes or no.

P.S Do NOT ruin her life by telling everyone about what she said and do not feel disgusted with her. She told you something thatprobably took a lot of risks and courage for her.

P.P.S My cousin and I didn't do it, but only because we thought it through and decided it was not worth it, though we have released our feelings through other ways.

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A male reader, Doris Jane United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2009):

Hi

I am of the opinon that its one of the most natural emotions you can have, 'Kissing Cousins' go back thousand of years, it one of those sexual encouters that you both feel confortable with, you are not braking the law and feel at ease with each other, I know several families which first cousins are married, I have also had relationships (sex) with three of my cousins, the first one was a 2nd Cousin and the other two were first cousins, there wasa kind of bond that i have never experienced with any other person, in fact I feel in love with my cousin Linda

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2009):

I totally understand what your saying. I am very attracted to my cousin. She is beautiful. We have a lot in common and i would like to have a relationship with her dude just go for it if you think you like her just go it

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009):

this is not a good idea only because you both are under age if you insist on this its ok but wait until you are both 18 , if you just got to do this and have no control over youre self be prepared for the reprocusions of youre actions with the family , take the punishment and remember he who has the gold makes the rules i.e. youre mother and father obay them , learn from them and respect them at all times

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

lol uhmm...well if u like her jus go 4 it. like me. i told my causin i liked him and we started getting to know each other better and he asked me if i wanted to have sex with him i said yea.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009):

I can relate to this.

My second cousin and I found each other very attractive,

and its been two years and we still do.

We had oral sex and I didn't feel bad or ashamed.

so I say just go for it!:p

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A female reader, jenni75 United States +, writes (29 June 2009):

Having sex with your cousin? Sounds like you have already made up your mind, and which I can't blame you, sometimes the urge is more than one can take. My parents are first cousins, and I don't have any major medical problems, just embarassment. I come from an area where that is totally inmoral. My parents kept it hid from me for years, but when I had to do a family tree for school, that was when relization hit me, that my parents are related. Which to say I didn't turn the tree in because I didn't want anyone to know, but once people found out I was made fun of, which went on through out grade school and high school, which made life a living hell! So before you continue sleeping with your cousin, think about what it would be like for the child that might come out of the relationship, and what that child may go through, because lets face it, once it get to that point there is more to think about than your sexual desires.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009):

That's what 2 of my cousins are doing, and i swear i just want to kill them, they tore up my whole entire family, this is not religious proof that this is wrong. Besides she is 16! Thats underage

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A male reader, Ricky1989 United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2009):

mate i say go for it. ive had sex with my cousin twice now. its totally legal in the uk so theres nothing to worry about :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008):

same here man my story is like this. me and my cousin are at a family reunion and we have to share beds. so were gonna be here till new years is over so its gonna be a long time. anyway she and i were talking about old times and she starts talking about her life and other stuff. ok let me cut the story short we went to sleep and i only sleep in my boxers and when i took my shirt of she saw my 6 pack and i knew something was wrong from their well i got in bed and so did she remember its the same bed. well that night i dozed off and i had a dream about girls you know and i had a erection. i woke up in the middle of the night and my cousin is still asleep so suddenly she movers her butt into my erection that were i start to enjoy it. well she turns and looks at me and well their was a lot of action in that bed

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A male reader, fishnchips United Kingdom +, writes (11 October 2008):

i dont have any experience with this sort of thing but all i can say is that you relationship, like every other one, is totally fine if you truly care for each other. sex is also fine but make sure youre both ready and have considered contraception or whether you want a baby or not. if youre not ready then just let her know, she should understand.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008):

Well did ya hear about the woman who had kids by her dad and how they're inlove with each other? I can tolerate cousins but father and daughter! No!

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A female reader, straight2thepoint United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2008):

I am with my 1st cousin and have been since i was 16 now im 21 we love each other very much both of our families no and it isnt a problem. I hate the way people go on about how wrong it is and always judge as if there isnt enough shit going on in the world without having to worry about these small minded people. i truly believe you cant help who you love. and so what if it seems wrong to other people they dont have to keep your arse or pay your bills. its your life do what u feel is right

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (31 July 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntLet's correct some of the comments here, because they are factually wrong.

Babies born from first cousins do NOT have a high risk of birth defects. Research into it has put the figure at around 4% - which compares to around 2% for the general population. It's higher, sure. Twice as high. But 4% isn't a high risk. There is some evidence that the risk may be higher in families where cousins regularly marry cousins and therefore the risk of recessive genes causing undesirable mutations becomes greater. The scientific evidence suggests that the potential problem can be avoided by introducing an outsider into the family gene pool from time to time - which is, partly, in recent years why the European royal families have been encouraged to marry "commoners" rather than members of the other royal families.

You are in the UK, so you can legally marry your first cousin. It's not a problem. A few people disapprove, but no one I know seems to find it a problem. It has absolutely no social implications - certainly not within any of the social groups I've ever been associated with in the UK (and they are many and varied!). No one is going to put you down for having a relationship with your cousin. It is most certainly NOT a "huge taboo" within an average UK family or anywhere else in the UK.

A few cultures and countries do have a problem with you having a relationship with your first cousin. In some, it's illegal. However, there are a greater number of cultures and countries when it is perfectly legal, and some of them positively encourage it.

I wasn't aware of any religious issue in having a relationship with your first cousin. As far as I know, most religions don't see it as a problem.

There is only one issue here that I can see, and one which most of the other replies have complete avoided: do you love each other? Sure, sex is great, but it's very much better between people who really love each other and intend to stay together. Maybe it's a slightly old-fashioned viewpoint, but I still reckon that it's not worth having sex unless you have a solid, stable, loving relationship. Yes, I know, someone will point out that I haven't always kept to that "rule" myself, but I can assure you from experience of both casual and loving partners that the casual ones just weren't worth it. 16 is legal in the UK, but still very young. Think carefully before you rush into it - and remember that although your family may not be upset because you're cousins, they will almost certainly be upset if they find out you're having sex with anyone at 16 (even if they did it themselves at that age - that's just the way most parents and relatives are).

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A female reader, Ratshead Australia +, writes (31 July 2008):

The Sport of Queens! (and Princes!)

Queen Elizabeth of England is married to her cousin!

who cares?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008):

My first cousin and I were close friends growing up but never more than that. After high school we both got married and raised families, you know the ususal thing. That included divorce. He and I met again after 18 years and though we didnt start out to fall in love we did. Many of the taboos in todays society have fallen by the wayside, and believe it or not our kids were happy we began seeing each other and then eventurally getting married. we are very much in love and we often joke with each other that we should have allowed nature to take its course back in highschool. We feel we wasted alot of time.

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A female reader, higher_form_of_chaos United States +, writes (20 June 2008):

I checked this site out and the questions that it has to offer because I am currently pregnant and in love with my cousin. I have read on here by some it is morally wrong and what not. However, when we started our relationship over two years ago we had no idea that we were family. It just kind of took off from there and we fell in love. Finding out that we were first cousins did nothing to change the fact that we loved and still do love each other. Believe it or not, not everyone takes it in such a hard way. We no longer live in a world that is full of closed minded people. Since I found out that I was pregnant I have done a lot research to find out what risk my child is going to under-go. I dont think people realize that there are doctors out there that feel so strongly about this subject that they have done everything in their power to prove all those close minded people wrong and they have. Research shows that while we are a bit more in danger of having a disabled child the risk in itself is about 2 percent higher than with couples who have never met and have different genes. I dont think that people realize that back, way back in the old days not many people married outside of their family. It is a proven fact that if you trace your family history ck far enough you will see that even your family married within the ties of each other. Therefore, most people are distancely related in one aspect or another. I do not find it morally wrong at all. Maybe that is because I am living it, but how can you feel so strong about something and then just let it go because a few people in your life tell you that it is wrong. When I came out and told my mother that I was having a relationship with Kevin and that he was my cousin my mother asked me how I felt about that, I told her that everyday I fall more and more in love with him, and she told me that love is never wrong. Even now with being pregnant she is excited, and I will be the first to tell you that I was a bit weary of having a child but the gene specialist that I have seen told me that there is a 97 percent chance that my baby will be heathly. Therefore I am not so weary anymore.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008):

Don't worry about having sex with your cousin, There is no law against cousins having a relationship.

I having been having sex with my first cousin since I was 13 years old and she was only 10 years old (we're both 3 years apart) and we still do it now that I'm 19 years old, I have always used protection and not even once she said to me that she is pregnant.

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A female reader, dolla18 United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2008):

dolla18 agony auntHi, i know how you feel i truly do. Im in a relationship with my 1st cousin aswell. There is no reason why you shouldnt be together. Its not incest, an if its good enough for the royals in England then no-one should judge you. Some of the religons agree with it aswell, infact some of them insist on it.

If it feels right for you then give it a try, an if it dont work out you can always say that you tried, because if you dont you may always be wondering what if, an end up regreting it?

Good luck to you both....give us an update an let us all know how you get on....xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008):

There is no legal law in the UK that stops you from having sex with your cousin. You are both overage, and legally able to decide to have sex with whoever you want.

However their may be social and moral reasons why this is not a good idea. You say nothing of love, caring or trying to make a relationship with her. If this is just sex to you, she may feel hurt and used. You may hurt her and break her heart. You also share family in common. They may object to you both starting a relationship together based purely on sex.

Remember this girl is your cousin. You should be taking care of her and looking after her. You will have to see her probably for the rest of your life. Do nothing that may hurt your relationship in the future, as it may make family occasions difficult to bear.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008):

Two years ago, when I was 9, I went on a family holiday my cousin, Frank. Even though I was young I felt really attracted to him. When I was putting suncream on his back I got an erection. At the time, I was still discovering my body, and didn't think any more of it. Last week, my cousin came round again to see my family.

While everyone was by the pool, me and my cousin were alone in the snug. He came over and sat next to me. The sparks were flying. We kissed and he ran his hand up my shirt, but my great-aunt sally came in and disturbed us. She looked at us queerly but said nothing.

In retrospect, I am glad that nothing more happened as it would be odd and wrong. On the other hand, it may be something of a family trait. After all, my sister is my mother.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2008):

I don't see a problem with cousins having sex. I've been intimate (love that phrase) with my cousin many times and neither of us are remotely messed up or freaked out. In fact it made us closer. It's okay as long as you realise it's just sex and nothing more. Taking it further could, would, cause trouble in the future.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

i would like to point out that when it comes to issues re reproduction (regardless of the scientific reserach cited by the respondents above) the chances of genetic mishaps are quite low. The misunderstanding came from family studies wherein cousin relations ('incest') occurred over may generations... in small country towns. Present reserach shows clearly that previously held (mis)conceptions were hugely exagerated. In most cases, the chance of something going wrong is no more than would be in any community where two people come together through common friends. Hence, I would say, if evolution sees no wrong with it, then it can't be so bad can it?

To the merit of prior respondents, the consequences in terms of rejection from your family and friends are in FACT huge... so think before you act.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008):

I would do it. I had an oppertunity like that with my cousin and I didn't take advantage of it and i regret it every day.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

Well in some cultures it is ok to have sex and even marry your cousins... my aunt and uncle did it and their kids, my second cousins, have turned out fine one is a model and the other got a scholorship to Stanford.

But you are 16 and you don't want kids i know. I was just saying that to make you feel better.

If its just for shits and giggles go for it. Id keep quiet about it though. If you guys fall in love and want to get married do so and then move away. lol.

If word gets out you are facing a lot of rejection from people especially your family so be prepared for that. But if you really want to do it with her do it. However if you are just horny I'd suggest finding someone easy at school?

I know that is an asshole thing to say sorry.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008):

ok i like my cousin ight i dont know y but i do we ended up making out and having sex but we are only 12 both of us right but we really didnt do it we still had our pants on ok i mean i did get a little crazy and i was screaming b/c we wanted 2 freak out our older cousin 13 yrs old it was fun so i say u should do it wit ur cousin if u want

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008):

Sorry, that's gross. I'm sure you can find a girl who doesn't share part of your genetic code to have sex with

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

If you are both only 16, and you both want to have sex with each other, then go for it. You only live once, so you might as well enjoy life. Also, this probably won't last forever, you are both only 16 and will grow and change a lot over the next 5-10 years. I think the chances you will be together forever are pretty slim.

Also, a lot of people forget that President Theodore Roosevelt and his wife were cousins, and they married each other with no negative consequences. So I say for go for it. Post back here if you decide to have sex with her so we can all see how it turned out.

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (4 February 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntSOrry..but I didnt finish...

Number three. What if you fall in love? What if its so good, you can’t resist going back to it and really messing up your life with not only a potential child, but the shame and everything I just described as the first two reasons.

Number four. If this ever gets out it will follow you like a stain on your record. People will point at you and laugh. They will assume the worst of you knowing what you have done. You can be rejected by friends and potential friends if they know you have had sexual relations with your cousin. Kissing Cousins is not a romantic notion...its a stain on YOU and HER. Its called incest. In this world its not a good thing.

Number five. And Excuse my French, but this relationship can fuck you up inside forever with every sexual relationship you have after. How? You don’t want to know. But your psychiatrist can help you sort it out in the future.

Notice I didn’t mention religious reasons…Those are valid too but I’m not pushing it. But if you want my opinion you are going down the wrong path. Nip this in the bud and do not pursue this. If you do, you are in a world of pain ahead of you. You may think this is cool and fun now, but when you wake up in the morning your going to find out it wasn’t worth it.

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A female reader, Cherriepie United States +, writes (4 February 2008):

Cherriepie agony auntHi hunny!

I have pretty liberal views on sex, but even I would have to say doing it with a first cousin is a big mistake. And let me tell you that this has nothing to do with religion or old traditions. It simply is an unhealthy relationship in every sense of the word. How? Lets count the ways...

Number one. Its a proven scientifically that babies born from siblings and first cousins have a high risk of having birth defects and mental disorders. Of course you dont plan on having a baby...but accidents do happen, and this is one accident you dont want to face.

Number two. This is a huge taboo in the family structure. You may keep this a secret for now, but what if it ever gets out? This could shatter your relationship with your parents and hers, and will and should cause you great shame, if you have any sort of conscience, religious or not. Not only will it shame you and her, it will shame your family too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

Ok, well let me start by saying that I went through something similar, I'm a girl and my cousin, also my first cousin, didn't grow up together so when we met for the first time we looked at eachother like cousins aren't supposed to I had a romance with him and the family started to notice that shit was going on, so we kind of stopped, and then every moment we would get to spend together we cherished, well let me cut this short, we never had sex, but we fell in love, we almost did make love one time, but I backed off and said it was wrong, but don't just have sex with your cousin cuz you want sex, that's not right. If you love her and she loves you do it, but don't do it just for the fuck of it, you know? I mean she's family and you're gonna have to see her whether you want to or not, it might be awkward after, who knows but really think about this before you make a rash decision ok. I hope I helped.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008):

It'll make family reunions interesting......

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