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All the answers for "I don't know what to do when I'm on top".... Well they're not working for me! Help!

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Question - (8 August 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

Okay, I know there's loads of questions from girls out there asking "I don't know what to do when I'm on top", and theoretically the answers are pretty good. But they don't seem to be working for me. My boyfriend doesn't really mind, but he still ends up doing all the work even when I'm on top because if I try to move around on there at all he sorta moves with me, so really all we're doing is... swaying around... Which doesn't exactly make for a mind-blowing orgasm.

On the subject of orgasms - I can't. Well, not from someone else. I can make myself come in less than a minute on my own, so I know it can be done. My poor boyfriend has painstakingly tried everything - different positions, g-spot, clitoral, oral... even if I show him the right places, it's no good. Help!

View related questions: g-spot, orgasm

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Emilysanswers - We do talk about it. A lot. I'm having sex with him because I love him. But thank you for the advice :)

I tried again yesterday and it was much better, I think it must be a confidence thing :S

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A female reader, Laura-x United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

I used to dread going on top but now i love it. Uv got to feel comfortable and relaxed and just let yourself go don't feel shy or embarassed. Tell him to sit still and go for it, just try different things like moving up and down slowly from top to bottom of his penis or try moving up and down fast ul soon see which he prefers. If you do it on your knees and your on a bed the bed usually helps you with your speed as it bouncy. But standing on your feet a bit like a frog is a good way too as you can control the speed. Try out everything you can think of and it will soon become clear which you both like best x

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

Why can't you talk to him about this? If you are too scared to say "show me how you want me to move" then you have to ask yourself why you are having sex with this guy.

Either that or when he starts to sway tell him to hold still. Tell him you want to do it for him. You could always move your hips backwards and forwards rather than up and down, that way you are rubbing your clit on his tummy and it will be better for you.

As for orgasming, it will take time but you will get there, you just have to be patient and let yourself go and stop expecting it.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntI know that not everyone would feel comfortable with this but...

With him lying flat on his back, get on top and get him "in" (if you see what I mean!!). Then do it to yourself.

... and if he still moves around in directions you don't want him to go, maybe you should be a bit more inventive. Tie him to the bed?!!

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (8 August 2008):

lexilou agony auntIf you're young enough with strong legs, then get him to lay flat, sit on top with your knees bent and your feet flat on the bed and lift yourself up and down, you can either face him or face away from him. If youre a bit older like me and your legs ache (!) you can still lift yourself by kneeling, put your hands on his chest and use that for leverage, not too hard or you'll break his ribs! Tell him to keep still until you get used to getting the rythm going then join in if he wants to. Another way is to get him to sit up, against the sofa is a good place or on a chair and sit on him that way. If your just sort of swaying around you arent actually going up and down which is what will give you the most pleasure x

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