A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I get my husband to be controlling in the bedroom? I want to be the miss and him be the master. But it seems like he don't want to control me, or make me do things to him, but that's the only thing that gets me off, and in the mood.Can anyone help me on advice?
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female
reader, charlie k +, writes (14 August 2008):
Have you ever dominated him? My partner gets really hot when I am controlling and it makes him reverse the tables and control me. You just have to know how to push his buttons, think about it, what do you think is going to make him so hot that his animalistic side comes out to play?
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 Tell him what you like. You have to explain it step-by-step so that he understands.
Control and domination in the bedroom is an area that is a great turn-on for loads of people, but those who haven't really considered it often have great dificulty in getting to grips with it properly.
Maybe you have to show him - be in control, and then say THAT's what I want you to do to me. "Power Exchange" often works very much better than one dominant and one submissive all the time, because if you can both "play" either role from time to time then it avoids the need for complicated explainations of what you really want. You just do it, and then say "do it to me next time".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTy Frank for your advice, but I fell if I don't get my satification from him, I feel like I need to go somewhere else.I always satify him
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 Dominating your husband will only further his inability and desire to dominate his wife.
-Frank
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, that what I been doing, but it don't seem to work.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (14 August 2008):
All nice guys are brought up to NEVER be controlling or demanding and to "force" a woman to do something is completely wrong. So when you say you want him to do that it's no wonder he's confused.
My friend had the same problem. Her boyfriend worshipped the ground she walked on so it was no wonder he never wanted to do anything rough in the bedroom. He was terrified of hurting her or upsetting her or anything like that. So she just started nibbling him and then biting him a bit too hard during foreplay until he's say ow and pin her down. When he saw how turned on she got from that he started to get the idea.
Dominate your husband a bit and push his boundaries, make him your slave and show him what is an acceptable demand to make. Show him a GREAT time. Then you can tell him it's his turn tomorrow and that he should think about all the things he wants you to do while at work, so he's ready when he comes home.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (14 August 2008):
Start slowly, and have him do things to you...TELL HIM WHAT YOU LIKE. Have a talk about your fantasies...get him to start spanking you, and take it from there. He is not a mind reader.
Now, if you have already told him, and he still does not want to do it, he needs to understand that if he is not willing to satisfy your needs, perhaps a change in the nature of your relationship (being more open to seeing other people, swinging, etc..) might be in order. Just having the discussion might make him realize how important it is to you.
Perhaps going to a fetish event and let him see how much you love watching others do things you would like him to do to you.
My thoughts are with you.
-Frank B Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
male
reader, RuroKens +, writes (14 August 2008):
If you want, you could try to ease him into it. People are quick to dislike something until they get a little taste of it, if they like it, then they may love completely! So, I guess you should just take little steps, he may not know he may like it.
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