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Please explain sex / oral sex to me and give tips...

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *atalie_19 writes:

i have recently gotten into a relationship with a man a year younger than me.. we are really happy apart from the fact that he will surely expect me to sleep with him soon, altho he has put no pressure on me so dont get me wrong i really want to. but too b totally honest im unexperienced in sex, and have never even given a blow job.. can someone please give me step by step advice on how to show him a good time both with oral and full sex.. i dont want him to b dissappointed. thank you

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A male reader, Uncle Sneaker United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2008):

Uncle Sneaker agony auntFirst, he won't be disappointed.

If the relationship is right for both of you and you both know it's time for sex, then it may not be perfect first time but it certainly won't be a disappointment.

I think the most important thing to remember is that sex is FUN. Enjoy it. Laugh when it doesn't work quite as you expected, or when something goes wrong. Laugh WITH your partner, of course, not AT him.

You don't need step-by-step advice, because everyone is different. Anyone who tries to tell you "this is the way to do it" should be cheerfully ignored. Do what feels comfortable for you, and stop if it's obvious your partner isn't comfortable with it. Similarly, tell him if he is doing something that you aren't completely comfortable doing. Be sensual rather than sexual. Don't rush. Enjoy each sensation and let it linger. Touch, feel, taste, and savour every second. Try to sense what, where and how pleases your partner; explore his body and let him explore yours. Let him know what, where and how you like his touch - it doesn't have to be words; a sigh, a twitch, a wriggle, a shudder, all say far more than the words.

Concentrate on enjoying yourself and being in touch with his feelings - and it will all go beautifully.

Have fun.

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A male reader, ChiRaven United States +, writes (30 July 2008):

ChiRaven agony auntWe're not a "how to" site here, so don't expect explicit instruction. For that you're going to have to go somewhere else.

There are a lot of really clinical discussions about it, but if you want something a little lighter I recommend the Midwest Teen Sex Show ( There are episodes on a lot of topics. They don't go into a lot of detail, but do cover some of the basics. Episodes 5 (The First Time) and 14 (Oral Sex) would probably be of interest to you, although you might want to check out the others while you're there. Some of them also point you to a few other resources, like some obvious ones such as Wikipedia.

I need to tell you to get your parents' permission to visit that site (MTSS) if you're under 18.

Something not many first time couple do, but is probably a good idea, is to actually talk about it first. Sex, especially if both of you are relatively inexperienced, can be a pretty scary experience. Go ahead and admit it to each other. Reach some agreements on how you're going to proceed, like how the two of you can communicate with each other while you're actually doing it, to let the other partner know what's working, what feels good, and what feels bad. Face it ... neither one of you is a mind reader, and neither one of you has a real wealth of experience with sex. The best thing you could do for each other would be to set up some way to let your partner know what's going on. That way there are no misunderstands, no hurt feelings, no miscues, and a whole lot fewer frustrations.

You are embarking on what can be the start of a beautiful experience together. I assume that you've given it adequate thought and are really sure that this is for you ... something that you both REALLY want to do. And also that you've taken things like birth control into account. Do what you can to make it a good trip for both of you. You're on the right track with trying to do your homework ahead of time. But DO set up those channels of communication ahead of time and don't be afraid to use them. They just make a good thing better, and avoid a lot of problems.

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