New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login240440 questions, 1064511 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap


United States  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *rueLoveWaits2016 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *rueLoveWaits2016 a private message

*rueLoveWaits2016's Ratings

Rating: 7.8

123Next > [3 pages, 96 answers]

Brother got support, I got torn down?

Q.   When growing my dad was hard on both of us. When my brother got lectures, it was more of "I know you can do better". My lectures consisted of getting completely torn down, getting told I'd be obese (5'5, 135 pounds, no weight issues ever), that I ...

A.   2 September 2018: WiseOwlE He isn't an addict, he grew up in a very strict home. I know he loves me, but I'm puzzled as to why he did that to me. I still live at home atm and when I move out I will tell him how I feel. The scars are there today and there ar... (read in full...)

Toxic sibling or am I too sensitive?

Q.   Everyone has always told me that I'm too sensitive and what my brother does is normal sibling behavior. I can be oversensitive, but I'm really weary when my brother comes to visit. Its almost like he has 2 personalities, a nice one and a mean one. A ...

A.   14 August 2018: He has said all this in our adult years.... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to cut ties with former friends who let me down?

Q.   Two years ago I worked for a small company of approx 60 people and my colleagues were like family. We worked together, socialised together-it was very tight knit. Then unfortunately one of our clients gave us a project that went wrong. One of my...

A.   9 August 2018: Absolutely nothing wrong for not wanting them in your life. They seem to be only there when they need and when you need them, they fall off the face of the earth. Surround yourself w/people who will always support. I noticed it wore on my self ... (read in full...)

My husband asked my permission to flirt on text messages

Q.   My husband loves me a lot, he is extremely extrovert and would be friendly to everyone, but some time back he has been asking me permission to flirt only on text messages, nothing on phone or meeting,he has been honest with me too about his ...

A.   9 August 2018: That to me is a HUGE no no. You can be an extrovert w/out crossing your relationship boundaries. Soon he will ask you to go on dates them and then to sleep w/them.... (read in full...)

My family says I’m limiting myself by not going out as friends?

Q.   I have a bf, but I don't limit my social interactions just because I'm in a relationship. The other day a single guy asked me to a concert, just me and him. I see him when I gather w/family friends about once a year or so. Otherwise I rarely if ...

A.   2 August 2018: So just to add, I really don't think my family disapproves of my bf. They have always been this way, even before I met my bf. One time an old school acquaintance randomly messaged me on social media after more then 10 years of not even saying ... (read in full...)

I have a big decision to make

Q.   I'm at a crossroads w/my relationship and I am deeply torn. I love my bf and he is my best friend, but there is something I have to consider as well. Since he left college, he has been working a mediocre job in which I know he isn't happy (h...

A.   14 June 2018: We started working out together and have actually set a schedule. He is the one pushing for it and I don't have to hound him to work out.... (read in full...)

I don't want to lead her on, but I don't want to flat out reject her as I don't want to hurt her that way either

Q.   Dear all I need some advice. I met a girl online several months ago, as a language exchange. That was all I was looking for and her too i believe. We get along great and have learned a lot together. Our personalities are very similar, lots of ...

A.   26 May 2018: Just tell her it isn't working. From experience flat out rejection is a lot kinder then making some excuse. I say because when an excuse is made (for example "I'm not ready for a relationship"), that leaves things open, the other person will hope ... (read in full...)

Is online dating worth the effort?

Q.   So I have been trying to make sense of this... does online dating is worth the effort? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent p...

A.   7 April 2018: Yes I found my current bf online and know several other people I know found their partners there as well. You need to be active, I would spend a little bit everyday looking through profiles and messaging lots of guys. Online dating doesn't just ... (read in full...)

Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?

Q.   After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...

A.   4 April 2018: My biggest concern is him getting away w/doing the bare minimum out of convenience for himself. ... (read in full...)

His neediness bothers me. Should I feel guilty for blocking him?

Q.   Okay so I've only known this guy for 2 months only, he is at my university. He seemed nice at first and we hang out together, but then he started to creep me out with his neediness and him being too clingy. I was nice with him and i gave him hints ...

A.   2 April 2018: Don't feel bad, this guy seems very creepy. Normal people do not act this way. I used feel guilty doing that to clingy people, but now I don't. I've blocked creepy guys because it made me super uncomfortable. From now on always watch whats going ... (read in full...)

I wish I could find a big "jock" guy to treat me as this man does.

Q.   Hi, am a 59 year old single woman, been dating this guy for five months, but am very busy, he wants more, but I don't have the time, we have fun one night a week, I haven't introduced him to family or friends, he comes on real strong,you know, ...

A.   19 March 2018: If you keep w/your line of thinking, you will end up miserable. Relationships aren't all about your fantasy. What you want a jock guy who will prob treat you like crap and won't even? If you don't start treating him right, he will leave. If you ... (read in full...)

I always recognise my boyfriend's birthdays but he never recognises mine.

Q.   Hello, I'm currently in a one year long distance relationship. Though I saw him a month ago for two weeks. I bought him gifts and paid for most of our lunches or dinners together. He didn't get me a gift or paid for lunch or dinner. I know I ...

A.   16 March 2018: N91 is absolutely correct, he isn't interested. A guy doesn't have to spoil you w/monetary items, but he should make you feel special on your birthday and other holidays. I dated a guy long distance for a short period of time, I put in all the ... (read in full...)

Bf doesn't want to come to my graduation ceremony. Is this an indicator that our relationship is not worth my while?

Q.   My boyfriend of one year does not want to come to my graduation ceremony, and honestly I'm pretty upset but don't know what to do. I don't want to force him, and i just dropped the subject. so I don't know what to think of our relationship if he ...

A.   16 March 2018: Personally I do find the ceremonies boring. If my partner of loved one is graduating, I would gladly go to support them. Does he often not go to important events?... (read in full...)

He treats me like a friend, but gets catty when I talk to other guys

Q.   I've been talking to this guy and he shows interest but then he acts like we're just friends and gets jealous when I talk to other guys, I like him too but I want to know why hes being catty? If that what it even is, ...

A.   16 February 2018: If he knows you like him, but chooses to keep you as a friend, talk to other guys and pay no attention to him. If he liked you, he would make an effort. Instead he is keeping you from other guys so that he has a fall back.... (read in full...)

A girl I chatted with online started telling me all of her fetishes. Should I meet her?

Q.   Ok so a few hours ago I started talking to a girl on tinder. Within minutes she started talking in quite sexually explicit terms, mainly centred around her foot fetish. I admit I was intrigued and played along. The conversation moved onto whatsapp, ...

A.   30 January 2018: If you are that uncomfortable, do not meet this girl. You can just block her on your phone.... (read in full...)

Exams and dating are conflicting

Q.   I know this guy who's 2 years older than me. We used to hang out while doing projects and event planning but recently I stepped away from all that because my GCSEs are this year. I need to take some time off. Earlier this year he had asked to meet ...

A.   28 January 2018: 3 weeks is a long time not text someone, then again I can understand hesitation on his end. Not saying you are making excuses, but he may think that because a lot of people will do that so they don't have to reject someone.... (read in full...)

He is very confused, should I give up?

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old homosexual guy. two months ago I met a guy on Skype (who lives not so away from me). At first we talked like friends, but then we started flirting and now it seems that we like each other very much. we talk on Skype...

A.   26 January 2018: Do not wait on him. I've been there a couple times, all it that was a waste of time and emotions. Whenever a guy is confused, he isn't interested.... (read in full...)

Contact him? Or jut move on?

Q.   So, I was texting a guy that I met online for a few days. He asked for my number and we continued texting and then he asked to meet a few days after. We set to meet the next day, Friday at 5:30pm for coffee. Friday comes and I texted him asking him ...

A.   26 January 2018: Yes move on and don't talk to him again. Very disrespectful to try to make you run around waiting for him. Next...... (read in full...)

Is it mean to ghost someone who is nice but you just don't want to see anymore?

Q.   Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a ...

A.   20 January 2018: Please don't ghost him, that is super hurtful. If he has treated you well, you need to tell him the truth. Yes telling him will be hard, but at least you will spare him more hurt then just ignoring him.... (read in full...)

Why did he block me? Was it because I didn’t have sex with him?

Q.   Hey guys.. I randomly met this guy last week and as soon as I saw him, I liked him. He seemed shy and I could tell he was into me but I knew he wouldn't ask me out, so I did. He took my number and he asked me to dinner on Saturday. Well he knew how ...

A.   18 January 2018: Do not spend another moment stressing over this. Earlier when I started dating online last year, a couple guys did the same thing to me because they figured I wasn't there for sex. They weren't truthful and would just end up ghosting me.... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling inadequate?

Q.   Ever since I was little, I was always in my older siblings shadow. I've healed a lot, but I still find myself inadequate compared to their successes despite having my own. I was always compared, sibling has a better social life, higher education, ...

A.   5 January 2018: Thank you Honeypie, just recently I started feeling somewhat ok w/myself. Hearing that stuff from my parents was/is painful and there are days where I feel extremely inadequate, esp thinking abt my siblings accomplishments over mine.... (read in full...)

Why would he trust me in a short time?

Q.   I recently started talking to a guy in a dating site. We've been calling and and texting for days now and we talk non stop. He told me that i was the person he was looking for all his life, we talk about everything. He told me that some personal ...

A.   4 January 2018: I absolutely agree w/honey pie. After doing extensive online dating, I learned to stay far far away from guys who use such flattery from the beginning. I've had 2 opposite situations unfold when a guy used such flattery. The 1st was the guy ... (read in full...)

Does he want to be friends because of his financial situation? Or he wants to date others?

Q.   Hi This is a question for the guys. My boyfriend was released from prison about a year ago, and he is struggling to get on his feet. I don't have the amount of money that he really needs to be established again, so I just help out when I can. I ...

A.   4 January 2018: Asking to be friends and making the excuse that he needs to get his life together is a brush off in regards to you. When you love someone, you will do anything and everything possible to be w/them. I've been there a couple times w/guys and all ... (read in full...)

Am I asking too little of him?

Q.   I have posted before and thankfully we solved a little issue in our relationship. This may be hella stupid for me to be resentful of how he treated his ex, but I kind of am. Idk how true this is, I'm only hearing his side of the story, but ...

A.   9 December 2017: Allumeuse The reason for rides issue isn't that I can't do it myself, its because its nice to have a partner who goes out of his way once in awhile. I am willing to take the bus to his place, but I wouldn't mind having a lift once in awhile. Btw I ... (read in full...)

I have these gut feelings she's cheating so how do I figure out what I do?

Q.   I'm a female in a relationship with another female. I have trust issues due to previous infidelities in past relationships. I know that it's unfair for me to question her when she's done nothing wrong, but, honest to god, I can't help it. I feel ...

A.   28 November 2017: You are going to drive her away. I dated a guy like that and I left after a month. He always accused me of talking to other guys, not being interested in him and always whined about something. Yes you can have a gut feeling, but there is also ... (read in full...)

Why would he not see me in 2 months then turn around and say he loves me loads?

Q.   hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happens now recently iv not ...

A.   22 November 2017: He uses you for sex and flatters you so he can keep you for sex. Simple as that.... (read in full...)

Is online cheating okay?

Q.   OK! I found out that my boyfriend of 8 years has been going on adult dating sites looking for women to hook up he'd say he hopes they can come over see I'd stay at my daughters sometimes and baby sit. is cheating OK if there's no actual contact ...

A.   13 November 2017: Def not ok in my book, I wouldn't want my bf having contact w/random online women and he wouldn't want me doing that w/other dudes.... (read in full...)

I'm dating someone who has a twin brother and when the brothers and the sister-in-law get together, they make me feel very left out

Q.   I have been dating an identical twin for the last 4 years. We have been doing well except when it comes to spending time with his brother and his sister in law. When we are all together, I am always to one that is left out. I always get left out of ...

A.   31 October 2017: That is an awfully strange situation. Personally I would be hurt and offended if he said I had nothing in common w/the group. If he did care about you, he would make the situation easier for you to fit in. If this continues, leave, don't be w/a ... (read in full...)

A guy keeps sending me mixed signals.

Q.   Last month I met a guy, he's a friend's(F1) friend's(F2) friend.. We were a few girls and him. We had dinner and drank alcohol so we were all kinda drunk. F1 would continuously tell me that she feels like this guy is coming on to me really strongly ...

A.   29 October 2017: I agree with anonymous123, if a guy likes you, there are no mixed feelings. Usually if a guy gave me mixed signals, he was never interested in me in the 1st place. I have never give signals, I always either reject or respond positively to a guy. ... (read in full...)

Why was he was so mad because I answered his phone?

Q.   Hi. Last night my bf got so mad at me and left my place at 2 am. He fell asleep on the couch while I was watching a movie, around 130 am I noticed on his phone maybe like 10 phone calls then like 10 messages, his phone is always in silence so he ...

A.   24 October 2017: I would not be happy if someone answered my phone w/out my permission, my phone is my own private thing. I can understand why he is mad.... (read in full...)

Can he be a sucess when he neglects everything around him?

Q.   Need opinion on this person. Thank you? Can ignorant, careless and not taking care of self person going to be succeed? Please give example and opinion? Do you believe ignorant, stupid, and not take care of himself person can be succeed? Is ther...

A.   24 October 2017: No I do not believe someone like that can make a good partner. I dated a guy who didn't take care of himself. He was constantly broke, was unhealthy and really had no motivation whatsoever. That reflected onto the relationship we had, he never ... (read in full...)

We exchanged numbers but now I'm turned off by him

Q.   I haven't been out in the dating world for a long time. Recently I have been chatting here and there with a guy doing construction at my place of work, seemed like a nice guy, cute, I felt comfortable talking with him. So he asked me for my phone...

A.   17 October 2017: Just move, you will meet quite a few weirdos out there when dating.... (read in full...)

How can I gauge how much he loves me?

Q.   Guys help please.. What does it mean when he says he thinks of me sometimes all day? I am trying to figure out how he feels i guess... I know i am in love with him pretty much and i think of him everyday all day see.... Now that would mean that well ...

A.   17 October 2017: WiseOwlE has it right. I no longer go by what a guy says, usually if I feel loved, I know he is doing something right. I dated a guy long distance for a very short while and when he moved back home, he barely texted me. I got sick of this and ... (read in full...)

I'm struggling with wanting more attention from him through texts!

Q.   So I have posted about this previously, but I’m starting to get that feeling of neglect again.  I feel terrible as I know my bf is working very hard and I hate asking him for more attention.  The situation hit a breaking point a couple weeks ago, he ...

A.   14 October 2017: Thank you for all the advice! I def do not over text and sometimes let 5 or so hours go by, allowing him to concentrate on his job. I'm also never one to have lengthy text convos in the morning or at night. Today I did pull back, he noticed ... (read in full...)

It was going great and now she has stopped responding ... I guess its over!

Q.   Hello everyone! A few months ago I started exchanging Facebook messages with a girl I knew in high school about ten years ago. I'm 30 and she's 29. Things went really well and she agreed to meet up as soon as we could (she was moving back to h...

A.   12 October 2017: Do not initiate again. I would leave it as this kind of behavior is not worth your time. If she was interested, you would know.... (read in full...)

My ex cheated on me, it took me 2 years to get over him and now he wants to try again

Q.   At what point can you be sure you have forgiven someone for hurting you, and take them back? 3 years ago my then boyfriend of nearly 2 years left me for someone else. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did. I never really forgot he...

A.   12 October 2017: Forgive him, but don't forget what he did. Do not take him back esp since his cheating affected you so much, you have healed and moved on, no reason to let him hurt you again.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is afraid of my beauty and that I will leave him!

Q.   My boyfriend said he's scared of my beauty and is afraid I will leave him.what do I do to prove I won't and he doesn't take me out, prefers me staying indoor with him is dat y?. And I love this guy so much and it hurts me anytime he saids dat..pls...

A.   10 October 2017: If a person is that insecure, there is nothing in the world you can say/do that will make him secure. He will completely control you if you don't leave.... (read in full...)

I think a year is a long time to wait for him ...

Q.   So, ive been seeing this guy for a few months now he's a couple years older than me (being 25), when we first started speaking in july and from that point i thought it was going to be more of a friendly kind of relationship as he didn't seem my type ...

A.   6 October 2017: He does not want a relationship w/you, just sex. If he wanted a relationship, you would be in one together. Never trust a man's excuses for not committing to you because they are all BS.... (read in full...)

I deserve better than to be ghosted by someone that I thought cared about me

Q.   We were close friends (according to him) but our feelings for each other complicated things. He shied away from having a relationship. He told me he was scared to be a rebound, because his last relationship was a rebound and ended miserably. I was ...

A.   30 September 2017: I agree w/honeypie, don't hold in the bitterness, just learn from this. When someone lets you in like that and goes hot/cold, that can be incredibly painful. You def deserve better and if you continue to chase him, you will not catch him. When ... (read in full...)

What is going on? Are these just excuses?

Q.   After still feeling neglected, I told my bf exactly why I was feeling down. In the last couple of weeks I have noticed that I was initiating the messages, which is ok, but I feel like I'm pestering esp being the only one initiating Messaging was ...

A.   26 September 2017: Last week I actually pushed myself to get out there and went out a couple nights out of the week. He was very concerned about me going out w/out him, but I wasn't going there to flirt w/other guys, though I went the last I went out and felt kinda ... (read in full...)

What is going on? Are these just excuses?

Q.   After still feeling neglected, I told my bf exactly why I was feeling down. In the last couple of weeks I have noticed that I was initiating the messages, which is ok, but I feel like I'm pestering esp being the only one initiating Messaging was ...

A.   26 September 2017: I still take the bus, idk why he even brought that up. I understand people cannot text all day, had a guy like that and he wanted me to text all the time, like I couldn't go an hour w/out texting him. In the past I didn't feel this neglected. I... (read in full...)

*rueLoveWaits2016's friends

These are mutual friends, so *rueLoveWaits2016 has added them and they have added *rueLoveWaits2016!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft