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My boyfriend is afraid of my beauty and that I will leave him!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2017)
A female Nigeria age 18-21, *ortunistia writes:

My boyfriend said he's scared of my beauty and is afraid I will leave him.what do I do to prove I won't and he doesn't take me out, prefers me staying indoor with him is dat y?.

And I love this guy so much and it hurts me anytime he saids dat..pls I know I won't leave him..what do I do

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A female reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 United States + , writes (10 October 2017):

If a person is that insecure, there is nothing in the world you can say/do that will make him secure. He will completely control you if you don't leave.

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A female reader, fortunistia Nigeria +, writes (8 October 2017):

fortunistia is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks so much #chigirl, #N91, #youcannotbeserious and #honeypie. This is my first serious relationship dats y, And I was thinking it was because of the way his ex left him was the reason. And actually i haven't met any of his friends before but what surprised me was that he was willing to met my mom without me asking him to. I will try talking to him about it and see where it leads to.

Thanks so much

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (8 October 2017):

chigirl agony auntHe's not well in his mind, Im afraid. He tells you these things because he is insecure, and there is nothing at all you can do to fix it. There will never be anything you can do to help him understand, to help him trust you, or to make him feel happy about going out. He wants to cage you in, it sounds like. Does he allow you to go out and meet friends? If not, and if he gets jealous, you should leave! Because these are the first signs of an abusive relationship.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (8 October 2017):

N91 agony auntThis guy is showing signs of controlling behaviour already.

There's nothing you can do to convince him, he's either secure with your relationship or he isn't which clearly here he's not. You don't have to convince him of anything.

Just because he can't deal with the situation doesn't mean you should go along with it. I'd tell him either he gets over it and treats you like a proper girlfriend by taking you out and accepting that other people are going to find you attractive or hit the road. It's really not worth letting him drag you and your self confidence down by trying to hide you away.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (8 October 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSweetheart, you can't PROVE anything to someone as insecure and jealous as your boyfriend. Nor should you need to.

You are young. There is no saying this relationship will not run its course and you will not split up sometime in the future. It may even be due to him killing your love for him by his controlling behaviour.

Or is he just mean with money and uses this as an excuse not to take you out?

Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Surely not.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntWhat do you do?

You tell him that HIDING you away doesn't make you less pretty. That taking you out on dates or dinners, to the museums or park doesn't doesn't make you MORE likely to cheat or run off with someone else... Hiding you away and treating you like a "precious book" that needs to be kept under lock and key is a SURE way to PUSH you away.

Honey, He doesn't OWN you. And you don't HAVE to prove anything. Either he loves and trusts you, or he doesn't. If he doesn't he needs to walk away.

Being pretty is all well and good... but being a good person, smart, fun, caring, faithful, trustworthy person is WAY more important.

I think he is controlling and that is not a good sign nor does it show "great love" from his side.

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