A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I recently started talking to a guy in a dating site. We've been calling and and texting for days now and we talk non stop. He told me that i was the person he was looking for all his life, we talk about everything. He told me that some personal things about him and he told me that he wants to talk about his past but he's nervous because he might loose me and i might get a bad impression of him. Im not willing to share anything personal with him actually. But why would he trust me in a short time?? I asked him this question and he said that im a genuine person and he feels comfortable around me . Do you think it's weird to share personal info with someone you've known for days and actually never met? Should i believe him?
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female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (4 January 2018):
I absolutely agree w/honey pie. After doing extensive online dating, I learned to stay far far away from guys who use such flattery from the beginning. I've had 2 opposite situations unfold when a guy used such flattery. The 1st was the guy trying to get me to do sexual things w/all the flattery, he ended ghosting me when I set my boundaries.
The 2nd situation, the guy wanted to control me and thankfully I was able to shake him off. Be careful, I know how enticing this situation can be, but it can affect you emotionally. You cannot trust someone in such a short time, that's unreasonable, he doesn't know you. Another thing that can happen is the person paints a perfect picture of you and will be disillusioned once they meet you or they get to know you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 January 2018):
 Some people use it as a manipulation trick and it WORKS more than it fails.
Let's say YOU and I are getting to know each other. I know I am not the biggest "prize" out there but if I get you talking long enough you might bond with me, you might feel a NEED to "prove" me wrong. To show just how GOOD of a person YOU are, by NOT pushing me away.
If I told you that I had some deep dark past and I was scared you would hate me if I told you. You MIGHT (many people would) try and convince me that we have all made mistakes, that it's in the past... blah blah blah. Because we don't want the other person to FEEL bad or rejected again.
Telling you that you are "a genuine person and he feels comfortable around me" is the "lure" to get YOU feel good about the trust he is giving you and it will also potentially make you feel BAD for NOT overlooking whatever "bad stuff" he then brings up.
You don't know him. He doesn't know you. Should you believe him? No. Use common sense here.
It's a easy con.
It might also be that he ISN'T a manipulative person but desperate for a partner so he is RUSHING it by trying to make him a familiar person to you and not a stranger.
Pay attention to this fella. That is my advice.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (2 January 2018):
Where's the risk? It's a little different for guys unfortunately. Trusting a anyone is far less risky for a guy. This is the way the world should be but it isn't. He isn't in any way threatened by you. His guard is down. He doesn't feel like you knowing personal things about him is dangerous to him.
However if you don't trust him then don't dismiss it. An instinct like this can be difficult to understand but there might be something off you can't see consciously.
Perhaps he is offering you information about him so that you will feel obliged to reciprocate. Perhaps we are both over thinking this. It's not weird to be open with someone who you feel doesn't threaten you, but you should trust your instincts, not his.
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