A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last month I met a guy, he's a friend's(F1) friend's(F2) friend.. We were a few girls and him. We had dinner and drank alcohol so we were all kinda drunk. F1 would continuously tell me that she feels like this guy is coming on to me really strongly so she would intentionally get in between us often. I got his contact and when we left he texted me "hope you got back alright and see you next time".Three days later he texts me to offer me some free books he has lying around which I say I want and we text back and forth a bit. But his family was visiting so I couldn't get them yet. The next day I met F2 and she told me he had asked about me, asking "what was the name of the girl that I liked?" and "would it be okay if I ask if I can give her some books?" and she told me it seemed like he really liked me. Me and he texted a bit back and forth afterwards.But eventually I started think he'd had forgotten about the books so I asked him about them and we made plans for me to get them. Afterwards we agreed to eat together but he invited F2, she's pretty much his only friend here. It started raining and he automatically put the umbrella over me even though he knew I had my own (I told him earlier but I guess he could have forgotten). Another guy also joined us. It was a nice evening. Even though he talked more to the other guy, he constantly kept bumping into me with his arms even though he doesn't move them around when he talks. If I moves away then he would somehow move closer again. I've been trying to text him every now and then ever since but over text he seems extremely uninterested. He always says he's busy and tells me exactly with what,but never suggest other times or anything. Then one Friday I asked him if he had some time that day and he said he had to teach. I then askes F2 to hang out and we did, but the guy I like eventually showed up saying his clasa was cancelled ans he was very annoyed that he hadn't been notified. He hadn't said anything about it to me on chat just her. But now that he was here, all he did was talk to me. He barely spoke to F2. F1 joined us too eventually, they said hi, and he went back to mostly talking to me. I wasn't even trying to talk to him because I felt like he had made it clear that he wasn't interested. He also started actively touching me this day. Patting my shoulders, arm or resting his hand on my arm. Spreading his legs apart so his knees touched mine (I moved away intentionally a few times to see what he would do and he moved closer). I texted him once I got home, saying he confuses me etc and we spent 2 hours texting. I didn't talk to him at all after that trying to get over him as I clearly have a crush on him..This Thursday I ran into him, after not talking to him since Friday. I was going to meet someone else and I told him. Yet he kept insisting I join him. Eventually I did and he spent most of the night talking to me again. I ended up "stealing" his almost full pack of cigarettes. He kept begging for them back aand started doing a lot od things to just get one smoke. Almost completely ignoring the other two people we were with (F2 and the guy from the book receiving night). Today he was touching me far more actively, putting his arms around me, leaning on me etc. Once I got home I still had his pack of cigarettes.. I texted him to tell him that and then went to bed. The next day he texted me saying I owe him big time and to give it back. I told him he had to work for it and we texted back and forth a bit.Today (Saturday) I told him I should give him his smoke back and he told me to throw them away.I don't understand what's going on.. Does he like me..? Doesn't he..? He insisted so strongly I join them on Thursday.. He spends most of the time talking to me. But he doesn't seem to want to see me when I ask.. Should I just forget about him? I enjoy talking to him and I have a crush on him.. But he doesn't seem interested? Or is he but I'm missing something??
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female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016  +, writes (29 October 2017):
I agree with anonymous123, if a guy likes you, there are no mixed feelings. Usually if a guy gave me mixed signals, he was never interested in me in the 1st place. I have never give signals, I always either reject or respond positively to a guy. My bf told me he liked me and wanted a relationship w/me, didn't beat around the bush or play games.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2017): The best advice I ever got about dating is that if it’s not clear then the answer is: no, he’s not as interested as he needs to be for you to go forward. I took this advice,and I’m telling you I didn’t have these kinds of issues. Keep it simple and I’m hoping you won’t run into these issues anymore either.
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A
male
reader, PJ Roy  +, writes (28 October 2017):
Maybe you can ask yourself, "Am I the only girl whom he keeps 'guessing' the way he keeps me 'guessing'?"
My guess is, with the waiting-"three days"-before-texting-you-for-some-books thing, and, using F1 and F2 to ask about you... he's working to a script.
[ I'm pretty sure you already knew it, from the way you specified "three days"... you just wanted somebody else to say it outright, right? :) ]
My view:
1) he's doing something he's well versed at.
2) You are not the only one on his current list of potential mates, that's why he can afford to lure and 'release' you...
3) Maybe he was faking to not have caught 'your' name, but what does a guy mean that he likes a girl when he did not manage to remember what her name was?
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (28 October 2017):
 I have never understood this thing about playing games but one thing I've seen is that if a guy likes you then he'll make it crystal clear. You will never have to speculate or guess because the writing will be on the wall.
And so the big question now, does this guy like you?
I know this isn't the answer that you want to hear but probably not. He's just being friendly. He may be moody. Or maybe he talks to you when he has nothing else to do and is bored. He's attentive when he's with you but perhaps that's just how he is.
However, all said and done, if you're still interested then why don't YOU ask him out? At least you'll know where you stand. Why can't you make the first move? It might just work out! I say you should go for it!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (28 October 2017):
 He is playing games and you are playing games, but not the SAME game.
Is he interested? Yes, I would say that is he but interested in what? maybe a hook-up? maybe to make a new friend? Since you mentioned that F2 was his only friend, maybe he is trying to widen his circle.
Some being VERY tactile (as in touching a lot) doesn't always mean I got the HOTS for you - sometimes it's a matter of testing limits and "feeling" out the other person.
My advice? TREAT him as you would a friend. Stop being the one to ALWAYS text him. Pull back a little. Yes, it can be seen as "gameplay" - if he doesn't start to contact you, initiate contact then I'd lean towards he isn't all THAT interested. Also the kind of conversation you have over text... are they ANYTHING like the ones you have in person?
The fact that he was busy "touching" you in front of F2 and Book-swap guy might be him trying to "call dibs" without saying DIBS!!
Like I said, it's hard to say if he is trying to be super friendly or if he is interested in more. He might not even know.
I would, however... treat him as you would a friend. And stick with that for now.
GET to know him a bit more. Maybe he isn't REALLY the kind of guy you would want to date anyways.
The fact that he seems to decline when YOU ask him out but encourage you to come along with other FRIENDS - does suggest that he is wanting to be FRIENDS (not more) he's already had several opportunities to be solo with you and he avoided it. Again, if he KNOWS you are interested and he isn't... that is the kind of behavior you would expect.
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