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How can I gauge how much he loves me?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 October 2017) 10 Answers - (Newest, 17 October 2017)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Guys help please.. What does it mean when he says he thinks of me sometimes all day? I am trying to figure out how he feels i guess... I know i am in love with him pretty much and i think of him everyday all day see.... Now that would mean that well he not in love like i am see.... So idk why or how you all can think of someone sometimes all day if your not thinking of them everyday see.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI say, hold off on trying for a relationship until YOU feel you are worthy of love. Others can tell you that you are, but unless you FEEL you are it's not going to work.

Which means keep working on your issues and keep romance and sex out of the picture for now. IF he genuinely cares he will stick around for you to get as healthy as you can.

In your current state, you are too vulnerable to be dating, IMHO. No matter HOW nice and caring he is.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2017):

Yes he has already sAid the L word....And I have professional help... He likes to help me... He is not being forced..he really wants to help n helped more then thee professionals..

Building good memories is the only cure for the kind i have see... I hav a hard time understanding someone cares due to my past issues with abuse...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2017):

Hey everyone..

I am the poster of question here and did already post a reply to answer some questions and confusion... It is under female reader anonymous... I have ptsd due to past tramua...he is helping me. He tried to hav a relationship with me n showed lots of love.. My ptsd ruined it for now.. It is hard for me to see n feel someone cares for me.

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A female reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 United States +, writes (17 October 2017):

WiseOwlE has it right. I no longer go by what a guy says, usually if I feel loved, I know he is doing something right. I dated a guy long distance for a very short while and when he moved back home, he barely texted me. I got sick of this and approached him about how I was feeling. He told me I was on his mind all day, to myself I was like yeah right, he didn't even text me! That never lasted and neither did any guys who used pretty words w/no action. If you feel loved, you are, if not, he prob isn't showing you he cares.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAre you getting qualified help to work through this?

As much as a friend or loved one can help another person through things, maybe you also need to consider getting professional help?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2017):

I should add, don't pressure a man into telling you he loves you. Women always jump the gun on that. They want to hear the L-word; mainly because they think "feeling attached after a few dates" is being in-love. Don't angle for the word, don't bait him into it, and don't be dismissive of his affections; because that word doesn't always fly out of his mouth.

Love is better demonstrated and more real in how someone treats you; than echoing the word just so you can hear it.

Women need to learn how to reserve and pace their feelings until they see more definitive-actions; than hearing some slob tell them what they want to hear. Then let go of trust once he has gone out of his way to say, prove, and demonstrate it. If you can't trust a guy; he shouldn't even waste his time on you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2017):

I go by the actions and how someone treats me to tell just how close and real their feelings are.

Personally, I want people to feel at-ease around me. I like to gaze into your eyes. I like when my boyfriend gazes into my eyes. He always asks for my opinions. He never misses a chance to make physical-contact. Holds your hand, touches your arm, and lets you enter a doorway first. He falls asleep on your shoulder, in your lap, or snuggled-up close somehow. He grabs you from behind. He teases you!

Your phone rings unexpectedly; not always on schedule, or according to any particular routine. It's a phone-call, rather than a text.

He introduces you to his family and friends. Likes to make you laugh. Knows the weird things you like, and remembers the things you say. If he cancels on his friends to be with you; without you pouting, or trying to manipulate him into it. He likes to teach you how to do things. He likes to show you off.

Most importantly; believe you are worth his love. Be receptive to every effort he makes to earn your trust. If he tells you he likes the smell of your hair, loves your perfume, or brags about your cooking. Those things are very intimate to a man.

TylerSage is very correct. We are very simple.

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A male reader, TylerSage United States +, writes (16 October 2017):

TylerSage agony auntMen are very simple being. If I tell a girl I've been thinking about her all day that pretty much indicates that I like her. As for love, that's a different ballpark, something that needs to come from the horses mouth.

Don't stress it out just go with the flow. That day will come.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2017):

He has been helping me thro a bad time...i have ptsd really bad due to past abuse..it is truly hard for me to live let alone think n concentrate n understand someone cares too.. We have been talking daily with mostly him helping me for a year n half almost..we have not seen each other since march because i am terrified of males see n any close relationship with them see... I am in love with him!! I kno i am.. He is also all i had as my family left me for dead.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 October 2017):

Honeypie agony auntWords are words, just that.

Whether the words uttered are sincere, heartfelt, a deeper meaning etc. is impossible to say. UNLESS the ACTIONS of that person matches the words.

It's easy to say or text something sweet and sentimental because you KNOW you "score" points with the recipient. Doesn't mean they aren't truthful at the moment they are said but do they have a bigger overall meaning? Again... impossible to say unless it's backed up with actions.

In short... words are cheap.

But why can't you HAVE an ACTUAL conversation about how you both feel? Your age is tagged as 36-40... so you should have some experience with talking to someone about your feelings? Yes?

You haven't really written much about who he is to you and how long you have known him or how he told you this - which makes it a LOT harder to even begin guessing what's up with this statement and your question.

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