A
female
age
26-29,
*bbiedabbie
writes:So, ive been seeing this guy for a few months now he's a couple years older than me (being 25), when we first started speaking in july and from that point i thought it was going to be more of a friendly kind of relationship as he didn't seem my type at all, and he mentioned he was going travelling in december. Anyhow, few months on we've met up a few times, the first 2 times we never slept together as i rather get to know people first before going any further but he was absolutely fine with that although he did mention to me a few times how he has a high sex drive and how the ex before me did also, but that still didn't put me off as still at this point i wasn't too bothered, but recently we did spend a whole weekend together and things did happen, he has recently got a new job too so we work opposite shifts so we hardly see eachother but we text everyday near enough, but its only been recent where ive begin to question myself on my feelings with him, like they're growing but we both said from the start there will be no relationship because of him going travelling. So, at this moment im not sure whether to carry on and just not tell him as we'll only be spending over a month left together or think of future me and let him know how im feeling, but how do i explain? i've never been in this type of situation before, and a year is a long time to wait for someone because he could meet someone whilst travelling, i'm just used to his company that if i tell him this he could give a bad reaction but i dont want to hurt myself at the same time, please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2017): I might be old fashioned but I never slept with my husband until we were 3 years together. Okay , I was very young granted . 15 teen when we met so by 18teen I was ready . However, if I were to date now. And I have friends who are dating .. it seems to be the thing to whip your knickers of on date two .. and get it on and then not see them again .. Me, I wouldn't personally do this .. I would be wanting to be dating ( being sexual activity I wondering how long I'd last ) I would say 10 months before we did . With a view by then we would know we were more than bed hopping.. with lots of lovely stds back on the scene ( I work in medical) and lots of old stds coming back now with a vengeance.. HIV is back with stats showing higher infection rate . Because people seem to think they are safe . Get to know who your wife .. their sexual history . Being honest at my age I would asking them and myself to be tested .. and then tested before we did .. your sexual health is as important as your physical or mental emotional health do not risk it .. For some ass man who if he did wish to be with you .. would put his traveling on hold .. Take care sweetie
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016  +, writes (6 October 2017):
He does not want a relationship w/you, just sex. If he wanted a relationship, you would be in one together. Never trust a man's excuses for not committing to you because they are all BS.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (6 October 2017):
 You're wasting your time.
If he wanted a relationship you guys would be in one. He only wants something casual to fill the time until he goes away. I really couldn't imagine him not sleeping with someone for a year whilst he's away so it's honestly not worth it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (6 October 2017):
 He used your naivety to get you into bed. Meeting up twice before having sex isn't getting to know someone first. He mentioned his sex drive and you, sadly, fell for it.You won't be his girlfriend, even after travelling. You'll be his hook up until he finds himself a girlfriend who will likely refuse hook ups and make him charm her for a while first. Unfortunately, he charmed you immediately and now you're developing feelings he won't be.OP, he won't want to be attached while travelling because he'll most likely find someone like you to hook up with there too. That's why he wanted you for sex short term.It would be unwise to talk to him further, let alone hang out (as he'll encourage you to satisfy his libido again). Just block him and move on. You have now learnt you can't just hook up because, like most women, you build feelings when intimacy gets involved.The only way to avoid hurting yourself is to cut him off now. If you don't, I can guarantee he'll string you along because you're young and hopeful. Please, OP, don't think you're able to control this situation. He's using his age and experience to use you, then he'll drop you. He doesn't care if you wait for him, but he will *not* wait for you.
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