A
female
age
36-40,
*tarFish101
writes:Total dilemma. I've known this guy 'Michael' for about five years. We've been to uni together and become really good mates. We have the same sense of humour, like the same bands, he is without a doubt my best male friend. Both his mates and mine have told me on numerous occasions that he likes me as more than a friend and I think I like him too but it's all gone unsaid for over five years and now I feel like it's sort of too late. To make things even worse, his older brother 'Stuart' came into town a few weeks ago for a party. We all got drunk and me and 'Stuart' ended up kissing and getting quite heated. I think my friends have an idea what went on but I don't know if 'Michael' does. I really don't want to upset him as he is such a good mate and I really care for him but I now think I might have feelings for 'Stuart'. Am I just relishing the attention or am I seeing 'Stuart' as a replacement for what I could have had with 'Michael' if we weren't both too afraid to be honest with eachother?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (26 September 2007):
Obviously you don't really love Michael. Stop sending him mixed signals or you may break his heart.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2007): Hard one to call, You seem to not be a hundred percent on your feelings for this guy and thats where the problem lies. I think you need to ask yourself that hard question "how strong are your feelings for him ?", If you feel that strongly then you need to take a chance on telling him how you feel, i have quiet a few friends that were friends with there partners for years before things happened for them, and i dont think its a bad idea to know someone for five years as friend, it's amazing how new partners can turnout after a couple of years. The big fear it seems is losing a good friend if things go wrong, but the way things are at the moment the un-resolved issues between you could cause just as may problems for you friendship. so start with how you feel, then talk to him about it.
The brother thing sounds like a way of not dealing with the problem as you know can tell yourself i cant because of this.
Personally it sounds like you really like this guy, but are scared stiff of telling him which is understandable, but as they say you have to take a chance to be happy
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