A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy online 3 months ago. I found out three weeks after we met, through FaceBook, that he has a "fiance," four kids and she's pregnant again. When I confronted him about it, he didn't deny it, however never speaks on it. And demands I don't bring it up. We've physically gone to first base a few times. However, we have not had sex. Lately, our conversations has been circling around getting together to have sex, put every time I put him off and suggest I'm not interested and he should look elsewhere, he keeps coming back. What is it that is stopping him from leaving me alone? Would I be wrong for sleeping with him?
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facebook, fiance, first base Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (27 February 2011):
 I wouldn't send her anything. Like I said, don't get involved in all that drama. Just let it be their problem and not yours
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 "Would I be wrong if I sent his fiance' a message on Facebook about his acts or is it possible she already knows?" Just leave it alone. Chances are good his fiance already knows. Going forward I wouldn't think about this guy because he doesn't sound like a positive influence. I wish you all the best!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 February 2011):
Send nothing. Just let it go, for the same reasons that I wrote before. Everyone will judge you more harshly than him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk I get it, Ditch him! Would I be wrong if I sent his fiance' a message on Facebook about his acts or is it possible she already knows? Any more advise would help me to push the send button or let it go. Thank you all for the comments!!!
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A
female
reader, Miss.Knowitall +, writes (26 February 2011):
 That would be sick of you. Tell him to grow up and go back to his kids and future wife. It is SO wrong for him to want to cheat. Even worse for you to willing be the one he cheats on with. If i was you I would go save his poor fiance from marrying a cheater.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (26 February 2011):
"What is it that is stopping him from leaving me alone?" I don't know the answer to this question but I bet you're not the only one he's not "leaving alone". Get a different hobby other than these "conversations" the two of you are having.
"Would I be wrong for sleeping with him?" You will get hurt emotionally. You could catch a disease. Jealous violent fiance? etc. Catch my drift?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 February 2011):
 He keeps coming back because you let him. You keep answering him, and the way you express your rejection probably is not assertive enough to convince him that he has no chances with you and he is wasting his time. Maybe he thinks you are being coy.
A stronger message would be simply ignoring his messages, and even better blocking him on I-net and phone.
Yes, it would be wrong to sleep with him. How would you like it if you were a pregnant mother of 4 and you knew there is a hirl who is having a steamy affair with your fiance' ? Don't do unto others...
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A
male
reader, Kilcardy +, writes (26 February 2011):
I'm sorry, but you're in your 30's and you still don't know if it is wrong to sleep with a guy who is engaged to someone else and with whom he has 4 children? Really? You don't know if that's wrong or right? Ok, so be it. Yes, it's very wrong to do that, ok?
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (26 February 2011):
Yes, you would, and you know it. Don't settle for being the other woman. This guy might be marrying this woman because he's gotten her pregnant (repeatedly) and he's looking for outlets with less commitment. Tell him to take a hike and ignore his message. If you have to, block him on facebook. Don't get involved.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 February 2011):
Yes, you would. It would be a very damning statement about who you are if you participated in screwing up a family, which is what you are doing. 4 kids, and another one the way? Would you really want to screw that up. Because when it comes out, believe me you will be the person who takes ALL the blame, whilst he gets none. Any reputation you have as a good women will be left in the gutter, and you'll turn 40 wondering why your life has been left in tatters.
No one likes a cheat. But people usually like the willing mistress a lot, lot less.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): re-read you own question.
Surely you can answer this one yourself?
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