I made a mistake by cheating and boyfriend met someone. How do I get him back?
Q. Hi all. Two years ago today I was dumped by my ex. We both did things to each other. I accept I made him insecure by constantly flirting with attractive guys when we went out, and by flirting on dating sites (which he always found out about). I did ...
A. 5 March 2013: Yes - we HAVE told you what to do. LEAVE HIM ALONE. Many others have repeated it here yet you still cannot accept that.
Again, LEAVE HIM ALONE. That is clear, concise, and contains no ambiguity.
Not sure what else you need, but I can tell y... (read in full...)
I made a mistake by cheating and boyfriend met someone. How do I get him back?
Q. Hi all. Two years ago today I was dumped by my ex. We both did things to each other. I accept I made him insecure by constantly flirting with attractive guys when we went out, and by flirting on dating sites (which he always found out about). I did ...
A. 3 March 2013: You need to leave him alone. Of all my relationships, only one girl I dated cheated on me - although she never had the courage to admit it, but I knew it with 100% certainty. Of all my relationships, she is the one I think about least and would ... (read in full...)
Can you please suggest some advice on productive and positive things I can do to deal with how I'm feeling about this betrayal?
Q. I posted a few months ago when I found out that the girl I'd spent three years talking to on the phone had sent me photos of someone who wasn't her. In the end, I kept digging, and found that things went a lot deeper. I ended things, but things w...
A. 3 March 2013: The best thing I can tell you is that human beings are not designed to form relationships via electronic means. I have know very few relationships (read none) that have been successful starting over the internet when the people werent initially in ... (read in full...)
I just want to be friends. So why do guys keep on developing feelings for me? How can I stop this happening?
Q. I'm studying engineering so it's ALL GUYS and I'm not a hermit or anything, so I try to make friends. And I LIKE having friends I can talk to about nerdy things like Linux and Firefly, I mean, most other people don't get it. But the guys ALWAYS e...
A. 3 March 2013: You are in a field which is overwhelmingly dominated by men. When one finds a woman in which there is a common ground, naturally one thing follows another.
I now own a business in a woman dominated field. I get the same thing all the time. I... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke up with me. I'm feeling lost and upset and she won't talk to me
Q. Hi, Thanks for reading this, I really need some advice. My girlfriend of 1 year and a half has just split up with me. We have an amazing relationship, before christmas everything was perfect. One night before christmas, we were at her house an...
A. 3 March 2013: Some of the moments of my life I regret most are the ones I spent upset over a break up. You need to forget her and move on asap. Trust me, any minute you spent wallowing will be just a moment of your life truly wasted. ... (read in full...)
The man I'm supposed to marry in 2 months has been cheating on me!
Q. I need help. I love my fiance and he loves me. We have been together for seven years. I recently found out he has been flirting on his job sites and got a girls number and was texting her. And he hit on a friend of ours. He keeps telling me how ...
A. 3 March 2013: You are in the rare position of knowing some very valuable information before you make the most important decision of your life. You really know everything you need to know about him. Thank your personal God you learned BEFORE you got married.
... (read in full...)
How can I get my mother to let me stay with my boyfriend at his father's house?
Q. Hi!! Well I'm 19 years old, I'll be 20 in few months, and my bf of 2 years is 22 and we both attend to the same college. My mother has always been overprotective, and she's very strict with permissions. Maybe you'd say I'm old enough to decide w...
A. 2 March 2013: When you support yourself, you can do anything you want. When others support you, you have to do as they say. The cost of freedom....... (read in full...)
Is my husband's honesty admirable or despicable?
Q. My husband told me that he loves me, but he's not attracted to my body, anymore. He said he just wants to be honest with me. He really isn't trying to be mean, and he's not saying it in a demeaning way. Specifically, he wants me to tone my body....
A. 2 March 2013: He is being honest with you. Perhaps some prefer being lied to, but I cannot understand why someone would want that.
Yes - we all change over time, but the change he is talking about is something a little hard work could do something about. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend gives her phone number out to other guys and texts them!
Q. My Girlfriend and I have been dating for about two months now. I dont talk to any other girls but she talks to other guys. what pissed me off to get mad at her and write this was she said something like "why wont this guy leave me alone, I dont want ...
A. 1 March 2013: If your gf gives out her number to other guys, I have a news flash for you - you dont have a gf........ (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been reading stories about incest and beastiality. Should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend has been reading stories about incest (father/daughter) and stories about girls having sex with dogs, I don't know what this means or if I should even worry about it. Help?...
A. 1 March 2013: Reading about is fine. Obsessed with is a very different thing....... (read in full...)
Why won't my amazing, lovely wife have sex with me with the lights on?
Q. My wife is amazing in bed,even after 20+ years together,3 kids I still think she has a fantastic figure,the only problem is she still won't have sex with light on,let me me see her naked or have sex in daytime,I keep telling she's got a lovely ...
A. 26 February 2013: She has some issue with her body. Despite how you see it, she is afraid you will see this issue the way she does, so she hides it.
My suggestion to you, tell her how hot you think she is. It costs you nothing, is not lying, and only makes he... (read in full...)
He's kicked me and threatened to hit me. Will he improve? Is this relationship worth saving?
Q. I am in a committed relationship since 3 years and 7 months. The first 3 years we were in a LDR. Now we both stay in the same city. My bf sometimes behaves very badly with me because he feels that I control his life. I said its nothing like tha...
A. 26 February 2013: You cheated on him. He has violent tendencies. Now, what possibly could go wrong with this relationship?... (read in full...)
What can I do about the double standards in my family? All my siblings are adults, yet as the eldest more is expected of me.
Q. I hate being the eldest. If my siblings want me to do a favour, I get screamed and yelled at. But if I need a favour from my siblings, my parents don't care at all. They tell me it's my problem and instead yell me to shut up. I'm sick to bit...
A. 26 February 2013: Its part of being the oldest. Similarly, Im sure there are/were benefits you received as well by being the oldest that you are failing to mention here.
... (read in full...)
Some thoughts on retroactive jealousy
Q. I was thinking about my wife's past (again) and experiencing retroactive jealousy. I'm trying to root this out of me. It is the wise thing to do. Anyhow, I want to know what others going through this think of what I'm about to write. Recen...
A. 26 February 2013: Female anon - I dont know how else to put it than you dont get this, and my guess is its because you are a woman. Everything you have written I can see is purely from a womans perspective - sentences like "Perhaps it would be more productive to ex... (read in full...)
I have proof that my boyfriend cheated but how do I get him to admit it?
Q. i had a suspision that my boyfriend was cheating so i set up a recorder one nite and sure enough i got my evidence but he stil denies it. How to i get him to tell the truth?...
A. 21 February 2013: Why do you need him to admit the "truth" if you already know it. If you know he's a cheater, thank your personal God you have that info and move on.... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend has 20,000.00 he borrowed from me. Will I get it back?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 2 years broke up with me few days back, he was very abusive during the last 1 yr. Im still under depression and i did all things like begging, sending him mails, calling him to take me back. He didnt repond to anything, i gues...
A. 21 February 2013: 1) No you are not getting your money back.
2) Even if you have proof that he borrowed it, and win in court, he still will not pay you.
NEVER lend money to a friend or a family member without realizing that is likely the last you will ever se... (read in full...)
Why don't men realise they are being disrespectful when they use porn in a relationship?
Q. Why don't men realise they are being disrespectful when they use porn in a relationship? My ex just says I think it matters more how I treat you when we're together, I don't understand what he means because the way I see he's still in a relationship ...
A. 21 February 2013: We dont "realize" it simply because we dont see it as being disrespectful. Our brains simply arent wired that way.
Look, there are two things I have learned from being on this site, and they are -
1) Women generally dont understand RJ, a... (read in full...)
Can there be ONLY friendship between men and women?
Q. I have a bf and he is very outgoing, talkative, and humorous... I'm attracted to him because I'm not that out-going, at times shy, so I find him very charming. But what I don't understand is, he seems to have a lot of female friends, and wou...
A. 21 February 2013: Like others have said below, I think its possible if there is no physical attraction.... (read in full...)
I love her but she's ready to settle down and I'm not sure that I am. What should I do?
Q. I am 25, she is 30. We got together when I was 22. Our relationship has come to the point where she is ready for engagement, marriage and kids (completely understandable). I love her with all of my heart. She is the one I want to be with for the ...
A. 21 February 2013: Please, only settle down when you are completely ready. Im getting married for the first time this year, and Im 44. I cannot tell you how happy I am that I didnt cave to pressures earlier in my life when I wasnt ready.
This is one thing in your ... (read in full...)
Why do ladies not have any respect for men who treat them right?
Q. Ladies, you always complain about all the guys who mistreat you, so why then, do you always mistreat the guys that dont? Why dont you have any respect for guys unless they are bad to you?...
A. 21 February 2013: Evolution. Women chasing the "bad boy" types is a relic of the past that unfortunately does not serve them well in modern society. Simply put - the uber aggressive alpha male who was more likely to protect and produce healthy offspring thousands ... (read in full...)
Some thoughts on retroactive jealousy
Q. I was thinking about my wife's past (again) and experiencing retroactive jealousy. I'm trying to root this out of me. It is the wise thing to do. Anyhow, I want to know what others going through this think of what I'm about to write. Recen...
A. 16 February 2013: As a suffer of RJ, I would have to say that is a very good list. Nice work.... (read in full...)
I want to be more than his booty call!
Q. i met a guy 4 months ago started texting wich quickly moved on to sexting and naked pictures met him 8 days after meeting him and had sex with him 10 minutes later ive met up with him a further 2 times but always on his terms. i really really like ...
A. 14 February 2013: You've already set the precedent with your actions. Sorry to say, once a booty call, always a booty call. Chances are you will never be anything else to him. Once a person has no respect for you, its very difficult to get it back, and in the case ... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 14 February 2013: iAmHere - And Im telling you the odds that she is really "dating" someone are very much contingent upon the way he presented himself and went about it. If she is really engaged or in a long term relationship and very happy, then fine. But if s... (read in full...)
My younger boyfriend told me I'm ugly, stupid and I'm not smart enough for him! How do I cope with this?
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years tod told me that i look ugly, im stupid and i dont measure up to him and he wants to break up. We had problems before like he never spent anytime with me, always ignores me and never responds to my mails or texts. ...
A. 14 February 2013: Every time I touch a hot stove - it burns. How do I cope with this? Proceed accordingly....... (read in full...)
How can I stop my dad from being racist towards my girlfriend?
Q. [Mod Note: Personal and location details have been removed for anonymity] I'm 27, my girlfriend's 28, and she's Polish-Mexican-American (well, Polish-American on her father's side, and Mexican-American on the mother's side), and we've been together...
A. 14 February 2013: Im engaged to a Colombian woman, and I am of almost completely Nordic decent. My parents were a little nervous at the time until they saw how well she treats me, and everyone gets along great now. My dad would never say something like that about ... (read in full...)
Are all guys like this with their baby mamas? Or just my guy?
Q. I'm only 20 and in my first real relationship. We have been dating for 2 and a half years but he is 27 and has a kid. The thing is he always freaking calls his baby mama and what's worse anything she asks for she gets its horrible I don't know what ...
A. 14 February 2013: If you date someone with children, total the number of children they have and add one to it. Thats the number you come in. That included everything about their child, including their mothers/fathers. If thats not ok w you, dont date ppl w ... (read in full...)
I found out before a co-worker that she's going to be let go! How should I handle this?
Q. I currently work for a company who are going through redundancies, and as a result a lot of us have had to re-apply for our jobs. This has been very stressful, but thankfully yesterday I was told I had been successful and have secured my role. ...
A. 14 February 2013: You keep your mouth shut until she tells you and then you act sympathetic/surprised.... (read in full...)
Retroactive jealousy is tearing us apart
Q. my partner and i have been together for 8 years, hes just gone 40 and i m 36. we have been friends for 19 years after meeting when i was 17 and seeing each other for a few months. we stayed friends after this and i had my son with someone else and ...
A. 14 February 2013: In a way its too bad, but the way you need to look at this is for him the pain from RJ is simply greater than the pain of moving on. What you did while you were friends made no difference at the time - its when he makes the emotional investment ... (read in full...)
Am I doomed for a lonely life because I am fat? Are all the good men shy? And can men see beyond the weight?
Q. I am fat, and I think that is why men don't notice me. I dress up, take extra precautions to be presentable, and work hard to not be a turn-off and seem friendly in general. I am pretty well educated, usually non-controversial, and can carry a ...
A. 14 February 2013: What others said below about confidence is correct. Also, some men do like larger women. That said, the vast majority of men will be attracted to women who are fit and in shape. Just the way it is. ... (read in full...)
Online guy seems to have vanished! I'm disappointed did he get the wrong impression?
Q. Hello I'm hoping someone can shed a light please?... Last week I met a guy online. We exchanged loads of messages and seemed to get on really well and have loads in common. I told him my interests ag walking, camping and he hinted that he would ...
A. 14 February 2013: People need to stop thinking exchanging electrons over a network somehow constitutes a "relationship." ... (read in full...)
How important is a mans height in society
Q. I have an acquaintance who is a few centimeters from being 6 feet tall and he believes he is short and worthless because of it. He brought up a lot of articles and facts about how being short is the worst thing a guy can be and that being 6 feet ...
A. 14 February 2013: Im 6ft tall. Im kinda glad Im not that much taller - my finacee is 5ft and it would make kissing her all the more difficult........ (read in full...)
Are my fears valid? I am afraid that if I lose weight, I will get noticed just as a person up for sex and they will take no notice of my personality.
Q. Is anyone having a hard time losing weight, because they fear that they will attract guys/girls for the wrong reasons? I am significantly overweight, and am invisible to the opposite sex. I am perfectly presentable, and kind, and likeable othe...
A. 14 February 2013: I may be off base here, but your post seems like a rationalization for not losing weight. I cannot name one woman who doesn't wish she was more sexually attractive, just like I don't know one man who doesnt wish he made more money. ... (read in full...)
Is this online relationship over?
Q. i have an unusal situation. i met a girl online. i know many people feel on-line relationships are insane. her best friend told me "your insane, get a real girl you can see face to face, she has a man." i showed this to my on-line friend and she u...
A. 14 February 2013: Let me give you a spoiler - there is no such thing as an "online relationship.."... (read in full...)
Would you help your ex raise a child from another woman? He says we can't get back together except as friends
Q. ok, has anyone ever encountered this before? my husband, well ex now once asked if he went and got someone pregnant would i help him raise it? i told him no im too old i have already raised my children. oh we could not have any together because of a ...
A. 14 February 2013: I wouldnt raise another mans child under almost any circumstances. (Save that man is a blood relation to me or something like that.) I have enough of my own responsibilities and problems, I dont need those of another man.... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 14 February 2013: Yep - answer does not surprise me in the least. Don't tell me - her answer was some variation of "Awwwww. That's so sweet.....but I have a boyfriend." If I had a nickle for every time I heard that early on. When I was Mr Niceguy, seemed like ... (read in full...)
I've never been with a girl before and now don't know how to proceed with her? She's stopped replying to my messages.
Q. Hey everyone! I'm in need of some advice, thanks for your help in advance! I've been messaging with a girl for a few months now. I've actually never been with a girl before, but for some reason she and I seemed to connect from the very first secon...
A. 12 February 2013: Give her space and act like you are completely ambivalent. If she likes you, and you pull back, she will come after you. Not a guess.... (read in full...)
I honestly can't envision a future where its not me carrying the bulk of the load. What do you advise I do?
Q. I've been in this relationship for about a year. We were together for like two months, before I broke it off, and then maybe half a year passed before we got back together, which is where we are now. Its not all bad things that I have to say abou...
A. 12 February 2013: Ok. You need to run, and run now. She is a taker, and that will likely never change. IMO relationships need to be a balance. I make much more money than my fiancee, but I have not cooked a meal or washed a dish in four years. Ergo, I do things ... (read in full...)
Are there income disparities in your relationship?
Q. I moved to another state to be with my fiance after he asked me to move in with him. I sold my house and moved away from all my friends to a small rural town. I am from a big city. I got laid off, lost my husband--all life changing events. He r...
A. 12 February 2013: I suppose it depends on the relationship. I have read a lot of studies (and seen a lot of cases) when the woman has a better job/makes more money, it causes problems in the marriage. I wont go into the why's again here, but just know it does ... (read in full...)
I'm going away for 2 weeks and we went on one date. Will he forget me in that time?
Q. Hi im on an exchange in germany at the moment but just before I left me and this guy ive liked for weeks went on a date it went really well so the day I was leaving we met up. That went really well and we kissed and he was on about meeting my family ...
A. 12 February 2013: If he forgets you in that time it sounds like there was nothing really worth remembering - for either of you...... (read in full...)
Husband of many years has changed. Is he cheating?? Or does it sound like he is?
Q. Hi Everyone I have many questions but first let me explain. I have been married almost 20 yrs, I'm 38 he's 46. We have 3 beautiful children 22, 21 and 14. My 1st child is not his blood but there is no step anything in my home, however problems h...
A. 12 February 2013: For me - these two paragraphs said much - He is still all those things minus the hands on dad as the children don't require this as much, or the sexually crazy, which I have never really been that person who needs that all the time. He is the... (read in full...)
The personality is there. What are the positives and negatives of not having a big physical attraction to the person?
Q. Please consider if someone has the personality, but their looks aren't all the way to what you'd like and you're considering them for a serious relationship, possibly marriage. What are the positives and negatives of not having a big physical attr...
A. 12 February 2013: One of the few things that separate a romantic relationship from a very good friendship is sexual attraction. Further, if you are not getting it from your spouse, then you will have huge temptation to get it from somewhere else. Marriage is on... (read in full...)
Gf says she'd date her ex if we broke up. How would you react if a partner said this? Unsettled? Insecure?
Q. If you were having general conversation, and your boyfriend or girlfriend admitted that they'd consider dating some of their ex's again, hypothetically, if you two broke up, would that alarm you or bother you? My gf admitted that if we broke up...
A. 12 February 2013: For one, talking of ex's in a relationship is seldom a good idea. I think this is an example of why...... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 12 February 2013: punchwolf - Yeah yeah - women don't like arrogant guys - it wouldn't work for me - I've heard those lines a million times from ladies mouths - right before they go home with the biggest a-hole in the bar. Regarding this fact, what woman SAY a... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 11 February 2013: Unless you are already dating them, DO NOT send Valentines day cards to them! It will only give you the "nice guy" label, if you dont have it already.
If you want to be known as the "nice guy," then send cards and flowers to women you arent al... (read in full...)
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