Broke up due to his use of dating sites. Not civil either. So why does he try to deny or hide that he has a new GF?
Q. My ex went on a mid life crisis spree..we split up because he was on the dating sites and setting up relationships with them every month......why ? He has stopped communication with his kids....and as far as facebook everytime he comes on he deact...
A. 15 January 2013: Cas - Im going to be blunt with you. The actions you are taking and the things you are posting just reek of being a stalker and OCD. "I want him to own up...." "Hes a compulsive liar." "I would love for him to tell me....." You need to st... (read in full...)
How much porn use is too much?
Q. How much porn use is too much? I am a 19 year old virgin and am single. I have only one ex where I did not use any porn for most of the relationship until the end when we broke up over distance issues (college). It's been about 5 months since our...
A. 8 January 2013: Like anything that provides short term reward, porn can be addictive. Just by asking "how much" tells me you are going down that path. Just stop watching it.... (read in full...)
Is this as sign that my husband is having an affair?
Q. My husband had a strand of hair wrapped around his penis. It wasn't mine. He says that our daughters hair that gets everywhere including our brushes in our room, has got caught in his clothes and worked its way down there. And that this is a common ...
A. 8 January 2013: Ive had this same exact thing happen to me, but I wasnt cheating in the least. To this day, I have no idea where the hair came from. Could be from a lot of places, but it is nothing more than some poor circumstantial evidence. If you suspect ... (read in full...)
Broke up due to his use of dating sites. Not civil either. So why does he try to deny or hide that he has a new GF?
Q. My ex went on a mid life crisis spree..we split up because he was on the dating sites and setting up relationships with them every month......why ? He has stopped communication with his kids....and as far as facebook everytime he comes on he deact...
A. 8 January 2013: One more vote for - you are broken up two years - why are you still stalking him? Given the way you are acting, Im inclined to understand why he decided to leave.... (read in full...)
I'm still having trouble accepting my boyfriend's past
Q. I've been with a great guy for the last year...but I'm still having trouble accepting his past. He's the only guy I've even slept (or done anything sexual) with, but he has 4 exes that he's been with. I think about it everyday, wondering if he ...
A. 8 January 2013: I echo what CMMP said. As a man, I almost never think of my past sexual experiences, esp as they relate to my current fiancee. With a few exceptions, most women are not "better" or "worse" than others, just different.
I assure you that you... (read in full...)
Worried I cant get pregnant when I'm older, help?
Q. Had unprotected sex on 4 different occasions since I lost my virginity, I was really worried I'd get pregnant but I've just got my period like normal... Now I'm really worried that one day when I want kids I won't be able to have them?? Is there so...
A. 8 January 2013: You should be more worried about dying from AIDS is you keep up what you are doing. ... (read in full...)
I slept with my friends boyfriend 2 days before their baby is due. Do I tell her?
Q. So I've had this friend for 3 years. Me and her met because I hooked up with her boyfriend unknowingly. He split with her before I found out, but still cheated on her with me. Then cheated on me with her. So me and her became friends, long story sh...
A. 8 January 2013: Dunno. I think you should all do what you have been doing as I think you all deserve each other.
That poor child........ (read in full...)
He thinks of me as his little sister but I love him. What do I do?
Q. This summer I met a guy at a camp (he was one of the staff) and we really get on well. I'm 15 and he's 22. We lived together in a residence with some other few people. He calls me his little sister, so I call him by big brother. I know he cares ...
A. 7 January 2013: He's far too old for you. The maturity and responsibility difference between 22 and 15 is enormous. For the time being, stick w guys within a year or two of your own age.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 7 January 2013: Finally back to this. Seems like I missed a lot - all very exciting. I'll add just a few things. 1 - For woman who think this affects "just a small percentage of men," all I can say is you are just plain wrong. What I can say is how many men ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 4 January 2013: 12345 -
Whenever you have to resort to your online resume, ie - "I work with some of the most powerful people in the field," to support your argument, you have already lost. To that, from what you have written I believe the extent of your "sc... (read in full...)
How can I ask him for another hookup without sounding slutty or needy?
Q. After coming out of a very serious relationship and getting my heart broken i've decided to swear off realtionships for a while and just have fun. So basically at a party I hooked up with one of my male friends and we had pretty awesome sex. The ...
A. 4 January 2013: One bad decision rarely makes things better.
You can say the same thing for two bad decisions........ (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 4 January 2013: @Cindycares - Similarly, if you go ask most members of the AIBS what they think of modern psychology, you will at best receive a bunch of smirks and head shaking. This is true for most of the hard sciences, who look at endeavors like psychology ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 4 January 2013: Yos - To be sure, my claims are not ethical ones, they are metaphysical ones. I'm not defending a mans right to use RJ to punish a woman - far from it. I'm rather simply stating the currently accepted scientific consensus on why it IS. What... (read in full...)
My ex husband is constantly fighting my current partner!
Q. Im a mother of twin girls aged 6 from my ex husband. We divorced offically in August last year and he has a great relationship with the twins. We were 18 and 20 when i became pregnant and we married when the twins were aged 8 months. We were far too ...
A. 4 January 2013: Three sure things in life -
1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Exs and currents dont like each other... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 4 January 2013: 12345 - Not a single conjecture you wrote is consistent with the current consensus in the field of biology.
You have a right to your opinion. You don't have the right to re-write scientific texts predicated entirely on the stipulation that you... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: mouse -
To be specific - do know that retro jealousy is a product of male evolution - specifically being described by the phrase - "Mommy's baby, daddy's maybe." So with that, it can be argued that men who suffer from RJ are actually biologic... (read in full...)
Why did my husband not include me on the pregnancy email?
Q. I recently entered my second trimester in my pregnancy. My husband and I are both very excited about having a baby. He recently sent a mass email to his co-workers and our friends announcing our pregnancy, but he didn't include me on the email. I ...
A. 3 January 2013: My South American fiancee says there is a phrase in Colombia that they often use to describe many American woman - its "complicated." When I first heard it, I asked her what it exactly meant. She said - if you are complicated, that means you can ... (read in full...)
It's legal in my country to marry a cousin. I seek your thoughts on my ideas about marrying please?
Q. I think the West may frown on this but I don’t care . I don’t live there anymore. In my country not being married by age 30 is weird n nor normal generally. I’ve been in relationships and they have failed in part because of immaturity and ...
A. 3 January 2013: Not a western thing, but a science thing. There is a scientific reason incest is taboo, and its because closely related DNA is not a good mix for offspring. Almost all of the recessive genetic diseases/defects will be passed on.
I recall r... (read in full...)
My online love interest said we weren't just going to be bed buddies!
Q. Hello everyone, I started internet dating and first person I spoke to was really nice, we spoke for a long time and he said wasn't looking for just bed buddy but a relationship. Ended up sleeping together, thing is he seems to be treating me l...
A. 3 January 2013: tennistar88 tells it like it is... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work when age, tastes and especially nationality are so different and the language between you both is limited?
Q. I have a thing for my work mate and things have happened between us in the past, a kiss here and there, flirting ect. But we have a lot of differences between us, he is almost 28 and I'm just 22, things like our music taste is completely differen...
A. 3 January 2013: Not only can it work, I believe its more likely to work. There is a reason for the statement "opposites attract." There is a reason people are attracted to accents. There is a reason that all along nations boarders DNA is almost always mixed. ... (read in full...)
I am attractive to men so why don't they ever approach me?
Q. Please don't take this in a wrong way and call me conceited and superficial,I'm putting the problem as it is.. I am 23 year old woman, and by god's grace I have the charm, personality, the beauty.. I can walk into a room and have men look at me, ...
A. 3 January 2013: I agree with what k_c100 said below. Women generally like arrogance in a man, the same cannot be men about women. You seem to be very impressed with yourself, and even if what you say is true, many men will be turned off by that. Ive said it ... (read in full...)
How do I maintain the balance in this relationship? Being a gentleman but not a doormat, sensitive guy but not a wimp?
Q. I am in a relationship with a 28yr old woman and the chemistry seems amazing.)dating nearly 2 months, yes we are exlclusive) This past weekend we discussed who pays for what on dates and she told me it is important for her that the guy pays, th...
A. 3 January 2013: Look, you are either living by 1950 rules, or you are living by 2013 rules. Cant have it both ways. You want to live by 2013 rules, then the woman pays her way at least half of the time. You want to live by 1950 rules, then well....... (read in full...)
I had sex with a random guy to get over my ex and now I feel so ashamed....
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend, first love, and the guy i lost my virginity to a few weeks ago and i still feel incrediblely heart broken. I went to a party and drunk loads to try and forget about it and ended up having sex with a random guy. I feel ...
A. 3 January 2013: Note to self - A bad decision rarely makes things better.
Live and learn.... (read in full...)
Why, after 23 Years am I having trouble over this? My view of my wife is shattered
Q. so after 23 years of being married this question has come up. Why now I don’t know. Before I met my wife, she had a boyfriend in in high school. They waited until after graduation to have sex. While she was at collage he cheated on her. I me...
A. 3 January 2013: Unfortunately, this wont help you now, but this is one more vote for knowing your SOs past BEFORE you marry them. I know many here say lie or keep the past in the past, but one thing is for sure, and its the truth always tends to come out.
If yo... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: Also, please read what lovetoomuch wrote. I absolutely guarantee that is the way your bf is looking at it.
Next, AntyEm, please refrain from the name calling. Asking her to find someone less "immature" is no different than asking him to find som... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has not treated me right since he discovered I had a one night stand before dating him. Do I end things?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few years and we are getting married soon. At the beginning, he was really sweet, caring and understanding. The kind of guy that I have always wished for. However, one day, I told him that I had an one ...
A. 3 January 2013: I can tell you this. Its still bugging him, more than you know, and it will continue to bug him, more than you know.
I know this because I was in the same exact situation as him - almost exactly the same. I found that no matter how hard I tried,... (read in full...)
My sister is verbally and mentally abusive to her children. What can I do?
Q. I have an older sister that emotionally, verbally, and mentally abuses my 13 year old niece and 15 year old nephew. Every day she calls my niece all kinds of nasty names and calls my nephew everything but a child. She mocks their looks, tells them...
A. 3 January 2013: "when i call her out on her rubbish ,she acts as if i'm in the wrong for trying to defend them.she trys to justify her actions by saying things like "i'm not saying it tp hurt them","its a figure a speech" Ok - the next time she says this, respon... (read in full...)
She refused sex. Is this a red flag in our LDR? Or am I just being paranoid?
Q. I’m in a LDR with my girlfriend; we see each other every two months because we are in different countries. I’m currently visiting her, our sex life is good but I believe I have a higher sex drive than her. We don’t see each other that often so I b...
A. 3 January 2013: Sex aside, a LDR lasts 6-12 months before it must become a non-LDR, or it tends to be become a non-R.... (read in full...)
How can I get through to my wife?
Q. How can I get through to my wife ? For 6 or 7 years now I've been trying to get her to talk to me and discuss many things including our virtually non existent sex life. She's refused. She seems to want to live in some odd scenario which is more like ...
A. 2 January 2013: One of the very few things that separates a romantic relationship from a very good friendship is sex. Without it, you dont have a marriage, you have a friendship. ... (read in full...)
Is having a threesome a good idea to spice up our sex life?
Q. Hey everyone, I'm 23 year old turning 24 in 2 months..I'm married to this gorgeous man I love and everything is going great,but we always need something to spice up our sex life.rather I need something to spice up our sex life..so I decided to sugge...
A. 2 January 2013: I dont have knowledge of a single case where bringing a threesome into a committed relationship ever ended in anything but disaster.... (read in full...)
What alternative actions would help? Will my tough love response help my daughter recognise the problems she appears not to see?
Q. I am a 62 year old semi retired man living in a Mediterranean island. My daughter of 35 lives in Ireland with her partner. They have a daughter of 2 years. Both are unemployed and living on the dole. I have so far supported my daughter to ...
A. 2 January 2013: 35 years old is an adult. They need to act like it. Stop subsidizing their laziness.... (read in full...)
I feel like I created a monster! I want my old boyfriend back!
Q. I am 20 and I have been with my boyfriend since senior year of high school. My boyfriend is 20 too. So when we first met I paid him no attention. Then, he would sit next to me everyday, follow me to my classes, get stuff for me, he was so nice to ...
A. 28 December 2012: Ah - you wanted a "bad boy."
Well, you got one now. Enjoy it.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend slept at her ex boyfriend's house on Christmas and didn't tell me. What am I supposed to think?
Q. I don't know why my girlfriend would sleep at her ex boyfriend place on Christmas and didn't tell me. She says that him and her are now friends and she's not text me that much either, probably either she's busy or having a wonderful time with him, ...
A. 28 December 2012: I think you need to retitle this thread -
"My EX-girlfriend slept at her ex boyfriends house......"... (read in full...)
Ruined meal! I am disappointed with my friends and I don't know how to tell them how much. What can I do?
Q. I know there are people on here with real problems but if you could please take a minute to read my post I'd appreciate it. I feel really let down and annoyed by my so called friends. The 4 of us were trying to arrange a meal out before Chr...
A. 28 December 2012: Its best to have responsibilities for who brings what beforehand. Then there is no latitude for this type of problems.
That said, I dont have any "friends" who would have the gall to bring a cheap bottle of wine and stale cake to a dinner I... (read in full...)
Is it only me who gets upset that some people cheat, and then want to keep that fact a secret from their partner?
Q. Some Posters seem to be condoneing cheaters and ex promiscus people. Why do people think that its ok to lie to their husbands or wifes??? I just read where one agony aunt said "don't beat yourself up over it you just felt a connection so yo...
A. 28 December 2012: One thing that people should think about before they cheat (or any sexual mistake) is that once an act is done, it can never be undone. No matter how much you pray or wish, once you do it, you own it for eternity. The "fun" or whatever you call it ... (read in full...)
My B/f doesn't last very long in bed
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having sex for about a month now and it doesn't last very long. We do some foreplay but almost as soon as he's inside me he has to cum. We've tried taking breaks, I usually don't give him oral before we have sex beca...
A. 28 December 2012: Take it from a man's point of view - I think in a way its a blessing. Ive been a 45-60 minute guy my whole life. I know nothing of "quickies" - its just not going to happen that way for me. Trust me, there are many nights Im already a bit tired ... (read in full...)
Why is this guy ignoring me? We had a great 3 days together. I know he has a Gf.
Q. I had a great time with a guy for 3 continous days. It wasn't supposed to be a date but we met for a lunch at 1pm....and the date ended up 3am! It was not supposed to be a date as he was leaving the country and he already has a girlfriend. How...
A. 28 December 2012: You were used, and allowed yourself to be since you had full information prior. He no longer has use for you and harbors no feelings for you - those he saves for his gf.
Learn your lesson and move on.... (read in full...)
I'd like to meet a virgin woman but where and how can I do this?
Q. So after coming on this site off and on every few months for nearly 4 years now (mostly for affirmation that I wasn't the only soul in my predicament), I have finally decided to post about my situation and seek help. So anyway, my story is similar...
A. 28 December 2012: If chastity is that important to you, my first thought would be to go on some Christian dating sites. Those girls are often "marriage first," so you may have some luck there.... (read in full...)
Is it only me who gets upset that some people cheat, and then want to keep that fact a secret from their partner?
Q. Some Posters seem to be condoneing cheaters and ex promiscus people. Why do people think that its ok to lie to their husbands or wifes??? I just read where one agony aunt said "don't beat yourself up over it you just felt a connection so yo...
A. 28 December 2012: I completely agree. There are a few things I see here over and over again that for the life of me just cannot understand.
1 - The ambivalence many show towards infidelity, esp when its from someone of the same sex. (Conversely, most of the most... (read in full...)
I want somebody to love.
Q. I feel like I will never be able to be successful with women. The only girls I have ever been good at flirting with are ones I am not actually attracted to deeply. I'm a virgin at 19 and am going through medicine. I had an ex who I was with for 2 ...
A. 28 December 2012: To stem off of what SVC said, attitude is everything. No woman wants a wuss or a "nice guy," esp at your age. You need to believe and act that any woman would be lucky to even have you talk to them. The more arrogant/confident you act (and ... (read in full...)
Everyone I know is married, has babies or is in a settled relationship except me! Am I behind and missing out?
Q. Hi, I'm having a little age crisis I guess haha. I've just turned 20, and I don't have one friend that doesn't have a baby or isn't married. Everyone I knew from school is married, had a baby or has been with the same guy/girl for a couple of years. ...
A. 28 December 2012: In my 20s, nothing scared me more than the idea of having a child. Doing something as serious as having a child because "everyone else is doing it" is foolish beyond belief. ... (read in full...)
I've been having an affair for 9 years. I know it's wrong, but how can I break away?
Q. Hi all. I love this guy totally but he's married, so am I. Been trying to stop seeing each other for years. We been together 9yrs now. Each time we fail and whenever we do, we desire each other more and get closer. We have great fun, time ...
A. 28 December 2012: Nine years? Sorry, but given your age, it seems like this has been going on since the day you were married, and hence its WAY past "breaking off" or any type of reconciliation.
Admit to your husband what you've been doing and let him go. Encoura... (read in full...)
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