I can't get over this mystery breakup.
Q. Hey guys, well, I'm trying to find the best advice on how to move on with my life or keep fighting for my true love. My ex girlfriend and I went out for 6 months and we were a decent couple, we never had big problems or any huge fights while we...
A. 14 January 2013: Read what mouse wrote below. Says it all.... (read in full...)
How long do I wait for my husband to make up for a terrible 20th anniversary weekend?
Q. Married 20 years, received only a handful of birthday, anniversary, special occasion gifts. Read all the help columns and told husband exactly what I wanted for anniversary which was a week trip so we could reconnect. I started planning and he said ...
A. 14 January 2013: He wont "make up for it" and he wont be "a different man." He will be exactly the man that he has been, with almost no variation. People can fool you they are someone else for a short time, but at some point the energy expended to do this becomes ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lost his dad and is suffering, but he raised his hand to me and is very angry/abusive. What if he does it again?
Q. Hey everyone, I am 24 and I have been dating my boyfriend since I was 15!things were going really great,we got into the same college finished our degress,we have a very good job,although my boyfriend comes from a rich family but yet he decided ...
A. 14 January 2013: NO excuse to hit a woman, save she is hitting you or has a weapon or something like that.
I dont want to hear any BS about losing his dad, its an excuse. Ive been through some pretty tough times in my life and I have never struck any woman I ... (read in full...)
She knows that I love her but says that "she doesn't see me that way" How can I change her feelings?
Q. I have known this girl for almost 5 years,we became classmates but got to know her well from past 3 years. Back then i had a crush on one of my thai friend, so my classmates use to make fun of me. And this Indian girl i use to consider her as a ...
A. 14 January 2013: Listen to the below. You cant manufacture love or feelings for you. She either does, or she doesnt. ... (read in full...)
My Bf will be so hurt. I cheated over Christmas with a work colleague. What should I do now?
Q. Need some advice,I understand if you judge me, I hate myself for it..... Me and my boyfriend of 2 years went through a miserable period over Christmas, felt really down about it. I had my works Christmas party where I found myself really drunk, ...
A. 14 January 2013: Again, with ethical dilemmas, always switch roles. If he did the same, do you think you'd have the right to know? Therein lies your answer.... (read in full...)
GF went on holiday without me and packed her sexy lingerie. What does this mean?
Q. My girlfriend went on holiday without me, she says for a break from everything, but she took her sexy lingerie with her. When asked why, she replied that she did not even notice, just grabbed a handful of undies and packed them. What does this...
A. 14 January 2013: I would frame this with your other suspicions. If you think shes the type to cheat or is giving you other clues, Id say it does mean something. If the converse is true, I wouldnt pay it too much mind....... (read in full...)
He cheated and I continuously gave him grief. How do I let him know that I am sorry?
Q. Hi guys Little advice please. 7 months ago i found out my parnter had been cheating on me at the beginning of the year. i knew he was up to no good and my suspicions were confirmed when she contacted me months down the line telling me she h...
A. 14 January 2013: Guy cheated on you and only felt remorse when he got caught. Thank your personal God he is no longer in your life and move on.... (read in full...)
I can't stop masturbating even though as a Christian I know its wrong
Q. I really need help, i am a 15 year old Christian girl and i have a serious masturbation problem, i try to stop because of beliefs in my religion but when the urge is present i just cant stop i find that i like to watch porn while i do it and i know ...
A. 14 January 2013: Actually, I dont recall there being a single concrete thing in the Bible about masturbation being wrong.... (read in full...)
How do I convince my parents that this guy is the one?
Q. I will be 16 in june, and my boyfriend is 8 months older than me. We both live in Florida and have been together for 2 and 1/2 years. I truely love him, and I'd love for us to get married before we're eighteeen, but that surely won't happen. So we ...
A. 14 January 2013: The best way to convince your parents this guy is "the one" is to, for the next ten years, show how faithful and responsible both of you can be to each other. Then when you're 26, you can get married and say to everyone "I told you so." If you ... (read in full...)
Will this work? I'm married and I recently accepted the offer of my (separated) boss, to be his Girlfriend/mistress
Q. I recently accepted the offer of my boss, to be his Girlfriend/mistress. He is separated with 3 kids living with his wife and family. I'm married, with an understanding husband and a 3 year old daughter. We hooked up 2 only and 1 to 2 hours only ...
A. 14 January 2013: So, you both are married and have children, and you want to know if this will "work."
Yes, it will work at hurting your husband, devastating your children, ruining your career, and doing the same thing to him.
Other than this, its really an aw... (read in full...)
He's 39. Is he likely to lose interest in me, now that he's found out that I'm a virgin?
Q. I'm 22. I've been seeing an older guy for some time now. He's 39. Despite the age difference, we connect on various levels. He's an amazing guy and I want to get to know him more and more. But here's the thing. I'm a virgin and I'm pretty sure ...
A. 14 January 2013: I dont know where the fiction of "a man doesnt want a virgin" originated, but I can tell you in the vast majority of cases its just that.....a fiction...... (read in full...)
Should I tell my husband that I cheated on my ex with a co-worker? Or leave the past in the past?
Q. Been happily married for a few months after I'd been with my ex for a few years. Do you think I should tell my husband I cheated on my ex and had a six-month affair with a co-worker? Now I don't have any contacts with either my ex nor my former a...
A. 11 January 2013: I would say he most definitely should have had this information before you getting married. There is a reason your insurance rates go up if you have an accident, and its because as it applies to people, past performance is often a very good ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents my boyfriend is older?
Q. My boyfriend is a few years older then me and i don't know if i should tell my parents about him because they might not let me see him anymore, what do i do?...
A. 11 January 2013: Your parents will give you their consent or dissent for a reason. At their age, they have almost immeasurably more life experience than you do about what is just what is good for you. Use that experience.... (read in full...)
Is this a case of cultural differences? Is my wife blowing this out of proportion? Is there a right and a wrong in all this?
Q. When my wife and I fight, nine times out of ten it has to do with my parents. I feel like it usually comes down to a cultural issue. Im from SC and my wife is from Oregon. We currently live in my hometown in SC. My entire family lives within an ...
A. 11 January 2013: I can sympathize with this a bit as my culture is VERY different from my fiancees. For starters, your wife is your daughter's mom, and both she and you are in the first line position if you will. By that, Im mean when it comes to what your dau... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my BF has been flirting , possible cheating, with another girl. Struggling with what to do.
Q. I am 19 years old. In June 2011 I started a relationship with my partner. We had a few rocky bumps with his family which made us stronger, it was hard but after being able to stick with each other it felt great. In January 2012 we moved into our ...
A. 11 January 2013: Yes, its so "stupid" to get a commitment to each other prior to having a child that you are here complaining about his possible infidelity while carrying his offspring. Also, what do you mean "you did not initially get pregnant?" What, you failed... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my BF has been flirting , possible cheating, with another girl. Struggling with what to do.
Q. I am 19 years old. In June 2011 I started a relationship with my partner. We had a few rocky bumps with his family which made us stronger, it was hard but after being able to stick with each other it felt great. In January 2012 we moved into our ...
A. 11 January 2013: GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO HAVE A CHILD WITH THEM. It has not thing to do with religion, and everything to do with what is best for you and the child. How two people can commit to a child before they can even commit to each ... (read in full...)
The mental images of my wife having sex with other men from the past are killing me!
Q. Hi, I hope someone can help me. Like many other 'askers' on this site, I have trouble accepting my wife's sexual past (though I am truly getting better and better). I am in the process of starting therapy again to help me get through these intense ...
A. 10 January 2013: Op - I can sympathize with you as I am afflicted with the same condition that you are, RJ. This is what I can tell you - 1. Its existence is simply a product of our evolutionary past that has become incompatible with modern society. Its no... (read in full...)
What to say? Can't stand fathers beliefs
Q. My father is conversative and doesn't want to know anyone else's opinion. I can't stand how he is. He thinks having children out if wedlock is "ruining The family". This makes no logical sense to me. It's not like his family is close. How canyou ...
A. 10 January 2013: My guess is given the opportunity he would post something here about with equal vigor about your beliefs. Regarding your issue specifically, I will try to shed some light on it, so it makes some logical sense. All religious reasons aside, I... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable to dislike the fact that my B/f' 5 year old son crawls into bed with us every morning, then fidgets, talks, crawls all over us?
Q. A brief question to all you helpful people... I'm in a great new(er) relationship that is fairly serious, and I have just moved in with my boyfriend, although I've been unofficially living with him for three months. My lease just expired, my thin...
A. 10 January 2013: As others have stated here, when its you vs the 5 year old, the 5 year old will always win. When you date someone with children, total the number of children they have, then add one to it. That is the number you come in. Further, as step... (read in full...)
A needy, clingy woman got my man. How come this happened?
Q. I am so through with relationships and men. I am an independent woman, smart, beautiful and keeps myself busy never clingy. Met a good guy and helped him, even when he didn't have a job and no money, but now he's run off with a clingy girl. What ...
A. 10 January 2013: Maybe what you call "clingy" he calls "loving" or "attentive." Maybe what you call "independent" he calls "stubborn," "obstinate," "headstrong," or "distant." My guess is you are incompatible. Move on.... (read in full...)
My married lover has given his wife 6 months to give him more sex. What should I do?
Q. Im 35 and single and I met this 38 year old guy that has been married for 15years, we started off just being cool and each time we saw one another he would always talk about his wife saying things like how bad she treats him, how he let his wife ...
A. 10 January 2013: 1) He is a cheater. You are just as guilty because you know of his situation and are willing facilitating his cheating. 2) Specifically to the relationship, he is married to his wife, is going to stay married to his wife, and you will never be an... (read in full...)
How is a woman who hates porn ever going to know for sure she's with someone who doesn't watch it?
Q. I've been on this site for awhile now, and one topic in particular really stands out to me: the whole porn debate. I've read many peoples' opinions from both sides of the issue, and I think they all make some good points, but there is one thing I ...
A. 9 January 2013: The consensus among women is they don't like their men to watch porn. The reasons given are many, but the truth generally lies somewhere in the fact that men watching porn makes them feel like they are not enough in themselves to keep him ... (read in full...)
If he is getting help for his problems, would it be so bad if I took him back in a year or so?
Q. I posted a question a few days ago, but here is an update. I knew my boyfriend of 3 years was lying to me about certain things so I got access to his email account on Friday night, then did the same thing to his facebook account. I found dozens a...
A. 9 January 2013: You are out of a bad situation. Thank your personal God and never look back.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend who cheated in the past is now almost perfect, but I can't get over the trust issues.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. It's never really felt and still to this day does not feel like a real relationship to me. Previously I've always had a very close connection with bfs, we've lived together from an early stage, ...
A. 9 January 2013: Its either you forgive him 100% and move on, or you simply move on. No middle ground here.... (read in full...)
My wife told me she is attracted to her boss! I'm worried, what should I do?
Q. My wife of 14 years out of the blue while we are lying down cuddling turns to me and tells me she is attracted to someone at work. I was kind of stunned by this and didn't know what to say, then she tells me its her boss. She says she doesn't ...
A. 9 January 2013: Your answer should have been - "Wow. What a coincidence because Im really attracted to my new admin/assistant/intern/whatever. Im not sure why, perhaps because she's so young and in shape. But I still love you, hon."
I think that would get the ... (read in full...)
I asked my BF to have STD tests before we sleep together. He says he can only get results over the phone, not on paper. Can I believe him/ how can I check the results?
Q. Hi guys. I have a matter about health. Me and my boyfriend are going to see each other soon, he will stay with me for 2 weeks. We have planned to sleep together this time, it will be the first time of us. And for health safety, I asked him to take ...
A. 9 January 2013: Condom, like others have said here. Also, kudos to you for being so responsible.... (read in full...)
He's very good to me yet doesn't do the little things that I ask. I'm worried he's cheating
Q. hi to love or not to love is my question!! i'm very happy with him, when i'm with him. when i don't see his face, when i don't hear his voice, when i don't have any picture of him in-front of me, i just think that i am in a big trouble . -he is...
A. 9 January 2013: Like mouse said above, it sounds like a lot of women would be very happy with this guy. Perhaps you should give them a chance to be since you have so much to complain about.... (read in full...)
Has she shown subtle signs that she likes me?
Q. I have worked with this girl for a short while now, and have developed a major crush on her for more than a month now. I've never dated a coworker simply because I was never interested in one previously, (and for the record, my company does not have ...
A. 9 January 2013: I dont know how good of a job this is, but I would advise against it. There is a saying - "Dont fish out of the company pond." If things turn sour, it will run over into your work life, and one of you will have to go.
IMO no date is worth lo... (read in full...)
Am I thinking too far ahead? Would Western parents accept a large age gap if their daughter married a man 10 years older?
Q. I am in Australia but am not a westerner. I like a girl 10 years younger than me,she is 18 years old. I think she also likes me. But I am not sure.Is it possible because of age different she might be thinking the less possibility of marriage. Does w...
A. 9 January 2013: I have found the following formula works extremely well for calculation a maximum age difference between a man and a woman. Its .5(M)+7, meaning the youngest woman a man can date is one half his age plus seven. At 28, your number is 21. That you ... (read in full...)
I hoped splitting up with my husband would result in Bf wanting to be closer. So why is he now hesitant about us getting closer?
Q. Hello People I am married unhappily, and have been seeing this younger guy for 3 years, i am 51, he is 45. We see each other once ot twice weekly, at the beginning he said it was like a FWB relationship, as time has passed, i have got a lot close...
A. 9 January 2013: 1 - Until you are divorced, you are married. IMO not a grey area here. Depending on where you live, your husband could sue you for adultery, as IMO he should.
2 - That you are available for a relationship now is something he doesnt want. J... (read in full...)
My Bf talks nicely to me only when he needs money from me. What should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid I feel that my bf of 3 years talks nicely to me only when he needs money from me, other times he never calls, ignores me and bullies me. I have already given him a lot of money for this student loan. I don't have any proof for this ...
A. 9 January 2013: Read what Honeypie wrote. If you are still confused, please re-read it.... (read in full...)
I cheated and fell in love. Is this new guy the 'one'? Should I dump my Bf of 3 years?
Q. Hi, I live in Europe and I come to NYC 2-3 times a year for holidays, Christmas etc. My whole family lives here (parents and sisters). My friend came here once with me, and now he says that he doesn't feel like it because he feels like there is...
A. 9 January 2013: You're new relationship sounds just like an exciting fling. If you pursued it, the things you speak of would wear off significantly.
You also just cheated on your bf, so the one deciding who should be dumped is him, not you. You need to tell him... (read in full...)
Am I not good enough for him? I'm pregnant but all he does is talk to his ex. Am I crazy wanting him to leave?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. I am currently pregnant and since I've gotten pregnant all he does is talk to his exs. I feel like I am not good enough for him and that he is looking for someone else. I don't wanna lose h...
A. 9 January 2013: I know crazy idea, but how about getting married before you decide to have a child with someone? Not a religious view, but a relationship one. How someone can commit to a child before they can commit to each other is beyond me, and IMO very unfair ... (read in full...)
Housework and chore trouble with my boyfriend, do I move out?
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived for a few years now and the housework situation is getting out of control. He grew up with maids and is totally incompetent. Which would be OK I guess, but he won't listen to me or try to learn. I'll try to explain to ...
A. 9 January 2013: Some people are intrinsically slobs. They dont change, ever. Some people are intrinsically neat freaks. They dont change, ever. A middle ground or solution needs to be found, or the relationship will be constant tension.... (read in full...)
I think he's suffered a lot of abuse. How can I calm down my aggressive boyfriend?
Q. I have been with my current boyfriend just under a year. He's had a pretty unfortunate life up till this point and I suppose you could say suffered a lot of abuse from a young age (though I don't know any details as I avoid asking him about it)....
A. 9 January 2013: I also had a violent early life, so I can sympathize a bit. I am also very protective, but I never looked for trouble. If trouble found me, I wouldn't back down from it, but again I never sought it out. He seems to be, and trust me, if you knock ... (read in full...)
Karma: people seem to get rewarded for bad behaviour, so is there any point in being a good person?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anyone saw anything bad happen to bad people? I see a guy who cheated in the IQ test to get a job become the manager of a company. I see a woman who cheated on her husband living happily with her husband and kid. I see dislo...
A. 8 January 2013: Sorry, but I see this post as a pity party. Poor me, Im so good and nothing good ever happens to me. Wah. Ok - a few things - 1) There is no such thing as luck - you make your own luck in this life. Amazing how people who are smarter and w... (read in full...)
How can I get my fat girlfriend to lose weight?
Q. MOD NOTE: This was original poster's chosen title... Hi all Ive been with my OH (other half) for nearly 4 years now - when we first met she was 196lbs at 5ft 10 and it didnt bother me much. I was still attracted. Now, she is 219lbs! and thou...
A. 8 January 2013: You're not being a pig, you're being honest. My guess is that she's feeling a bit too comfortable in the relationship (setting aside medical reasons for the gain.) Ive had a friend in college that this happened to. He started making her think he ... (read in full...)
Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
Q. (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
A. 8 January 2013: Just another page in support of evolutionary behavior. Overwhelmingly, women hate that men watch porn, but men don't get why. Men hate a woman's promiscuous past, but women don't get why.
This same record will play over and over for centurie... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend ask me if I had ever been pregnant?
Q. My question is not a very long. But my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month. And a couple days ago, he asked me if I had ever been pregnant. I told him no and when I asked why he wanted to know, he said no reason. Is he just ...
A. 8 January 2013: I agree w Karlos. It was an RJ question, and the first of many. If you have a colored sexual past, I doubt your relationship will work long term. Not making an ethical judgement, but a metaphysical one, ie, not what's right or wrong, just what ... (read in full...)
She lost interest in me because I let her pay for her part of the meal on our first date!
Q. I had a situation with a woman I really liked, and need you opinion on this. I 've met this girl in a building that I work at. She works for a different company, and I saw her several times at lunch before we started talking. We just talked for ...
A. 8 January 2013: I do think this is kind of funny. Women often want equal everything, except when it comes to the man paying. Its either 1950 rules or 2013 rules. I don't care which you take, just be consistent once you do.... (read in full...)
How much porn use is too much?
Q. How much porn use is too much? I am a 19 year old virgin and am single. I have only one ex where I did not use any porn for most of the relationship until the end when we broke up over distance issues (college). It's been about 5 months since our...
A. 8 January 2013: Like anything that provides short term reward, porn can be addictive. Just by asking "how much" tells me you are going down that path. Just stop watching it.... (read in full...)
| *erpico's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erpico has
added them and they have added *erpico!
|
