A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really thought i was one of those liberal types-that's how i was raised. however, a week ago i discovered from a very reliable source that my boyfriend is bisexual and i just lost it! i broke up with him soon after because i felt he deceived me. i'm sure i wasn't overreacting, right? the other thing is that he was my first so i am really feeling weird about this whole thing and am not dealing with it properly. help?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 I just have to throw this in here... even though I agree that he deceived you, and you have the right to be upset, I don't agree with "anonymous's" comment. She said:
"Just because you are liberal doesn't mean you should be ok with dating bisexuals. Or be ok with having an open marriage. Or be ok with your partner doing heroine."
I don't think you can put bisexuality in the same category as open marriage and heroine. Bisexuality isn't a BAD thing, it doesn't mean that you boyfriend is going to have two partners at once and it doesn't mean that he'll cheat on you. It simply means he's attracted to both sexes. I'm sure he's completely committed to you (unless you have reason to believe otherwise), he just hasn't been totally honest about his sexual orientation.
I think you reacted just fine.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (16 November 2007):
 No, you didn't overreact. He should have told you from the very beginning that he was bi-sexual and let you make the decision on whether you wanted to pursue a relationship with him. It was not fair for him to make that decision for you. I am sure your reason for breaking up with him was not because he is bi-sexual but because he proved that he is dishonest, and selfish.I would have done the same thing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): Just because you are liberal doesn't mean you should be ok with dating bisexuals. Or be ok with having an open marriage. Or be ok with your partner doing heroine. See where I am going with this?? I mean, in this case, liberal just means that you accept different types of people as equals. It doesn't mean you have to date them all. You still have boundaries and standards.
So of course you are pissed off. He deceieved you. And yes I think you did the right thing. That is a big deal. When you are in a relationship with someone I think that they should be honest about their sexual history and preferences.
Gosh I am sorry this has happened to you. I can't imagine the turmoil this must be causing you. It is very brave of you to talk about this. This is something that could cause alot of shame in some people. But it wasn't your fault. It is just bad luck.
He was wrong. So don't beat yourself up about how you reacted. What he did was very wrong. I think it is good that you are talking about it. I think talking about it will make you a stronger person. Maybe it is too soon. But I would just try to let your feelings out and have people you can confide in and comfort you.
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