I cheated numerous times since my wife told me the truth about her sexual past, in hope I would feel better. I feel worse and still angry. Help!
Q. I am seriously troubled with my wifes past and am so frusterated at the idea of living the rest of my life in anger. It is really depressing. She was my first girl friend and my only other sexual experience before her was a very humiliat...
A. 28 July 2008: Why are you so angry? She never cheated on you, she was a free gal doing what free people do- have sex with whomever they like. She didn't (and doesn't) owe you anything.
Why did you badger her so much about her past? Why was it so importan... (read in full...)
What do guys think about when they masturbate?
Q. I'm 25 and I've been married for 5yrs. My husband and I have had many issues over my feelings and his about masturbation. I'm understanding to a point and I would really like to not be a bitch about this but I'm having a hard time coping with some ...
A. 25 July 2008: It's very normal for people to fantasize about others when they masturbate (men & women, it's not just a guy thing).
But not all guys do it (I don't).
Not all men are alike so there is no one, universal answer to your questions. Some watch po... (read in full...)
I really want to move to California, but my boyfriend is against it because he's a mama's boy. How can things work between us?
Q. I have always wanted to move to California. Its been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. And the career Im interested in, I'd make more money there. But I have one problem. My boyfriend of a year and a half is against california. I lo...
A. 25 July 2008:
I agree with rcn.
Both of you have legitimate reasons for your cases but hey sometimes you have to be selfish and do what makes you happy. Weigh the pros/cons. How much will you regret it if you never go to Cali? It would be a shame to stick ar... (read in full...)
After three years I'm no longer interested in sex with him, should I suggest an open relationship?
Q. I am almost 39 years old, a gay male living in Los Angeles, CA. I've lived here for about 7 or so years. I am currently in a relationship with another male who is 35 years old. I am caucasian and he is Asian American. I am finding that after 3 ...
A. 25 July 2008: So... the sex sucks, and you're not connecting emotionally or intellectually anymore? Are you just staying with him out of habit...? Because I can't see a reason to stay.
Think hard about what you get out of this relationship- how often are you ... (read in full...)
I cyber-stalk my boyfriend's ex to make sure they aren't talking to each other. How can I not worry so much?
Q. Alright, I tend to get a bit obsessive when it comes to my boyfriends Ex-girlfriend. We have been together for almost 2 years and I know I shouldnt worry. But I get so paranoid when it comes to her and ONLY her. Like I have to go to her profile and ...
A. 25 July 2008: It makes sense that you are worried about her because they were together so long. Is he the same age as you? If so, let me do some quick math...
They started dating at 14 years old, and broke up at 18-19. A teenage romance. If I recall my adol... (read in full...)
I hate to think that anorexic, fake breasted whores are better than me! How do I stop being insecure?!
Q. I hate having to compete with media beauties. My boyfriend (23) admitted that the girls on TV are supposed to represent the fantasy of the ideal female. He says they're hotter than the average female because that's what they're paid for, the same as ...
A. 25 July 2008: Your man has some weird views. I assume he's around your age (18-21), so maybe that's the reason for this- he's immature. Or maybe the stripper aesthetic is REALLY what does it for him. Either way, try to ignore his idiotic proclamations.
"They... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I are fighting all the time! Now...I may be falling for someone else. What do I do?
Q. hello loves. i adore this site, and leave feedback/advice quite often...and since i have h$ung around for so long, admiring all the wonderful advice i read dialy...i figured maybe some of you can help me with my problem for once... see h...
A. 24 July 2008: This is classic, you're unhappy in your current relationship so this unfamiliar guy looks even better than he usually would, and you start to develop feelings for him.
Anyway the solution: Either solve the problems you two have together or leav... (read in full...)
What do guys think about when they masturbate?
Q. I'm 25 and I've been married for 5yrs. My husband and I have had many issues over my feelings and his about masturbation. I'm understanding to a point and I would really like to not be a bitch about this but I'm having a hard time coping with some ...
A. 24 July 2008: I'm pretty sure that everyone masturbates, single or not. Don't take it personally, asking someone to stop masturbating altogether is like asking someone to stop eating, or bathing, or sleeping... it's kind of a silly, impossible request. It's not ... (read in full...)
Being a lesbian is my worst nightmare so how do I prevent it?!
Q. So, I'm 17 years old and I'm pretty certain I'm a lesbian. When I was 12 I realised I was bi-sexual, but when I was 16 my feelings for men gradually grew distant. I wasn't happy about being bi-sexual, but I dealt with it, I even came out to ...
A. 24 July 2008: I advise you to speak to a professional counselor in your area. Maybe your school guidance counselor, when school starts again. If you truly are a lesbian, there is very little you can do to change that, so you will have to get rid of whatever ... (read in full...)
Confused with a great guy who blows hot and cold...
Q. There's this guy I really like and we have got together twice now - but both times we were a litte drunk. There has been no sex involved as I've explained I think a lot of him, and want to wait and see how it progresses. We talk very openly...
A. 24 July 2008: Maybe he feels more comfortable opening up when he's drunk (liquor has a reputation for lowering peoples inhibitions, I hear...). Maybe once he sobers up he's a bit embarrassed and insecure about what happens when he's drunk so he avoids you.
A... (read in full...)
I'm starting to lose faith in relationships.
Q. I'm losing all faith in relationships. My last girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend of 8 years. I've now been dating a girl for the last year and we've had our ups and downs like every relationship some of it to do with jealousy on both ...
A. 24 July 2008: Aw, come on, you're too young to be so jaded already! Look, you're 13-15 years old (assuming you gave the correct age). Relationships at this age are rarely last a lifetime and are usually more dramatic than relationships between older folks because ... (read in full...)
We argued a lot and now we're on a break. I don't want to lose her. Should I go and speak to her?
Q. Hi people, I'm a 24 year old guy from London, and have been having a few problems with my girlfriend of 5 years, which is really making me feel depressed. The first three years of our relationship was just like any other... there were good times ...
A. 22 July 2008: It's understandable that you would find it difficult to take a break but understand that people take breaks because they need to distance themselves from a bad situation. She wants to clear her head, and with you constantly calling/texting her, it ... (read in full...)
Can I win back my boyfriend after he cheated and get things back the way they used to be?
Q. So..hello. Recently, My boyfriend and I have been going out for 1 year and about 6 months and before that on and off for about 6 months..we've been though alot for that amount of time. Cheating on his part. and I lost my virginity to him. But now,...
A. 22 July 2008: You cursed him out and he wants you to earn his love and trust back? What? I don't really understand, why did you curse him out? Anyway, if he's cheated on you, I can understand why you'd be angry enough to curse him out.
If you want it to get back... (read in full...)
Why are women expected to degrade themselves for men's pleasure, but not vice versa?
Q. I do not understand why it is almost expected of women to degrade themselves to please men when men won't do the same for us. Men's minds are so poisoned by the porn industry that they think it is NORMAL for women to take it in the ass and so on. I ...
A. 18 July 2008: Well, yes, porn definitely plays a role in shaping what young men find arousing (that's why so many emulate it in the bedroom and fail miserably at pleasing their women). Porn has normalized heterosexual anal sex and "cumshots", there's really no ... (read in full...)
Why is he still with me? Can he change? I swear I can't leave him...
Q. Why, WHY is my boyfriend still dating me? I love him and have forgiven all the crap he's put(ting) me through... and I'm still with him because I love him and because if he's still with me then I have the hope that he'll eventually chang...
A. 18 July 2008: He has very serious insecurity problems, probably stemming from a feeling of not being good enough. People who are secure in their own self-worth and value do not worry excessively about their partner's past, because they recognize that the past is ... (read in full...)
Do you think most women are truthful to their partners about previous sexual partners?
Q. what percent of women tell their current boyfriend or husband the truth about how many sex partners they had before them...
A. 14 July 2008: Most of my female friends lower the number of actual partners when they discuss it with their significant others, and I have had some girlfriends tell me that they had limited experience when really they had slept with more people than I had. I ... (read in full...)
I'm suddenly not attracted to my boyfriend any more. What do I do?
Q. hey i'm suddenly not attracted to my b/f anymore. he is skinnier and doesn't work out-and i do and i have muscles and i feel like i could break him. last night i was repulsed by kissing him. what do i do?...
A. 12 July 2008: I don't really get how you can "suddenly" be repulsed by him, presumably he's been skinny since you started dating. But nonetheless, if you aren't physically attracted to him anymore then your options are limited... either you try to encourage him ... (read in full...)
I've been trying to get my girl back. Should I try to make her jealous?
Q. So I've been a little too persistent and needy probably in trying to get this girl back (we only dated for a couple months afterall). There's this other girl that I used to be interested in and now we've kind of resumed talking a little bit. I ...
A. 12 July 2008: Don't play games with these women. To use this new woman to make your ex girlfriend jealous is immature, petty and rude. You're better than that. If you really like this new girl, then perhaps you could try to get to know her as a person, and move ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me a good website where I can get videos on how to have sex?
Q. Can anyone tell me a good website where i can get videos on how to have sex?...
A. 30 June 2008: I don't know about videos that teach you how to have sex, but heed this advice: whatever you do, don't try to learn from porn. ... (read in full...)
He had his first lap dance and I'm feeling even more insecure now, help me cope, please.
Q. Hello there, I have a problem, which makes me feel bad about myself. I'm insecure, and I'm not sure why, and I wish I could somehow turn off some switch inside me to stop feeling like this. It's about strippers and strip clubs. I wish so much ...
A. 30 June 2008: First off, please don't wish you looked like a stripper. Most guys might get aroused by their body type but in reality, out of the clubs, they look trashy and cheap. Sorry, but fake breasts and a toned stomach are not the be all and end all of ... (read in full...)
Can't cope with his colourful ex girl/boyfriend!
Q. i am in a new relationship.my dude and i have been together for 2 months and he just revealed to me that he was with a transexual. im so very disgusted and i cant even look at him in the face anymore. should i try to get pass it becus it was in his ...
A. 19 June 2008: It's early enough that you can get out of the relationship fairly painlessly, so if you feel that this is something that's "too much" for you, I would suggest ending it now rather than waiting. It's clear you two have different value systems, ... (read in full...)
Does this make me a bad person?
Q. hey, this is kinda an oqurid topic for me. ok here it goes... i have alot of guy friends and we all hang out alot, well one day we were hangin out and i said "im really bored" and being my guy friends they all said something dirty....but one or t...
A. 19 June 2008: No it doesn't make you a bad person or a slut, you're just experimenting (I guess technically you are a "whore" since you were paid for sex, but nevermind that). I just have a few things to say.
1. I hope you used appropriate protection- having oral... (read in full...)
Can a guy and a girl really be just friends?
Q. Can a guy and a girl really be just friends? And by friends, I mean more then just talk and hang out in the same group. I mean have a proper friendship. Can they be best friends? So far in my life, at age of 19, I havent been able to have that. An...
A. 15 June 2008: Yes. I have lots of female friends that I have no sexual or romantic desire for. Men aren't attracted to every woman they meet just like women aren't attracted to every man they meet. ... (read in full...)
To shave or not to shave, that is the question...
Q. do boys like when your vigina is shaved or hairy?? my boyfriend tells me he likes it shaved...but i domt like shaving it......
A. 15 June 2008: Men have a variety of tastes and preferences. Do what makes you comfortable and happy, I cannot imagine a man being so picky as to turn down a woman because her pubic hair wasn't kept in a specific way. Keep it clean and inviting (i.e. no bits of ... (read in full...)
Is the 3rd time a charm?
Q. My girl friend and I broke up twice but we still like each other. Should we try a third because I am really feeling this one?...
A. 15 June 2008: There aren't any limits to how many times you can date the same person. Just be cautious and keep an eye out for old problems and patterns. ... (read in full...)
I don't want my 2 regular girlfriends to find out about my girls on the side, but 2 of them are now pregnant!
Q. I'm in need of some serious help. I have been in a long-term relationship with a wonderful girl for the past five years and with another equally beautiful girl for two. The first girl I met through friends, the second in a strip club. I know som...
A. 13 June 2008: You are an idiot.
There's not much else for me to say. You made your bed, lie in it. ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend looking at other women disrespectful to my feelings?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We live together. What bothers me the most is that when we are out together, he always is looking at other women, and not just looking, but he undresses them with his eyes, he imagines things. I have told ...
A. 7 June 2008: Sounds like he's got his mind in the gutter and assumes that the rest of us men-folk are getting down and dirty along with him.
But he's wrong... "all guys" don't do that. I don't think I've ever been that transfixed by a woman (as you describe him ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend looking at other women disrespectful to my feelings?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We live together. What bothers me the most is that when we are out together, he always is looking at other women, and not just looking, but he undresses them with his eyes, he imagines things. I have told ...
A. 6 June 2008: Just out of curiosity- how do you know that he is imagining things? Did he tell you that? Because honestly, most people (male and female) WILL look at an attractive person if they walk by, but surely it's mostly innocent. I look at attractive women, ... (read in full...)
What should I do? He's pushing me to do unpleasant things!
Q. I am 13 years old and I'm dating a 17 year old,but he keeps pushing me to do unpleasant things,what should I do?...
A. 3 June 2008: He obviously has no respect for you and your feelings. Just put your foot down and say "no", DON'T let him talk you into anything you don't want to do. You should seriously consider breaking up with him if he refuses to listen. ... (read in full...)
Is a blow job for a groom a tradition?
Q. Hey sisters and brothers Just a funny one Just spoke to some friends ... bullshitting .. question was DO you think its a tradition for a GROOM to get blown at a bachelore party??? 95%guys said YES! So, how do you guys feel over here? J...
A. 30 May 2008: Hahaha... no it is not tradition.
The guys you were talking to must have been joking. Or they are really stupid. ... (read in full...)
Is getting really wet bad/nasty?
Q. i am wondering.. is getting really wet bad/nasty?? like i mean really. i haven't been horny lately but i guess i was and this boy fingered me and he was like my fingers are so wet while he was doing it.. so is that a bad thing?? im really ...
A. 30 May 2008: No it's not a bad thing, it is very normal. ... (read in full...)
If I love my boyfriend why do I feel like cheating on him when the occasion rises??
Q. why is it that i love my boyfriend and i cant seem to live without him but when ever i notice a new guy i feel like cheating i feel like i wanna start something new with someone else.....
A. 28 May 2008: This is a very common feeling, I would venture to say that just about everyone (especially in your age range) has similar feelings. Men and women alike have a tendency to crave "new" and exciting experiences. I "played the field" a lot when I was ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after his drunken cheating?
Q. Hi, I caught my boyfriend on cheating. We were at friend's wedding. he was utterly and almost unconsciously drunk. He didnot know who I am when I entered the room he was with this awful girl. Trousers down, she was correcting her clothes, not sur...
A. 28 May 2008: If he was THAT drunk, I would forgive him. Sounds like the girl took advantage of him, and I'm sure he would never have done anything like that if he were sober... right? People do out of character things when they are drunk, things that do not ... (read in full...)
Is this bachelor party a celebration of marriage or cheating?
Q. hi so i found out my bf went for a bachelore party. he told me they had normal strippers. unfortunately i found out, that those "strippers" were fingering each other and using other stuff to please themseves infront of the guys and also giving d...
A. 28 May 2008: If he truly believes that "this is what guys do" (pay a couple women to go down on them and finger one another), then he has obviously had some pretty pitiful male role models in his life. It might be what BOYS do, and I hate to be rude, but MEN ... (read in full...)
He's wonderful, but he's says inappropriate things to my friends, how can I get him to understand this?
Q. I have been married for a year to a man whom I truly believe to be the 'one' for me. He is a wonderful husband and we have a great sex life. My problem lies with his behavior towards our female friends. He is always saying things to them which ...
A. 28 May 2008: It's very telling that he said he wouldn't like it if you did the same thing back... It shows that he has a feeling of entitlement, he can do whatever he wants even if he KNOWS it's inappropriate, but you have to be the perfect little woman for ... (read in full...)
He's wonderful, but he's says inappropriate things to my friends, how can I get him to understand this?
Q. I have been married for a year to a man whom I truly believe to be the 'one' for me. He is a wonderful husband and we have a great sex life. My problem lies with his behavior towards our female friends. He is always saying things to them which ...
A. 28 May 2008: Why haven't your friends told him to stop being so obnoxious themselves? I assume that they enjoy the attention, other wise they probably would have told him to shut his mouth themselves. It's a shame your husband is more interested in raising their ... (read in full...)
Argh! My boyfriend is planning to go out partying when I'm teaching!
Q. My boyfriend is so... argh! I can't quite describe just how angry he makes me! See, I broke his trust, because last year I told him I wouldn't talk to this certain guy who used to have a crush on me anymore. But the thing is said guy is in my cla...
A. 28 May 2008: Sounds like there's something more going on in your boyfriend's head. He's obviously incredibly insecure and very worried about you cheating on him. Did you ever kiss this guy, or did he ever try to kiss you? Is there something more that happened ... (read in full...)
Is this bachelor party a celebration of marriage or cheating?
Q. hi so i found out my bf went for a bachelore party. he told me they had normal strippers. unfortunately i found out, that those "strippers" were fingering each other and using other stuff to please themseves infront of the guys and also giving d...
A. 28 May 2008: I have never seen strippers finger one another or give BJs... and I've been to a lot of bachelor parties. I have a few female friends who strip at clubs and at similar parties, and I am pretty sure they'd never do anything like that either. ... (read in full...)
A cyber-affair and lies. How can I ever trust him after that?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have lived together for 2 and up until last week, he was (minus a few stupid arguments)"Mr Perfect". last weekend, for whatever reason... i had a little look on his mobile phone. i saw a message from a...
A. 24 May 2008: Yikes... he's a closet scumbag.
Take a break from him, for a few weeks, to clear your mind. Cut off most contact with him, so that he can't be there to talk you into anything. You need a period of time to be alone and consider your feelings and ... (read in full...)
I really need to figure out how to be more secure about myself-help!
Q. I really need to figure out how to be more secure about myself. My b/f is a pretty hot, intelligent, fun guy to be with and says he loves me, but sometimes when we go out, I get so uncomfortable when there are so many beautiful women around us and ...
A. 24 May 2008: "But I guess men are never really happy with just one girl" I think it's really sad that you think that way, to be honest. I'm a guy, and though I was a jerk in other relationships, I'm never happier than when I am in love with "just one girl".... (read in full...)
Is he lusting after bigger girls? Am I too thin for him?
Q. I'm 110lbs 5'6 and very thin!!! I'm not anorexic/bulimic just born this way. I don't look sickly either. I've been dating a guy for three 1/2 months. I just saw some of his porn (he doesn't know! Yes! I was wrong for looking) and its mostly of ...
A. 23 May 2008: Porn is a fantasyland where men can indulge every desire they please... you haven't been dating him for very long, so I wouldn't worry about it yet. Perhaps the "theme" of bigger girls is just a coincidence, or maybe he really does have a fetish for ... (read in full...)
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