My older boyfriend is very controlling. I can't wear makeup, email guys, or leave the house... he thinks I'm looking for sex. Is the age gap just too much?
Q. I'm having an issue....I have been seeing this guy (we'll call him Randy) for a while now, and I'm starting to wonder if the age difference is going to take a toll on our relationship. He's 41 and I'm lets just say younger. Well, heres the problem, ...
A. 13 September 2008: This is the beginning of a very abusive situation, where no doubt eventually he will become physically violent towards you (if you break one of his rules). He's not mentally stable if he thinks these are reasonable limits to set on a person. Of ... (read in full...)
Guys- If a woman who looked like a porn star propositioned you for sex, could you say no?
Q. If a girl who looked like a porn star propositioned you for sex, would you agree? Like if she looked like Briana Banks, a young Pamela Anderson, Jenna Jameson, or Jesse Jane? I was just wondering because I heard that my boyfriend was at a party a...
A. 13 September 2008: Of course I could say no. Easily. Girls like that just aren't attractive, they always look like they're trying too hard. If he's a decent guy he would have said no to. I suggest you trust him on this one. ... (read in full...)
How many sex partners is too many??
Q. I guess what I want to know is what is the average number of people someone my age (22) has been with? I know its different for everyone and Ill get answers saying whatever is right for me. Im just curious is all. I've been with 12, which I ...
A. 13 September 2008: Your number is very reasonable for a woman your age, I think, depending on when you started having sex, of course. I have known women whose number reached upwards of 100 once they were in their late 20s (these women were strippers, but nevermind) ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my wife I don't want her to get a boob job?
Q. My wife wants a boob job. She really thought bigger is better. I don't like the idea, because they look so fake. How can I tell her I dont want her to get a boob job?...
A. 13 September 2008: How unfortunate. I'm with you on the boob issue, I hate the way fake breasts look and feel. Her decision will impact you as well as her, in that you won't get the same pleasure out of them that you once did. But if she really, really wants it, it is ... (read in full...)
My husband masturbates to porn and it makes me feel unadequate! I need your advice on how to change things!
Q. I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I guess I can't understand it... given I always felt he could open up to me and talk about such things... he also could have come to me, as I enjoy sex a great deal. But instead he would wait for me to go to...
A. 12 September 2008: It's a bad sign when a man chooses porn over actual sex. Next time, don't give him the option of watching, pounce on him before he has a chance to go on the computer. Sounds like you two are in a slump, you've got to get out of it before it becomes ... (read in full...)
He had a problem with my past and dumped me! I have lost my first love... help me!
Q. I lost my first love. He dumped me like that. It was an on/off relationship. It would've been perfect hadn't it been because of his problem. He had a problem with my past. He verbally and emotionally abused me. He called me too many names and t...
A. 12 September 2008: Saltwater is right on the money with this one. Just be glad it's over, hopefully the next man will be able to handle you and your past. It's unfortunate that he felt the need to dwell on it, one day he will come to terms with himself and won't feel ... (read in full...)
I am tired of feeling undervalued and wish he only had eyes for me. Should I go?
Q. I am an attractive, intelligent, 39 year old divorced mother of two and have been dating "Mark" for 2.5 years. The problem is Mark likes to look at, compliment and flirt with other women. He often stares at attractive women when in my company. ...
A. 11 September 2008: I think he's crossing a line with his interactions with these women, he's bordering on flirtation. I too flatter the opposite sex in order to appear friendly but my girlfriend and I have solid understanding that I'm rarely being genuine and she ... (read in full...)
Was I flirting to my friend as my wife thinks?
Q. My wife has always had a problem with my friends because most of them honestly are women. It's really become a problem now in our marriage. There is one person in particular that I happen to really like (as a friend) and she's flipping out because ...
A. 11 September 2008: Yes. That is flirting. And really inappropriate. So for the sake of your marriage... stop it.
... (read in full...)
I have below average boobs....what can I do?
Q. i got this problem with my boobs. they are not like really small but they are below average. i have never taken my top off 4 any bloke and my boyfriend always asked me why. im so concious that if i do it might put him off. even though he knows what ...
A. 11 September 2008: Don't get a boob job and for the love of god don't have a baby as a means to make them larger as Emivia pointed out. I'll let you in on a little secret... most men don't actually like large breasts (especially fake ones)... in fact most men don't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is jealous of my sexual past and is becoming verbally abusive. Will he ever get over this?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we're great, no problems except for one which is big and is starting to make me go insane. I don't know how much longer we will last if we cant get this sorted. So the problem is that he is very jea...
A. 11 September 2008: I tend to agree with Waz on this issue. Him calling you a slut or a whore shows a great lack of respect and love for you. I'm sure he's in pain over your past but it's no reason to lash out with ridiculous judgments. I am of the opinion that sexual ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal procedure for massage sessions?
Q. My partner and had a couples massage in a posh hotel in Egypt. He chose the hot stone massage and I the Thai, one. He was on a massage table and I spent the hour being contorted on a mat on the floor. I was given eyeshades to wear but appa...
A. 10 September 2008: I've never actually had a massage so I have no idea. But did you ask your husband what happened? Maybe ask a masseuse in your area if it's normal.... (read in full...)
Retroactive Jealousy: how do I overcome it?
Q. Right, so I am not even really sure how to start this. Basically, I suffer from what many other men (and few women) seem to suffer from as well. Retroactive Jealousy, or "her past"... Its horrible, its utterly disturbing and self destructive. I have ...
A. 9 September 2008: Have you considered professional counseling? I really think you should. Since you have already read everything I and other aunts/uncles have said on the topic, I doubt there is much I can say to bring fresh insight to the issue. You already know ... (read in full...)
Why do women always want their men for themselves only, if it's known that men like "variety"?
Q. Hello, I've noticed a lot of porn related questions from females lately. The age-old question is "Why does he like to look at other women when he has me?". And the answer is difficult... Well, now I have a less common question. I'm a woman m...
A. 9 September 2008: I'm not sure why you're asking this question, the answer is obvious yet you keep fishing for something that we can't give you. You seem to be happy being 'flabby' and your boyfriend thinking 'tight' girls are 'hotter', and if that does it for you ... (read in full...)
Should my girlfriend accept all my flaws or should I change for her to prove my love?
Q. Hey there aunts and uncles of Dear Cupid. I have a sort of problem from an argument i had yesterday with my girlfriend. She said that if i really loved her i should/would want to change some aspects of my behaviour to make her happy, but i argued ...
A. 9 September 2008: I guess it depends how long you've been together, if you've ever given her reason to mistrust you, how serious you two are, how much she sees her friends, how excessive your clubbing is, etc, etc. If you don't want to change, you won't, so there's ... (read in full...)
Does this mean I like porn more than I like my girlfriend?
Q. Hi, i'm 17 years old and have a girlfriend of 10 months. I sometimes look at porn and masterbate when she is away for long periods of time, and when i get an erection looking at porn it is always bigger and harder than when i get an erection doing ...
A. 8 September 2008: Seems that way, doesn't it? ... (read in full...)
Is it ok if an eight-year-old masturbates?
Q. I been babysitting all my life since i was 16. I baby sit this 8 yr old girl she's Always wanting Privacy. One Day I was Baby sitting Just her cause the other went to spend the night with grandparents. well One Day i was down stairs Doing some ...
A. 8 September 2008: I suppose so. Masturbation is a natural impulse. ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that we have sex all the time?
Q. Me and my fiance have sex all the time. We love eachother and would die for one another, what we have is something special. We werent always like this. I was afraid to kiss her for the first 3 months we dated and after that i was terrified of sexual ...
A. 8 September 2008: Accept it, embrace it, enjoy it!... (read in full...)
When a man is aroused by a sex scene in movies or porn, is it due to the beauty of the woman or the act of sex?
Q. When a man is aroused by a sex scene in a movie or a porno, is it because of the amazing beauty of the individual woman or the act of sex itself? Thanks....
A. 8 September 2008: The sex itself is infinitely more exciting to me. Beautiful women roam everywhere, seeing them is dull, not exciting. Watching people have sex makes us think of how much we like having sex, and what kind of sex would we be having, were we in a place ... (read in full...)
Why do women always want their men for themselves only, if it's known that men like "variety"?
Q. Hello, I've noticed a lot of porn related questions from females lately. The age-old question is "Why does he like to look at other women when he has me?". And the answer is difficult... Well, now I have a less common question. I'm a woman m...
A. 8 September 2008: "What I'm talking about are women who don't want their man to think of any other woman as attractive, and to only fantasize about them, not to watch porn, etc, etc."
I don't think any of these things are especially unusual or impossible for a ma... (read in full...)
Do men who don't watch porn exist or should I give up and stay single?...
Q. when I commit to a special man I hope to be his only and for him to get his sexual arousal from my body alone...is this too much to ask.....I cant imagine ever needing to look at another mans body for arousal once commited....and I cant imagine ever ...
A. 7 September 2008: I am a man who doesn't watch porn.
Don't settle for a man who isn't compatible with you. You must both be happy to live a porn-free existence, don't force a man who watches it to change, he will never be happy and neither will you. It's some... (read in full...)
Why didn't he smile when I took the picture?
Q. On August 30th, I went up to take my boyfriend to the Mud Drags and my mom had asked for me to get a picture of my boyfriend and his dad, so I did and he asked if I was going to get one of me and him and I said "Yes, before we go." I forgot but took ...
A. 7 September 2008: I think you're reading way too much into this. Maybe he thinks he has a sexy pout so he put one on for the photo.
If you think there's a deeper problem ask him about it.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is jealous for me looking at nudity in (not-porn) movies!
Q. I've been dating a girl for 6 months, and we have had a good relationship, however she gets extremely jealous and can't stand that I've seen movies or anything with nudity in them. I'm not talking about porn, I don't watch it because I only want to ...
A. 7 September 2008: Sounds like she has serious bodily insecurities. Lots of women do, she probably thinks that you find the women in these movies more attractive than her or that you're aroused by them. I'm not sure how you can reassure her and it sounds like her ... (read in full...)
Why do women always want their men for themselves only, if it's known that men like "variety"?
Q. Hello, I've noticed a lot of porn related questions from females lately. The age-old question is "Why does he like to look at other women when he has me?". And the answer is difficult... Well, now I have a less common question. I'm a woman m...
A. 7 September 2008: Not all men crave variety. Maybe I'm a biological freak but I am more than happy to be with one woman, and just her. My current girlfriend and I have been together for a few years and I've never been more satisfied. I guess what I'm trying to say ... (read in full...)
I still can't get over him, even after 2 years. I feel like I got the sour end of the break up
Q. Please, Please read this.. It would mean a lot to me to get your opinion. In the summer before 10th grade(June 13th,2006), I got my first boyfriend, "Stephen". It was all so new to me because I had never had anyone really give me that kind of att...
A. 30 August 2008: 1. Dump Dave ASAP and tell a family member that he beat you and is abusive. You don't need this, you deserve better and if you continue in this relationship you will never get a chance to develop into a positive self-confident young woman- he will ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man who has a healthy sex life to watch porn?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We love each other very much and have a healthy sex life. I found out today that he watches porn sometimes. He told me without hesitation and I did not ask. We some how got on the topic of porn. H...
A. 29 August 2008: "i feel all men indulge in watching porn."
I'm starting to get sick of saying this but, no, not all men watch porn.
Yes, it is common. Some would argue that it is 'normal'. But no, not every man does it.
... (read in full...)
I don't know if should stay or just leave him. I don't trust him anymore!
Q. Ive known my husband for 15 yrs and married for 6. He went to Ohio 2 weeks ago for work. I knew something was different when I talked to him. He came home told me he didnt love me, wanted to be alone, etc. I was in shock it came out of no where. I...
A. 29 August 2008: I imagine the counseling will help you to clear your mind and explore your emotions on the matter. You don't have to make a decision one way or another yet, give the counseling a go and see how you feel in a few months. He made a stupid mistake but ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a man who has a healthy sex life to watch porn?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. We love each other very much and have a healthy sex life. I found out today that he watches porn sometimes. He told me without hesitation and I did not ask. We some how got on the topic of porn. H...
A. 29 August 2008: Yes it's common. As long as you are both content with the arrangement and your relationship isn't suffering, don't worry about it.... (read in full...)
He wants me to give him an incredible orgasm, but I have to put my finger in a certain place...
Q. My boyfriend asked me if I ever wanted to try anal sex. I'm not interested in puttig anything up my hiney. Exit only please! He mentioned that one of the biggest and best orgasms he ever had was with an ex who fingered him in the anus during sex. ...
A. 29 August 2008: It almost seems like he's trying to pit you against her, to make you feel competitive and jealous, hoping to push you into something you're uncomfortable with. Don't let him boss you around, if you do decide to experiment a bit, do it because you ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to explain the scars of my legs to the new guy
Q. Hi, Basically my problem is that I have scars on my upper legs from self-harming a very long time ago ( 10 years ago). The reasons behind this don't really matter as they no longer exist and don't explain anything about the person that I am now. ...
A. 29 August 2008: Well you don't have to tell him yet, you could wait until he sees them and asks about them. If they aren't too high up on your leg, you could show him them when you are wearing shorts or a skirt, and hope that he comments. This is the easiest way to ... (read in full...)
A few questions about penile extensions... Do you think my husband would be offended if I suggested one?
Q. I have a question about penile extensions. What are they made from, can the man feel sex while wearing one? Do they add thickness or just length? Has anyone had experiences with them and if so, was it positive or negative and why? My husband's peni...
A. 28 August 2008: Clearly his penis size isn't the problem, so a penile extension isn't the answer. Maybe you should look at the real root cause of the issue instead of focussing on this- the stuff you listed: not mentally turned on, having two young children. If ... (read in full...)
Why does he always close his eyes during sex?
Q. my bf of three years always has his eyes closed durring sex,I don't get it . He also has an obsession with internet porn. ...
A. 28 August 2008: "Now let’s suppose that the guy asks the woman to stop going out drinking with her girlfriends. That is a luxury. If anyone says that the guy giving up porn is required but the woman should be able to go out and do anything that she wants then that ... (read in full...)
Why does he always close his eyes during sex?
Q. my bf of three years always has his eyes closed durring sex,I don't get it . He also has an obsession with internet porn. ...
A. 28 August 2008: Communication is key, talk to him about it. Keeping it to yourself or asking about it on the internet, (while we are a great resource) isn't going to solve your relationship problems. After 3 years you should have the comfort level to ask him.
I... (read in full...)
I'm hiding the fact that I like male-on-male porn from my girlfriend and I'm feeling disgusted by myself. How do I solve this?
Q. I'm 25 years old and live with my girlfriend who's 23. In the past few months I've started becoming addicted to pornography, and have much self-hatred because of it. I've bought a lot of male-on-male porno and had to hide it somewhere in our hous...
A. 28 August 2008: You need to look at the deeper reasons why you have become addicted in the last few months. Addictions often fill a void, or numb some pain, so you need to reflect on what was missing or what was hurting you in your life to make you turn to porn. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my boyfriend from assuming things and getting jealous?
Q. Ive known my boyfriend for a very long time now like almost 6 years since i was 12 . I love him a lot. I think if theres a word that means more than love thats how i feel for him its just unexplainable. The problem is he gets jealous and assumes to ...
A. 28 August 2008: Often when a person is suspicious of his or her partner, it is because they themselves are doing something wrong. Maybe he talks to other girls and assumes you are doing the same. He's projecting his guilty conscience onto you and accusing you of it ... (read in full...)
My fiance cheated on me with his ex because of lack of passion! Will this work out?
Q. I dont know what to do, my fiancee who I have been with for 2 years has slept with his ex girlfriend, who he has a child with just days after our engagment party. Should I forgive him or move on? This girl is always causing trouble for us and has ...
A. 28 August 2008: DO NOT MARRY HIM.
That would be the biggest mistake of your life and a waste of time, money and love. It's much harder to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of an engagement! Leave the ring on the dresser (or pawn it), pack your stuff (or ... (read in full...)
A woman in my house while I am out of town?!
Q. OK, heres the deal. I am out of town on a family emergency and suddenly my husband is getting picked up and brought home from work by a new "training" lady at his job. He is in the military. Now, my husband doesn't have his license so he has gotten ...
A. 28 August 2008: Give it some time. There is a good chance that it was innocent, and she really did only change clothes. Did you ask the lady who witnessed it how long the woman was in the house for?
Look at it from his perspective... if it really was comp... (read in full...)
I am addicted to looking at perfect men, and can't stop fantasizing! It's upsetting my boyfriend, how do I stop?.
Q. I have a problem.. I cant seem to stop checking out other men... whenever a handsome man enters my field of vision I am transfixed. I love the look of a strong toned torso, muscular arms, a nice butt, and a handsome face... I am like a drug addict ...
A. 27 August 2008: Sounds like an overactive imagination and a huge libido... neither of which are serious problems as long as you have the ability to turn it off. It could be an actual addiction, if you have tried to stop and can't, then you could probably benefit ... (read in full...)
Did he use swapping as an excuse to get with that woman?
Q. My husband always insisted on threesomes with another male. I never liked it but since it was his passion, I thought a couple would be more appropriate. The idea was not to have swinging or swapping and I made it very clear to my husband and he ...
A. 27 August 2008: This sort of thing is always risky and sounds like you found out why.
Sounds like he got aroused in the moment watching her and his 'little brain' took over, so he decided to back out of the rules you had previously laid out. If all of you were in a... (read in full...)
Do men really like large breasts, I am endowed and I am embarrassed about my chest, do men like them better than small breasts??
Q. one more question... do guys like girls with big boobs? i mean honestly because i have a set and sometimes i get slmost self concious about them....
A. 25 August 2008: As a guy I can say that breasts are breasts... I've been with women of all breast size and never cared one way or another whether they were small or large or in between. But then again I'm more of an "assman" anyway.
I'm sure you'll find a man some... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my on again, off again girlfriend, I am going to a new school, she won't be there, I am excited about maybe meeting someone new, but confused as well?
Q. Hi I'm 15 and have been with a girl for about 3 years on and off... she has cheated on me twice, and both times we broke up and be a part for 5 or 6 months then she would get bored with the other guys and come back... she hurt me when she did these ...
A. 25 August 2008: You didn't once give any reason why you love her, or like her. Hell, you didn't even mention enjoying her company. All you said was that you were afraid of being alone. And this is no foundation for a relationship. At your age you SHOULD be out ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend crossed the line and called me a "dirty whore"!
Q. Sometimes i dont know what to do. Things just haven't been going my way lately. Me and my boyfriend argue about the simplest things. But today he crossed the line and called me a dirty whore. There was no reaction to that reply i just turned my head ...
A. 22 August 2008: Yikes, you shoulda slapped him for that one.
Just kidding, that's obviously a bad idea but I reckon my girlfriend would do a lot worse to me if I had the balls to call her that!
You need to let him know that if he wants to call you names when you... (read in full...)
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