A
female
age
36-40,
*omino21
writes:I have always wanted to move to California. Its been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. And the career Im interested in, I'd make more money there. But I have one problem. My boyfriend of a year and a half is against california. I love my boyfriend more than anything and we have even talked about marriage and kids. But Im not sure what to do with it comes to that one dream of mine. He says he will visit and he will maybe think about it. But I know him, he is very stubborn and wont admit that he likes it even if he does.He is comfortable in the state we are in. And Im not going to lie I am too. But when I finish school there isnt going to be any of that job type around here. He's told me to go ahead and go. But he knows Im not going to leave without him. Though Im starting to think about it.He is a big mama's boy. And part of the reason he doesnt want to leave is because of her. I do love his mom. But I feel like sometimes she'd rather have them stuck here than go somewhere and succeed. He says he is also afraid of earthquakes.. which I guess is understandable. But he states he is worried our kids are going to get shot if we go out there. I tell him hes worrying too much and he should trust me. He knows how much it means to me. He even said how thats all I talk about. Its gotten to the point where I keep thinking about it so much that Im wondering if things are going to work with us anymore. I really dont know if I should just compromise and find a city in our state that I could work out of. Or if I should go without him and see how things work out.
View related questions:
money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (25 July 2008):
 You have to make it clear for yourselfDo you want to be with your boyfriend? Will that make you happy?Or will you survive without him, because California will make you even happier!!!He is obviulsy not going with you ... so you have to make a choise.Or .. stay here, see how the realtionship goes .. and than after a while .. or when you guys get married, maybe you can move there .. and if not .. you can go visitBut if you really see yourself there forever .. than you have to go without him. . because he is not goingI am would LOVE to move to South Carolina .. but my BFs family is all in NY (mine is in Europe and COlorado) and so he wont move away from here! It kinda makes me sad, but I know I wana be with him, no matter where that maigh be! We do go down to S.C couple of times a year just to visit so I can complete my dream little bit too!Good luck
A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (25 July 2008):
I agree with rcn.
Both of you have legitimate reasons for your cases but hey sometimes you have to be selfish and do what makes you happy. Weigh the pros/cons. How much will you regret it if you never go to Cali? It would be a shame to stick around for a boyfriend and then find out that when he's finally ready to go or the relationship is over, you have missed your opportunity.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 July 2008):
 You should plan on going to California. Don't let someone hold you back from your dreams. If he goes, he goes. If not, he won't. I say this because if your relationship was really that strong, which may cause a compromise in personal plans, you wouldn't be on here questioning what you should do.
His concerns are real. Living there is not what could happen, it's learning to adapt to a different are so the chances of something happening would be decreased. There will be differences there that you may not be use too where you live. Take care.
...............................
|
