I feel like my youth is passing by, any advice?
Q. So I have an issue that is bothering me and have been thinking about a lot lately. I am almost 23 years old and within the past 5 years haven't had a serious relationship and haven't had sex. I am almost done with University and then will need t...
A. 2 June 2008: Well ok.. so you identified it, it is lack of confidence. Now find out why and work with it. Your brain is VERY powerful and even though you might not turn into a social butterfly in a night, you have the capability to make significant changes.
... (read in full...)
Is my long term off again on again boyfriend a drunk? what should I do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with the guy on an off since I was 17, we are now 40. we shared a house together in 2003 in which we were both in seperate relationships but both did not work out as we wanted to make the relationship work although he stil...
A. 30 May 2008: I am a recovering alcoholic. No one can say whether someone else is alcoholic, only that person can. You can, however, assume he might have a drinking problem. There are 2 questions he needs to ask himself:
1. When he starts drinking, is it diff... (read in full...)
I feel like my youth is passing by, any advice?
Q. So I have an issue that is bothering me and have been thinking about a lot lately. I am almost 23 years old and within the past 5 years haven't had a serious relationship and haven't had sex. I am almost done with University and then will need t...
A. 28 May 2008: Oh God... I am almost 30 and now I feel really really old lol... I am a firm believer that youth lives within you, and that partying and having a lot of casual sex is just, sometimes, being irresponsible. The truth is there are a LOT of ways to ... (read in full...)
He wants to meet me again, but is moving too fast, saying why wait?
Q. Just met this guy online..... we met briefly and we kissed. Now he wants to meet me again, but is sending me texts saying he wants to make love to me. I'm not happy with moving so fast, and have told him this.... but he feels we have a great con...
A. 27 May 2008: Careful, he seems like a player! The Internet world is very sexually open and that is not bad, but don't let anyone rush you into anything.
In real life as well as in the Internet dating scene don't do anything you just don't really want to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone that you are sexually unattracted to?
Q. I have been dating the same girl for almost a year and a half now. Shes great. I love her to death. She wore a promise ring until today. At first glance I wasn't that attracted to her. But a couple months after we met we started dating. We started ...
A. 27 May 2008: You can not force who you like or not and I definitely wouldn't recommend having a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to. On the other hand, telling her you don't like her because she is overweight is not a good initiative ... (read in full...)
Am I bipolar? I've been saying mean and hurtful things to my boyfriend.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I am truely in love with him. I have recently for the past 3 months been really mean to him. I will say mean and hurtful things like call him fat and ugly. I tell him that I don't want to be with ...
A. 27 May 2008: Hi there...
Psychological diagnosis are not something someone should and could do over the Internet, you should seek professional help. If you are bipolar, you will need medication and treatment and that can not be done over the Internet... (read in full...)
His ex came back into his life, and now I'm wondering if I should be there for the DNA test on my husband!
Q. ive been married for 3 yrs and now got a 2 yr old son be4 me and my husband got married he already know that i have a child of my own so its not a problem to him. me and my husband is always far from each other coz of his job he is in the military. ...
A. 27 May 2008: Hello there...
Trust is very important in a relationship. I understand your doubts and insecurities but you need to be very intelligent through this ordeal. The truth is that by you being there you will not prevent anything from happenin... (read in full...)
My ex treat me badly and I'm compelled to tolerate his presence as he is in my group of friends. What can you advise?
Q. I can not believe it. I am still hung up on this guy that treat me badly. All I have been thinking about is that night. Now this is affecting my socialising. As my friends are all mates with him. And whenever we are out , we are out with him. Am i ...
A. 26 May 2008: Your mental health should always come first. If when he is around you feel uncomfortable and he is always around with your other friends, then you need to find a new group of friends. I am sure this will sound drastic, but you should not expose ... (read in full...)
After my sister left the nest, my mother became overprotective of me. How should I speak to her about this?
Q. Ok, so my sister moved out about 5 months ago. My mom was having a hard time with it, but now she is perfectly fine. About 3 months ago when she got over her leaving, she started treating me like I was 2. Now she doesnt let me do anything. I want...
A. 26 May 2008: Ironically enough, you need to teach your mother and guide her to a new relationship with you. Being honest and telling her what you feel when she treats you like a 2 year old, calmly and being very careful not to hurt her, is a good first step. ... (read in full...)
Our time together is getting boring, we're not living together or married, what will it be like if we were?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 3 years. We do not live together but we spend every weekends together (I go over to his house or he comes over to mine). During the weekdays, he'll call me at night and talk to me. I know I'm lucky he is still doing ...
A. 23 May 2008: Well there are dancing classes on the web, you could make a special dinner (the two of you cooking together a recipe from the Internet), you can read a book together, you can play something inside, he can put on some sunblock (a lot of varieties)... ... (read in full...)
Is four and a half inches normal?
Q. hi im 12 and in realy concernd about my size down stairs.is 4 and a half inchs normal? please help....
A. 23 May 2008: Sounds very normal. Stop stressing!... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a girlfriend right now, but wants me in his life! Should I stop seeing him altogether? I do love him.
Q. I am divorced. I started sleeping with a co-worker. He and I are really great friends. He tells me all the time that I am his best friend. We do so much together. He does not want a girl friend. I understand that, I myself am getting out of a ...
A. 23 May 2008: You have a great friendship relationship, and he, of course, does not want to loose that. If, however, you are in love with him, be aware that you are the one with the heart in the line.
A time for your own is a good idea. That will help you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has Asperger's Syndrome, and now I think I might have it as well. How do I talk with him about this?
Q. My boyfriend (let's say J) has Asperger's, and recently, I've been starting to question myself, as a lot of our similarities lie within his AS traits. It's easy to talk to him about most things as he seems to be able to relate to them. For examp...
A. 23 May 2008: I am not very familiar with this condition but I think you should consult a professional. It rather seems you want to have it and it somehow makes you feel special or explain everything you needed explained.
Psychological diagnosis are only mea... (read in full...)
Our time together is getting boring, we're not living together or married, what will it be like if we were?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 3 years. We do not live together but we spend every weekends together (I go over to his house or he comes over to mine). During the weekdays, he'll call me at night and talk to me. I know I'm lucky he is still doing ...
A. 23 May 2008: Boredom and routine is set by the couple, if your married or if you're not. The two of you are responsible for this and you should talk and plan to do different stuff. Three years is a long time relationship and shows commitment on your part, but, ... (read in full...)
Is he lusting after bigger girls? Am I too thin for him?
Q. I'm 110lbs 5'6 and very thin!!! I'm not anorexic/bulimic just born this way. I don't look sickly either. I've been dating a guy for three 1/2 months. I just saw some of his porn (he doesn't know! Yes! I was wrong for looking) and its mostly of ...
A. 23 May 2008: Even if he was attracted to bigger girls that should not be an issue. Sexuality is just one part of a relationship and there are other very important things that make you/or not compatible and that are more important. You should no try to gain ... (read in full...)
How do I get over falling in love with my therapist?
Q. I realize that the following question has been posted in so many different ways, over and over again, but I am in need of some really sound advice. How do I get over falling in love with my therapist, especially when you know without doubt that ...
A. 23 May 2008: If you are still receiving counseling from this therapist you need to let him/her know. He needs to refer you to a new therapist, until then, you won't be really benefiting from therapy. If you have not done so already, you will begin to act ... (read in full...)
My son is on drugs...does love and patience really work or do I let him hit rock bottom???
Q. I am heartsick. My teen son has always been a gentle, quiet, bright yet strong and determined young man, with high marks and good goals, for his future. We had him in sports--soccer, snowboarding and golf. He always love electronics with a a ...
A. 22 May 2008: Believe me I am familiar with your situation and more so with your oldest son. I helped my mom look for my brother a couple of times. It is good the family is uniting to do this at it is a difficult task.
I will pray for you and your family. ... (read in full...)
How did you proposed or were proposed to?
Q. I kno there's a lot of married people on dear cupid. So I want to know how did your husband propose to u or guys did your wife ask u. Just curious...
A. 22 May 2008: We went to stay the night at a hotel for our first year bf/gf anniversary. First we went on a road trip, then he took me to a steak house with a view of the city and then to the hotel. When we got there, in our room, I asked for my anniversary gift ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me for no reason, but I still want him as a friend! Help me understand!
Q. Okay, well I just graduated from high school, and I was dating this guy, since freshman year, and in the middle of this year, he just broke it off. No reason, nothing, he just ended it. It shattered my heart, and it feels like its in so many peices ...
A. 22 May 2008: Hi there...
I know it might be difficult for you to realize this right now as this is your high school sweet heart, but, he is not a bad person for ending a relationship he didn't want to be in anymore. He would have been if he cheated on you o... (read in full...)
I get really 'wet' even if I'm just talking to someone I like, it's embarassing and uncomfortable! Anything to do?
Q. It is probably a silly thing to most people but when i get even slightly sexually aroused, even if I am not going to have intercourse I get really "wet" even if I am just talking to someone that I like, this is realy embarrassing and uncomfortable ...
A. 22 May 2008: Well I would think of using a pantyliner on a daily basis. Also, a thing guys do that might help you, they masturbate before going out. That way they have control their sexual drive before living the house (their case is way more obvious).
I hav... (read in full...)
My son is on drugs...does love and patience really work or do I let him hit rock bottom???
Q. I am heartsick. My teen son has always been a gentle, quiet, bright yet strong and determined young man, with high marks and good goals, for his future. We had him in sports--soccer, snowboarding and golf. He always love electronics with a a ...
A. 22 May 2008: I am VERY happy to read your post. It seems you have decided to take an active role in this situation and that is the best you can do. Suggestion: when looking for rehab centers look for peer reviews, not only what the site say the do.
Movin... (read in full...)
My husband has cheated on me, and I don't think I want to raise my son in this kind of environment!
Q. HI, Am not sure how many of you have gone through this....but I would definetly appreciate some advice. I am 30 yrs old and married. Ours was a love marriage.I have a good looking son who is 10 months old. My husband had an affair with two of hi...
A. 22 May 2008: Yup... this is definitely your call. However, how much interest is he showing on getting back together? What is in the past, must stay there. However, when you say he says he is fine with any decision you take it sounds like he doesn't care much ... (read in full...)
I have a really high sex drive...but my boyfriend thinks I'm not going to be able to orgasm when I get older!!! Is he right?
Q. im worried. I'm 17 years old, and i have had two sexual parteners. my ex boyfriend and my current boyfriend of a year and a half. he thinks there is something wrong with me. I have slept with only two people, and he has slept with about 6, s...
A. 22 May 2008: No you won't "wear out". You just basically have multiple orgasms at the same time which is cool and he should be grateful for, I suppose he is doing something right lol. Even if you do have multiple orgasms at once it doesn't mean you are being ... (read in full...)
Hell I'm paranoid she is clocking on to my vulnerability.
Q. I've been close friends with this girl for a year, recently we've become involved with each other (kissing, hugging etc.) over a ten day period romance. She is seeing this guy, who never calls her and doesn't return her calls over a three week (per...
A. 22 May 2008: She seems to be really confused and interested in not hurting you. However, in this situation she has a very high possibility of doing so. Sit down with her and talk, tell her how you feel and what your expectations are. Ask how she feels and how ... (read in full...)
What do I do if he tries to come back into the picture, and if he's truly over her, should I take him back?
Q. I dated my ex for 6 months in what turned out to be a pretty healthy relationship. What I liked about it was, we moved closer with time, not distant and bored as can happen with a lot of people who get overly in fatuated and based on those feelings ...
A. 22 May 2008: Give time to time... meanwhile, get busy doing something you like, take a trip, disconnect from it all. If he does come back maybe it will be you the one that's unavailable.
No one can really tell hun! Good luck!... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for wanting to sleep with him before marriage?
Q. Hi, i would like some advice.Im a 25 year old catholic virgin and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now-we are both in love and plan to marry.I have always wanted to wait i was married before having sex and my boyfriend is so loving and unde...
A. 21 May 2008: You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to sleep with him... however, doing so because he might die before you get married might be. The truth is decisions should not be taken based on life being short. You could die, he could die, I could die, the ... (read in full...)
At what point do you stop 'just seeing someone' and become officially a couple?
Q. Hi just wondering, at what point do you stop 'just seeing someone' and become officially girlfriend and boyfriend? ...
A. 21 May 2008: That is basically up to the two of you. I usually make a joke/not joke about them having to ask me if I want to be their GF. Until then we are just having fun and no rules allowed. This, of course, when I know there is something going on and I ... (read in full...)
It isn't until now that I've pieced all of this together.
Q. Hi, I needed some advice on how to respond to the message that this guy who's interested in me sent me recently. (sorry so long) A little background: I met him about a year ago and he was sooo into me. He called everyday (which I told him was ...
A. 21 May 2008: Run for the hills! Those are definite red flags and if you are not emotionally attached and feel comfortable in doing so, it is a good time to leave that scene.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Can a relationship without affection last?
Q. I'm asking this because my girlfriend told me she's not a very affectionate person and maybe never will be. Is this a cause for concern? I give her plenty of affection and I know she likes me but it's hard to tell sometimes. Please help...
A. 21 May 2008: Some people might not be affectionate because they feel threatened or vulnerable by doing so. This does not mean the don't feel the affection. Maybe give her a little more time and try to assure her of your love for her to see what happens.
... (read in full...)
This boy slapped my bum, what should I do?
Q. Today i was walking up the stairs in my school when suddenly a boy slapped me on the bum! I turned round to see it was a year seven (i'm in year eight) who also happens to be my cousin's best friend! My cousin is also in year 7, and he is real...
A. 21 May 2008: I think you should just let it go. If, however, he does it again, or makes any other moves at you, you should confront him in a very serious note. You need to make clear you want him to respect you. If that doesn't work, talk to the mafia... I ... (read in full...)
Please take a minute to pray for me...
Q. My heart cant take much more! Well i've still been sticking it out with my boyfriend who is still talking and kissing his ex's behind, just so he can have a calm relationship with his kids. I need a prayer request please!!! I want to be strong eno...
A. 21 May 2008: I will... hugz!... (read in full...)
Can I ever forget him or is this a silly phase I'm going though?
Q. Hi all, I worked with a much older guy (30 years older than me). A few months back, he admitted that he fell in love with me the day he met me, he said he never got this before, it was like electricity in the air. I didn't feel it at the time. ...
A. 21 May 2008: Wow... I love these encounters. There are some people that can cause this strong unimaginable feeling in us without even trying. I have no explanation either and would be something really interesting to study. However, at least in my experience, ... (read in full...)
I've been swinging for the past 2 years...should I take it further even though I'm married??
Q. hi i am nat i have been swinging for the last 2 years really in joy it looking to go a bit further in to orgys looking to have sex with 20 guys or more do u think this is a wise move as i am married??????...
A. 21 May 2008: Definitely not a wise move and I am going to forget the whole moral and ethic discourse as I am aware you know it already. Let's go to the scary part!
Condoms prevent 98-99% of the time unplanned pregnancies, HIV and SOME STDs if used correctl... (read in full...)
A poem I wrote...
Q. A hundred causes is between people But for us truly neither To live like we live one without other A hundred causes is separating us But is one of them worth To let us live,like we living? Tonight I lose my breath And I scream in the s...
A. 21 May 2008: That is beautiful... hope time heals your heart! Hugz.... (read in full...)
Does he want me for real or was he just playing?
Q. heres a story. im 24 never been in a single realtionship before. i liked this one guy 2years ago though online chatting. he is from another state (my hometown) while im in another state curently studying. he asked me to be his gf on february. i said ...
A. 21 May 2008: Hi there...
You are a nice girl away in college and he seems like a big time looser. I think you should get out of this one as soon as you can, even if you feel you love him, sometimes love just is not enough. Like Emivia, I think he is scary.
... (read in full...)
I dreamt that I made out with my best girl friend!! What does it mean?
Q. i had a really bad dream..but before that let me tell u that i think i am bi..i want to have sex with a woman although i havent yet done it!!!comimg back to my dream..i dreamt of making out with my best girl friend..it totally grossed me out..i ...
A. 21 May 2008: Hi there... I am not sure it means anything! Our dreams are a way of our subconscious to vent. However, this venting does not come in a straight forward matter. It just tangles around things we have in there. The truth is, the only one that ... (read in full...)
My son is on drugs...does love and patience really work or do I let him hit rock bottom???
Q. I am heartsick. My teen son has always been a gentle, quiet, bright yet strong and determined young man, with high marks and good goals, for his future. We had him in sports--soccer, snowboarding and golf. He always love electronics with a a ...
A. 20 May 2008: I am very sorry for your situation. My family has gone through a similar situation with both my brothers and this is a devastating thing to experience as a family. No one can tell you the one thing that can work because there is no one thing that ... (read in full...)
How do I help my bf who is rapidly gaining weight?
Q. My wonderful boyfriend has gained a lot of weight over the course of a year or so (an extra 50 lbs). I find his family is quite worried about him and so am I. Now he gets hungry late at night but tonight he said he would resist eating a hamburg...
A. 20 May 2008: You should also consider talking to him. Why has this change in food take occur? Sometimes people eat to hide their feelings or to calm their stress. If you could help him identify what is making him eat so much so suddenly, he will become more ... (read in full...)
Had a drunken one-night stand, turns out it was the boss's daughter, but I don't want to see her again! Help!
Q. I had a stupid drunken one night stand, in the morning I felt really sick about it because i was not at all attracted to the woman...I couldnt even look at her. I was nice enough to her and left not wanting to see her again. I went to work and on my ...
A. 20 May 2008: LOL... sorry... just have to laugh... what a luck you have there! Maybe an ex girlfriend who you were deeply in love with has come back to your life. That might be why you have not called her but now you think it is best to let her know. You did ... (read in full...)
Being loving and committed is all very well but what is the value of honesty?
Q. I started seeing someone a couple of weeks ago. I was initially very excited, optimistic and happy. She isn't particularly outgoing though and I have noticed that I have been fantasising about an ex I was with for five and a half years, who was ...
A. 20 May 2008: Hi there...
I think a lot of us feel attracted to other people even when we are in a committed relationship. A couple of my friends are also exes and I occasionally think about them for any one reason (great sex, good chemistry, loving moments ... (read in full...)
I felt he never trusted me. Now I can't move on
Q. I was in a relationship for 8 months and I was truly in love with this man. Problem was that he would always say he loved me more and I never really felt he trusted my love for him due to some kind of insecurity...he said I was out of his league and ...
A. 20 May 2008: Ok... breathe! Really... breathe...
Somehow, by what you say about him chasing after you for three months, it seems you were ready to move on. This "time to sort things out" might have actually been a clean breakup for you. You need to analy... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to become a Buddhist monk. What can I do?
Q. I have been together with my bf for 3 years. He is stable and nice guy. Few days back, he told me that he wants to become a monk when he is 55 years old and that was his goal in his life. I was totally speechless, besides tears i really dont know ...
A. 20 May 2008: A lot of things change in 30 years (judging by your age). The truth is he could die the day before his 54 birthday... I know, bad cynical joke. But my point is a lot of things change over the years including ones point of views in a lot of stuff. ... (read in full...)
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