A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I needed some advice on how to respond to the message that this guy who's interested in me sent me recently. (sorry so long) A little background: I met him about a year ago and he was sooo into me. He called everyday (which I told him was excessive and to calm down) and always wanted to come over my house and spend time with me which wasn't bad at the time but that became exessive too. He kept on coming at me asking when I would be his g/f though, and I told him time and time again I'm not ready for a relationship, now isn't a good time (I'm going back to school for my master's degree so it's intense) but he still asked me. I felt as though he was not respecting my decisions because he kept on pushing the issue and recently he said he didn't want to go back to school (he wants to go to a university in Mexico) until I'm done with mine. I told him I didn't want him to base such a major decision on me because I don't wnat to act as an obstacle between him and his studies. He got really angry when I told him this and stormed out of my house hardly saying goodbye to me.He called me later saying he hopes the best for me in my life and I later left a note at his house saying the same and I hope he does well in his studies, but then he called and left a message asking why I didn't have the courage to pick up the phone and talk to him face to face, and if I was brave enough to call him back because he didn't get to know me through the phone or letters but face to face...what???I haven't called him back--should I even bother? Where did this come from???I feel he did have some personality traits that were like red flags, like storming out when he didn't get his way, being clingy, acting possessive about who I talked to, and wanting to talk to me alone all the time. Yet, it wasn't until now that I am piecing all of this together. I feel offended he would try to call me chicken when I helped him, give him rides when he got into a car accident, and even help him decorate for a special program he was having at his church. Can someone offer some advice as to any sort of action i should take? Thank you
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): This guy thinks he has some type of relationship with you, you should make it clear that he doesn't, it would probably be a good idea to stop all ties with him.
A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Run for the hills! Those are definite red flags and if you are not emotionally attached and feel comfortable in doing so, it is a good time to leave that scene.
Good luck!
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