My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 13 November 2007: Well, I think thats not weird, I might have done the same! There are a lot of guys out there who are married and saying they will divorce just to start something out. Next thing you know they are reconsidering or not sure anymore. Furthermore she ... (read in full...)
I want to be friends, but I'm unsure.
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday. I am completely happy about it. I do want to maintain our friendship but He has said that if I keep calling him that we will never be friends. I don't know what to do. He broke up with me for a 14 yr old. He is ...
A. 9 November 2007: From experience, I believe it is not possible to have a friendship with someone you just broke up with. There are a lot of possible mixed feelings from either side. In time, maybe, you will be able to maintain a friendship, but I would guess th... (read in full...)
He's been hurt in the past.
Q. I have just come out of an eight month relationship and I want to know how to get my ex back. It got to a point in the relationship where he wouldnt answer my calls/texts and he ended it reluctantly when I challenged him about this, saying that he ...
A. 9 November 2007: I believe you do have the answer to your question, is just difficult to accept it. If you've contacted him and friends and family and you have had no response back, then you know. His lack of response is your response!
We can not force people t... (read in full...)
I'm not coping and I'm so confused. What can I do?
Q. Well my boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago now. We had been together for 2 years and had been engaged for over a year. We were a perfect couple but things started to go wrong when i kept falling out with him over stupid things and now i hate ...
A. 9 November 2007: Hi hun,
Ending a relationship, whichever one, is never easy. You've spent time with this person, you've told him your secrets and your feelings, you shared a life together for two years. If there is a true chance of fixing your relation... (read in full...)
Lost love found after 30 years.
Q. 30 years ago, I had the most wonderful girlfriend. She was three years younger than me. We were best friends and complimented each other so well. We really expected to live a normal life, by getting married and having a family. I loved her more than ...
A. 9 November 2007: This is such a beautiful story!! I, on the other hand, would be careful going in. A lot of things change over 30 years: attitudes, points of view, feelings. I'm not saying you shouldn't bring flowers and champagne, you should. And you should ... (read in full...)
He cheated, but says its because he was high, can I forgive him?
Q. So here's the thing, I moved in with a girl who had a spare room. She seemed pretty cool and all that and we got along for while, and I began involving her in my life, letting her come out with me and shop with me, everything friends do. And after ...
A. 9 November 2007: Are you serious? This guy dumps you for four days, doesn't let you come into his house where this other girl is in her undies and his t shirt while you are crying in the garage and you took him back?
I am usually less aggressive on my reply's ... (read in full...)
People take advantage of my genorosity, how can I stop this!
Q. dear friends, Can anyone tell me How can i stop being foolish and giving a 100% of me regarding people?I m just fed up with that but cannot stop it. I feel perfectly fine when alone,the prob.is when I fell in love with or allow certain so called ...
A. 9 November 2007: There is a phrase in Puerto Rico that says: "If you bend too much, you a$$ will show!". I do not mean to be offensive by this phrase but it is a very pictorial way of saying a truth.
Let's begin with your friend. Don't be egocentric, she is s... (read in full...)
Is my marriage over?
Q. I'm 52, only been married for 5 years. First time for me, but my husband had been married before. His first wife developed a very serious illness soon after they married, and was an invalid for practically all of their marriage, and in the end she ...
A. 9 November 2007: Pride will not save your marriage! I know this is hard to hear and it would be hard for me to practice it also, but someone has to give in for the sake of your marriage. Who did what wrong and should apologize will come later on but someone has to ... (read in full...)
I'm 25, male and I've fallen for a 15 year old female online! Do I go for it?
Q. Hey there i'm not regular to this site but hope someone might like to give me advice. . . . . . I'm a 25 year old man, i do not have a job as I quit a few months back and I'm a writer. . . I drink most nights a week and live with my parents....
A. 8 November 2007: Have you considered a drinking problem? Fixing this can help fix all other areas of your life. Alcoholic Anonymous can help. Try it!... (read in full...)
I lack confidence and just can't seem to connect...any advice??
Q. I'm 20 and i have never had sex. I don't want a one night stand after an incident over the summer where one of my friends did it with a 14 year old (after she said she was 16) yet I can't through a relationship as I'm too socially unconfident around ...
A. 8 November 2007: You know what... so what?? If you are a virgin and a geeky guy, thats fine... you'll meet someone you'll feel comfortable with and do it. You'll find out is not such a big thing.. I mean, it does feel good, it is very pleasurable but it isn't ... (read in full...)
Was it the right decision to break up with her?
Q. Hi everybody! I was in love with someone for the last one year and 8 months. As the time went, our relation become fade due to the followig reasons : She was racist and i tried to change her attituds towards racism, but she could't change a...
A. 8 November 2007: Nobody is perfect! Girls you meet will always have something you don't like, whether or not you can deal with them is the real issue. If racism and flirtation are two characteristics you could definitely not deal with or if there were other ... (read in full...)
Should I ignore my feelings for my friend's sake?
Q. Ok. I have little bit of a problem. One of my good friends just went thru a bad breakup, and I have kinda been playing matchmaker and hooking him up with a new but very good friend of mine. They are getting to know each other, but they haven't ...
A. 8 November 2007: I wouldn't say ignore your feelings because of your friend. I would consider what could you offer her, in case she liked girls also. I mean, its one thing to have casual sex with other couples or girls, but when you say you've fallen for her, what ... (read in full...)
I've realised how much I want to be with her and that I wasnt dealing with our problems...but she thinks we are over.
Q. Hi my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and it's been great, we both love each other very much. However over the last say 2 months we have had a tendancy to have an argument about something pretty silly then get angry at each ...
A. 8 November 2007: Hi!
There is a song that says that when a woman decides to forget there's nothing changing her mind. That, however, is untrue in some cases. If she does love you still, she will come back to you, when she is ready.
The thing about endi... (read in full...)
Could it be because I am overweight or are there other reasons why he doesn't want to have sex? I feel terrible.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. We have never really done anything except kiss because i like to always take things slow. I love him and i want to make love to him. I suggested it to him a few times and he said he does not ...
A. 8 November 2007: You need to have an honest conversation with him and let him know you need to know, however the news might make you feel, you need to know! Although weight could affect sexuality, I don't believe this is your case. You have been in a relation... (read in full...)
We were an item once, now just friends, its still o.k to tell her I love her though isnt it?
Q. I am wondering if it is all right to tell a woman friend of mine in an e-mail that I love her and care about her? We had a relationship at one time, but subsequently we have come to a mutual understanding and are good friends. I would also tell ...
A. 8 November 2007: Hi... it is always good to express how we feel, however, it is also important she understands what you are trying to say and that could be tricky in your situation. Because you had a romantic relationship beforehand it is possible and likely that ... (read in full...)
How soon could I be tested by blood/urine to see if I'm pregnant?
Q. i would like to know how soon could i be tested by either blood or urine? to see if im pregnant? ...
A. 7 November 2007: Blood test a lot more accurate than urine! I think an accurate result would be about 2 weeks from conception. Urine samples have different testing capabilities ranging from a week after you were supposed to have your period up to a couple of days ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or is his flirting behaviour just friendly?
Q. I've known this guy since the start of term, and there was like this instant attraction between us. We were both really keen on getting to know each other, even though we were at a new college and there were loads of other people we didn't know. So ...
A. 7 November 2007: That is a question only he can answer.
You, however, have a moral and ethical choice to make. Lets say, for argument sake, he does like you and he would like to get to know you in another kinda way so he breaks up with his current gf. What wou... (read in full...)
I asked my husband's permission to kiss another woman. Should I continue my quest to be with a woman if this fails?
Q. I am a married woman aged 31yrs, I have a 2yr old son, i have told my husband that there is a girl at my gym that I want to kiss so much, she is 22yrs and gay,she was hurt by a married woman before at the gym, I dont want to lose our friendship, but ...
A. 7 November 2007: I cannot give you any advise at it is very delicate thing dealing with ones sexuality and sexual orientation. However, I once was questioning my own sexuality and decided to be with a woman. She and I remain friends but I definitely discovered ... (read in full...)
How do I break the ice talking with the boy I like? - without appearing as weird.
Q. I really like a boy, but I don't know how to approach him. Wouldn't he think I was weird if I just walked up to him and just started a convosation with him when I have never talked to him EVER? Any advice on how to break the ice? ...
A. 7 November 2007: You need to relax and make a VERY casual approach. Try to meet friends who hang out with him or join a club or sport he enjoys. After you've been around with him it will usually be easy to look for and start a conversation in something you think ... (read in full...)
Is it true most girls prefer taller men?
Q. Hi there I'm very worried about my height being a bloke, 18 and only bout 4ft 10 to 5ft tall n Im probably not going to worry. Is it really true that most girls prefer taller men and if so why would u reckon so? I personally find it harsh not just...
A. 7 November 2007: Historically, or at least that is said by anthropologists, women have preferred taller men because they feel secured by them. Just as males prefer thin gals with some hips for childbearing.
This, however, has changed over the years (as we are n... (read in full...)
I feel my bf chooses his family over me and sometimes lies to see them!
Q. i am from trinidad and live with my boyfriend. we both love one another very much. but his family doesn't like me at all. he always choses his family over me and even lies to see them. i know he should get time to see them but they are a bad ...
A. 7 November 2007: We are born with the right and privilege of messing up, you cannot take that away from your bf. Having that stated...
You cannot make decisions for him. Like it or not, that is his family and he will and should prioritize them as such. That doe... (read in full...)
My life is in utter shambles...Filing for Divorce
Q. This is a long and painful story that I will post here, but I need to get some opinions from some "disinterested" third parties as my friends/family have pretty much weighed in on this issue. First, some background to "set the stage" for what's to ...
A. 7 November 2007: Apparently your wife has some really deep issues to deal with. The thing is you cannot deal with them for her and she is not interested in doing so at this time. This is not your fault nor are you able to change that.
Your life, on the other ha... (read in full...)
What to do if he never accepts responsibility.
Q. What should you do if you have a boyfriend who nevers accepts responsibility for his wrong doing or manipulates situations to make me feel i've done something wrong when i haven't. For example he was hiding his phone and i knew there was somthi...
A. 7 November 2007: I kinda disagree... I think if there is trust in a relationship you should not be checking his cel nor calling his ex.
With that said, the problem lies here: you ARE going through a rough patch. I think (from an outsiders and limited informat... (read in full...)
My mistress says she will leave her husband in 18months, but she still puts his interests above mine, does this mean she is not genuine in her desire to leave him?
Q. i am having an affair with a woman i met online. She is in a loveless relationship she has had for nearly 20 years. They also have 3 children who are nearly grown up. She tells me that once her youngest has graduated (about 18 months time) she will...
A. 7 November 2007: Being that you are both adults I believe you should just talk to her about what you feel, in person. The problem with this approach is that (I am assuming) you spend to little time together and I might not spend it talking about serious and ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the other women.
Q. This guy and I were together for a long time, now he is dating another girl and he tells me that he still loves me, always hangs out with me and is always the first one to call or text me. He gets mad when I talk to other guys and still treats me ...
A. 7 November 2007: In Puerto Rico we call these guys the ones that don't and don't let us eat. He, apparently, does not want a relationship with you but he doesn't want you to be in a new relationship either. He is treating you like this because you are permitti... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting?
Q. Hi, Lately my boyfriend of 3 yrs has been acting up he always yells at me and tells me that I stress him. In the 3 yrs he managed to impregnate 2 girls but I forgave him and we moved on but I can't handle his abusiveness. Am I overreacting?...
A. 7 November 2007: What do you want for yourself? I think it is important for you to ask that to yourself. Where do you see yourself in five years? After you do that, ask yourself if he will help you get there or not. Life partners are chosen and should be able to ... (read in full...)
How to get him out of my head
Q. When i met my wife 23 years ago,she was dating a man who i knew and detested,she made it clear to me she had never slept with him,if she had i wouldn't have gone out with her.After a wonderful 23 years with her, i saw this man and asked her about ...
A. 7 November 2007: You still need to work through your feelings. What is it that is troubling you? Talk to her and be sure to express your feelings. It has been a long time since this happened and I am sure you will be able to work through it, but acknowledge and ... (read in full...)
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